Being In love with a monster: This fic is written so you see both Brendan and Ste's point of view, it's quite confusing to start with, but it's ok. Not my best. 3 years have past and Ste's moved on, Brendan's still in prison. Chez still feels guilty so organises for him to be broken out of jail. There's a huge twist, but i guess you have to read it to find out.
I've moved on now, that's a good thing..right? I mean, everyone always was said Brendan was no fucking good for me anyway and now, well now i've got everything, haven't i? I got my kids, n Amy and then i've got Andrew. He's nice, i don't need Brendan anymore.
WHY THE FUCK ARE WE IN DUBLIN THOUGH!? ANYWHERE BUT HERE!
Andrew and Ste have what Brendan and him could never. They had everything, but behind those beautiful long eyelashes and that fake smile Ste still pined for Brendan, he wanted to be loved the way Brendan loved him. He want to be held like Brendan held him. He wanted Brendan's lips pressed against his just like they had a few years ago. But Brendan took that bullet and he couldn't take it back.
Miss him, how the fuck could anyone miss that little rat. Rat, isn't he fucking scrawny rat. No, this isn't working. How the fuck can you make yourself stop loving someone..you fucking can't. Doesn't matter how many shags you've had in prison, i'll never forgot Steven. Fucking hell.
Brendan was slowly forgetting all over again what it was like to be loved, how it felt to have that warm fuzzy feeling inside your tummy, he'd experianced it for such a short period of time it was almost like God was teasing him of what he couldn't have. He kept hearing bangs and smashes but i guess that was just prison, right? Few fights here and there. He saw Warren, surprised he didn't kill him.. he just nodded and smiled, weird. But less trouble the better, only got 27 years now. The noises where getting closer
What the fuck is that?
Pressing his head up against the small window in his little prison cell, the door was hit by something. He moved back, and the door flew of its hinges.
Ste and Andrew hand in hand walking over the Ha'Penny bridge, oh Andrew thought it was going to be romantic.. NO! Just fucking remind me of what i could've had. Brendan wouldn't even let me see him in prison, he was so naïve but i love him. How can you love a monster?..How can you stop?
I recognise that hair and the fluffy purple coat, Andrew!..Eyar Andrew! Oh my fucking god, it's Cheryl
CHERYL
OH M GEE, STE BABE! HOW YOU BEEN?
oh, ok i guess, this is Andrew!
hi..
hey, you two together?
mhmm Ste mumbled
Oh Ste..come with me, i need a word!
Meet back at the hotel, Andrew
Yeah, yeaah ok
Ste, babe! I've seen this face before..this i'm happy when you're not. Love, i only want the best for you. You know that.
What the fuck, Cheryl. You've seen me for three seconds and now you're telling me how i am. Guess what, i know my own fucking feelings, Chez
I've paid someone to break Brendan out, i didn't think it was fair, love. I can see it in your eyes, you know? I know you're still in love with our Bren, everytime i say his name your eyes haze, it's like your not here
Cheryl, i tried to forget him, move the fuck on like he told me to. I can't. I need him
Neither of them realized Andrew was stood just round the corner to where they were stood, how where they supposed to know? Dead sneeky that.
Oh, is that right. IS THAT FUCKING RIGHT? SO WHO IS THIS FUCKING BRENDAN? YOU BREAKING HIM OUTTA PRISON, YEAH SEEMS LIKE A TOP LAD THAT..STE! OH, IS HE THE ONE WHO CALLS YOU STEVEN. THE ONE WHEN I SAID IT, YOU ANSWERED ME SAYING 'brenduuun?' DO YOU KNOW WHAT STE FUCK YOU!
ANDREW, WAIT! ANDReeww?
They barge in here, knock me prison cell door down. Not that i'm not greatful, i was getting rather calastra-fucking-phobic but hey ho. Where the fuck we going though? And can they stop grabbing me by my arms and dragging me along, theres loadsa people lying around. Oh fuck, wait are they fucking dead?
Where the fuck are you going?
Cheryl Brady paid us to break you out, fuck knows why? Looks like you deserve to rot in 'ere!
W-w-what?
Yeah, now shut the fuck up! We need to do this as quite as possible.
Cheryl, why? I told you to live your life, forget about me. No, fucking hell, Chez.
Now, i'm in a fucking boot well this is fucking great..where they gonna take me? Not Dublin. Not fucking Dublin, i aren't being fucking reminded of what i can't have no fucking way. This road is so fucking bumpy, hmm i see why Mick made so much noise the cunt.
