Golden Idol
By Sharan McQuack, Launchpad's wife.
Based on the story 'Golden Idol" in the Russian Ducktales website. DuckTales, 1995 ยน 1
Mr. McDuck was frustrated. He had been trying to get the island nation of Gotitmade to trade with him, but was getting nowhere. They had bananas, coconuts, pineapples and rare pearls. They had beautiful and exotic flowers and artworks. There was little they needed and they were not interested in trading with outsiders.
Then Mr. McDuck found out that the island people had lost their greatest treasure, a golden idol, ages ago. They were not only willing to pay a great deal for its recovery; they would do great things for anybody who could get it back for them.
Mr. McDuck made up his mind to get the idol and give it back to them.
()()Then they will not only give me a rich reward, they will be willing to trade with me. All those lovely profits at last!()() Mr. McDuck thought.
So Mr. McDuck took a gold- finding device and called Launchpad and asked Launchpad to fly him to the island nation of Gotitmade.
"Can we come, too?" the Trins and Webby wheedled.
"Why not? It will be educational!" Mr. McDuck said, for he THOUGHT there would be no danger involved.
Maybe he should have known better. Flintheart Glomgold was snooping on Mr. McDuck, as per usual, trying to steal profit-making ideas from Mr. McDee, also as per usual.
It did not take Flintheart long to find out about this or for him to decide to follow Mr. McDuck and horn in on what ever profit was to be made.
"What IS that thing, anyway?" Launchpad asked, seeing the gold-detector.
"It's a gold detector. It finds gold. It's brand new and revolutionary!" Mr. McDuck bragged, proud of his new toy.
"There are other metal detectors." Launchpad said, not quite seeing what the fuss was.
"Ah! But they waste your time with tin and copper and other lesser metals! This one detects only gold, silver and platinum! And it leads you right to those precious metals if they are anyplace close!" Mr. McDuck stated.
"What are you going to do with it? Are we going treasure hunting, again?" Launchpad asked.
"Indeed we are. For a very special treasure. For years, I've been trying to get the island nation of Gotitmade to trade with me. For years, they've refused for there is little they need and they don't trust strangers.
I have heard they lost their greatest ancient treasure, a golden idol and will richly reward whoever returns it to them. I intend to find and restore that idol to them. And ask for them to trade with me as part of my reward." Mr. McDuck explained.
"Launchpad, you will fly us to the Island nation of Gotitmade. Once there, I will use this gold detector to find the idol." Mr. McDuck ordered.
So Launchpad loaded the copter with the stuff he figured they'd need (it's not like he hasn't been thru this sort of situation before) and soon they got into their copter and took off for the island of Gotitmade.
After a long flight, the island was ahead of them. None of them knew that Flintheart was following them in his speedboat, keeping the copter in sight.
"Where should I land, Mr. McDuck?" Launchpad asked.
"Near the shore, Launchpad. According to legend, the Islanders used to use the idol to stop volcano eruptions or tidal waves that occasionally threatened the island. Their high priest would sacrifice the idol, the danger would pass them unharmed and then the idol would mysteriously reappear. " Mr. McDuck began.
"But the last time a high priest attempted this, the idol did NOT reappear as it was supposed to. The island people were furious and the high priest fled for his life. Neither he nor the idol was ever seen again. " Mr. McDuck continued.
"It is unclear if it was a tidal wave or a volcano eruption that threaten the island that last time..." Mr. McDuck said.
"And since the volcano is right near the sea...right near the part of the sea most likely to have tidal waves, that's where we're landing?" Launchpad guessed.
"That's where the idol must have been sacrificed." Mr. McDuck said." I've done some research and the high priest would always cast the idol into the sea. I believe the tide would wash the idol back on shore later...only the last time that did not happen."
"Wouldn't the high priest have just done a trick? Like a magician with a hat and a rabbit? Pretend to '"sacrifice' the idol, then produce it later?" Huey asked.
"Then it wouldn't be missing! Something must have gone wrong!" Dewey replied.
"So...the high priest thought sacrificing the idol would help, thought it would return...but it didn't.' Louie said.
Launchpad flew the copter over the area between the shore and the volcano, till he found a flat, bare area far away enough from the shore to be safe from the tide and he landed the copter there, nice and safe. He unloaded the copter of the gold detector, rope, water, etc. Then they started to search the area between the volcano and the shore.
Mr. McDuck started up the gold detector, trying to find the golden idol. But no matter which direction he pointed the detector, it said the same thing: "NOPE!" " NOPE!' " NOPE!"
"Mr. McDee, don't ya think we better talk to the locals? Get their permission? Ask some questions?" Launchpad asked.
"We do seem to be wasting time, Unca Scrooge." Huey said.
"We don't even know if we're looking in the right place, Unca Scrooge." Dewey added.
"The locals might think we're trying to steal the statue if we don't ask first." Louie added.
So, finally Mr. McDee admitted that looking blindly wasn't getting him anywhere and they better ask permission and get information from the locals.
"Great idea, Mr. McDee!' Launchpad muttered, managing to hide any sarcasm.
But Flintheart Glomgold had been there first and had asked questions. The locals somehow sensed that Flinty intended to find their idol and keep it for himself. But there were greedy locals who were OK with this, as long as THEY got paid and they sold him info....
