Disclaimer

I own NOT

the anime, the video, the song, the translation, the characters etc

This was made in a whim and I am an absolute amateur.

Please enjoy although it may not be as much as I enjoyed the video. ^^

Songfic - Kimi no shiranai monogatari

I smirked at him. He snarled back. Shinra as usual sighed again and Kadota, while focusing on his lunch like his life depended on it, sighed inwardly. Well, understandably, no person right with his mind would want to get involved in our daily bickering. Yes, daily, without fail.

But then we decided the taunting and losing temper took too much energy, and so peacefully, we ate silently on the rooftop.
Everything was the same, except when he opened his mouth again.
"Lets go stargazing tonight,"
He said, with eyes twinkling with delight, albeit a bit sheepishly.

I rose my eyebrow. Kadota and Shinra, I bet purposely, dropped their bags.

" Oohhh! Good idea!" Shinra said excitedly.
I could've used a taunt now, but...

I kinda lose confidence now.

Am I invited?

So not like me.

But when it comes to him, I..

" This is the first good idea I heard from you in years, shizuo!"
But being me, still, I could not let this slip.

"Ah ah, shizu chan, what a surprise! Do you even know what is the meaning of stargazing? I bet your small cute brain cant-"
"Fleeaa! Of course I do!"
"What does it mean then?" I kept pushing him.

"It means we go and see the stars right? Argh whatever! So, who's in?" Shizuo raised his hand and looked at us three.
Kadota raised his hand.
Shinra raised and waved his hand animatedly."I want to go! It must be exciting!"

And the whole time I was unconsciously biting my lips. I was so nervous. My heart beat fast and my breaths short. Silently, I pray that he would ask me if I would go. I kinda pity myself to stoop so low, fidgeting like a girl waiting to confess, but it doesn't matter because I just, I really want to go and spend time with shizu, its fine even as a get together with us four, but the problem is what if he doesn't ask m-

"Flea, you coming?"
My eyes almost widen but I managed to control it.
I almost let out an 'Eh?" But I changed it in the last moment.
"Hmmmm..."
" so you're coming or not, flea?" He asked again irritably.
" why of course shizu chan, I have to go, otherwise you may mistakenly identify a bug as the star, or even the frog! Well what can I say, it gets one to know one... oh I forgot, you're single cell.."
"That's it, IZAYA!"

I hope I didnt give away excitement in my voice.
Could it be tonight?
When I could finally confess my feelings?
Please accept it, Shizu..

" It's darkkk..."
Shinra would not stop his whining.
"Well of course, we have to climb this hill first before reaching the best place to go stargazing- is what shizu chan wanted to say, right?"
I purposely distract from him from what he was musing about.

"Er, yeah.. but guys, why dont we rethink?"
"What do you mean shizuo?" That has to be Kadota's first line.
"Yeah, isn't this, quote shinra, your first brilliant idea ever since you've been born with that simple brain of yours?"
"Hey I didn't say that! or say it like that..." Shinra frowned.

"Izaya! I heard that! You flea!" He was ready to uproot a tree beside him.

"Shizuo, relax!" Shinra and Kadota tried to calm him down. Me? I just danced around while smirking, aggravating him even more.

" oh Shizuchan, could it be... we're lost?" I looked at him.

"Er.."

I sighed dramatically while shrugging.
" I knew it. Of course. Why dont you try sniffing it?"
"Izaya! Are you saying that I am a dog?"

"Hmm? Oh no, of course not! You're single cell, ne?"

Shizuo and I began our cat and dog chase. Kadota and Shinra desperately tried to follow us.

Oh Shizu, dog or not, Ill sniff you out wherever you are.

But, if I confess, what will happen?
Would you laugh?
Would you smile so big I could be blinded? ( I want this one)
Or.. would you be mad and toss me aside?
This, this anxiety is so heavy its killing me..
Even your steps feel like its stomping me..

Oh Shizu chan, how I just want to blurt out everything in my heart now... you are so near, yet so far...

"Guys, stop and look up!"
Shizuo has succeeded to grab my wrist when Shinra shouted. Both of us stopped and simultaneously looked up.
It took a while.
It was beautiful.
No, it was breathtaking.

Unbeknownst to both shizuo and I, we have reached the top of the hill.
Ignoring shinra's almost girly squeal, his and Kadota's presence, (I dont hate you dotachin!) This would be almost romantic.

The stars were spread across the sky like a sack of sugar has been burst open. If you look closely, they were of different colours.

