Hinder

Lips Of An Angel

It's funny that you're calling me tonight

And yes I've dreamt of you too

Does he know you're talking to me?

Will it start a fight?

No I don't think she has a clue.

Well, my girls in the next room.

Sometimes I wish she was you.

I guess we never really moved on.

It's really good to hear your voice saying my name,

It sounds so sweet.

Coming from the lips of an angel,

Hearing those words

It makes me weak.

And I never wanna say goodbye

But girl you make it hard to be faithful

With the lips of an angel.

BPOV


"No," I growled. "There is no way I'm going to therapy, Mom. I wont do it."

"Bella, please. I don't even live in Forks and I can tell that you're in a major depression." she said gently. I wanted to crush my cell phone into a million pieces. My sweaty hand gripped the thing even tighter than I had been before, turning my knuckles alabaster.

It made me so angry. And not because my mom was requesting that I go to a professional for the second time in three months. It pissed me off because for the past three months I had been plastering on a smile and had put a ton of time and work into convincing both of my parents that I was going to be okay and that I wasn't certifiably insane. It pissed me off because all of my effort had gone to waste.

"This isn't healthy, Bella. You're lifeless. Dead. It's like you're a zombie." Ouch. "Your grades are dropping. You're losing weight. You don't sleep. And you walk around with your arms wrapped around yourself, like your trying not to fall apart on the spot. I just… I don't know what else to do." her voice wavered and cracked with tears.

Obviously, she was being prompted by Charlie. How else was she supposed to know that I was losing weight and that I didn't sleep? Or that I held my arms around my torso to try and soothe the edges of the gaping hole in my chest?

"Mom," I said firmly, "I. Am. Not. Going. To. Therapy. I…I'll spend some time with friends. I'll pay attention in class. Hell, I'll make gourmet meals every night and fatten myself up if it makes you feel better. But there is no way you can make me go to some shrink because I'm sad." I played with the sleeves of my long sleeved tee shirt.

"Bella, you've said that before. I think it's time we asked for a professional."

"No, Mom! I just need some time. Okay? Just give me a little more time." I begged, fighting the tears that were beginning to form.

"Maybe you can come and live with me and Phil in Florida! Oh, Bella, you would love it here. It's sunny, and we're right on the beach, and-" I cut off her incessant babbling with a firm "No. I wont do it."

"Fine, Bella. If you really think that time will help, than we'll take the time. Honey, just do what ever you have to do to get yourself better. And don't do it to make me happy. Do it for yourself." she sniffled. I let out a sigh. Thank God.

"Okay, Mom. I'll try, really, I will." I promised. "I love you."

"I love you too, Baby. Bye."

I hung up the phone without another word and collapsed onto my bed. I grabbed my pillow and crushed it to my face and let out the biggest scream into the down feathers. I hurled it at the wall, which knocked over a framed picture of me and my Mom at Disney Land. It landed with a satisfying crash as the glass splintered into a spider web shape. Then I just lay there, listening to the rain splatter onto my window, wondering how the hell I was going to get out of this one.

Obviously my mother wasn't letting this go. And for good reason. So I had to sort through a few things in my head, to figure out how to placate her into believing that I wasn't going crazy.

Jessica, the only real person that I actually wanted to go out with, hated my guts. Her and Lauren had made a very effective non-Bella schedule and followed it. Perfectly. And anyway, the only reason why I really wanted to hang out with Jessica is because she's so stupidly oblivious. She wouldn't care enough to try and dig down deep and get to the real problem of my depression. She would simply take the silence as an opportunity to gossip and run her mouth, while all I had to do was sit back and relax while my parents thought that I was getting better. But unfortunately, she was off the list of how-to-decrazify-Bella. Damn.

I didn't want to deal with Angela- and not because I didn't like her, but because she cared. Because she wouldn't use my silence to her advantage, and she would try to help me, and I would shut her out. And then I would completely ruin what bond we had, and that just wasn't an option.

I couldn't ask Mike to go out for the night with me for obvious reasons. The whole time it would be nothing but him trying moves on how to get his tongue down my throat or getting into my pants.

Jeez, I really should have made a lot more friends when I first got to Forks. It's times like these when I wished that I had more than two loyal companions. Well, Mike didn't really count as loyal, but if I knocked him off the list then that left me with only Angela, and that made me feel even more pathetic than I already was.

