Breathe the Last Breath
By: Princez_of_Fantasys
DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN SAILORMOON SO SM FANS: HA! YOU CAN'T SUE ME!!! YOU CAN'T SUE ME!!!
Summary: It's hard for Serena Tsukino and her mother, Ilene to accept the doctors' diagnosis: Serena is HIV positive. Seven years ago, before blood screening was required, Serena received a transfusion. It saved her life then, but now the harsh reality can't be changed-the blood was tainted. She plans to spend the summer in Colorado, before her days end. The summer seems even better than she dreamed, especially after she meets Darien. Serena doesn't plan to tell Darien about her condition. Then her health problems deteriorate and she returns home. Subsequently, an anonymous benefactor grants Serena one wish, with no strings attached. She decides to use the money for Darien to travel to Tokyo and see her. But times running out! Is there time for Serena and Darien to meet again?
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"Serena, how's the view so far?" her mother eagerly asked
Serena put down her things and smiled. "I haven't seen much yet, we just got here an hour ago!"
Ilene Tsukino walked to Serena's bed and sat. "I haven't seen that smile in ages!" Serena grinned. "Don't worry, you'll see it for the rest of the summer."
"Okay." Ilene eyed Serena's clothing and stared wide eyed. She had stacks and stacks of clothes. "My, did you bring your entire closet along?" she laughed.
"Nope, these are just the usual." Serena answered teasingly. Serena stopped. "I want to look at the view then come back packing." She headed out the door.
"Well, make sure you don't get lost! And come back for supper!" Ilene shouted.
"'Kay!" Serena answered.
Serena breathed in the lush sweet smell of grass. Mmm… She lifted her head and closed her eyes. The sun was beautiful. They don't have this type of stuff back home… Serena shook her head. Thinking of home made her think of that hospital in Tokyo. The doctors told her in April that she was dying…
Months before, Serena felt different. Always tired, her vision blurred during concentration, she always had no appetite, and was losing weight. Eventually, her mother was concerned and told her to go to a checkup at Tokyo Hospital. She refused, but found herself waiting in the Waiting Room for the nurse to call her name. "Serena Tsukino?" the nurse asked. Serena and Ilene stood up. "Come this way," the nurse directed. She took them into a room with painted white walls, several awards on one side of a wall, a desk, chair, and several things. "Dr. Fuji will be right with you." The nurse told them. Those words were the last she heard, 2 hours ago. Now her mother and her were facing two men. A Japanese brown haired man, with silver rimmed glasses, blue shirt and black pants, as well as a lab coat with a stethoscope around his neck. And the other, wearing a lab coat, brown pants, gray shirt, and was known as Dr. Jefferson Shiko was holding Serena's charts. Serena could tell that they had serious expressions. Ilene noticed too. "I-is there something wrong doctor?" Dr. Fuji sat in his chair. "Um, Serena, I want you to answer a few of my questions. They may seem odd, but answer them truthfully." Serena couldn't control her voice so she nodded.
"Do you have a boyfriend?" he asked. Serena still couldn't control her voice. She shook her head.
"What's this got to do with her medical problems?" Ilene asked. "Tell us the results of those tests you did."
"As a hematologist, I specialize in the diseases of the blood."
Serena found her voice. "Do I have cancer?" she asked cautiously. She knew leukemia was a blood disease.
"No," he said, giving her a moment of relief. "But according to your tests, you're HIV-positive."
"Are you saying that my daughter has AIDS?" Serena's mother asked. She pulled Serena and held her tightly. "That's truly impossible!"
Again, Serena was so shocked that she didn't speak.
A horse's hooves brought her back to reality. She saw the horse run swiftly across the grass. It was like a picture in a book. Then she made a confused look. What's a horse doing all the way in Colorado? She ran toward the horse. Halfway there, she saw the horse grazing at some grass. When the horse noticed Serena, it was frightened. Serena let out her hand. "Shh. I won't hurt you." Serena said calmly.
"What do you think you're doing to my horse?" a male voice asked. The voice startled Serena.
"I-I was just tr-trying to pet the horse. That's all." Serena stammered.
The male had dark hair, blue eyes, and seemed angry. "Well, don't do it to my horse." He said in an angry way.
What a jerk!
"Fine. Don't need your Colorado stinkin' horse!" Serena snapped. She knew it wasn't the horse's fault.
As if reading her mind, he said, "He's not Colorado, and don't bring the horse into this!" he snapped back.
This made her furious! How dare he snap her back! The only one's who could do that were her parents and her 'enemy' friend, Rei.
"Besides," he continued, "My horse doesn't like being petted by a yellow meatball headed girl!"
"Well, your horse stinks anyway!"
"Actually, he smells great!" he sniffed his horse. Then he pinched his nose. "I think you're the one who stinks!"
Serena couldn't take it anymore. She turned around and stormed back towards her cabin. That's when she noticed that he chuckled. I don't need this lowlife to spend my vacation! Though she had to admit, she liked the horse and the guy's voice.
When Serena got home, she slammed the door. Her mother popped her head out of the kitchen. "Back so early?" she asked.
"Ruined by a-oh, just forget it! No one needs him anyway. I bet he had no home so when he took a shower, he had to use hay to clean off the water!" she mumbled.
Ilene followed Serena to her room.
"Honey, what's wrong? Boy problem?" she teased.
"Not a boy, a jerk!"
"You know, I used to have that attitude when your father and I met." Her mother said, thinking about the past.
"Well, mom, sit and talk!" Serena replied excited. She always wants to hear about her father and mother's love life. Especially since he died when she was a few years old. And because it was romantic.
Her mother sat and began…
"Well, when we met, we were in college. We were in the Tokyo College. I was usually the quiet type and your father was the group type. He was athletic. I used to think that we would never get along since he was in the 'in crowd'. One day, I noticed that he was following me whichever class I went to. Finally, it was after school.
"Uh, Ilene?"
"Yeah?"
"I noticed that every time you walked, it looked like the chicken dance,"
"What?!"
"And you wear big black goofy glasses."
"Ugh! Well, for your information, these glasses are not big, or goofy! Everyone in America wears them!"
I was so angry I stormed off. I vowed never to see him again…"
Ilene sighed.
"Then I realized that he teased me because his friends dared him to. I felt sorry for him, so we started dating and it lead to marriage."
"Mom, that was beautiful." Serena had that dreamy look in her eye.
"You call teasing beautiful?" Ilene asked, confused.
"No, I meant about the part of dating and marriage. I wish I had a decent man like dad."
"Well, you'll find one. You have a whole life to think about!" Ilene knew she said something bad. Serena chuckled. "Yeah, I guess so..." I hope so...
The next morning, the aroma in the kitchen awakened Serena.
"Morning, mom!" Serena shouted.
"Morning! Want some eggs and bacons?" Ilene asked
Serena bounded down the stairs. "Do I ever!"
Serena grabbed her plate and began eating.
"My, you sure do look hungry!" her mother laughed
"Yep! Today, I'm going to this park where you can see a waterfall. Wanna come? We could have a picnic!" Serena exclaimed.
"Sure! It's been a long time since we spent time together."
That afternoon, Serena and Ilene drove to the Colorado hiking park. (*For those interested or reading the story, I made that up! *) They sat on a spot in the sun. The water was clear and beautiful.
Serena and Ilene hiked on a trail to get a closer look at the waterfall. Ilene felt relaxed and kept going. Serena, on the other hand was slowing down.
"Mom," Serena panted. "H-how can I keep up if you walk so fast?"
"C'mon, Serena, it gets the muscle trained."
"Yeah, and by that time, I'll be as old as a witch."
When they got there, they took pictures. At least the trip's worth it! Serena thought as she admired the crisp falls of the water. When they got back to their picnic spot, they began to eat lunch. Serena was staring at the food.
