F.R.I.E.N.D.S – Season 11

The One with the Empty Apartment

[Scene: Central Perk. Monica, Rachel, Phoebe, Joey, Ross, Chandler, and Mike are sitting on the couches]

Joey: Oh my god!
Monica: I know!
Phoebe: So, you guys are moving away and you want your last conversation to be about me sleeping with Monica's ex-boyfriend Jason Hurley?
Mike: A little uncomfortable here!

Rachel: Well, there's nothing else to talk about.

Long pause.

Joey: I'm thinking of buying a bunny rabbit!

Opening Sequence

[Scene: Outside Central Perk. Rachel, Phoebe, Mike, Joey and Ross are waving goodbye to Monica, Chandler, Jack and Erica.]

Phoebe: Bye you guys!
Joey: Have fun!
Ross: See you soon!
Chandler: We'll call you when we get there.

Rachel: Well make sure Monica calls us because she's more fun.

Monica and Chandler drive off.

Ross: Hey, Rach, I was wondering, do you wanna maybe go out tonight?
Rachel: OK, I guess there's no harm in that.

Ross: Where do you wanna go?
Rachel: Well, there's this movie I've been dying to see, so we could go to that.

Ross: Sure.

Rachel: Oh but there is a new restaurant opening. Oh god, restaurant or movie. Restaurant or movie. Restaurant or movie?
Ross: Take your time!

[Scene: Joey's Apartment. Joey arrives.]

Joey: Time for my nap.

Joey walks into his bedroom, only to see two chicks on his bed. He screams, and runs out of the room.

[Scene: Phoebe and Mike's Apartment. Phoebe and Mike are sitting down, watching TV, when Joey runs in.]

Phoebe: Joey? What are you doing here?
Joey: I ran so fast. The chick and the duck had chicks!
Mike: I thought you gave the chicks to Chandler.

Joey: I know!

Phoebe: Well, if you want to be peaceful for a bit, go lie down on our bed.

Joey: Okay then.

Joey walks into Phoebe and Mike's bedroom, only to see the chick and the duck on their bed. He screams again, and runs to Phoebe and Mike.

Mike: What happened?
Joey: The chick and the duck are on your bed!
Phoebe: Oh yea, Chandler didn't want them.

[Scene: The corridor which you walk through to go to Monica and Chandler's old apartment, and Joey's apartment. A young blonde girl walks through the door, with Mr. Treeger.]

Young Blonde Girl: Thanks for the keys. I'm Jessica, the new girl.

Treeger: Well, it's a lovely place. You should get settled in.

Treeger walks off. We see Joey running back to his apartment. He spots Jessica.

Joey: Yowza!
Jessica: Hi. We haven't met. I'm Jessica, I'm moving into this apartment.

Joey: Hi, I'm Joey. I was great friends with the people who just moved out. Hey, are you single? Because, if I went out with you, it's not like I could sleep with you then cut you off because you're right across the hall from me.

Jessica: I sure am. Hey, do you wanna go out tonight?
Joey: Sure thing.

Jessica: And, just out of interest, you don't really do the whole sleep with me and then cut me off to other people do you?

Joey: No, no. I was just joking.

Commercial Break

[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe and Mike are on the couches. Joey and Jessica walk in.]

Jessica: Thanks for the tour, Joey. It was wonderful.

Mike gets a startled face.

Mike: Oh, dear god, no.

Phoebe: What?

Jessica: Mike?

Mike: Jessica?
Mike and Jessica hug.

Phoebe: You guys know each other?

Jessica: Well, we used to date.

Mike: And we ended on 'good' terms.

Jessica: How's Bitsy?
Mike: She's great. She misses you.

Jessica: Oh, how nice. Well, I should get packing in my new house!

Jessica exits.

Mike: Wait, she's not moving into Mon and Chan's old place is she?
Joey: She sure is! And I am so gonna ask her out!
Mike: Wait a minute! Don't do that!

Joey: Why not?
Mike: Because she is a dangerous creature.

Mike carries on talking, but he becomes inaudible. The cameras zoom in on Joey as we listen to his thoughts.

Joey (in his head): Blah, blah, blah. So what? She's hot! She loves the Joester!

[Scene: Cinema. Rachel is crying on Ross' lap.]

Rachel: It's so sad! They are meant to be together!
Ross: I know! Why did it end out this way?
Male Character in Movie: But Melissa. I thought we were on a break!
Rachel: Oh god.

Female Character in Movie: But Mark, that gave you no right to do such thing!
Ross: Oh god.

Long pause.

Ross: WE WERE ON A BREAK!

Closing Credits

[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel and Ross are on couches.]

Rachel: I cannot talk to you right now, Ross, I just can't.

Ross: But Rach, I did have the right to do such thing!
Rachel: Maybe we should split up.

Ross: Or take a break, I guess.

Monica and Chandler walk in.

Rachel: Oh my god!
Ross: What are you doing here?
Monica: Well, we've been doing a lot of thinking.

Chandler: And Westchester isn't as homely as we thought it was.

Monica: We want to move back to New York!
Applause from crowd. Show ends.