A/N: Oh my God, it's miracle that people hadn't gotten on me yet but I didn't get any comments for anything yet. T_T I guess I deserve that since I didn't upload Jack squat-no offence, Jack-for months like I promised. Still...anyway, here's the first chapter of Random Oneshots and to be frank, this is one out the very few things I have ideas for currently. Enjoy the fic and once again, I'm sorry.

Story Speak

"Rawr."- Normal

'Rawr." - thinking, me speaking to the characters directly, mental talk, etc.

"RAWR!"- emphasis, yelling, etc.

Fanfic Disclaimer: Besides the multitude of plots and OC's, I don't own anything.

Fanfic Warning: I think you all know me well enough to know what's going to appear. Besides the chapters will have their own little warnings.

Chapter Warning: OOCness, yaoi, language and male bitching.

Chapter Summary: A cursed copy of Ocarina of Time gives our heroes and the lone heroine a hard time.

Chapter 1 - Cursed Game 1: Ocarina of Time (Part 1)

If Moka had heard so much bitching from females, then male bitching was a marvel to experience. This had started when Yami bought a copy of Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time from GameStop for E3 Games. However, in spite of it being in mint-condition, the game turned out to be cursed when everyone was sucked into the game's universe. The only way to get out of the game and brake the curse was to free the souls trapped inside while beating the game. Doesn't sound fun, right? Close, but not really. To most of the , this was just like doing a MMORPG version of Final Fantasy (insert game number here) so it wasn't much of a problem until when they reached the part of the game where the hero Link (played by our favorite bishie Yami) gets the all-powerful Master Sword so he can rescue the lovely Princess Zelda (played by Yugi since Anzu's not in this fic and even if she was, she wouldn't have been picked due to her abilty to escape out of places) from the horribly evil badass villain Ganondorf (since no villains who were good enough to play his part were nearby, Vegeta is an anti-hero and Kaiba is a skeptic asshole, the game left him alone) and save Hyrule, being the peace to the land once more. Unfortunately, on the way to the place where the vorpal weapon was being held, the heroes got lost. Now the males aside from Luffy and Tsukune were in a bitching contest with Yami, blaming him for getting them into this mess in the first place. Now the only reason why the rosario wasn't pulled off and Yomi(1) AKA Vamp Moka hadn't come out to defend Yami and putting a stop to this at this point was because Tsukune didn't want a fight to break out, Yami was too busy proving his innocence in the matter(2)and said side of woman theatened to kill and/or mortally wound every person in sight if there wasn't a good explaination for her being summoned (she was getting sick of being called out for no reason and since she rarely had a say, she decided to do what demons do when they were called out for no reason). Besides, during the entirety of the argument/bitch-fest, they were walking(?)on the right path to the temple where the sword lied so when they arrived, Moka briskly power-walked ahead the group and opened the doors for the them.

"We're here!", she announced in sing-song and everyone went silent. Right in front of them, illuminated by the flurencent colors of the stained glass windows, stood the Master Sword on its pedistal.

"There's the Master Sword!", Yami said. Yami and the others ran to the pedestal where the sword stood in its glory. They stared at it, the aura of the weapon weighing upon them like they were in the presence of some ancient and powerful deity. Yami grabbed the hilt and pulled. The sword didn't move an inch.

"Eh?" everyone said with a 'O_O' or 'O_o' or 'WTF?' look on their face. He tried again. Not even a nanoinch moved from the pedistal.

"Oh, for the love and blessings of Ra and the all the mighty deities!", Yami yelled, starting to get frustrated. He pulled and he pulled until his hands and his face turned purple. On the last try, he pulled so hard and fast his hands slipped, causing him to a do a Charlie Brown-esque back-plant, scream included.

"Are you okay?", Moka said, putting Yami's head on her lap.

"I'll let you know once all my pains go away", he said. "I don't get it. The sword is supposed to come out once I ley my hands on it."

"Probably the game or the authoress being a pain in the-", Vegeta started but was cut off.

'Finish that sentence and I'll stop writing, buddy.'

"Who said that?", Yoh said, getting his weapon and going into his badass fighting pose.

'Oh, put it away, honey. I'm not a ghost. I'm the authoress that assholier-than-thou was about to insult.'

"Are you a goddess of some sort Ms...you are a miss, right?", Yami asked.

'DarkPika(insert suffix here). Yes, I am a girl and I guess you can say that.'

"Tell us DarkPika-san. Why are doing this to us?", Moka asked."We have to save out our friend as well as the rest of the trapped souls of the gamers who played this before us."