"Are you planning to invite people for a barbecue mom? Because I could---"
"Relax, Serena. I know you love eating, so, I brought extra food."
"Extra food? It's like you brought food fit for kings to me!"
As Serena was eating a sandwich, she went down to the pond. She put her feet in the cold clear water. She then stood on a high cliff with her mother and let her hair down. It was gleaming like the radiant sun on a bright morning. She didn't see the guy that she bumped into the first day she went to Colorado. He was watching the water when Serena's hair caught his eye. How beautiful… he thought. No, city girls are always…but she has the bluest eyes I ever saw… he imagined his lips in hers, tender and sweet, like birds chirping together to make a song…
Serena noticed the guy staring at her. She didn't tell Ilene because she didn't want to make a scene. What was he staring at?
Around 6:oo, Serena and Ilene packed their picnic. "Was it fun?" Ilene asked. "Yes. I wish dad was hear to see this."
"I think he did, since he's in heaven and looks down on us."
Thinking about Ken Tsukino made the car seem silent. Although Serena never knew him, she had clips of the past. The way he held her in his arms, the way he used to swing her around in the playground with their old dog, Kuri…
Back at the cabin, Serena went outside for fresh air. Really hoping to see the guy again. To her luck, she did. He was grooming the horse. She went over to him.
"Oh, look who it is, Meatball head."
"Since when did you call me that?"
"Since now." He grinned
"Well, for your information, I came to say sorry to your horse, not you." She turned to his horse and said, "Sorry, for bringing you into the conversation with this jerk."
"And since when did you call me a jerk?" he asked.
"Since you were born. God knew you'd be a jerk and look, you are."
"I'm not stuck-up like you." He folded his arms.
"Well--" she stopped and frowned. "What's your name?"
He was surprised he asked her that.
"Darien. Darien Shields."
"Well, Darien Shields, I am not a meatball head. If you did call me that, I could easily pulverize you to the face of this earth!"
"What's your name?" he asked.
"Serena Tsukino."
"Well, Serena Tsukino, I am not a jerk either. And if I were you I'd get away before someone like me takes your hair and digs it in the dirt!" He made a triumphant expression.
She glared at him. "You wouldn't dare!"
"Try me."
She stomped off toward her cabin and imagined a big bulldozer scooping Darien up and threw him halfway around the world until Chinese people found him and left him dying.
Don't think that word! Don't say dying!!! It's a nightmare! A complete nightmare!!!!!
"Serena! Serena help me! Help!" a voice called out.
"I'm coming daddy! I'm coming!" Serena cried. The closer she got to her father, the farther he drifted away.
"Daddy! No! Don't leave!" Serena was connected to an IV unit and was trying to break free from the wires.
"I won't! I'll always love you and mommy! I love you!" Ken waved good-bye
"No! No! Please stay! I need you!" Serena cried once more. Ken disappeared.
"NOOO!!!!"
Serena awoke from her dream, sweaty. She got out of bed and felt dizzy. She opened her bathroom door and opened her light. It was bright and caused Serena's eyes to squint. She turned the water faucet on cold. She splashed some water on her face. She looked in the mirror. Her face was wet and pale. I think I'm sick...
The next morning, Serena tried to get out of bed. Oh, great! I feel woozy and nauscious. Just great to start off my vacation! Serena then heard a knock at the door. "Come in.," she answered. She barely shouted.
"Honey, you feeling okay?" Ilene held up a tray with food. "I checked your temperature. I guess you have a fever." She brought the plate to Serena's bed. She then put her hand on Serena's head. "Well, you're still hot."
"Mom, I had this weird dream last night."
"What about?" Ilene started to stir Serena's soup.
"Dad."
Ilene stopped stirring. She then looked concerned and interested.
"I was connected to some wires on an IV machine and Dad started to call for help. I tried to reach him, but he started to drift. Then he said that he loved us no matter where he was. I think he's trying to tell us something, mom." Serena stared at her mother's expression.
Ilene tried to play the scene in her mind. "Well, we both love your father no matter. So I think he's trying to say that no matter what he's doing or where he is, he's with us all the way. Especially because of your HIV."
The room then became silent. They didn't talk. Ilene wondered about Ken, and Serena wondered about her deadly disease...HIV.
A few days later, Serena felt better and decided to tease Darien again. Hopeful that he'd learn some manners by now.
"Hey, Meatball head!" Darien shouted. He saw Serena pet his horse, Golden Light.
Serena ignored him and started to pet Golden Light again.
Darien ran toward her. "Watcha doing here?"
Serena stopped petting and turned toward him. "Came here just to see your horse. What's his name by the way?"
"Golden Light."
"Nice name." She glanced at Golden Light.
"Well, where are you going afterwards?"
"Dunno. Anywhere. Why?" She stared at him again, squinting at the light of the sun.
Darien didn't know how to answer. "Just curious. Don't want you city girls bothering the nature of the country."
"Oh, please." she waved her hand. "I saw you staring at me when I went to the falls."
Darien didn't reply.
Serena sighed. "Bye Golden Light! See you." She started to walk away.
"W-wait!" Darien didn't even know those words shot out of his mouth.
Serena turned around, making Serena think she was a model or something with her long yellow hair. "What?"
Darien jogged toward her. "I guess we didn't get a good start the first time. Can you come to the falls tomorrow with me? I have nothing against you city girls."
Serena was shocked. "I-is that like, a date or something?"
"Yeah, guess so."
"I'd go, but it can't be a date."
"What? Why?"
"I-I can't say. I have my reasons."
"Fine. Then we'll at least be friends?" he asked, taking out his hand.
"Friends." Serena held out hers and shook his.
"Alright. 9:00 tomorrow night then. Fine with you?"
"Yeah. Bye!" Serena started toward her cabin.
"Bye." After she disappeared, he said to himself, "Friends."
The next night at nine, Darien came to Serena's house for the first time. She told Ilene about him. "Yup, sounds a lot like Ken," Ilene added.
"Ready to go?" Darien asked, opening the door. Serena had worn her blue jeans, a lacy white shirt as well as a jacket. Darien wore a black jean jacket, with blue jeans and boots.
"Yeah," Serena walked past him, replying. They walked toward a cabin. "Is this your house?" Serena asked.
"Actually, it's what you city girls say 'apartment'. It has two floors and six rooms. I share the room with my roommate, Andrew," Darien replied, explaining. They entered the quiet cabin. In fact, the cabin really did look like an apartment, though the outside of it didn't. They walked up the steps, to room 2B.
"Wow..." Serena said, looking around the laced room. It had pictures of horses and cars everywhere. "Very boyish," Serena said.
"Thanks," Darien said, rubbing his head. He quickly ran toward the couch and pulled the clothes off the bed. "Sorry for the mess,"
"No problem," She sat down, still looking around.
"Er--I kind of set up a picnic for the falls," Darien said, shifting his foot.
"Uh--ok, I guess..my mom said that I could come back as long as it's not past midnight," Serena said, adding the midnight part in. Darien looked surprised.
"Oh! Oh, ok then, let's head out shall we?" Darien grabbed his coat to head out the door. Then he went back in as Serena was standing there, knowing that he'd be back.
"Lady's first," Darien said quickly. Serena giggled and left.
At the falls, the night moon shone bright with stars. The waterfalls looked like diamonds, glistening in the night. Serena and Darien sat on a red checkerboard blanket, gazing at the stars while eating sandwiches, fruits, and an entrée of meat like chicken and beef.
"Wow!" Serena exclaimed at the food.
Darien rubbed the back of his neck. "My mom was kind of overactive,"
Serena smiled. "I'm a big eater,"
"So am I," Darien picked up a beef sandwich and chowed down. As they ate, Serena knew to keep her distance from him. If anything happened to her...
"Ow!" Serena said startled.
