Perfect
Summary: Have you ever wanted to take your own life? Not just think about it, but seriously really consider it, turn it over in your mind. Ron does so every day. But can he actually do it? He's the middle pillar holding up a tall building and if he were to cease existince, so would everyone else. But does Ron know that?
Rating: R. It'll get extremely dark in upcoming chapters. Lots of angst. Suicide, death, and much more. You have been warned.
Disclaimer: The characters and situations in this story belong to JK Rowling, Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Warner Bros. The writer is making no money off of it and does not claim ownership over it. And other citations will be made where necassary.
Dedication: I'm dedicating this to JK Rowling, who's imagination and amazing mind has put together an incredible story that has inspired me to write this fanfic. Please don't sue me Joanne, I do not claim to own this, for my mind could never compare to yours. Thanks for helping me decide where I want to go in life.
Author's Note: This story is a songfic to Perfect by Simple Plan. I heard it and I thought Hey.... a story is just begging to be written. So I wrote this. Oh.... Ron might be a little OOC. But consider this.... you get to the summer holidays, neither of your best friends send you letters for whatever reasons, your family barely says two words to you all summer, you start reading the articles that are showing up in the paper about Voldemort, and finally you realize there are things going on around you that you have no control over. You're probably going to change drastically. So if Ron's OOC, sorry. I think it's awesome OOC! This is my first time posting up anything I've written. Only my friends and teachers have read my writing. Until now! R&R!
Thanks to my wondeful beta-reader, Scott. Thanks so much! I probably wouldn't have finished this if you hadn't convinced me to send it to you, complimented it, and told me to finish it. Love ya!
XOXOXOX
Prologue
*** 'Cause we lost it all, Nothing lasts for ever, I'm sorry, I can't be Perfect.
Simple Plan, Perfect ***
I watch my fellow classmates. They all look so happy. They look like my outward mask. The one that smiles and laughs and makes funny cracks about his teachers. The one who doesn't laugh when Neville Longbottom spills his potion all over the floor, the one who puts up with being second best. The one who lets people surpass him. The fake me. The real me...... you don't want to know.
The real me is hardly ever happy. But when it is, the happiness is sparked by another's pain. The real me laughs so hard he cries from mirth when Neville Longbottom spills his potion all over the floor. The one who accidentally let his real emotions get to him when his best friend decided to beat him again. The one who refuses to let people surpass him. The real me. So now what do you think?
I loathe the whole world. As far as I'm concerned, the world can just turn its back on me, while I turn my back on it. I'll never be able to look someone in the eyes and say "Isn't this a beautiful world?" Why? Because it isn't. There's war, evil, poverty, death and worse. What's to live for? What do I say to people like Ginny, who ask me what life is worth living for.
"Nothing. It's not worth living for. You might as well just take a gun, put it to your head and pull the trigger. Do it before someone else gets the chance. We all die. Some of us less horrible than others. There really isn't any point in living, little Ginny, so why don't you go run along now and hang yourself."
Oh how I'd love to say that, but the fake me puts on a grin and says, "Well no one really knows... but there's got to be some reason, hasn't there? We can't just all be wasting our lives, getting up in the morning, going to class/work/strip club, eating a little and then going to sleep/more strip clubs." A bit of humor thrown in to get Ginny to laugh.
But really.... perhaps we are all just wasting our time doing stupid things. Trying to make ourselves interesting to people who will never care or even notice. Humans are cruel to each other. It's human nature to save yourself during a fire, rather than save a crying child. We might do it but there's still that hestitation... the thought that occurs to you. "Who gives a shit about a dumb baby?" I mean.... you'll end up grabbing the baby and running for your life and if you don't then you're more cruel than most humans. The fact is, they really don't care.
So if someone says "Oh it was the least I could do!" you wonder... is it really the least? What's the best you could do?
Life is just not worth living.... but it's not as though I could really end it. I'm terrified of the pain, and not only that.... if I'm going down, I'm going down with something to say. I'm not just going leave some note. I'll stand up in front of a bunch of people, tell them what I'm thinking now and then shoot myself in the head. Big impact. We all have horrible lives, some worse than others. But I feel safe gambling all of the gold in Gringotts that I have one of the worst.
