Okay, here's the first chapter!

I had tons of fun writing this, and hope you guys enjoy(:

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EPOV:

I sighed to myself, quiet enough for Emmett not to hear. It was Tuesday. The second Tuesday of the month. It was Emmett and I's day to bond. Or, as Emmett liked to call it, 'The E Brotha's Bonding time', or my very favoirte; 'Eddy and Emmy's Time of the Month'. Oh god.

Emmett was already waiting out in the M3 for me, insisting we take Rosalie's car, so he wouldn't miss her as much.
I unfortunately had to leave Bella alone with the rest of my family. Poor Bella. Well, I guess without Emmett, it wouldn't be half as bad.

I sighed again, then quickly kissed her lightly on the lips, always wanting more, but aware of our watching audience.

"Have fun!" she joked, knowing the next few hours would be pure hell for me.

Three obnoxious honks came from the garage. I rolled my eyes, and Jasper quietly chuckled to himself. His day with Emmett, wasn't for another three weeks. Jasper made no attempt to calm me, which I found terribly frusturating. Seriously, what happened to 'Family's stick together'?

Alice already had Bella up in her room ready for some kind of makeover. Poor Bella. Though I was curious to see what Alice would do with her this time, always pleased with the makeovers that she gave Bella. I headed for the door, in a slow human pace, realizing there was nothing more for me to do here, and that I might as well get it over with.

Before I opened the door, I looked back at them with pleading eyes. Rose snickered at me.

"Ohhhh EDDYKINZ!" Emmett shouted in an annoying high-pitched tone. "Eddy Come ONNNNN!"

Ugh. Eddykinz. Seriouly though, I have to blame Bella for that one. Ever since about a week ago while Bella was sleeping over, she was overly-talking in her sleep, and it may have accidentally slipped out a couple of times. Of course Emmett heard it, and I don't think I'll ever hear the end of it.

I shook my head and got in the passenger's side.

"Emmett?" I asked him irritated, trying to even up the score. "You do know this is a girl car, right?"

He paused.

It may be a girl's car. . .But damn do I look good driving it!

"Ugh!" I moaned, immediately shutting out his thoughts. Rosalie had deffinately been rubbing off on him.

I slouched down in my seat, knowing it would be a long trip.

There were three times that I was absolutely positive I was going to kill Emmett.

First, Emmett was only beginning to get on my nerves when he told me a story about his old dog Kippers, who apparenly liked to eat goldfish. That one went on forever.

Second, this time there was a part of me, and I didn't know how dominant that part might be, that wished him to go die in a hole. This was the time when he went off rode onto a farm- He drove into the cow pasture, knocking over all the cows like dominos with the car, hoopin' and hollorin' the whole time.

And third, I knew that I would unconditionally, unintentionally end up ripping his head off. Once we got into town and had to slow down to the limits, he cranked the radio up as loud as it would go. He rolled the window's down as well, playing his very favorite song. Sexyback. I mean, of course that's Emmett's favorite song, why wouldn't it be?! I slouched down in my seat even more as he began to dance. Girls were whistling from across the street at the stop light. Trust me, if I could blush, I would have been. And not in a good way. Their thoughts were so explicit, I threw my hands up to massage my temples. The images were that bad. I suddenly wondered if that's how Bella thought. I shook off the thought though right away, knowing that would not be something Bella would do.

"Shawty Shawty White Boy!" One whisteld. Emmett winked at her. See, that was the difference between me and him. He actually liked this kind of stuff. But, of course, that was Emmett for you.

Wait a minute. . .I thought Emmett was suppose to be the scary one. . .Oh god, what was he doing now?

He had his hand up to his ear like he was holding a cell phone, as in 'call me'. Rose wouldn't be to happy with that one.

I leaned over and slapped him.

The light turned green, and he slammed on the gass peddle, very annoyed now.

"Some guys just walk in the light," he murmured to himself under his breath.

Well, at least he's got somewhat of a personality since Bella's came. I'm not sure what you would've called it before. And now at least we know he's not gay. That's a relief. I know Esme was getting worried. . .

That, did me in. I threw open the car door, and Emmett slammed on the breaks.

"What?" He asked, with an all-to-innocent look on his face.

"I will meet you there Emmett," I hissed through my clenched teeth. "I'd rather walk if you don't mind."

He shrugged.

"Suit yourselft."

"Oh," I assured him. "It suits me."