Darien quickly stopped eating to approach Serena. "What happened?"
"I--I cut myself," Serena said staring at the knife with blood when cutting an apple.
"Let me see the cut," Darien said, reaching for her hand. She flinched. "NO!" Darien looked startled.
"I--I mean, I have to go home and get a band-aid and alcohol," Serena said quickly.
"Can I at least see the cut?" Darien said, reaching for her hand again. Serena flinched once more. "I--I have to go home," She stood up then turned again. "Thanks for the dinner," and with that said, she ran all the way home, leaving Darien puzzled and concerned.
"Mom! Help!" Serena cried once she slammed the door. The blood was still oozing out of her skin. Ilene ran to Serena.
"What? What----" She stared at Serena's finger.
"Well, don't just stand there! Do something!" Serena cried in shock.
"I--I'll have to call Dr. Fuji," Ilene ran to the kitchen. "Oh! And take a wad of tissue and lean it under the cut. The floor can't be dirty!"
Serena rolled her eyes, but obeyed. She heard her mother hang up the phone.
"Dr. Fuji says that we'll have to go back...to Tokyo Hospital...Serena, you'll have to go through tests again," Ilene trembled.
"Mom, why are you trembling??" Serena asked, concerned. "It's just tests---right?"
"Oh, honey, it--it's not that...Serena, your HIV's back."
Darien looked at the stars again, thinking how stupid he was to bring a knife to cut a fruit! Stupid baka! He shook his head, and continued walking. I'll see her in the morning; drop by to see if she's available for grooming Golden Light. He stepped up to apartment, opened his room, and closed the door.
Within the next day, Darien walked through the fields toward Serena's cabin. He took a big breath. He knocked and waited. Hi, Serena, uh--I was wondering---no, can't say that--
The door didn't reply. When it finally did, a plump woman stood in front of him. He was a bit startled.
"Excuse me, is this the Tsukino's residential renting cabin?" Darien asked.
"Yes," the woman replied. She was wearing a maid's uniform.
"Is Serena Tsukino here?"
"You just missed them," she said.
"Missed them?" he asked, confused.
"Yea, they left about an hour ago on their way to Tokyo, Japan...I heard that that Serena girl you mentioned had to go back to the---Tokyo hospital or something like that, weird people they are," the woman explained. "Is there anything else you'd like to know?"
"Uh--no but thanks anyway," he turned and left. How can she leave without leaving a note? Or anything?
Beep...beep...beep...
Serena's eyes fluttered open. She first saw a blurry vision, and then her eyesight became clear. She was connected to IV wires, thinking that this was a dream. One thing made Serena know that it wasn't.
"Honey? You're awake? Oh, goodness..." Ilene was next to her, holding and squeezing her hand tightly.
"M--mom?" Serena's voice was hoarse, and sounded like she was trapped in a suffocating cup. She tried to sit up, but knew she couldn't.
Her mother hauled her back down. "Don't use too much strength,"
Serena nodded, and relaxed. Then she looked around her. "Wh--where...am.... I?"
"Back in good ol' Tokyo," Ilene tried to joke. Serena didn't laugh. Ilene cleared her throat, and then was serious.
"What did the doctors say?" Serena asked.
Ilene was silent.
"Mom...tell...me...I can.... handle.... it," Serena squeezed her mother's hand in response.
Ilene sniffled, then wiped an eye. "Dr. Fuji said that----" Before she could even begin, Dr. Fuji came in as if on cue.
"Ah...I see Serena here's awake?" he asked greetingly.
"Doctor.... What's happening?....Why's....my....mom...." she couldn't finish.
"Dr. Fuji, I think you should tell Serena what's happening...I just can't---" Ilene stood up and went around Serena's bed to hug her.
"Doctor....what's happening?....answer....me!" Serena cried. But it sounded more like a girl squealing.
Dr. Fuji sighed, and then nodded. "Serena..listen to me, I've known you since you were born..your father was my friend in college...." he sighed again. "Based on your tests, the HIV's going to kill you...AIDS is actually...remember when I said that you were going to die?"
Serena hadn't missed a beat. "How long?"
"Three months tops," Dr. Fuji replied.
"How's it going to happen?"
"Most likely through pneumonia..you'll have a high fever, but then slip into coma...there I guess, you'll---" he couldn't finish...
Ilene's fingers were hurting Serena, but she couldn't feel them. She felt rigid, solid, and hopeless.
Three months, she thought. Three months before the end......
That night, Serena woke up at 3:00 am, knowing it was too early to wake her mother for chat. It felt cold, so Serena bundled herself in blankets, shivering. She turned her nightlight on. There on her desk was a note...she opened it and found a long letter:
'Dear Serena Tsukino,
You don't know me, but I know you. I have had the same grief, pain, and sadness you've had.
Here's a check of 10,000 dollars you can spend on anything you want; with no strings attached. You may share this letter to anyone you wish...
Your pain and grief I understand...
I also know that God has sent me to do things to help people make their wishes come true...
On behalf of OWC, I hope your dreams and wishes come true....always.
Your friend,
J.D.'
Serena opened the envelope again, and there indeed, was a check of 10, 000 dollars! This has to be a dream...Serena thought shocked. She reached for the phone, hopeful to talk to Darien...but then she remembered...he hadn't left his number...and neither has she...then she had an idea! But she would have to tell her mother about it...
"What!" Ilene asked.
"Mom, don't make it harder than it is," Serena said.
"Oh, I'm not angry...I'm happy! Someone finally cares about my daughter!" Ilene smiled.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Serena asked, frowning playfully.
"Nothing..." Ilene replied, gazing her eyes at the window. "I'll have to see if this check is even real or legitimate,"
"I have a feeling that it is," Serena replied under her breath.
"I'll let you know tomorrow..." Ilene looked at her watch. "Oh! Yikes! Works starting....gotta go! Bye hon," she kissed Serena's head and did a little dance then left, happy.
Serena laughed, and then looked around her. Empty. Then she thought of the playroom on the second floor. I'll take a trip there, she thought.
Darien strayed around his apartment, doing his usual chores, and groomed Golden Light. Why didn't she leave a note? No answer? This thought was in Darien's head all the time when Serena was in Tokyo. Did she ignore him? Laugh at him for being a fool? Anything?!
Ring....Ring.... Darien walked slowly toward the phone; hopeful the answering machine would answer it. It did.
'I'm not here right now, so please leave a message...' the machine beeped, and a girl's voice was on the phone.
"Uh--hi Darien..." (Darien looked up) "It's me Serena...and uh, I know I left without leaving a message and all, but I have a reason. I'm at the hospital right now in Tokyo---and yeah, that's way far----but since you were my friend maybe you'd pick up the phone---" Darien leapt to the phone.
"Hello?" he asked, panting.
"Oh! Hi, Darien..." Serena's voice was kind of shy.
"What happened? Why are you at the hospital?"
"It's a long story...still want to hear it?" she sounded hopeful.
"Got all the time in the world..." And so, Serena told Darien about her diagnosis, and the treatments and the fact that HIV was going to kill her. Then she told him about the letter.
"Well, what are you going to spend it on?" Darien asked.
"Uh---actually, that's a surprise..." Serena said slyly
"Well, it's legitimate!" Serena's mother burst through the door, waving the check in her hands.
"Hello to you too," Serena replied. Ilene smiled, and then pulled a chair over to the bed.
"So, your plan maybe in effect," Ilene said.
"I called him, mom," Serena said absentmindedly.
"Really? Well, do tell!" Ilene looked anxious and excited like a 16-year-old girl.
"Well---"
"Wait. How'd you get his number? I thought you didn't have it,"
"Actually, I called Rei, that day when you left, and told her about Darien..."
"Darien Shields? The one in Colorado?" Rei laughed.
"Yeah," Serena replied.
"How ironic...Darien's Japanese name is Mamoru Chiba..."
