By: Mad Mary Kidd

Parings: 2x4, 3+4

Rating/Warnings: Lime, shonen ai, angst, Duo POV

Disclaimer: I don't own the GW boys, blah blah blah

Intro: In that bit while Quatre's searching for Trowa, when Duo goes to see him. Again, we have no indication of how long Duo spent with the little Arabian...

COMFORT

I rolled over in the bed, accidentally shoving Quatre away from me. He opened one eye and blinked it slowly at me. "Duo?"

"Ain't no-one else here," I said. He blushed, and I wondered why. He hadn't been nearly so shy last night.

"I'm sorry," he said. I cocked an eyebrow. To be truthful, his shyness was starting to make me embarrassed. Me!

"What for?" I asked, trying surreptitiously to cover myself.

"Taking advantage of you. I shouldn't have done that, no matter how lonely I was."

"Hey, buddy. You didn't do nothing I wasn't begging you for," I replied.

He seemed okay with this, though I thought - hoped? - his blush might deepen. He hesitated, biting his lip, seeming to want to say something else. For once I decided to wait the silence out, see what came from it. Sure enough, half a minute later he spoke again.

"Duo, I have to be honest with you," he said, haltingly. "I... I can't be with you."

I knew I'd probably hurt his feelings, but I couldn't help laughing.

"Don't worry about that," I said. Poor kid looked mortified. "Look, I came into this war looking for two things - revenge, and maybe a little comfort along the way. I got one of those, now all I have to do is keep fighting for the other. I'm not looking for true love, and nor did I think I'd found it last night. I know who you're in love with, and I know it ain't me. I can deal with that."

Quatre looked silently down at his fingers, where they grasped a fold in the sheet.

"You're looking for the other pilots, right? Well, I guess sooner or later, you'll run into what's-his-face," I said, watching him out of the corner of my eye. His head snapped up, his expression hopeful, but hardly daring to believe.

"You mean Trowa? He's alive? You've seen him?"

"Yes, yes and yes," I said. "But there's something you oughtta know before you go haring off after him."

"Is he hurt?"

"Kinda. He lost his memory when... in the accident."

He said nothing. Just stared at me, his eyes filling with tears. "I... I did that to him," he breathed.

"No. Zero System did that to him. If Heero can't control it, there's no way this is your fault."

"I let that system manipulate me!" he burst out. "I don't deserve to live..."

I grabbed his wrist just as he tried to fling himself out of bed, probably to fling himself out of the large bay window. The force of our opposed actions shifted the sheet, and suddenly certain parts of me were painfully aware of how naked he was. I ignored them.

"Shut up," I said. "You can't die till you've found him. Didn't Heero tell you that, in not so many words?"

"How did you know that?" he asked, his eyes still shiny with the tears that were starting to run down his cheeks.

"I know a lot of things," I said, loosening my grip on his wrist. His shoulders slumped, and he seemed to give up any ideas he might have had about the window. He was quiet for a long time. Finally, out of the blue, he spoke again.

"So... you knew he was alive, and you knew how I feel about him?"

"Yeah," I said slowly, wondering where this was going.

"And you still decided to sleep with me, knowing that I probably wouldn't do it if I knew Trowa was alive."

"Oh come on," I said, getting angry. "You knew, deep down, he was alive. You were just waiting for confirmation."

"And you waited to give me that confirmation until after you fucked me!"

It was the fact that he swore that got me. Quatre never swears, at least I've never heard it if he did. I was almost speechless, but finally my words came back to me.

"It shouldn't have mattered," I said quietly. "If you hadn't wanted to, you wouldn't have done it either way. You wanted it as bad as I did, so don't try and pin your guilt on me. Anyway, it's not like you cheated, you and Trowa aren't together! And I didn't fuck you," I added, sullenly. "Not literally."

He was quiet again. I sighed, and leaned over to cover his hand with mine.

"Listen, we took a little comfort from each other, there's nothing wrong with that," I said gently. "We got each other off. No big deal. I knew right from the start you'd want to save all the rest of it for him, so I didn't ask for it. You had a good time and came out of it with your virginity unscathed. Be glad. The first time should always be special, and it wouldn't have been with me," I added.

Now he blushed again. "How do you know I'm a virgin?" He asked, a slightly belligerent edge to his voice.

"Because you didn't ask me to fuck you. Maybe I'm arrogant, maybe I'm used to more demanding partners." I thought better of telling him that he oozed sexual innocence and inexperience from every pore.

"Oh." he seemed deflated. I had to stifle a grin.

"Look, you and I are both busy guys, we should probably be doing something about this damn war. Or I should; you've got someone to look for, right?"

He smiled then, and it was suddenly all worth it.

"You're right," he said, and all his childlike innocence, different from the other kind of innocence and something he would never lose no matter how much sex he had, came rushing back.

A not-so-small part of me was glad; for a while there he had seemed to age before my very eyes. Suddenly shy again, he stood up slowly and, without looking at me, started rummaging for his clothes, thrown everywhere along with mine in the heat of the moment last night. I knew he'd be embarrassed if he knew I was watching him, but I couldn't tear my eyes from that lovely, lithe body.

"Aren't you getting up, Duo?"

It was my turn to blush, and he laughed at me.

"I think I'll wait a little while," I said, knowing when to take my lumps. He laughed harder, and finished dressing.

As he reached the door, he turned back and looked at me.

"Duo..."

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

"No problemo, kiddo."

He grinned. "And Duo?"

"Mmm?"

"I hope it works out for you and Heero."

I stared, open mouthed, for once completely poleaxed.

"I know a lot of things too," said Quatre, and smiled as he left.

FIN