Let's starts with wealth. Going to school with hand-me-downs every damn day of my life is just a reminder of how not so well-off I am. In a way, I blame people like Malfoy, who have got money and power and recognition, and in others, I blame my parents. I love them and whatever, but if you don't have enough money to take care of seven children, you shouldn't have had them in the first place. Then there are the people who think I'm some sort of charity case. I may not have enough money for things but I don't need people giving me any. I really don't. So all those people like Harry, who will buy me a Chudley Cannons hat and omniocluars and god knows what else should just bugger off and stop worrying about me.
Then there's where I stand. I'm not the coolest, like Bill. Not the most successful, like Charlie. Not smart, like Percy. Not funny, like Fred and George. Not adorable, like Ginny. I shall never have any recognition, for I'm not really good at anything. Except chess and what help is that? I'll never have a good job like the rest of my family. They'll probably make loads of money. But me..... I got a king, a queen and eight pawns. Spiffing.
Then there's the fact that I never do anything right. I tried Quidditch and couldn't do it, I'm rubbish at all my subjects, I'll not be Prefect and I'm not even slightly attractive. So when does all that "You'll be great in Gryffindor!" come in. It's what the Sorting Hat said. So far, it lied.
I guess I'm here on the earth to tell Malfoy to shut up, Hermione to stop acting like a know-it-all and Harry to take it easy. When I compare my life with Harry's, it's the only one I can find worse than mine. I can't imagine what I'd do if I had no parents and was forced to live with horrible sodding muggles. Anti-magic ones at that. It must be horrible to be fifteen years old and already have met your mortal enemy, not to mention faced him four times, once when you were just a little baby, and had only just had your parents murdered by him.
Maybe that's why I don't top myself. Because if Harry can go through all he's gone through, which is a lot worse than what I have, then I guess I can too. But it can be so diffcult. How does everyone deal? I just want to.... I don't even know what I want to do. Typical. What else would you expect?
Ronald Weasley..... Problem Child. That's what the headlines will say if I ever snap and do something I'll be a coward for doing. But I won't do it. Because I know there's still people like Harry in the world. And perhaps - perhaps, someone like me out there as well.
That was the Prologue. I hope you've got the drift of the story so far. The next chapter will be up in a week. Unless no one reviews, in which case, I'll just remove it. Please review!!!!
-Tine
Summary: Have you ever wanted to take your own life? Not just think about it, but seriously really consider it, turn it over in your mind. Ron does so every day. But can he actually do it? He's the middle pillar holding up a tall building and if he were to cease existince, so would everyone else. But does Ron know that?
Rating: R. It'll get extremely dark in upcoming chapters. Lots of angst. Suicide, death, and much more. You have been warned.
Disclaimer: The characters and situations in this story belong to JK Rowling, Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Warner Bros. The writer is making no money off of it and does not claim ownership over it. And other citations will be made where necassary.
Dedication: I'm dedicating this to JK Rowling, who's imagination and amazing mind has put together an incredible story that has inspired me to write this fanfic. Please don't sue me Joanne, I do not claim to own this, for my mind could never compare to yours. Thanks for helping me decide where I want to go in life.
Author's Note: This story is a songfic to Perfect by Simple Plan. I heard it and I thought Hey.... a story is just begging to be written. So I wrote this. Oh.... Ron might be a little OOC. But consider this.... you get to the summer holidays, neither of your best friends send you letters for whatever reasons, your family barely says two words to you all summer, you start reading the articles that are showing up in the paper about Voldemort, and finally you realize there are things going on around you that you have no control over. You're probably going to change drastically. So if Ron's OOC, sorry. I think it's awesome OOC! This is my first time posting up anything I've written. Only my friends and teachers have read my writing. Until now! R&R!
Thanks to my wondeful beta-reader, Scott. Thanks so much! I probably wouldn't have finished this if you hadn't convinced me to send it to you, complimented it, and told me to finish it. Love ya!
XOXOXOX
Prologue
*** 'Cause we lost it all, Nothing lasts for ever, I'm sorry, I can't be Perfect.
Simple Plan, Perfect ***
I watch my fellow classmates. They all look so happy. They look like my outward mask. The one that smiles and laughs and makes funny cracks about his teachers. The one who doesn't laugh when Neville Longbottom spills his potion all over the floor, the one who puts up with being second best. The one who lets people surpass him. The fake me. The real me...... you don't want to know.