"Wait...didn't you say that your grandfather's other daughter was Chiba?" Serena said, putting it all together. She could feel Rei nodding.
"Yup...it so happens that Darien's my cousin!"
"Wow, that's hard to believe..." Ilene commented, when finished hearing Serena's story. "Did he know?"
"He asked later," Serena replied.
"Sounds like you two were meant for each other," Ilene giggled.
"Mom, we're friends!" Serena laughed with her mother. "Okay...so let's talk business...what did your boss say at the airport?"
"My boss was pretty annoyed, but he agreed because I said I'd work extra shifts," Ilene replied. Serena reached for her mom's hands.
"You didn't have to do that---"
"Anything for you..." Ilene said. Serena's eyes filled, but she quickly blinked them away. Then she smiled. "Okay, so when's the flight available?"
"Now that you mention it...." Ilene reached into her purse and pulled out three tickets.
"Three?" Serena asked.
"Yeah---how else would you be able to give the ticket?"
"By mail?"
"Honey, don't be so sarcastic...I'm giving you two tickets for a) Both of you would travel back to here, and b) you'll meet him."
"Thanks mom," Serena grabbed her mother and hugged her.
"Your welcome..." Ilene's eyes filled a little and hid them within her daughter's long hair.
It was 6:oo am, and Serena just arrived from the airport in Colorado. She was supposed to be in the hospital, and it was also hard to convince Dr. Fuji to give in. But he did, for the sake of Serena's wishes.
"Just remember to take a few medications during the flight---for nausea..." he told her. She agreed, and now, here she was. She hadn't told Darien that she'd be coming.
She went toward his apartment, up the steps, and into room 2B. She knocked.
"Who is it?" Darien's muffled question asked. He opened the door.
"Serena!"
"Hey, hello to you too," Serena hugged him. "Ready to go?"
"Go? Go where?" Darien asked, his out clothes on, but felt like he should be in bed.
"Let me ask you the question also." Serena said. She looked at him from head to toe.
"Uh---oh, my friend Andrew's having a bash on Ponder's Creek," Darien replied.
"You going to go?" Serena asked, a little disappointed. He stepped out and closed the door behind him.
"Well, since you're here...." he chuckled.
"Whatever...guess what I found out?" she asked.
"Enlighten me,"
"I just found out that you're Rei's cousin!"
"You know her?"
"Heck, I'm best friends with her----except that she's like you, tease me way too much," she mused.
"Did you see the resemblance?" Darien chimed in. Then he looked confused and serious. "Aren't you supposed to be in Tokyo? What are you doing all the way out here? Do your doctors know?"
"Surprise," Serena said and posing like a model. She was really sick with fever, but she tried to hide it. Darien thankfully didn't notice.
"Huh?"
"Remember what you asked what I was going to use the money for?"
"Uh---to see me?" Darien asked.
"Right, but, Darien----I'm dying."
Darien stood frozen. Like an ice cube still fresh in the freezer.
"D--dying? B--but how? When?"
Serena could feel her eyes fill. "Come with me to Tokyo..I have to get back as soon as possible."
"But now?"
"Noooo...when you see my funeral, just throw in a flower of surrendering..." Serena joked. She had to lighten up the depression sweeping over them. They had to leave.
"Serena, it's not time to be sarcastic...when's the next flight?"
Serena checked her watch. It took about three days to get there...so maybe about an hour tops. "An hour,"
Darien grabbed her wrist. "Let's go," Serena stopped walking. She put hr hands to her temple. She shook her head then smiled. She had to fake it. No such luck.
"Serena? Serena, what's wrong? Speak to me," He held her in his arms, praying that Serena would be okay.
"Darien, I'm okay---really," She broke free of him and began to walk. "C'mon or we'll be late." Then she didn't know what happened, it was so sudden---she pitched into blackness...last hearing Darien's voice.
"Serena! Serena!"
She floated in darkness, like a wave sweeping over....images of childhood flashing by....
"Dad!" Serena tried to yell...but it was in her thoughts.
"Hello, pumpkin," Ken smiled.
"Where am I? Daddy...I miss you so much---"
"Shh...just close your eyes and remember your fifth birthday?"
"The time you sent Kuri to me...of course I do,"
"Remember that time....just close your eyes...Dad's going to be here all the way...until the end..." his voice drowned through Serena's thoughts. She smiled, and did close her eyes. She felt sick, but with her father was a different matter....
"Serena?"
Serena's eyes fluttered open. She couldn't see clearly of who it was, but she could tell by the voice: it was Darien.
"Darien?" she said.
"Shh...don't talk..." He pulled up a chair and sat next to Serena, holding her hand.
"I...know...I...can't...make...it..."
"Shh...not now...you have to rest and save your strength..." he brushed Serena's hair with his hand, going through each strand.
"I know it's hard to believe but...I know I can't say it later...but..I love you Darien...I've always had...ever since the day I heard you start to tease me..."
"I know..I know..Me too..Serena...I love you too..." he kissed her hand.
"So, is Rei coming over?" Darien asked.
"She did when you went for coffee break," Serena mused. She squeezed his hand. "Now I'm serious, Darien."
"What?"
"Go in my drawer there's a note and a poem I love since like the beginnning of time or something...anyway...when I--well you know--I want you to read it to me...tie it to a balloon I have there on the stand..." she nodded toward the blue balloon.
"I will Serena I will...." he kissed her again, and held on to her hand. He then reached over and kissed her forehead.
"You could kiss my lips too you know," Serena implied.
Darien chuckled, then kissed Serena tenderly on the lips. It felt sweet and warm to Serena, and nice and momentous to Darien. That night at 8:30, Serena died, still clutching Darien's hand, and Ken's soft voice melting through her like jelly...
Around midnight, Darien opened his drawer to retrieve the letter. He stayed in a hotel for he also wanted to mourn Serena's death. He opened an envelope and found a letter:
Dear Darien,
If you read this letter, well that means I'm already in heaven with Dad. Yeah, Dad died when I was a kid, pretty harsh, leaving mom all alone and everything...
Anyway, I told you that I had a poem I loved since 'the beginning or something'.
If we could read the secret history of our enemies,
we should find in each man's life
Sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility.
---Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
This poem is special because when my dad died, I was filled with regret and sorrow. I always wondered that me dying had to do with me being bad in this life; me always hating my dad for things he didn't let me do, for things I wanted but he couldn't allow. I always blamed him for not letting me go to certain places. But when I was on the plane and sitting in bed, I thought about life again. I read this poem and it made me realize that regret wasn't a subject, it was an adjective. In other words, it was more like a piece of ham on a sandwich while the rest was a whole. Without the ham was nothing more than a nonpurposeful thing in life. You could have other choices: turkey, beef, or roast pork, if you'd choose. My point is that spending time with you and knowing you made me see that life has it's happiness, and jokes...The days at Colorado were fun, enjoyful, and momentous. I love you Darien, and I love mom as well as life itself. So when people ask "Serena died so young...she was only sixteen..." they don't know me...they only know my physical appearance...not my heart. I wrote a letter to mom too(---I think she's already cracking up and crying right now---). Take care of her...call her at times to let her know I'm with her...and you.
Tell Rei goodbye for me, and her teases were funny. Tell her--and everyone--that I love them, and that I'll be 'up there' with Dad watching over you guys. Take Care!
P.S. write this poem on the balloon I told you...and in my yard, let the balloon go so I can reach it. All of you can write a message for one day, I'll be back and claim it---I know I will.
Love,
Serena Tsukino
Usagi Tsukino--Your Usako--
(Yeah, my Japanese name is Usagi...lots of people call me Usa...you can call me Usako...)
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Well, what do you think? Sad, isn't it? Send me comments and reviews please! Email me at Jonquil13@hotmail.com!! ^__*!