As soon as I shut the door, he really hit the gass, and rolled down his windows again. This time, he was playing Untouched by the Veronicas. Ugh. I highly doubted he even knew what it meant. I bet knowing that, that is what it meant, he probably wouldn't like it at all. I smirked to myself about the talk I was going to have with Emmett later about simple meanings and terms 101.

I walked slowly along side the road, dreading where I was going, and wondered about what Bella was doing. I almost called her a couple of times, but I knew that only make me more depressed and want to go back home. Emmett was pissed enough already.

I declined the many rides that were offered to me on my way there. Unsurprisingly, they were all overly-friendly females. After I rejected, all of them gave me their numbers anyway. I wasn't mean enough to crumple their self-esteem though, so I simply told them I was meeting my wife somewhere.

I chuckled to myself darkly. Bella hadn't decided to marry me. Yet. But I couldn't help but call her my wife while I was out in public without her.

I knew she would hate that I was doing it behind her back, but was it really that bad? I still hadn't figured out why she wouldn't marry me, and that scared me.

When I finally arrived at the mall-Yuck. For some reason, Emmett had this strange addiction to shopping. . .I don't even want to know what brought that on, or want to know,- I found Emmett bouncing up and down on his tip- toes waving to me and calling my name like he was a five year old. So immature.

Emmett had what I like to call 'Peter Pan Syndrome'; He refused to grow up. I sighed, knowing that was probably the reason I loved him so much. As much as I probably will regret thinking this later, he's deffinately the best brother anyone could have. Sorry Jazz.

"Edward!" He called, still jumping up and down. Some girls giggled when they walked by as I approached him.

"Finally!" He yelled into my ear, giving me a great big hug.

Some guys whistled as they walked by us. "Ooooh, comin' outta the closet, 'eh boys?"

Emmett's face had them immediately running towards there car. That was the one thing I was jealous of him for. He deffinately knew of a few tricks for scaring humans.

"So," he asked excitedly as we walked in. "Where should we go first?"

Every human within 50 feet of us, froze for a breif second to take us in. A reflex reaction we got from all humans. Some eyes widened, either from fear or attraction. For the males, it was mostly fear and envy. For the females, it was always attraction.

"I was thinkin' Edward. . ." Emmett began, waving to some pass-byers as we sat down at a table. We would always sit down and discus game plan before we began to shop. Shopping deffinately wasn't for guys, but Emmett certainly made it interesting. "I was thinking that I wanted to get Bella a puppy!"

"A puppy, Em?" I asked, starting to question his sanity.

"Sure!" he laughed. "She seems like a dog kinda gal!"

I just looked at him and shook my head. "No, Em."

"Hmph," he said snobbishly. "I'm getting her a puppy. Plus, I wanna make her like me more!. . .I don't know, it just seems like everytime I'm around her. . .she just seems. . .annoyed. . ."

I gasped, full of sarcasm. "Really? Who would have thought. You, annoying?"

"I know right? I just don't get it."

Someone gets me atleast. At least Edward understands what I'm talking about.

I rolled my eyes, knowing that he didn't get that I was kidding before.

"What are you gonna get Bella?" He asked obnoxiously.

Bet he can't top a puppy, He thought smugly.

"Bella has issues with gifts from me," I told him curtly. I still hadn't figured out what her problem was about that yet.

He snikered. Sure, Rose had no problem with presents.

"I think you should get her something." He urged me.

"Yes, I know what you think Emmett!" I hissed at him, then tapped my finger to my head irritated.

"Well don't worry about it," He told me, patting me on the back as he stood up. "I'll help you."

I growled under my breath. Did I really need Emmett's help picking out a gift for Bella? No, no I didn't. I guess my only option was to go along with it and humor him.

Yay! Yay! This is gonna be soooooo much fun! Yay!

Now, I was really beginning to get concerned. Emmett was the tough, strong one. This had me a slight bit worried.

We went into a few stores already and I learned three new things about Emmett:

First, pink was not his color. No matter what the shade was, pink was deffinately out.

Second, Emmett is a winter. He's for sure, not a summer. Although, I think he should have already known it due to the fact of our unnaturally pale skin, and un-normal body temperatures!

And third, Emmett was very sensitive when you brought up his weight. That one should've surprised me I guess, but it didn't.

He was trying on a sweatsuit for our next baseball game. It was easily the most horendous thing he'd tried on so far, though I didn't come out and say it like I should have. Instead, I think I made things worse.

He had it on and walked out, spinning all around so I could see it at every angle. Trust me, one was enough.