Chez, i can't see him. But, what if it all happens again. I fall in love with him all over again. What about the kids? Eh, what about Amy?
Ste, babe. I'm not asking you to go on the run together..i'm askin you to see him. To see if you really still love him and well, i know he still loves you.
Mhmm, okay. But i swear if he does anyfing that makes me choose between me or my kids, he knows who'll lose.
I know, babe. He won't.
Brendan by this point was well and truly asleep, eventhough it was so bumpy it was probably one of the quietest places he'd been in the last three years. The car had stopped. He must've been asleep for hours. Footsteps on gravel, thats what he could hear.
Where the fuck am i? Jesus, i seem to be asking that question a lot.
Oh, gonna get chucked out the car now, i'm guessing let the Police find me? Ouch fucking ouchh, you cunt. If my hands weren't fucking tied, you'd be dead.
Bren lifted his head, you kiddin? That isn't Chez..is that Steven?
Steven?..
What, no? Who the fuck are you?
Oh, um sorry.
Okay, mate.
They looked so much like Chez and Steven. I'm fucking seeing things.
Cheryl do we really have to go? I'm proper nervous, like you don't know and what about Andrew, yeah he's probably ripping the whole hotel room apart and i'm making this worse.
Ste, you aren't gonna make things any better if you go back and pretend you love him, are you?
Well, no but-
No buts Ste. Get in the car.
Where we going?
To meet the prison breakers..
Oh, and Brendan?
Mhmm replying with a smirk.
So, i'm thrown in this dark room, yeah great choice Chez. You picked such lovely people. Such lovely fucking people. It's fucking cold, i think my balls are gonna drop off, Jesus Christ. Brendan laid, hands tied, feet tied. Couldn't fucking move.
Chez was well over the speed limit, when the fuck did she become such a criminal? Well, i'm guessing the day she killed her Da but still. Where's Nate? He'd sort her out?
You okay, babe? You look distant.
Yeah, yeah. I'm fine.
Good, because we're here.
R-r-r-really?
Yeah, i'm nervous too, babe.
She didn't look it, she looked over the moon. Just as she has when Seamus first arrived, the same as she had when me and Bren came back..together.
Ste didn't even look like he was meant to be moving, it was almost like his legs were taking control of his whole body. He didn't want to move, but the yearning of Brendan was taking over, he just wanted him to touch him like he once had, kiss him like he had..just be together like they once had.
That's him, isn't it? Fuck prisons been kind to him, them fucking muscles and THAT beard..I missed this Brendan. But he needs his tash, because that's Brendan Brady, isn't it?
Cheryl was already kneeled over him trying to wake him, he was sleepy. You don't get much sleep prison, i guess.
Brendan, babe. It's okay-
Chez, oh fucking hell. Chez, i've miss-
Shush, you must be tired. I've missed you too, Bren, love. I've got a visiter.
I didn't even have visiters in prison.
Yeah, thats 'cos you wouldn't let me see yer would yer?
Cheryl was untying the knots in the rope around his arms, muttering something like why the fuck did they tie him up, cunts.
Steven? No, fuck me. Steven, i've missed you.
Really? Brendan because you wouldn't let me see you, you wouldn't let me call..and well i guess, thats your twisted way of saying you miss me. 'Let's not let him contact me, that'll make me miss'im won't it?' Brendan, you've got a fucking weird way of showi-
Brendan couldn't take his rambling anymore does he know how hard it was for him to no t speak to him, to give him the cold shoulder all he wanted to do was hold him. He thought it was for the best.
That feel of a moustache on my face, well beard now whatever..his like a god.
I've missed this, no fucker in prison could come close.
This is lovely but Bren we need to get you somewhere the Police will notice that it wasn't just an attack, Love.
Fuck off, Chez. Just let me savour this one last kiss.
Ste, kissing back twice as hard he had longed for this moment. Andrew could never give him this, no matter how hard he tried even if he grew a fucking moustache. Brendan was the only person Ste had ever loved.
How do you stop loving a monster? You don't.
I love you, Steven!
Tell me something I don't know..
Brendan woke up with a startle, they'd been another fight. His eyes glazing over again though, and falling back asleep wanting to get back to that ever so realistic dream he'd had, he could hear Ste's thoughts, and his own..and Chez's..it was fucking weird. Curling up, like a child he went back to sleep hoping to get back to his own little world, where everything was good again.
Steven made me believe the world..it can be good again. The only fucking place it is good now, is in my fucking dreams.