By: Princez_of_Fantasys
DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN SAILORMOON SO SM FANS: HA! YOU CAN'T SUE ME!!! YOU CAN'T SUE ME!!!
Summary: It's hard for Serena Tsukino and her mother, Ilene to accept the doctors' diagnosis: Serena is HIV positive. Seven years ago, before blood screening was required, Serena received a transfusion. It saved her life then, but now the harsh reality can't be changed-the blood was tainted. She plans to spend the summer in Colorado, before her days end. The summer seems even better than she dreamed, especially after she meets Darien. Serena doesn't plan to tell Darien about her condition. Then her health problems deteriorate and she returns home. Subsequently, an anonymous benefactor grants Serena one wish, with no strings attached. She decides to use the money for Darien to travel to Tokyo and see her. But times running out! Is there time for Serena and Darien to meet again?
********************************************************************************
"Serena, how's the view so far?" her mother eagerly asked
Serena put down her things and smiled. "I haven't seen much yet, we just got here an hour ago!"
Ilene Tsukino walked to Serena's bed and sat. "I haven't seen that smile in ages!" Serena grinned. "Don't worry, you'll see it for the rest of the summer."
"Okay." Ilene eyed Serena's clothing and stared wide eyed. She had stacks and stacks of clothes. "My, did you bring your entire closet along?" she laughed.
"Nope, these are just the usual." Serena answered teasingly. Serena stopped. "I want to look at the view then come back packing." She headed out the door.
"Well, make sure you don't get lost! And come back for supper!" Ilene shouted.
"'Kay!" Serena answered.
Serena breathed in the lush sweet smell of grass. Mmm… She lifted her head and closed her eyes. The sun was beautiful. They don't have this type of stuff back home… Serena shook her head. Thinking of home made her think of that hospital in Tokyo. The doctors told her in April that she was dying…
Months before, Serena felt different. Always tired, her vision blurred during concentration, she always had no appetite, and was losing weight. Eventually, her mother was concerned and told her to go to a checkup at Tokyo Hospital. She refused, but found herself waiting in the Waiting Room for the nurse to call her name. "Serena Tsukino?" the nurse asked. Serena and Ilene stood up. "Come this way," the nurse directed. She took them into a room with painted white walls, several awards on one side of a wall, a desk, chair, and several things. "Dr. Fuji will be right with you." The nurse told them. Those words were the last she heard, 2 hours ago. Now her mother and her were facing two men. A Japanese brown haired man, with silver rimmed glasses, blue shirt and black pants, as well as a lab coat with a stethoscope around his neck. And the other, wearing a lab coat, brown pants, gray shirt, and was known as Dr. Jefferson Shiko was holding Serena's charts. Serena could tell that they had serious expressions. Ilene noticed too. "I-is there something wrong doctor?" Dr. Fuji sat in his chair. "Um, Serena, I want you to answer a few of my questions. They may seem odd, but answer them truthfully." Serena couldn't control her voice so she nodded.
"Do you have a boyfriend?" he asked. Serena still couldn't control her voice. She shook her head.
"What's this got to do with her medical problems?" Ilene asked. "Tell us the results of those tests you did."
"As a hematologist, I specialize in the diseases of the blood."
Serena found her voice. "Do I have cancer?" she asked cautiously. She knew leukemia was a blood disease.
"No," he said, giving her a moment of relief. "But according to your tests, you're HIV-positive."
"Are you saying that my daughter has AIDS?" Serena's mother asked. She pulled Serena and held her tightly. "That's truly impossible!"
Again, Serena was so shocked that she didn't speak.
A horse's hooves brought her back to reality. She saw the horse run swiftly across the grass. It was like a picture in a book. Then she made a confused look. What's a horse doing all the way in Colorado? She ran toward the horse. Halfway there, she saw the horse grazing at some grass. When the horse noticed Serena, it was frightened. Serena let out her hand. "Shh. I won't hurt you." Serena said calmly.
"What do you think you're doing to my horse?" a male voice asked. The voice startled Serena.
"I-I was just tr-trying to pet the horse. That's all." Serena stammered.
The male had dark hair, blue eyes, and seemed angry. "Well, don't do it to my horse." He said in an angry way.
What a jerk!
"Fine. Don't need your Colorado stinkin' horse!" Serena snapped. She knew it wasn't the horse's fault.
As if reading her mind, he said, "He's not Colorado, and don't bring the horse into this!" he snapped back.
This made her furious! How dare he snap her back! The only one's who could do that were her parents and her 'enemy' friend, Rei.
"Besides," he continued, "My horse doesn't like being petted by a yellow meatball headed girl!"
"Well, your horse stinks anyway!"
"Actually, he smells great!" he sniffed his horse. Then he pinched his nose. "I think you're the one who stinks!"
Serena couldn't take it anymore. She turned around and stormed back towards her cabin. That's when she noticed that he chuckled. I don't need this lowlife to spend my vacation! Though she had to admit, she liked the horse and the guy's voice.
When Serena got home, she slammed the door. Her mother popped her head out of the kitchen. "Back so early?" she asked.
"Ruined by a-oh, just forget it! No one needs him anyway. I bet he had no home so when he took a shower, he had to use hay to clean off the water!" she mumbled.
Ilene followed Serena to her room.
"Honey, what's wrong? Boy problem?" she teased.
"Not a boy, a jerk!"
"You know, I used to have that attitude when your father and I met." Her mother said, thinking about the past.
"Well, mom, sit and talk!" Serena replied excited. She always wants to hear about her father and mother's love life. Especially since he died when she was a few years old. And because it was romantic.
Her mother sat and began…
"Well, when we met, we were in college. We were in the Tokyo College. I was usually the quiet type and your father was the group type. He was athletic. I used to think that we would never get along since he was in the 'in crowd'. One day, I noticed that he was following me whichever class I went to. Finally, it was after school.
"Uh, Ilene?"
"Yeah?"
"I noticed that every time you walked, it looked like the chicken dance,"
"What?!"
"And you wear big black goofy glasses."
"Ugh! Well, for your information, these glasses are not big, or goofy! Everyone in America wears them!"
I was so angry I stormed off. I vowed never to see him again…"
Ilene sighed.
"Then I realized that he teased me because his friends dared him to. I felt sorry for him, so we started dating and it lead to marriage."
"Mom, that was beautiful." Serena had that dreamy look in her eye.
"You call teasing beautiful?" Ilene asked, confused.
"No, I meant about the part of dating and marriage. I wish I had a decent man like dad."
"Well, you'll find one. You have a whole life to think about!" Ilene knew she said something bad. Serena chuckled. "Yeah, I guess so..." I hope so...
The next morning, the aroma in the kitchen awakened Serena.
"Morning, mom!" Serena shouted.
"Morning! Want some eggs and bacons?" Ilene asked
Serena bounded down the stairs. "Do I ever!"
Serena grabbed her plate and began eating.
"My, you sure do look hungry!" her mother laughed
"Yep! Today, I'm going to this park where you can see a waterfall. Wanna come? We could have a picnic!" Serena exclaimed.
"Sure! It's been a long time since we spent time together."
That afternoon, Serena and Ilene drove to the Colorado hiking park. (*For those interested or reading the story, I made that up! *) They sat on a spot in the sun. The water was clear and beautiful.
Serena and Ilene hiked on a trail to get a closer look at the waterfall. Ilene felt relaxed and kept going. Serena, on the other hand was slowing down.
"Mom," Serena panted. "H-how can I keep up if you walk so fast?"
"C'mon, Serena, it gets the muscle trained."
"Yeah, and by that time, I'll be as old as a witch."
When they got there, they took pictures. At least the trip's worth it! Serena thought as she admired the crisp falls of the water. When they got back to their picnic spot, they began to eat lunch. Serena was staring at the food.