Most locals wanted their idol back, if only because it was THEIRS. So the locals, especially the ones in charge were warning people to keep their traps shut. Then, Mr. McDuck came and seeing a group of important looking locals, spoke to the most important looking one.
"How!" Mr. McDuck said.
"That's for Indians." the local, who was the "mayor" of the island, replied.
"So it is. You speak English!" Mr. McDuck said, startled.
"So do you." Mayor replied dryly.
When Mr. McDuck started asking questions, the honest locals thought Mr. McDuck was another would-be thief and chased him and the rest of our heroes off.
Our heroes ran into a jungle-like area, and lost the locals in the trees and weeds. Mostly because the locals knew there were chasms up ahead and our heroes did not. Mr. McDuck spotted a large crack in the ground up ahead and warned the others to stop in time. They were all tired and thirsty, so they stopped for a break and some water from their canteens.
Then Launchpad checked out the chasm to see if there were any others they needed to know about. There were several smaller chasms, but only this huge one...and it was so long and thin that it was dangerous enough.
It was hard to see until you were almost on top of it. By then, you could fall into it. And it was steep and narrow. And filled and emptied with ocean water as the tide went in and out.
Launchpad stared at the chasm and on a hunch, asked Mr. McDuck for the gold detector.
"You think the statue is down there?" Mr. McDuck asked.
"If it was supposed to wash back on shore and washed up down in that chasm...." Launchpad suggested.
"It would have gotten stuck down there! The high priest might have thought it would be washed up on the beach...like maybe it was supposed to....He might not have known about this chasm or think of looking here!" Mr. McDuck mused.
He started up the gold detector and pointed it down the chasm.
"YUP! YUP! YUP!" the gold detector said happily.
"I was afraid of that. The one place we DON'T want to be! I know about Murphy's Law if ANYBODY does!" Launchpad sighed.
So Launchpad took out some long, strong rope and tied it to a big, strong tree near the chasm. He then carefully climbed down the chasm, holding tight onto the rope. Launchpad searched the chasm, but saw nothing.
"Hand me down the gold detector, please." He asked.
Mr. McDuck took the gold detector and handed it down to Launchpad, who pointed it at the dirt in the bottom of the chasm. He followed the "Yup"s as they got louder and then Launchpad asked for a shovel. He dug until he found the golden idol and handed it up.
Hardly had he done so, did Flintheart Glomgold, who had been lurking nearby all this time, come running out of nowhere. He grabbed the golden idol and ran away.
"Thanks for doing all the work! I knew following you suckers would pay off!" Flintheart gloated.
Launchpad got so mad, he tried to climb out of the chasm without bothering using the rope. And got stuck in the chasm. Launchpad has the bad habit of being too hasty. By the time the rest of the gang got Launchpad unstuck, Flintheart had gotten into his speedboat and was heading out to sea.
"Flintheart's getting away with the idol! And it's all MY fault! Well, let's see if I can fix my mistake! Let's see how good at shot-put I am!" said Launchpad.
And he grabbed a loose beach rock, took careful aim, and lobbed it at Flintheart's boat. Right smack thru the bottom of Flintheart's boat went the rock. The boat started to sink. Flintheart was wearing a life jacket and could of easily swum to shore...except he insisted on taking the GOLD idol with him.(1)
"Idiot! Drop the idol before you drown! It's gold and it weights a ton!" screamed Launchpad.
"No! It's worth too much!" screamed Flintheart.
"It's worth bupkes (2) to a dead duck!" yelled Launchpad.
And he ran, took off his boots, and jumped into the sea and swam out and saved Flintheart before Flinty could drown. (3)Flinty was STILL clutching the idol, the dope.
Then, the mayor of the Island showed up.
"That's OUR idol." he said.
"NO! It's MINE! I stole it fair and square!" Flintheart said.
"If you try to keep it, you go to jail. " Mayor said.
"We were searching for it so we could give it back to you- only Flinty here stole it from us." Launchpad said.
"You saved his life. At the risk of your own." Mayor said.
"Flintheart is my enemy. But I STILL had to save his life." Launchpad replied.
"Here is the idol. Please reconsider trading with me." Mr. McDuck said, taking the idol from Flintheart and handing it to the mayor.
"Thank you. We will open trade with you. And give you half the reward. But half must go to this man (indicating Launchpad) or you get nothing." Mayor said.
Mr. McDuck realized that the reward would be peanuts to HIM, it was the profits from trading with the Island he was really interested in.
"Fine. Fair is fair." Mr. McDuck agreed.
So the Island traded with Mr. McDuck- as little as it possibly could, at first.
But Mr. McDuck treated them fairly. Never tried to cheat them, always gave them a fair deal. The Islanders soon started to trust him, and traded with him, more and more. Soon, Mr. McDuck was making more money from the island trading than he dreamed he would- simply because he treated them fair and square.
And Launchpad and I appreciated half the reward money. It was a LOT of money to US.
The End.
(1) So I thought the tidal wave in the comic was a tad overly convenient.
(2) Bupkes means "nothing" in Yiddish. (Well, the SPELLCHECK doesn't know the word.)
(3)Launchpad HAD to learn to swim at some point, he's been scuba diving, and you can't do that until you learn to swim very well.