Title: Showdown at the DDA's Office
Author: sofia-lindsay
Fandom: Women's Murder Club
Pairing: Jill/Lindsay, Jill/Denise
Disclaimer- As always, if I owned the characters, we'd be watching instead of reading.
Rating: M
Summary: "Linds, my eyes are up here."
AN: Thanks to darkbardzero for the inspiration and for being an awesome beta! This is fluff, stemming from a dream I had were Lindsay shot Denise. It's fluff, and might turn into a few more short fluff fics later.
Lindsay heard the rather odd noise coming from her blonde friend's office, and instinctively pulled her service weapon from its holster. The courthouse was empty this late on Friday nights, and noises were generally a bad sign. Moving closer, she paused for a second when she heard a strangled-sounding noise come from Jill, then quickly pushed the door open and… froze in her tracks.
"Jill. What the fuck is going on in here?!"
It was a purely rhetorical question, as the inspector had a very clear view of what was going on in the lawyer's office. Jill, leaning back in her chair with her slacks kicked hazardously to one side, had a female lover kneeling between her legs. From Jill's expression, Lindsay had a good idea the lover was not a novice, but she couldn't help but think the back of that head looked familiar.
Jill's head snapped up, but she made no attempt to move the head that she had forced between her legs, instead choosing to fist the hair tighter.
"Jesus Christ Lindsay! I know it's been a while since you got laid, but you would think you would still recognize the sight of it! Now GET OUT!!"
Lindsay stared as Jill's actions caused her lover to turn, distracted from her task and more than a little pissed at the interruption, thus leaving Jill's intimate area open for public viewing. The inspector's mouth felt dry suddenly, until she realized whom the blonde had taken for a lover.
"AH!! My eyes!! My eyes!! Jill!!"
"Well stop staring at my pussy then Linds!" Jill replied dully.
"It's not that…that looks fine, actually. But... I thought you had taste Jill! But Denise? Of all people… Denise?!"
Lindsay actually hadn't taken her eyes off of the area in question since it became available for viewing, and Jill was amused.
"Linds, my eyes are up here. Now, you know I date women. That includes having sex with them. You do remember what sex is, right?" Upon seeing Lindsay glare at her, she continued, "Good, now will you please get out so I can come sometime tonight?"
Lindsay's eyebrow arched in that way only she could. There was no way in hell she was about to let Denise finish doing whatever it was she was doing earlier, to Jill.
"NO! Jill, if you want girl-on-girl action, then come home with me tonight!"
Jill's jaw dropped, and Denise sighed. Well, there went the mood for the night.
"Lindsay, you're straight."
"Who says?"
"Um...you did. Last time we had a few drinks and I hit on you."
Lindsay blushed, "Oh yeah. That was when you were with what's-his-face, and I thought I was pregnant by Tom."
"There ya go Linds. You were pregnant by your ex-husband… you're straight."
Even Jill couldn't follow her own logic on that one, and could tell by the look on the inspector's face, she was at a loss as well.
"Sure Jill. That makes me straight. And I just wear shirts that give you a free view of my cleavage for the hell of it! And why the hell do you think I'm always leaning over you!?"
"That's it. Inspector Boxer, please leave. Jill and I are working on cases, and I would like to finish as quickly as possible."
Denise's voice cut in, and for once, Lindsay wished being a pain in the ass was a valid reason to shoot someone. "Get lost Denise. This doesn't involve you."
"On the contrary, this does involve me. In the case of State v. Famber…."
"Shut the fuck up, you oversized, walking law book! And get the fuck out of Jill's office. While you're citing court cases, how about citing this: Boxer v. Bernhardt and the case of the missing handcuffs?"
Silence filled the room as Denise flinched, Jill gulped (and tried to keep from squirming in her chair) and Lindsay had a satisfied smirk on her face. As Denise made her way to leave, Lindsay added one last parting shot.
"Oh and Denise? If I ever see your face that close to her again, I have a gun for a reason. And there's a reason we're called the "Women's Murder Club."