Title: Broken Dolls

Series: Saiyuki

Rating: T (angsty to the nth power)

AN: What happens to Goku if Sanzo falls?

He's dead. I'm so gonna kill him for this, I mean, how dare he? He actually thinks he can touch him and I won't beat the shit out of him? I don't care if he did help us before, no one, no one touches him. Ever.

He hates when people get to familiar, and if he won't let me touch him, he sure as hell won't let some fucked up wanna be youkai lord whoever do it. I don't care if he helped us yesterday, today he touched him, struck him down and made him bleed and I'm gonna rip his face off.

The power rips through me and I know it's too late, can't stop it now, don't wanna. It's his fault, he shouldn't have done that. Not that. And then there's a splintering in my head and a scream, so tortured, like a wild animal caught in a trap, its tearing through my throat and my head falls back, and then all I can do is smile.

Broken chains around my throat, wrists and ankles, they should have used something stronger, of course these wouldn't work to hold me back. Glancing at his slumped body, a bloody, broken doll without a soul, I can't keep the growl of rage from bubbling up from deep within me. The limiter's gone jack ass, probably a good time to flee, but hey, who am I to tell you the obvious, you wanna hang there, become a tangled collection of stringy flesh and muscle under my claws, feel free, I don't care anymore, not now.

Slit eyes burn hellfire in anger and frustration and the part of me that's old, and I mean old, screams its defiance at these stupid weakling youngsters that think they can take and take and not have to pay something back, well I waited 500 freaking years to get him, and in the span of seconds you think you can take him away? I don't think so. Heaven better not screw me on this one, not this, or they won't know what I can really do.

Bastard child of heaven and earth and I'll bring them both down to their knees if they don't give him back to me. There's a wet stickiness drying on my face and chest, coating my hands and I know how much he hates it when I get messy so I try to wipe it off but it doesn't and I'm just standing there scrubbing manically and somewhere it registers that I'm slowly losing my mind and Dear God just make it stop. If he's not here there's no reason for me to be and then what's the point? Just let me go to his side for once and for all and please…just leave us alone.

There's something, something familiar coming closer and I swirl, snarling my defiance as the blast strikes my hands, fractioning into a thousand tiny pieces of light and I know it wasn't meant to hurt me, just to get my attention, try and stall my inevitable downfall into that black pit he saved me from such a long(?), (short?) time ago. The scent comes to me, registers, barely, friend, these are friends but their scent is drowned out by the overwhelming reek of his blood, still heavy in the air and I can almost taste the droplets as they crash to the ground, seeping in to the dusty dessert and in growing desperation I cry havoc at the heavens.

Damn it all! I've done what you asked, give him back, he's mine! You can't have him! Not yet. And I know I'm failing, sinking to the earth and feeling the wind rise up and there's another scent, flowers, honey, serious sensuality and it pings something deep down. Growling up at her, that bitch that sent me here in the first place, took him from me more than once and hell yes I remember, don't try and deny it! And she laughs. She fucking laughs and runs a finger down my cheek at it takes all the willpower at my control not to bite her hand off and flick her off with it. Stupid water sprite rubbing off on me.

But she's got that look that says 'Don't be mad at me' and actually smells sad as she walks past me and there's a small flare up in my chest, maybe, just maybe….

There's a flare as she kneels down next to his lifeless body and I'm crawling towards her on all fours, like an animal slinking up to it's wounded master and I'm not sure if that's wrong or not. Maybe after this long there was a reason I stayed, that I obeyed him and recognized his smell before any others, why he could hear me when I was lost and alone, but it's him that's lost now, lost to me and if she can't do this then I have no reason to listen to her anymore. She has to, she just has to.

The flare is gold, like his hair and I remember the sun that guided me, guarded me when I was young and rash and fearful in non-understanding of just about everything and I know it was her who gave me to him, but she also took him away and for that I can't forgive her, but if she can do this now…well, maybe I can forgive her just a bit.

There's sweat on her forehead and I wonder how can gods sweat, but then there's her hand reaching out to me and I know she needs help, he's fighting her and it hurts, God it hurts being here alone. And then I'm calling in my head or out loud I don't know and I don't care and there are tears stinging my eyes and I can't stay here if he's not with me and please, please don't leave me again.

A twitch, a cough and violet eyes slip open, just a touch across his cheek to know it's really him and in the back of my skull I hear famous last words, "stupid monkey," and they slip back closed but I'm laughing now and the golden halo slips lightly into my hair and that part of me that would have ripped down the very vaults of heaven sighs and fades into the darkness, a soft golden glow wrapping around his wrist. Wavering on the peripheral of my vision I see that chain loop out through the darkness of time and space and through all heaven and earth, to lightly coil around his and finally I can rest.

Slumping against him my head rests on his chest and fingers twine in his, and beneath my ear I hear the steady thrum of his blood and pulse and mine loops into the rhythm, calm and serene and suddenly the world is right again. There's a twinge in his fingers and I can almost feel the smile curling in my mind.

Stupid monkey…thank you.

Fin.