"Are you planning to invite people for a barbecue mom? Because I could---"
"Relax, Serena. I know you love eating, so, I brought extra food."
"Extra food? It's like you brought food fit for kings to me!"
As Serena was eating a sandwich, she went down to the pond. She put her feet in the cold clear water. She then stood on a high cliff with her mother and let her hair down. It was gleaming like the radiant sun on a bright morning. She didn't see the guy that she bumped into the first day she went to Colorado. He was watching the water when Serena's hair caught his eye. How beautiful… he thought. No, city girls are always…but she has the bluest eyes I ever saw… he imagined his lips in hers, tender and sweet, like birds chirping together to make a song…
Serena noticed the guy staring at her. She didn't tell Ilene because she didn't want to make a scene. What was he staring at?
Around 6:oo, Serena and Ilene packed their picnic. "Was it fun?" Ilene asked. "Yes. I wish dad was hear to see this."
"I think he did, since he's in heaven and looks down on us."
Thinking about Ken Tsukino made the car seem silent. Although Serena never knew him, she had clips of the past. The way he held her in his arms, the way he used to swing her around in the playground with their old dog, Kuri…
Back at the cabin, Serena went outside for fresh air. Really hoping to see the guy again. To her luck, she did. He was grooming the horse. She went over to him.
"Oh, look who it is, Meatball head."
"Since when did you call me that?"
"Since now." He grinned
"Well, for your information, I came to say sorry to your horse, not you." She turned to his horse and said, "Sorry, for bringing you into the conversation with this jerk."
"And since when did you call me a jerk?" he asked.
"Since you were born. God knew you'd be a jerk and look, you are."
"I'm not stuck-up like you." He folded his arms.
"Well--" she stopped and frowned. "What's your name?"
He was surprised he asked her that.
"Darien. Darien Shields."
"Well, Darien Shields, I am not a meatball head. If you did call me that, I could easily pulverize you to the face of this earth!"
"What's your name?" he asked.
"Serena Tsukino."
"Well, Serena Tsukino, I am not a jerk either. And if I were you I'd get away before someone like me takes your hair and digs it in the dirt!" He made a triumphant expression.
She glared at him. "You wouldn't dare!"
"Try me."
She stomped off toward her cabin and imagined a big bulldozer scooping Darien up and threw him halfway around the world until Chinese people found him and left him dying.
Don't think that word! Don't say dying!!! It's a nightmare! A complete nightmare!!!!!
"Serena! Serena help me! Help!" a voice called out.
"I'm coming daddy! I'm coming!" Serena cried. The closer she got to her father, the farther he drifted away.
"Daddy! No! Don't leave!" Serena was connected to an IV unit and was trying to break free from the wires.
"I won't! I'll always love you and mommy! I love you!" Ken waved good-bye
"No! No! Please stay! I need you!" Serena cried once more. Ken disappeared.
"NOOO!!!!"
Serena awoke from her dream, sweaty. She got out of bed and felt dizzy. She opened her bathroom door and opened her light. It was bright and caused Serena's eyes to squint. She turned the water faucet on cold. She splashed some water on her face. She looked in the mirror. Her face was wet and pale. I think I'm sick...
The next morning, Serena tried to get out of bed. Oh, great! I feel woozy and nauscious. Just great to start off my vacation! Serena then heard a knock at the door. "Come in.," she answered. She barely shouted.
"Honey, you feeling okay?" Ilene held up a tray with food. "I checked your temperature. I guess you have a fever." She brought the plate to Serena's bed. She then put her hand on Serena's head. "Well, you're still hot."
"Mom, I had this weird dream last night."
"What about?" Ilene started to stir Serena's soup.
"Dad."
Ilene stopped stirring. She then looked concerned and interested.
"I was connected to some wires on an IV machine and Dad started to call for help. I tried to reach him, but he started to drift. Then he said that he loved us no matter where he was. I think he's trying to tell us something, mom." Serena stared at her mother's expression.
Ilene tried to play the scene in her mind. "Well, we both love your father no matter. So I think he's trying to say that no matter what he's doing or where he is, he's with us all the way. Especially because of your HIV."
The room then became silent. They didn't talk. Ilene wondered about Ken, and Serena wondered about her deadly disease...HIV.
A few days later, Serena felt better and decided to tease Darien again. Hopeful that he'd learn some manners by now.
"Hey, Meatball head!" Darien shouted. He saw Serena pet his horse, Golden Light.
Serena ignored him and started to pet Golden Light again.
Darien ran toward her. "Watcha doing here?"
Serena stopped petting and turned toward him. "Came here just to see your horse. What's his name by the way?"
"Golden Light."
"Nice name." She glanced at Golden Light.
"Well, where are you going afterwards?"
"Dunno. Anywhere. Why?" She stared at him again, squinting at the light of the sun.
Darien didn't know how to answer. "Just curious. Don't want you city girls bothering the nature of the country."
"Oh, please." she waved her hand. "I saw you staring at me when I went to the falls."
Darien didn't reply.
Serena sighed. "Bye Golden Light! See you." She started to walk away.
"W-wait!" Darien didn't even know those words shot out of his mouth.
Serena turned around, making Serena think she was a model or something with her long yellow hair. "What?"
Darien jogged toward her. "I guess we didn't get a good start the first time. Can you come to the falls tomorrow with me? I have nothing against you city girls."
Serena was shocked. "I-is that like, a date or something?"
"Yeah, guess so."
"I'd go, but it can't be a date."
"What? Why?"
"I-I can't say. I have my reasons."
"Fine. Then we'll at least be friends?" he asked, taking out his hand.
"Friends." Serena held out hers and shook his.
"Alright. 9:00 tomorrow night then. Fine with you?"
"Yeah. Bye!" Serena started toward her cabin.
"Bye." After she disappeared, he said to himself, "Friends."
The next night at nine, Darien came to Serena's house for the first time. She told Ilene about him. "Yup, sounds a lot like Ken," Ilene added.
"Ready to go?" Darien asked, opening the door. Serena had worn her blue jeans, a lacy white shirt as well as a jacket. Darien wore a black jean jacket, with blue jeans and boots.
"Yeah," Serena walked past him, replying. They walked toward a cabin. "Is this your house?" Serena asked.
"Actually, it's what you city girls say 'apartment'. It has two floors and six rooms. I share the room with my roommate, Andrew," Darien replied, explaining. They entered the quiet cabin. In fact, the cabin really did look like an apartment, though the outside of it didn't. They walked up the steps, to room 2B.
"Wow..." Serena said, looking around the laced room. It had pictures of horses and cars everywhere. "Very boyish," Serena said.
"Thanks," Darien said, rubbing his head. He quickly ran toward the couch and pulled the clothes off the bed. "Sorry for the mess,"
"No problem," She sat down, still looking around.
"Er--I kind of set up a picnic for the falls," Darien said, shifting his foot.
"Uh--ok, I guess..my mom said that I could come back as long as it's not past midnight," Serena said, adding the midnight part in. Darien looked surprised.
"Oh! Oh, ok then, let's head out shall we?" Darien grabbed his coat to head out the door. Then he went back in as Serena was standing there, knowing that he'd be back.
"Lady's first," Darien said quickly. Serena giggled and left.
At the falls, the night moon shone bright with stars. The waterfalls looked like diamonds, glistening in the night. Serena and Darien sat on a red checkerboard blanket, gazing at the stars while eating sandwiches, fruits, and an entrée of meat like chicken and beef.
"Wow!" Serena exclaimed at the food.
Darien rubbed the back of his neck. "My mom was kind of overactive,"
Serena smiled. "I'm a big eater,"
"So am I," Darien picked up a beef sandwich and chowed down. As they ate, Serena knew to keep her distance from him. If anything happened to her...
"Ow!" Serena said startled.
Darien quickly stopped eating to approach Serena. "What happened?"
