Disclaimers : Nothing but the plot and the words of this fic belong to me. I'm not a very huge Rabi X Miranda fan, but my friend wanted a story on them and it got rather fun writing it along the way. Set after chapter 74. For Kazeki
Reconciliation
The deck of the ship is quiet but for the movements of the few sailors who remain on watch-out in the crow's nest. Everyone else has retreated down below in an attempt to wrestle a few precious moments of rest from the sandman's grasp.
Looking around at the full white sails and the men high above, talking quietly on their wooden perch, Miranda feels her heart shatter. When she reaches the brink of exhaustion and her innocence fails, the sea vessel will be in ruins, and they will be dead.
"I cannot revive the dead" she had told Rabi, and while she knows that she did not lie, she wishes against hope that maybe, she could. Miranda wraps thin arms around herself, and as her fingers brush against her shoulders, the smooth black surface of her anti-akuma equipment is not there to give her sorely needed comfort.
Rabi turns and tosses in bed, sheets wrinkling beneath him. He is exhausted but the phantom pangs of open wounds and Miranda's words keep him wide awake and frustrated. In his head, the scene replays itself over and over again, throwing the crew members off him, Miranda holding him, him shouting at her and then that quietly spoken line. He had not understood then, so he ran.
Looking back, Rabi is fairly certain that if anyone had been in the wrong, it was definitely him. With a low growl, he throws the blanket off his narrow frame and stalks out of the cabin for some fresh air.
Up on deck, the wind is salty on his tongue, uncomfortably like the taste of tears on skin. It is quiet but for the murmuring song of the sea and the rushing whispers of the few men taking their turn on guard. Rabi's first instinct is to turn and retreat back below when he sees a familiar silhouette outlined in black and white against the midnight blue of the night sky.
But if Kanda finds out about this, Rabi scared of a girl, he will never live it down. And besides, anyone who had the guts to call him a coward never survived long enough to regret it. He takes a deep breath and plows forward, boots clicking sharply on the wooden planks of the deck floor. Facing level 3 akumas had been easier.
Hearing the loud footsteps behind her, Miranda spins around, a bit too rapidly and trips on her own foot, losing her balance. She braces herself for the fall that never comes and when she looks up, blue-green eyes stare back at her, half-hidden by rusted red bangs and the intensity of the gaze frightens her.
"Ra…Rabi-kun!" Flustered, she quickly gathers herself and moves away from him as if stung, cheeks flaming hot. Rabi raises an eyebrow at her, rather taken back by her somewhat violent response, had he grabbed her too tightly? Quickly dusting herself off, embarrassed with eyes on the floor, Miranda bows in apology, "I'm deeply sorry Rabi-kun."
"For what?"
His question surprises her and she stumbles over her words for an answer. "For…..for….I …." And then she becomes silent, thoughtful expression on her face, to be honest, she'd not very sure for what either, only that it must be her fault. Finally, "for falling?" she offers, not very helpfully and Rabi gives her a small grin tinged with amusement.
"That's not something that you need to apologize for."
Miranda does not know what to say, the last person who had said that to her had been Allen. The silver-haired boy with the star on his eye and his hand which conferred miracles where he went had turned her life upside down, for the better she is sure.
"Actually, if anyone should be asking for forgiveness, it should be me."
Startled, Miranda whips her head up to look at the younger exorcist, ink black curls of her hair whipping her pale face. He is looking away, sheepish expression on his face, hand buried in the hair at the base of his neck, giving her the impression that he has utterly no idea of what he is currently doing. Gaze focused on some faraway point, it must be a star she thinks, Rabi continues.
"I shouldn't have said those things to you today, I'm sure you must have been really worried about Rinali too, and even more you were worried for all of us. I was being selfish, thinking about myself only…" pausing he finally turns to face her. "I'm sorry."
The sincerity on his face is too much, Miranda is not used to this, cannot accept it, and she bows again, because it is her means of escape.
"No, it's my fault, I didn't understand your feelings, I was in the wrong, I…"
"Why?" Rabi cuts her off, tone sharp. "Why were you in the wrong?"
He is getting frustrated. It had been apparent to everyone that Rabi had been the one with the careless piercing words, who had spoken without thinking, who had hurt an innocent person who had only meant well. Bookman has reprimanded him, Crowly has chided him, but why does she insist on seeking pardon for no crime that she is guilty of. Must she add to his sin by not allowing him to repent?
Never before has Miranda been asked to justify her apology, if anything, people had only given her reasons to show that they had been deserving of whatever forgiveness she had asked for. So she explains in the only way that she has been taught to, the only way she knows how to.
"It's my fault" because all her life, this is the only certainty she has ever known. It is where everything starts and how everything ends for her.
Biting his lip, Rabi reaches out to grip her wrist and yanks her towards him, a tad bit too roughly, but he is too angry now to care, other hand slipping beneath her chin, fingers deftly tilting her face to meet his. Shock is written all over her expression and she looks up at him, helpless, not knowing how to respond.
"Why is it your fault? Why is it that every time something goes wrong, you must automatically assume responsibility?" Rabi has never in his life met anyone who has exasperated him like this.
He is furious at her, Miranda thinks, and the scared suppressed part of her in the back of her mind whispers that it's all her fault. Her lips tremble and dark eyes grow overly bright, it is the only way she knows how to cope.
"Why?"
"I don't know…"
Her shoulders shake and Rabi mentally smacks himself on his head. Way to go genius, he thinks, that's two times in a day you made her cry, must be a new record because even the reigning prince of insensitivity, Kanda, would not have been capable of such a feat. Miranda's tears are silent, she has spent many years crying by herself in the dark. Instinctively, Rabi moves his gloved hands over her face, wiping the droplets from below her eyes, the leather pricking her skin. An illogical thought crosses her mind, his hands are warm.
"It's not your fault" tone much gentler now, coaxing, "maybe, sometimes, once in awhile, you may be the one in the wrong, but not this time okay."
It is a very realistic statement and it makes more sense to Miranda, and hits closer to home, than someone who would have told her that she is never the one as fault. And the way Rabi says it, head tilted to watch her under the curtain of earth coal curls, fingers brushing away her tears, makes her want to believe him.
In a bold unprecedented move which Rabi does not think that he will ever be capable of doing ever again, for lack of courage, he leans forward and presses his forehead against hers, hands still cupping her face. His words are barely above as whisper but Miranda hears every single one.
"Now, stop crying long enough for me to apologize for being an ass today."
Miranda blinks and swipes viciously away at her face, drying the wetness of her cheek with the back of her hand. She does not know what else to do but comply to this funny exorcist boy with his strange ways of doing things which she barely comprehends. A small smile lifts Rabi's lips as she looks up at him with clear over bright eyes.
"I'm sorry."
She nods and then starts to cry even harder.