So, this is my first time in the Dangan Ronpa side of this site, and I'm really excited. I loved both games and all of the characters. If anyone has constructive criticism, please don't hesitate in giving it to me. I want to give you guys the greatest experience I could give you. -Winter
1. Suffocation in Sympathy
Komaeda lives in the same house he shared with his parents. The house is big, and it's too big for only one person. Komaeda walks around, cleaning and thinking, to be reminded by the framed pictures on the shelves, desks, or on the end-tables of the family he used to have. While his parents were always busy with their jobs, he loved and still loves them unconditionally. His mother's embraces were fleeting, like a breeze in the night. His father's pats on the head were rough, but the remark that followed, "Good Nagito", always warms him just thinking about it. They were estranged, but he knew they loved him. They did, didn't they?
Komaeda doesn't remember. He remembers slightly, but he doesn't want to relive what little past he recalls. He's been living here for his whole adolescence, good and bad luck wearing him down and all he has. He still remembers his innocent puppy, Scrapper. Komaeda was walking back home, and then he saw it. His Scrapper was lying on the side of the road, unmoving and dead. Komaeda only stared in horror, and eventually, he broke down to heart-wrenching fits of crying. Neighbors had crowded him, sympathetically rubbing his back and comforting him as best as they knew.
His dog's death was overshadowed then, by his meeting of a girl. She became his closest friend and comforted him whenever he was feeling down. Komaeda felt like the two of them would last forever as friends, until he was kidnapped by a serial killer lurking their area. Komaeda was imprisoned for "ransom", but his parents were dead and the money had no heir but him. He didn't even know there was a combination for any vault, and the whole ordeal left Komaeda shaken.
He would bring people down to the cellar six feet below, and surgically carry out his murders. He was an expert at it. That could only explain why he hadn't been caught yet. Komaeda, tied up and muffled by the tape around his mouth, watched teary-eyed, and then, as the days passed, Komaeda's eyes blanked. He was willing to die in the hands of a murderer that would unlikely be caught, because at that rate, Komaeda had nothing to lose.
His parents were dead, his dog was dead, and the chances of him ever seeing that girl again were slight. He'll never see her mature into the beautiful, admirable woman she'll be. He'll never see her chase after her dream in becoming a photographer. He'll never see her fall in love and settle down. He'll never have that chance to tell her that he loved her, but all of that was okay. In the end, everyone he loves dies. So what should he try anymore?
As soon as the police found him, Komaeda promised to live in solitude. He works in an office environment, but he doesn't socialize too much. There are co-workers that want to know him, but he isn't worth being maimed or killed for to know. He is respectful enough, but he overdoes it sometimes. He knows he's self-destructive, but he sees no point in changing, because this cycle will never leave him be. Little does he know that his energy rubs off on his co-workers, like Hinata, Souda, and Hanamura.
"Aw, man." Souda sighs, rubbing the back of his neck. His unruly, bright pink hair falls to his shoulders, and there's two mini-braids at the front of his mane. He's sitting in his chair, sighing and vocalizing disappointment, just so Hanamura and Hinata's attentions are brought to him from their own cubicles.
Hanamura doesn't budge, but it doesn't take a sleuth to figure out why. Hinata just lifts his head, peeks, and sees that Hanamura is on a site of adult games, playing some S&M special. He shakes his head, groans, and sits back, telling himself to keep his frustration in check. Yeah, his co-workers are stupid, but his mother always told him to be polite anyways, because there are stupid people everywhere.
"What is it now, Souda?"
"Hinata, did you know Tsu-chan has a crush on Komaeda?" asks Souda quietly. He walks over to Hinata's cubicle, hands in the pockets of his yellow jumpsuit (and the boss should tell him to dress better, Hinata doesn't know why he's let off the hook with all the crap he does but doesn't question their authority), and leans his head in to whisper, but not to actually do it. He's only making it seem like they're privately discussing to get Hanamura's attention—
"What are you guys talking about that excludes moi?" Hanamura stands on his chair, peeking up, and Hinata almost laughs, almost, but he remembers what Souda said.