The night sky seemed like it was raining stars

But the most magnificent was this scene.
Your grip on my wrist loosen, but you didn't let go. Facing upwards, you has the most beautiful expression ever, Shizuo.

He was awed.
And again, I was, by him.

Then, we all sat on the top of the hill, looking up. Admiring the rare, beautiful view before us.

Somehow, I managed to sit myself next to Shizuo without getting killed.

Somehow he silently agreed no fighting should disturb this perfect moment.

Since when I wonder

Have I been chasing you?

Please, I beg, dont be surprised

Please listen, to this feelings

Shinra has not stopped his ramblings even after Kadota's 20th absentminded nods. Shizuo, sitting at my left, just looked at them with a small smile.

He seemed to be in a good mood.

Could it be that this is a perfect chance for me?

I braced myself, reaching out to the hem of his shirt.

Slowly, I swallowed and tugged slowly.

He did not move.

Ah, maybe a bit too slow.

I bit my lips. I tugged a bit stronger.

He jumped a bit.

Ergh, my heart apparently did a somersault.

"Shi-shizu..chan.." My voice was getting smaller as I tried my best to gather up my words.

He turned to look at me.

"Flea?"

Unconsciously, I tugged his shirt stronger due to my nervousness.

I looked away, unable to see him in the eyes.

"Act-actually, I, Shizu I-"

"Oooh! What are you guys talking abooouuttt?"

Huh?

Huh?

That was not Shizuo.

Shinra.

Oh yes, Shinra that was.

I managed to choke him to unconsciousness. And maybe a bruise or two.

He just ruined my perfect chance.

I should have broken his bones as well.

"Oh look, that's Altair, Deneb and Vega,"

All of us looked to the sky as Shizuo pointed his finger to the stars.

I nodded. I could make out the Summer Triangle.

The stars make me remember the folk tales.

I could imagine myself as Orihime sama. I giggled silently.

But my Hikoboshi sama has not come into my arms yet.

I looked at Shizuo sadly.

That's a bit lonely.

Even now, after at least 5 years of our first little stargazing, nothing has changed between us, Shizuo.

And yet I remember the day as clear as if it was only yesterday.

But it was not the last attempt to confess to him.

I did remember my last attempt, because it was also my very first heartbreak.

It was not even Valentine's day. But I woke up feeling refreshed, and suddenly had this baseless confidence in me that I felt, if I confess today, I would never be lonely any more.

Because it was, when he did not know my feelings.

So I came to school so early in the morning, it was probably only 7 when I reached his class.

I spent a few minutes staring at his desk, mustering up my courage.

I would confess to him after school.

After the bell rang, I quickly ran down to the shoe locker, I knew he would be there.

My heart was thumping fast, but in the next second, it stopped.

I remembered how my energy drained when I saw a letter in Shizuo's shoebox from afar. I came to a complete stop, hiding behind the next row of shoe lockers.

Hiding my tears that were threatening to come out behind my poker face.

Next to you,who was having fun,
I couldn't say anything.

Even when he had left the locker, probably going off somewhere under a tree and getting confessed by, I had not moved.

I breathed a heavy sigh.

I slid down the locker.

How could my heart handle this?

In truth, I had realised my feelings for you

somewhere before

I found them,
but they'll never reach you.

And that was when I decided that, probably,

I should give up.

Give up completely.

"It's no use. Don't cry."
That's what I told myself.

That was right. I had given up. In these five years, I did nothing childish like trying to give him a love letter.

Tugging his shirt like some kind of fool.

Stuttering like madness.

Crying. Because it did not help.

It still hurt.

I bluffed in my faint-heartedness,
Acting like I had no interest.
However,

But giving up does not mean that my love was gone.

I could not look at Shizuo when he was passing my class with his so called girlfriend.

I tried to look casual.

Failing, I looked down to my feet.

"Oi flea,"

I couldnt answer. Pretending I did not hear while we are only a few feet away.

"Flea! Oh, Vorona, this is Izaya, he is.."

I began to walk away.

I could not even bear to stay there any moment longer.

Apparently my love towards the blonde was stronger than I thought.

I ignored the blonde's calls.

That prickling pain in my chest, growing...

So today the stars were bright again, huh..

That was why these memories came to surface.

Pathetic, Izaya...

I remembered something. I checked my old phone's message history.

"Shizu chan!"

"What do you want, flea?"

Shizuo looked up from whatever he was reading to me, who came from the back.

"Oohh! Shizu chan is reading!"

"Well I need to! The exam is near and I-hey, give me back my phone flea!"

That's right, I took his phone out of his chest pocket when he was rambling about exam.