Suddenly there was a knock on my door.

"Yeah?" I answered flatly. I quickly changed my tone, deciding that I had better at least pretend to be chipper or I was really getting sent off to a shrink. Charlie opened my door and stood in the doorway.

"Did you speak to your mother?" he asked cautiously. I rolled my eyes internally and spread a sugary sweet smile.

"Yup. Everything is going to be fine." I answered.

"That's great, Bells. So do you know when you are starting therapy?" he asked casually, leaning up against my door frame. My smile fell flat off of my face and I narrowed my eyes.

"I'm not starting therapy. Renee believes me when I say I don't need the help of some one else and that I can do it myself." I had to bite my tongue so I wouldn't snap out a "thank you very much." Charlie's ears reddened.

"Oh. Well, then, what ever works. It's just… I can't bear to see you like that, Bella. It hurts me. Makes me feel like I'm not doing right as a father." he grumbled the last part, and frowned. My face softened, and so did my tone.

"Oh, Dad, you're doing a fine job of being a father. Honest. It's not your fault that… certain people… can't keep promises." I ground my teeth to keep from whimpering at the pain in my chest, at the feeling of pure abandonment and betrayal.

"I know. I'm being irrational, aren't I?" he gave me a ghost of a smile.

"Only a little." I offered, and grinned back.

"Alright, well, I'm going fishing with Billy. He says the trout are getting really big." he told me, and then pulled on the waterproof vest that he was holding in his hand. Billy! Oh, why didn't I think of it before? I thought. Of course! I had to physically stop myself from slapping my forehead for being so stupid.

"Um, do you mind if I ride down there with you?" I asked, swinging my legs off of the bed. I stretched my arms above my head and yanked my hair back into a sloppy pony tail.

"You… you want to come fishing with us?" his eyebrows furrowed in confusion, knowing from past experiences that I hated fishing with a fiery burning passion. I shook my head no, quickly.

"No, no. I, uh, I want to go see Jacob." I clarified. "You have to stop at Billy's anyways, right? To pick him up? Can you just drop me there and then be on your way?"

"Yeah, I do. Okay, yeah, sure. Um, get your shoes on. We're leaving in five." he nodded, still shocked at my sudden urgency at actually getting out of the house. Then he turned on the heel of his boot and trudged down the stairs.

"Got it." I called down. My smile dropped as soon as I was sure Charlie wasn't coming back any time soon. God, this is going to be exhausting, trying to keep this happy-go-lucky crap up. I sighed and laced up my tennis shoes, and then donned my black jacket.

"Bella?" Charlie called, a few minutes later, from the front door. "Ready?"

"Yeah, Dad." I answered, clomping down the stairs.

"I, uh, I called Billy. You know, to tell him to tell Jacob you were stopping by." he said quietly. I stared at him blankly, wondering what the point of him telling me this was.

"O…kay then. Out we go." he muttered awkwardly and opened the door for me. It had stopped raining, thankfully, and now it was just windy and humid. It was still at least eighty degrees out. Fork's weather is so bipolar. I thought to myself, and sat in the cruiser.

We rode in silence, with Charlie stealing some what worried glances my way.

"What?" I finally asked.

"Nothing. I'm just a little surprised that you all of a sudden want to get out." he admitted, keeping his eyes on the road and ignoring my glare.

"Why is it such a shock to you?" I demanded sharply.

"Because, Bella, ever since that boy up and left you've been a wreck." he snapped back just as harsh. I cringed and tightened my arms around myself. God, maybe I really do need a shrink. I cant even stand to have someone else talk about him and be in the same room. I took a deep breath and tried not to let the agony show in my voice.

"Please. Don't… don't talk about… him. Please." I begged in a whisper. Charlie sighed.

"This is what I'm talking about, Bella. He was just some douche- pardon my language. I don't see why you're so heartbroken."

I bit my lip to keep from crying; hard enough to draw blood. I swallowed, and shook my head to clear it.

"Charlie, stop. You just don't understand, and you never will. So don't try. Just realize that I'm trying to get better, that I'm trying to be happy for every ones sake. Okay?" I didn't say it in a snappish tone, I said it like it was the truth. Because it was. No one, no one, would ever understand. Except me. And how could they? How could I even start to explain? I'm depressed because the love of my life, who, by the way, is a vegetarian vampire, left me because I'm not strong enough or fast enough or beautiful enough or don't sparkle enough for him. If they thought I needed therapy now….