The real me is hardly ever happy. But when it is, the happiness is sparked by another's pain. The real me laughs so hard he cries from mirth when Neville Longbottom spills his potion all over the floor. The one who accidentally let his real emotions get to him when his best friend decided to beat him again. The one who refuses to let people surpass him. The real me. So now what do you think?
I loathe the whole world. As far as I'm concerned, the world can just turn its back on me, while I turn my back on it. I'll never be able to look someone in the eyes and say "Isn't this a beautiful world?" Why? Because it isn't. There's war, evil, poverty, death and worse. What's to live for? What do I say to people like Ginny, who ask me what life is worth living for.
"Nothing. It's not worth living for. You might as well just take a gun, put it to your head and pull the trigger. Do it before someone else gets the chance. We all die. Some of us less horrible than others. There really isn't any point in living, little Ginny, so why don't you go run along now and hang yourself."
Oh how I'd love to say that, but the fake me puts on a grin and says, "Well no one really knows... but there's got to be some reason, hasn't there? We can't just all be wasting our lives, getting up in the morning, going to class/work/strip club, eating a little and then going to sleep/more strip clubs." A bit of humor thrown in to get Ginny to laugh.
But really.... perhaps we are all just wasting our time doing stupid things. Trying to make ourselves interesting to people who will never care or even notice. Humans are cruel to each other. It's human nature to save yourself during a fire, rather than save a crying child. We might do it but there's still that hestitation... the thought that occurs to you. "Who gives a shit about a dumb baby?" I mean.... you'll end up grabbing the baby and running for your life and if you don't then you're more cruel than most humans. The fact is, they really don't care.
So if someone says "Oh it was the least I could do!" you wonder... is it really the least? What's the best you could do?
Life is just not worth living.... but it's not as though I could really end it. I'm terrified of the pain, and not only that.... if I'm going down, I'm going down with something to say. I'm not just going leave some note. I'll stand up in front of a bunch of people, tell them what I'm thinking now and then shoot myself in the head. Big impact. We all have horrible lives, some worse than others. But I feel safe gambling all of the gold in Gringotts that I have one of the worst.
Let's starts with wealth. Going to school with hand-me-downs every damn day of my life is just a reminder of how not so well-off I am. In a way, I blame people like Malfoy, who have got money and power and recognition, and in others, I blame my parents. I love them and whatever, but if you don't have enough money to take care of seven children, you shouldn't have had them in the first place. Then there are the people who think I'm some sort of charity case. I may not have enough money for things but I don't need people giving me any. I really don't. So all those people like Harry, who will buy me a Chudley Cannons hat and omniocluars and god knows what else should just bugger off and stop worrying about me.
Then there's where I stand. I'm not the coolest, like Bill. Not the most successful, like Charlie. Not smart, like Percy. Not funny, like Fred and George. Not adorable, like Ginny. I shall never have any recognition, for I'm not really good at anything. Except chess and what help is that? I'll never have a good job like the rest of my family. They'll probably make loads of money. But me..... I got a king, a queen and eight pawns. Spiffing.
Then there's the fact that I never do anything right. I tried Quidditch and couldn't do it, I'm rubbish at all my subjects, I'll not be Prefect and I'm not even slightly attractive. So when does all that "You'll be great in Gryffindor!" come in. It's what the Sorting Hat said. So far, it lied.
I guess I'm here on the earth to tell Malfoy to shut up, Hermione to stop acting like a know-it-all and Harry to take it easy. When I compare my life with Harry's, it's the only one I can find worse than mine. I can't imagine what I'd do if I had no parents and was forced to live with horrible sodding muggles. Anti-magic ones at that. It must be horrible to be fifteen years old and already have met your mortal enemy, not to mention faced him four times, once when you were just a little baby, and had only just had your parents murdered by him.
Maybe that's why I don't top myself. Because if Harry can go through all he's gone through, which is a lot worse than what I have, then I guess I can too. But it can be so diffcult. How does everyone deal? I just want to.... I don't even know what I want to do. Typical. What else would you expect?
Ronald Weasley..... Problem Child. That's what the headlines will say if I ever snap and do something I'll be a coward for doing. But I won't do it. Because I know there's still people like Harry in the world. And perhaps - perhaps, someone like me out there as well.
That was the Prologue. I hope you've got the drift of the story so far. The next chapter will be up in a week. Unless no one reviews, in which case, I'll just remove it. Please review!!!!
-Tine