I ran out of the class, while texting myself using Shizuo's phone.

I love you Izaya

Almost giggling like a girl, I was.

I deleted the message in Shizuo's phone and returned it, unscathed.

And I still keep the message in my old phone. A small smile tugged at my lips.

Mn...that's right.

Falling in love is like that.

More memories come flooding in now as I looked out of my window.

There was one time when Shizuo has failed his test.

He needed to retake it and pass, otherwise he would not be able to continue.

Shinra suggested for me to tutor him.

Reluctantly, I agreed.

"Ah, ah.. I cant believe I am tutoring Shizu chan today!"

Shizuo seem to have less temper today.

He just silently did the exercise I assigned him to do.

" Well, I wonder why Shizu chan is okay with me being his tutor? Ne, ne, why Shizuchan?"

His answer shocked me.

"What do you mean, flea? You got perfect marks dont you? You are perfect for me,"

Perfect for me?

Perfect for me?

I know the context was different, but,

Can he please not get my hopes up like this?

And make me blush like mad?

"Shiz-shizu chan what are you saying?"
I got up and fled immediately.

Funny and sweet memories with Shizuo, I cherished them so much.

One time when we made a bet. Kadota and I versus Shizuo and Shinra.

That was when we discovered Shizuo and Shinra as having no talent whatsoever in cooking.

It was horrendous.

As much as I love him, I did not want to be rested in hospital for food poisoning.

The first time I met Kasuka, Shizuo's younger brother.

It was also the first time Shizuo met my sisters, Mairu and Kururi.

The funny thing is, Kasuka offered to share his umbrella with me, after recognising me as his friend.

My sisters also did the same.

Coincidences like this somehow warmed my heart.

The irritation on Shizuo's face when I dressed up as a girl in his surprise birthday party.

I thought I could fool him and had a little fun.

But, oh well.

Apparently I would not have a chance even as a girl.

Those moments when I stole a few glances at him.

When he was asleep on the roof.

When he was trying to defend his not so high maths mark against Shinra's taunt.

When I was late to class and Shinra, Kadota and him were talking about me.

When I childishly ignored him for a few weeks after the girl's confession.

And now, we have grown up.

I became an informant, him a bodyguard in butler's suit.

Both of us in and out of relationship.

But the relationship between us stay unmoved.

A far but close, clear yet undefined.

In truth it drove me mad.

What do I want to do? Please tell me.
There was a voice in my heart.

If my younger self was standing before me right now, what would I say to him?

Would I apologise?

Things have not changed one bit.

If there is, it would be that Shizuo is more easily irritated now.

But if he asked me, what do you want to do?

What do you want me to do?

Being beside you is enough.
Reality is harsh.

I was satisfied, yet I was not.

Tonight, after dwelling in my memories, I felt like seeing Shizuo again.

Hence I went out of my house and went straight to Ikebukuro.

Soon after, Shizuo's hand was on my neck.

"What are you doing here, flea?"

I didn't say it.
I couldn't say it.
I'll never get another chance.

That was right. Then or now, I did not say it.

I couldnt.

The chance I never had was blown away.

My pathetic self never changed.

That summer day,
Those sparkling stars
Even now I still remember.
That laughing face,
And that angry face,
I really loved them.

That was right, that day.

Your small yet excited smile when everyone agreed to go.

Your angry face after we taunted you countless times.

I still have them in my memories.

Strange isn't it?
Even though I knew that...

I chuckled. Shizuo loosened his grip on my neck.

"Flea?"

Because my chuckled slowly turned into sobs.

"Do you know a secret, right Shizu chan?"

"Oi flea, what is this secret you are talking about?"

I went silent.

You didn't know,
The secret only I knew.

"And why are you crying now?"

Oops, apparently my tears were unstoppable now.

He touched my face, trying to wipe out the tears. My breath hitched. Shizu..

I quickly covered his eyes with my hand. The last thing I want him to do is to see this emo me.

He grunted, yet he made no move to remove my hand.

"Tch, whatever flea, just stop crying already,"

What a considerate person I have crush on.

Do you want me to fall even more?

That night long-ago
In a distant memory,
You pointed,
And with an innocent voice...

I pointed at towards the sky.

He looked back.

"Ah, its beautiful,"

"Yes, perfect night for kissing," I blurted it out. Is this the end?

He looked at me.

"Kiss?"
I nodded.

Because he looked more nervous than angry.

Would we kiss under the starry night?

Would he accept my feelings now?

My gaze never left his as he inched closer...

The end.

=P Kyaha.