"Okay, Bella. Alright." he said, trying to calm me before the water works started. I took a deep breath and nodded. Then he turned a corner and pulled up to the familiar little red house. The front door swung open and Jacob came bounding down the steps that led up to his house. I stepped out of the cruiser.

"Hey, look who made it out from under her rock." he joked, jogging up to where I was standing. I forced a little laugh, but it sort of sounded like I was choking

"Hi." I said quietly.

"Well, come over here and give me a hug." he smiled, his teeth holding major contrast to his russet skin. I stepped into his open arms and lightly patted his back with my right hand. The warmth of his arms was foreign to me, and comforting in an odd way. He pulled away and gave me another smile.

"Come on, let's go down to the beach." he said, starting toward the sound of crashing waves.

"Um, okay. Bye, Dad."

"Bye, kids. Have fun. We'll be back in time for dinner." he called. I nodded and waved once, and then turned my back and jogged lightly to catch up with Jacob, because he was at least two yards away already. I didn't turn around again.

Jacob POV

- - - - -

Holy shit.

That was the first thought that crossed my mind when I saw her as I opened up the front door and walked down the steps. She was way too skinny, and she looked like the wind blowing could simply blow her away if her shoes had not weighed her down some. Beneath dull, lifeless eyes were deep, indigo half moons, and she held her arms wrapped around her torso like she was cold. She was paler than I remembered. It was like someone had sucked the life out of the happy, shy, blushing girl that I had once known and had left the rest of her to wander.

And she was still the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

I smiled at her and waved, jogging over to meet her.

"Hey, look who finally made it out from under her rock." I said playfully, trying to make her smile. She gave me a small sound that sounded sort of like laughter- if the laughing person was on death's doorstep.

"Hi." she greeted in a tiny voice, giving me a small wave, and then just stood there awkwardly.

"Well, come over here and give me a hug." I said finally, opening my arms and smiling. She stepped into them and sort of hugged me back. She was so cold; I could feel her icy fingers patting my back through my T-shirt. And small. She was so small. I gave her another smile as I pulled away and began walking.

"Come on, let's go down to the beach." I offered.

"Um, okay. Bye, Dad." she agreed quietly and jogged after me. Charlie said something else, but I wasn't paying attention. I was paying more attention to the girl at my side, to the silence that surrounded us like a purple rain cloud.

I cleared my throat to speak, but she beat me to it.

"I didn't bring a bathing suit." she told me in a voice that was almost like a whisper. It took me a moment to realize that she said this because we were going to the beach.

"Oh, no, that's fine. I mean, I wasn't planning on swimming anyways. The water gets really cold when it rains. Even though it's pretty warm out. Which doesn't really make sense, I know. But, I guess that's just how nature works, right? Well, you know what I mean." I realized I was babbling and got a grip on myself.

"Yeah. I do." she said in her soft trill. I rubbed the back of my neck.

"So… how, uh, how've you been?" I asked, trying to fill the silence.

"Fine." she answered simply. "You?"

"Oh, I've been good. Nothing like being a sophomore. The golden days." I said, nodding my head. The golden days? Where the hell did that come from? Why am I so nervous? I thought.

"Um, yeah." she nodded, and gave me a weird look. God, I am such a dork.

"How's…. Charlie?" I asked, trying to keep conversation up. "And your mom… Roberta, right?"

"Renee." she corrected me gently. God, her voice was so quiet. It was a strain just to be able to hear her, and we weren't three feet apart. "They're good, I guess. Worried." she added after a moment.

"About what?" I asked, even though I was pretty sure I knew why. Ever since the Cullens had left without a single goodbye, Billy had been telling me all about how Charlie was worried about Bella. But I had figured that Charlie was just over reacting to having a teenage girl who'd just had her boyfriend dump her. Now, only being with her for ten minutes, I could see why he was stressing. She was a mess. A depressed, heartbroken, beautiful mess. Her voice dropped even lower, so low that I wasn't entirely sure that I had heard her correctly.

"They think I'm not handling… some things… well." she sounded like could barely get the words out, so I dropped the subject and searched for a new topic.

"Do you like Forks?" I asked. It was the first thing that popped into my mind.

"I don't really have a choice, do I?" she muttered.

"Of course you do. You could always move in with Renee, if you didn't like it here."

