Stranger
The man I look at isn't my father
Though I have the shape of his
lips, his freckles
The similarities are alien in his face
He's
a stranger
My tears are not for the loss of him
I can't
cry for someone I don't know
I cry for the past that I never
had
I cry for myself
If I stayed tough, nothing could touch
me
If I stayed away, I'd have nothing to lose
I can't miss
someone I never knew
I blame myself for being too tough
Too
cold
Too distant to reach
I blame myself for holding a grudge
against him
Yet despite this guilt I can't help but hold
onto everything
His absence in my future
His neglect in my
past
In the back of my mind I ask why
He never cared
What
made me impossible to love
I struggle with the inferiority
inherent in me
Because of him
But I'll never get to ask
him these questions
The man I lost was a stranger
So why does
it hurt so bad?