"Uh, Em?" I asked warily, as I shook my head. "That color doesn't go well with your skin. . .And the pants, well, they kind of make your thighs look big."

He looked up at me, eyes getting real big. If he could cry, no doubt in my mind would he be crying right now. He stuck his bottom lip out just a bit, and it was trembling.

"Really?" His voice cracked. "Do you really mean that?"

For some reason, I instantally wanted to comfort him. He was a big teddy bear after all.

"I'm sorry, Emmett," I apologized. "That was mean. I shouldn't have said that."

Damn, I really liked that one too.

"It's okay Edward, at least you were being honest. Now I know not to buy it," he grinned weakly. I could tell he was still upset though. I'd make it up to him the rest of the trip.

I desperately tried to avoid any stores near Victoria's Secret. I knew that avoiding it was inevidable though, Emmett always found a way. What was he buying there anyways for cryin' out loud?

I refused to go in with him though. Nothing on the planet could have brought me into that store. . .Except Bella of course, but that was a different story. I sat on a bench outside the store for about a half hour till he finally came out with two huge bags in his hands and a huge smile across his face.

I looked at him puzzled, then stood up and was about to say something until I was interupted.

"Hello! I'm Cathy, the manager of Victoria's Secret!" An overly-happy strawberry blonde practically sang to us. She was mainly talking to me, though Emmett was the one listening, not me.

"We would like to extend our hand to you. And reach out to you, for you to take a job as our top male models! You two are just buckets of the sun!"

I chuckled. Interesting way of phrasing it. We were anything but that. Buckets of the sun? And I thought in my hundred years I had heard some bizzare stuff. That deffinately made my top ten. I started to shake my head but Emmett cut in.

"Why yes, we would love to!" His face lit up. "Tell us what to do, we'll even do some pictures right now!" He told her, smugly turning to look at me.

Hah. This will get him back for before. That'll teach 'em not to mess with Emmer's weight, He thought smugly.

What the hell? That's what this was about? And seriously, Emmers? I almost screamed out loud. I couldn't protest though, since apparently, Emmett was already signing some contract, for the both of us.

"Lovely!" Cathy cried, pulling us back into the store. Shoppers looked at us with shocked eyes, and started walking towards us. I tried pulling away as gentally as I could, without showing any hint of my inhuman strength.

". . .Wait. . ." She didn't hear me.

"I'm am going to kill you Emmett. When we get home, you will die," I hissed in his ear, too low for anyone else to hear my death threats.

I looked into Cathy's thoughts for a second and instantally regretted it. She was already picturing what she would put us in. The possibilities were endless, and horrifing. I hope Emmett relized that he had to do this too.

This was easily the most embaressing time of my life. It wasn't just the fact that every single female in the mall came to watch us, it also wasn't the clothes I was wearing, or the fact that I was half naked. It was because these pictures would most deffinately be all over. Bella would see these pictures.

Cathy was already calling up all her agents and bosses telling her about her find. I don't even think that what Emmett and I had on would be classified with actual clothes. What guy in the name of all that was holy would wear these?

I refused to pose with Emmett, I refused to smile, and I refused to do anything in that nature. They basically were just snapping shots of me, making me feel like I was getting my mug shots done. Emmett, of course, was loving every minute of this. Flaunting his goodies, as he called it. Disgusting.

Girls watching were taking cell phone pictures, and ooohing and awwwwwing. Ick, it didn't help that I was somewhat self-concious of my body. I was only wearing underwear after all.

A few times, I actually thought about just killing everybody in the store. It did sound like fun at the time, but Carlisle would most deffinately not approve, though I know Emmett would have found it to be a fun idea.

Rose is gonna love these. Emmett was thinking. I actually felt bad for Rosalie.

After they finally let us go, as we were walking out the door again, something dawned on me.

"Wait, you guys don't even have a men's line," I told Cathy, my eyes narrowing.

She laughed her high-pitched laugh and put her hand on my chest. I cringed away.

"You guys inspired us." She smiled, clearly trying to hard to be flirty.

. . .If they didn't have a men's line, where did they get-. . . .Oh god, Please no. Emmett and I were not just wearing girl's underwear.

I was already storming away.

"It was an honnor," I heard Emmett say, shaking her hand then running after me.

When he caught up, I turned to glare at him.

He's just jealous because I got more meat on me. He wishes he had my abs. He shouldn't be complaining though, he's got great legs. . . He was thinking.

Um, AWKWARD much?

"What?" He asked innocently. "That was fun."

I just shook my head and continued to glower at him.

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