"I… I didn't mean it like I don't like Forks. I do." she said after some thought.

"Oh." I said lamely.

By now we had reached the beach. The water was gray, blending in with the sky. Waves crashed gently onto the shoreline, dragging seashells and seaweed along with them as they pushed and pulled in synchronization.

I sat down in the soft sand, and Bella followed suit, bringing her knees up to her chin. She stared off into space for a long minute, and then abruptly snapped out of it.

"I'm really sorry, Jacob." she blurted suddenly.

"Excuse me?" I asked, confused.

"I know I'm probably a pain to deal with." she said, frowning slightly.

"I don't understand." I said.

"I'm not the most joyful person on the planet, I don't like music, and I always get lost in my thoughts. I'm boring. Bland. Dull. I'm not special in any way, and I'm sorry that it's me what your stuck with." she admitted, avoiding my gaze and playing with her sleeves. Frankly, I was shocked. It was the most she had said throughout the entire conversation.

My tone softened. "You're not a pain. You're just quiet. I don't care for music much either, if that makes you feel any better. As for the thoughts thing, well, I like having a few minutes to think about things sometimes myself. I don't mind being stuck with you at all."

Her cheeks turned the most perfect shade of pink, and for a minute she looked almost normal again. She looked up at me and met my eyes, and then her lips pulled up at the corners, just a tiny bit.

"Thanks." she said in her soft, quiet voice.

"No need to thank me. It's the truth."

Suddenly the sun broke through the clouds, and, though it was still overcast, the world transformed. The water turned from gray to a brilliant blue, the tree's from dull green to emerald, and Bella's locks from flat brown to shimmering auburn, with red and blonde natural highlights.. Then the wind picked up, causing my own hair to whip around my face, stinging my eyes.

"Do you want to take a walk?" she offered.

"Sure. It just suddenly got very pretty outside." she gave me her little ghost of a smile again and stuffed her hands in her jacket pockets.

"How old are you, Jacob?" she asked after some silence.

"I'm sixteen." I answered.

"Seriously?"

I nodded. She seemed shocked that I was so young, and I tried not to let that go to my head.

"Do you play sports?" I asked her, kicking pebbles as we walked along the sand. She gave me a look like I was insane.

"Um, definitely not. I would end up hurting myself and everyone on my team if I even attempted." she said honestly. I could see that she wasn't joking.

"Oh, well, in that case, we aren't going to play any pool with you." I teased.

As the day went on, Bella became more and more comfortable around me. While her voice was still soft and hesitant, her sentences became longer, more than just a few words and syllables, and she began to start up conversations on her own. Her voice became slightly more animated, and she spoke more freely. It wasn't as if she was shy around me anymore, as she had been in the beginning. She became more open, and I took the opportunity to attempt to be closer to her. She even gave me a real smile after a few hours. She only gave me one, but it was more than I had even asked for.

When Billy and Charlie came back from the trip, Charlie quickly grilled up a few fish that they had caught and we ate outside in a small circle. After a while, Charlie got to telling stories about the fishing trip, and ones of the past, with Billy filling in parts when Charlie was laughing to hard to talk. They were all great, and I laughed along with a few, but every time I glanced over at Bella she was staring off into space and playing with her fish and rice, a blank look on her face. When I came around to collect plates and wash them, I saw that hers was still filled; only a couple of bites missing.

"Not hungry?" I asked, taking her dish and setting it on top of the three other plates. She stared at her feet and shrugged. "Come with me inside?" I asked. She nodded and, still focusing intently on her sneakers, walked with me up and into the house.

"You wash, I'll dry." she offered. I nodded and we began work silently. We didn't say another word until it was time for goodbye's.

"Will I see you again any time soon?" I asked, trying to sound hopeful.

"You can count on it. I'll be back tomorrow." she promised in her soft voice. I let her see the pleasantly surprised smile on my face, She gave me a fast hug, and then stepped into the cruiser.

"Goodbye, Charlie. Bella." I said, and then shut Bella's door for her.

"Bye, Jacob." Charlie said at the same time Bella had, through the open window. I watched as they pulled out of the drive and turned the corner.

"See you soon." I added.

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(A/N): Okay, so this is my first story with no Edward, so Im really excited to see what you think about it. I have worked really hard, and I would really appreciate it if you took the time and reviewed! Each and every review will be replied to, and they all really make my day.