Letters Unsent
By Myriad Dewdrop
Disclaimer: I do not profit from this, I am not JK Rowling.
Summary: After the final battle Harry helps Minerva unseal Severus Snape's quarters. What he finds are more than just memories, they are letters unsent.
XoXOxOXoo
Four hours ago Harry Potter had helped defeat Voldemort, the most powerful dark wizard in the world. Two hours ago he had been asked by Minerva McGonagal to help unseal Severus Snape's quarters in order to search for the rest of the good deeds and secrets the man hid, as well as to clean it out for Minerva, who was to be the new Headmistress and needed the rooms. And now, he was sitting with a pile of letters he had found in a black velvet box upon Snape's bookshelf. The first one that had caught his eye was addressed to his mother, and by the looks of it, it was never sent. In fact, gazing over it now Harry found that the envelope was dated a few months before her murder. Dumbledore must never have told Snape when the protective charm had been put on the Potters, and thus Severus had never been able to get this last message across. Harry opened the letter, and began to read – tears forming in his eyes as he devoured the words.
Lily,
My love for you is absolute. It leaves no room for others. Family, friends – all pale in comparison. I love you. And yet my love is hopeless, I can never have you.
My love is hopeless, but that fact alone cannot stop it. Believe me, I have tried. With fake declarations of indifference in front of mirrors, telling myself time and time again that you should not and do not mean that much to me. Lies, all lies to cover up the plain and painful truth.
The truth is all I want to be is loved. And when I saw you for the first time… When you held your hand out to me and helped me up from the despair that had become my life, I fell for you. I fell for you, and there's no taking that back now, no denying it. You, sweetheart, your smile could lift me out of the worst days of my life. And it has. There is so much you have done for me without even knowing it. Things that no one ever cared to do, not for me anyway. You gave passion to my soul, wings to my heart. And all I wanted from that point on was to make you happy. All I wanted to do was to protect you. Protect you from the pain of the past and anything that could harm you in the future.
My love for you consumes my heart even now. And I know, I know that I should be happy for you. Be happy that you'll be happy with your … spouse. And I am… but maybe, just maybe, my jealous heart believes that I could make you happier than he could. I know I could, I wish I could.
Love, it's the only sickness which is not contagious, although I wish it was. There is no alternative, however, you have made your choice, made it long ago and anything from me now is hopeless.
When I first saw you it seemed like we both needed a friend. And now it seems as days go on my thoughts rarely stray from you, every object, every scent, every sound in the breeze reminds me of you.
And you… as days go on I can only hope that you think of me, that you spare a fond thought in my direction. It is too much to fully hope that you secretly pine for me, even though my sad heart has wished it so.
I love you, dearest. So much that it obstructs every other thought and every other objective in my life.
You mean so much to me, and you always will.
Severus
Harry put down the letter, his eyes traveling over the pile which he had yet to examine. Who were these all to, or from, for that matter? As he blinked the tears away, Harry could not help but feel that he had stumbled upon the secrets of one man's life.