Author's Note: This is during Eclipse. Have fun! And REVIEW! :P I feed off good reviews. NOM NOM NOM!
I gazed passionately into Edward's eyes. I knew he was all mine. We were sitting in Edward's bedroom when my stomach started to rumble. My eyes got huge. It was going to happen here and now.
"What whore?" He asked me. Edward calls me mean things but I accept it because he is cute.
"Like Totally BRB!" I yelled, and zoomed off to the bathroom. I took a MASSIVE DUMP. Right there in Edward's house. The toilet filled COMPLETELY up and it got on the walls and everything. I heard sniffing coming down the hall. There the whole Cullen family was staring at me. Then, I realized I left the door open because I'm an idiot.
"OH! So that's what that thing's for. Man. I've been using it wrong," said Emmett.
"GROSS! We will never get this smell out," said Rosalie.
"Why did you have to do this here?" asked Jasper. "Well," I explained. "I have not taken a dump since the beginning of the first book, and that was…what?… over a year ago."
"Bella. I don't love you anymore. You stink. Your good smell is gone. I guess that's what I was attracted to you." I cried, then wiped myself, and got out. I didn't even flush the toilet. Right after I stepped out of the bathroom, Chuck Norris showed up and kicked Edward in the face. Then they got into a fight, and guess who won? CHUCK FREAKIN NORRIS.
I walked outside because Edward didn't love me anymore, and then I made out with a Siberian Husky. Then Jacob showed up. Then I threw up because I thought that the dog I was making out with was Jacob.
Author's Note: A few of may have read this already, but I just made my account instead of using my friend's. Hope you enjoyed it. CLICK REVIEW NOW!