"Wait… Tsumiki-san likes Komaeda? Are you sure?" asks Hinata, bewildered. He doesn't know who he feels sorrier for. Secretary Tsumiki, for her skittishness and clumsiness that causes her to beat herself up through apologies, or Komaeda for being even more self-effacing than she is, but not as shy, just avoidant. He worries about this combination, because he doesn't know who it will end up wrecking more.
"Yeah. Do you see her face when she brings his paperwork?" Souda shakes his head.
"How scandalous." adds Hanamura conversationally, and Hinata wants to sock both of them.
"She plans on confessing to him."
"Are you serious? I've gotta be there!"
Hinata stares as they talk about it. He can't believe them. They're going to milk laughs from this, despite knowing how disastrous the outcome could be? Not only to the two parties involved, but everyone in this damned building that has to talk to those two at least once a work day?
"You guys," he doesn't know why he's even trying, but maybe, it's because deep down, through his peeves and grumpiness, he actually cares about his co-workers. He'll never admit it, though. "Are you sure this is okay to let happen?"
"Why not? It's for us!" Hanamura smirks, "It would be better if Mi-chan tripped over air and fell on Komaeda as she was going to confess to him—"
"Confess to me about what?" asks Komaeda, walking back to his desk. He's wearing a tidy, black suit. It's nothing fancy, but it is more professional than a yellow jumpsuit. He sits down in his chair, gray eyes staring at the two of them questioningly with his trademark smile. The smile that says, "I'm Komaeda Nagito and whatever you need, I'll get it for you, because I'm trash, anyway", and dammnit, Komaeda's words are literally inside of Hinata's head that it sears.
"Um…" Souda and Hanamura glance at Hinata, so Komaeda follows their eyes.
"Hinata-kun, what are they talking about?"
Hinata is panicking. He doesn't know why the hell he's associated with those two idiots anyway. What the hell did he do to deserve this? If Komaeda wasn't so damned weird, too, he would get along fine with the white-haired co-worker. Despite his inner turmoil, Hinata shrugs and says,
"Beats me. To be honest, I think they're just being idiots. You're better off ignoring them, Komaeda."
"If you say so, Hinata-kun." He lets it dismiss so easily, that Hinata is scared. Yet, the three of them walk to their rightful cubicles anyway, the office thick with tension. Komaeda is literally opposite of Hinata, Hanamura next to him, and Souda left to the break room, but Hinata knows better (he went to bother Sonia from Level 6).
Komaeda has nothing to do. He sits there, watching his computer screen blankly, restlessly. Contrary to what the three may think, he knows. He knows that they talk about him. He knows that they wonder about him. And he knows that Tsumiki Mikan harbors feelings for him. He knows from the way she smiles sweetly at him through her flushed face, adorning a lone mole under her right eye. He knows from the way she leans against him, arms brushing as she quickly files the paperwork right, saying that she forgot to before bringing them (but he truly wonders if she did). He knows from the way her pretty violet eyes linger on his face, and flit off to the side when he turns his head, worried he'll catch her stare, but he already did.
He wants to make her happy as much as he wants to be happy, but his cycle has proven time and time again that he doesn't deserve anything or anyone anymore. He can fall in love with someone or he can like something; he can want them and he can need them, but he can never have any of that fulfilled, or else… Or else, just like Scrapper, just like his parents, and just like…
Clouded memories of dark red hair fluttering in the warm, summer breeze and a freckled smile sends warmth crawling along his spine and he trembles delicately in his chair. His grays are wet, the memories and the realization stinging like salt on a fresh wound. He doesn't deserve to be happy, at all. He forces all of his feelings back, for the sake of the person or the object he feels for. When he can't take it anymore, he stands from his chair and wordlessly leaves, needing air and needing quiet.
He needs the air and the quiet, because this room is too loud and too closed off. This room is boisterous with tension. This room is suffocating with the sympathy, with the wonder, and with the grief. He doesn't want anymore of it, and Komaeda, for the thousandth time that day, wishes to disappear.