"I--I cut myself," Serena said staring at the knife with blood when cutting an apple.
"Let me see the cut," Darien said, reaching for her hand. She flinched. "NO!" Darien looked startled.
"I--I mean, I have to go home and get a band-aid and alcohol," Serena said quickly.
"Can I at least see the cut?" Darien said, reaching for her hand again. Serena flinched once more. "I--I have to go home," She stood up then turned again. "Thanks for the dinner," and with that said, she ran all the way home, leaving Darien puzzled and concerned.
"Mom! Help!" Serena cried once she slammed the door. The blood was still oozing out of her skin. Ilene ran to Serena.
"What? What----" She stared at Serena's finger.
"Well, don't just stand there! Do something!" Serena cried in shock.
"I--I'll have to call Dr. Fuji," Ilene ran to the kitchen. "Oh! And take a wad of tissue and lean it under the cut. The floor can't be dirty!"
Serena rolled her eyes, but obeyed. She heard her mother hang up the phone.
"Dr. Fuji says that we'll have to go back...to Tokyo Hospital...Serena, you'll have to go through tests again," Ilene trembled.
"Mom, why are you trembling??" Serena asked, concerned. "It's just tests---right?"
"Oh, honey, it--it's not that...Serena, your HIV's back."
Darien looked at the stars again, thinking how stupid he was to bring a knife to cut a fruit! Stupid baka! He shook his head, and continued walking. I'll see her in the morning; drop by to see if she's available for grooming Golden Light. He stepped up to apartment, opened his room, and closed the door.
Within the next day, Darien walked through the fields toward Serena's cabin. He took a big breath. He knocked and waited. Hi, Serena, uh--I was wondering---no, can't say that--
The door didn't reply. When it finally did, a plump woman stood in front of him. He was a bit startled.
"Excuse me, is this the Tsukino's residential renting cabin?" Darien asked.
"Yes," the woman replied. She was wearing a maid's uniform.
"Is Serena Tsukino here?"
"You just missed them," she said.
"Missed them?" he asked, confused.
"Yea, they left about an hour ago on their way to Tokyo, Japan...I heard that that Serena girl you mentioned had to go back to the---Tokyo hospital or something like that, weird people they are," the woman explained. "Is there anything else you'd like to know?"
"Uh--no but thanks anyway," he turned and left. How can she leave without leaving a note? Or anything?
Beep...beep...beep...
Serena's eyes fluttered open. She first saw a blurry vision, and then her eyesight became clear. She was connected to IV wires, thinking that this was a dream. One thing made Serena know that it wasn't.
"Honey? You're awake? Oh, goodness..." Ilene was next to her, holding and squeezing her hand tightly.
"M--mom?" Serena's voice was hoarse, and sounded like she was trapped in a suffocating cup. She tried to sit up, but knew she couldn't.
Her mother hauled her back down. "Don't use too much strength,"
Serena nodded, and relaxed. Then she looked around her. "Wh--where...am.... I?"
"Back in good ol' Tokyo," Ilene tried to joke. Serena didn't laugh. Ilene cleared her throat, and then was serious.
"What did the doctors say?" Serena asked.
Ilene was silent.
"Mom...tell...me...I can.... handle.... it," Serena squeezed her mother's hand in response.
Ilene sniffled, then wiped an eye. "Dr. Fuji said that----" Before she could even begin, Dr. Fuji came in as if on cue.
"Ah...I see Serena here's awake?" he asked greetingly.
"Doctor.... What's happening?....Why's....my....mom...." she couldn't finish.
"Dr. Fuji, I think you should tell Serena what's happening...I just can't---" Ilene stood up and went around Serena's bed to hug her.
"Doctor....what's happening?....answer....me!" Serena cried. But it sounded more like a girl squealing.
Dr. Fuji sighed, and then nodded. "Serena..listen to me, I've known you since you were born..your father was my friend in college...." he sighed again. "Based on your tests, the HIV's going to kill you...AIDS is actually...remember when I said that you were going to die?"
Serena hadn't missed a beat. "How long?"
"Three months tops," Dr. Fuji replied.
"How's it going to happen?"
"Most likely through pneumonia..you'll have a high fever, but then slip into coma...there I guess, you'll---" he couldn't finish...
Ilene's fingers were hurting Serena, but she couldn't feel them. She felt rigid, solid, and hopeless.
Three months, she thought. Three months before the end......
That night, Serena woke up at 3:00 am, knowing it was too early to wake her mother for chat. It felt cold, so Serena bundled herself in blankets, shivering. She turned her nightlight on. There on her desk was a note...she opened it and found a long letter:
'Dear Serena Tsukino,
You don't know me, but I know you. I have had the same grief, pain, and sadness you've had.
Here's a check of 10,000 dollars you can spend on anything you want; with no strings attached. You may share this letter to anyone you wish...
Your pain and grief I understand...
I also know that God has sent me to do things to help people make their wishes come true...
On behalf of OWC, I hope your dreams and wishes come true....always.
Your friend,
J.D.'
Serena opened the envelope again, and there indeed, was a check of 10, 000 dollars! This has to be a dream...Serena thought shocked. She reached for the phone, hopeful to talk to Darien...but then she remembered...he hadn't left his number...and neither has she...then she had an idea! But she would have to tell her mother about it...
"What!" Ilene asked.
"Mom, don't make it harder than it is," Serena said.
"Oh, I'm not angry...I'm happy! Someone finally cares about my daughter!" Ilene smiled.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Serena asked, frowning playfully.
"Nothing..." Ilene replied, gazing her eyes at the window. "I'll have to see if this check is even real or legitimate,"
"I have a feeling that it is," Serena replied under her breath.
"I'll let you know tomorrow..." Ilene looked at her watch. "Oh! Yikes! Works starting....gotta go! Bye hon," she kissed Serena's head and did a little dance then left, happy.
Serena laughed, and then looked around her. Empty. Then she thought of the playroom on the second floor. I'll take a trip there, she thought.
Darien strayed around his apartment, doing his usual chores, and groomed Golden Light. Why didn't she leave a note? No answer? This thought was in Darien's head all the time when Serena was in Tokyo. Did she ignore him? Laugh at him for being a fool? Anything?!
Ring....Ring.... Darien walked slowly toward the phone; hopeful the answering machine would answer it. It did.
'I'm not here right now, so please leave a message...' the machine beeped, and a girl's voice was on the phone.
"Uh--hi Darien..." (Darien looked up) "It's me Serena...and uh, I know I left without leaving a message and all, but I have a reason. I'm at the hospital right now in Tokyo---and yeah, that's way far----but since you were my friend maybe you'd pick up the phone---" Darien leapt to the phone.
"Hello?" he asked, panting.
"Oh! Hi, Darien..." Serena's voice was kind of shy.
"What happened? Why are you at the hospital?"
"It's a long story...still want to hear it?" she sounded hopeful.
"Got all the time in the world..." And so, Serena told Darien about her diagnosis, and the treatments and the fact that HIV was going to kill her. Then she told him about the letter.
"Well, what are you going to spend it on?" Darien asked.
"Uh---actually, that's a surprise..." Serena said slyly
"Well, it's legitimate!" Serena's mother burst through the door, waving the check in her hands.
"Hello to you too," Serena replied. Ilene smiled, and then pulled a chair over to the bed.
"So, your plan maybe in effect," Ilene said.
"I called him, mom," Serena said absentmindedly.
"Really? Well, do tell!" Ilene looked anxious and excited like a 16-year-old girl.
"Well---"
"Wait. How'd you get his number? I thought you didn't have it,"
"Actually, I called Rei, that day when you left, and told her about Darien..."
"Darien Shields? The one in Colorado?" Rei laughed.
"Yeah," Serena replied.
"How ironic...Darien's Japanese name is Mamoru Chiba..."
"Wait...didn't you say that your grandfather's other daughter was Chiba?" Serena said, putting it all together. She could feel Rei nodding.
"Yup...it so happens that Darien's my cousin!"
"Wow, that's hard to believe..." Ilene commented, when finished hearing Serena's story. "Did he know?"
"He asked later," Serena replied.
"Sounds like you two were meant for each other," Ilene giggled.
"Mom, we're friends!" Serena laughed with her mother. "Okay...so let's talk business...what did your boss say at the airport?"
"My boss was pretty annoyed, but he agreed because I said I'd work extra shifts," Ilene replied. Serena reached for her mom's hands.
"You didn't have to do that---"
"Anything for you..." Ilene said. Serena's eyes filled, but she quickly blinked them away. Then she smiled. "Okay, so when's the flight available?"
"Now that you mention it...." Ilene reached into her purse and pulled out three tickets.
"Three?" Serena asked.
"Yeah---how else would you be able to give the ticket?"
"By mail?"
"Honey, don't be so sarcastic...I'm giving you two tickets for a) Both of you would travel back to here, and b) you'll meet him."
"Thanks mom," Serena grabbed her mother and hugged her.
"Your welcome..." Ilene's eyes filled a little and hid them within her daughter's long hair.
It was 6:oo am, and Serena just arrived from the airport in Colorado. She was supposed to be in the hospital, and it was also hard to convince Dr. Fuji to give in. But he did, for the sake of Serena's wishes.
"Just remember to take a few medications during the flight---for nausea..." he told her. She agreed, and now, here she was. She hadn't told Darien that she'd be coming.
She went toward his apartment, up the steps, and into room 2B. She knocked.
"Who is it?" Darien's muffled question asked. He opened the door.
"Serena!"
"Hey, hello to you too," Serena hugged him. "Ready to go?"
"Go? Go where?" Darien asked, his out clothes on, but felt like he should be in bed.
"Let me ask you the question also." Serena said. She looked at him from head to toe.
"Uh---oh, my friend Andrew's having a bash on Ponder's Creek," Darien replied.
"You going to go?" Serena asked, a little disappointed. He stepped out and closed the door behind him.
"Well, since you're here...." he chuckled.
"Whatever...guess what I found out?" she asked.
"Enlighten me,"
"I just found out that you're Rei's cousin!"
"You know her?"
"Heck, I'm best friends with her----except that she's like you, tease me way too much," she mused.
"Did you see the resemblance?" Darien chimed in. Then he looked confused and serious. "Aren't you supposed to be in Tokyo? What are you doing all the way out here? Do your doctors know?"
"Surprise," Serena said and posing like a model. She was really sick with fever, but she tried to hide it. Darien thankfully didn't notice.
"Huh?"
"Remember what you asked what I was going to use the money for?"
"Uh---to see me?" Darien asked.
"Right, but, Darien----I'm dying."
Darien stood frozen. Like an ice cube still fresh in the freezer.
"D--dying? B--but how? When?"
Serena could feel her eyes fill. "Come with me to Tokyo..I have to get back as soon as possible."
"But now?"
"Noooo...when you see my funeral, just throw in a flower of surrendering..." Serena joked. She had to lighten up the depression sweeping over them. They had to leave.
"Serena, it's not time to be sarcastic...when's the next flight?"
Serena checked her watch. It took about three days to get there...so maybe about an hour tops. "An hour,"
Darien grabbed her wrist. "Let's go," Serena stopped walking. She put hr hands to her temple. She shook her head then smiled. She had to fake it. No such luck.
"Serena? Serena, what's wrong? Speak to me," He held her in his arms, praying that Serena would be okay.
"Darien, I'm okay---really," She broke free of him and began to walk. "C'mon or we'll be late." Then she didn't know what happened, it was so sudden---she pitched into blackness...last hearing Darien's voice.
"Serena! Serena!"
She floated in darkness, like a wave sweeping over....images of childhood flashing by....
"Dad!" Serena tried to yell...but it was in her thoughts.
"Hello, pumpkin," Ken smiled.
"Where am I? Daddy...I miss you so much---"
"Shh...just close your eyes and remember your fifth birthday?"
"The time you sent Kuri to me...of course I do,"
"Remember that time....just close your eyes...Dad's going to be here all the way...until the end..." his voice drowned through Serena's thoughts. She smiled, and did close her eyes. She felt sick, but with her father was a different matter....
"Serena?"
Serena's eyes fluttered open. She couldn't see clearly of who it was, but she could tell by the voice: it was Darien.
"Darien?" she said.
"Shh...don't talk..." He pulled up a chair and sat next to Serena, holding her hand.
"I...know...I...can't...make...it..."
"Shh...not now...you have to rest and save your strength..." he brushed Serena's hair with his hand, going through each strand.
"I know it's hard to believe but...I know I can't say it later...but..I love you Darien...I've always had...ever since the day I heard you start to tease me..."
"I know..I know..Me too..Serena...I love you too..." he kissed her hand.
"So, is Rei coming over?" Darien asked.
"She did when you went for coffee break," Serena mused. She squeezed his hand. "Now I'm serious, Darien."
"What?"
"Go in my drawer there's a note and a poem I love since like the beginnning of time or something...anyway...when I--well you know--I want you to read it to me...tie it to a balloon I have there on the stand..." she nodded toward the blue balloon.
"I will Serena I will...." he kissed her again, and held on to her hand. He then reached over and kissed her forehead.
"You could kiss my lips too you know," Serena implied.
Darien chuckled, then kissed Serena tenderly on the lips. It felt sweet and warm to Serena, and nice and momentous to Darien. That night at 8:30, Serena died, still clutching Darien's hand, and Ken's soft voice melting through her like jelly...
Around midnight, Darien opened his drawer to retrieve the letter. He stayed in a hotel for he also wanted to mourn Serena's death. He opened an envelope and found a letter:
Dear Darien,
If you read this letter, well that means I'm already in heaven with Dad. Yeah, Dad died when I was a kid, pretty harsh, leaving mom all alone and everything...
Anyway, I told you that I had a poem I loved since 'the beginning or something'.
If we could read the secret history of our enemies,
we should find in each man's life
Sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility.
---Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
This poem is special because when my dad died, I was filled with regret and sorrow. I always wondered that me dying had to do with me being bad in this life; me always hating my dad for things he didn't let me do, for things I wanted but he couldn't allow. I always blamed him for not letting me go to certain places. But when I was on the plane and sitting in bed, I thought about life again. I read this poem and it made me realize that regret wasn't a subject, it was an adjective. In other words, it was more like a piece of ham on a sandwich while the rest was a whole. Without the ham was nothing more than a nonpurposeful thing in life. You could have other choices: turkey, beef, or roast pork, if you'd choose. My point is that spending time with you and knowing you made me see that life has it's happiness, and jokes...The days at Colorado were fun, enjoyful, and momentous. I love you Darien, and I love mom as well as life itself. So when people ask "Serena died so young...she was only sixteen..." they don't know me...they only know my physical appearance...not my heart. I wrote a letter to mom too(---I think she's already cracking up and crying right now---). Take care of her...call her at times to let her know I'm with her...and you.
Tell Rei goodbye for me, and her teases were funny. Tell her--and everyone--that I love them, and that I'll be 'up there' with Dad watching over you guys. Take Care!
P.S. write this poem on the balloon I told you...and in my yard, let the balloon go so I can reach it. All of you can write a message for one day, I'll be back and claim it---I know I will.
Love,
Serena Tsukino
Usagi Tsukino--Your Usako--
(Yeah, my Japanese name is Usagi...lots of people call me Usa...you can call me Usako...)
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Well, what do you think? Sad, isn't it? Send me comments and reviews please! Email me at Jonquil13@hotmail.com!! ^__*!