'I know that. After all, this is the plot that I came up with for the whole chapter and besides, nothing like a challenge to test your strengths, right? Also, this is a two-parter so there's nothing to worry about. ^_^'

"I guess that makes sense", Tsukune said.

'Glad you think so. Look, as much as I would love to chat, I got to finish this chapter. I have months of upload to make up. ^_^; So just pretend I'm not here. '

However, the authoress didn't need to ask twice for the group of heroes went back to their buisness. Anywho...the group had a staring-to tell you the truth, it was mostly glaring-contest with the sword, trying to figure out how to get that sword out until Yoh piped up with an idea.

"Let's a rope around the hilt. Maybe we can pull it out."

The group pulled with Yami's boot pressed against the flat, slanted surface of the pedestal. After a while, the rope broke and sent everyone flying back in recoil. Kaiba was not amused. On the contrary, he was started to get pissed.

"This is getting really stupid," he said. "Let's just leave the damn sword here." Yami rounded on him with a glare that screamed, 'Are you out your mind?'.

"Well, I hope you have plans for the rest of your life because if we don't pull out the sword, we going to end like the game's past victims!", he yelled. The audience rolled their eyes; it didn't take a genius to figure out where this was going.

"I don't even know why you believe this occult nonsense!"

"Oh, cut the crap! You know that all that happen to you was real as day. You're just in that security blanket we humans like to call denial, no pun intended."

Finally, Tsukune had enough and without a word, walked up Moka and muttered an apology to the rosario before pulling it off. Silver overcame bubble gum pink and emerald changed into scarlet as Yomi overshadowed her other half. After the feeling of transformation had passed she glared daggers at Tsukune, who explained the situtation at break-neck speed. She turned her glare to the pedistal and lifted her leg, reading herself for a kick. Yami grabbed said appendage before she could lay down the law. The wise/scared-shitless/wanted to live backed away while the crimson-eyed duo discuss matters.

"Let go."

"No."

"Yami, I suggest you release my leg before I do something we'll both regret."

"Do you know how much damage your kicks cause?"

"How long are you going to remind me about what happened at Kaiba Corp.?(3)"

"I dropped that subject months ago. Anyway, knowing the strength your kicks, you'll break the sword along with the pedistal."

That caught her attention for she paused which Yami took as a sign to let go, the result of that being Yomi slamming a kick to Yami's head. Everyone gasped as the pharaoh's body doing a midair breakdance-like flip before he landed headfirst on the floor, his neck snapping at the pressure. He sat up, snapping his neck back into place and took Yomi's offering hands to help him.

"Ow. I guess grabbing your leg was a pretty bad idea."

"You had no right to do that. Know your place, pharaoh."

The group aside from Tsukune who had a understanding look, Yoh, and Luffy all stared at Yami like he grown two heads. Gokudura broke the silence.

"How in the hell did you surivive that ?"

"Easy. He's not really human", Yoh said. "Since Yami is the embodiment of the gods, add in the powers of the underworld, the Sennen Items and the powers of darkness and you've got an immortal."

"Oh. Anyway, I got an idea of how to get the sword out."

"This is has "bad idea" written all over," Yomi said, looking at the setup in front of her. Surrounding the pedistal were small bombs that looked like mini Bomb-ombs.

"It's going to work, trust me", Gokudura said. "Now these little guys you see here are my Bomb-ombs and they're made to look and work like the real things so they pack quite a punch. Now, whatever you do, don't touch-" Gokudura didn't even get to finish when Luffy poked one of the bombs and it started to tick in rapid speed.

"Ah, I touched one," Luffy said while everyone looked him like he killed somebody important. Yami grabbed a hold of Kaiba and teleported, Vegeta and Yoh following suit. Yomi grabbed Tsukune, hoisted him on her shoulder, grabbed the bomber and the pirate captain before running out of the temple at break-neck speeds just when the bombs exploded. During this whole fiasco, Yomi managed to lay a good sucker punch to Luffy's head.

Soon, the explosions stopped as fast as they started. When the dust and smoke settled, everyone went back inside, not before making sure lay a punch or slap(in Gokudura's and Yami's cases)on Luffy's head while walking in. They saw that in spite of Luffy's stunt, the mafioso bomber's plan worked; the pedestal had cracks from the explosions. Yami grabbed the sword hilt and pulled...

"Uh, guys...? We may still have a problem..."

...only to find that some of the pedestal's remains were on the sword. If Naruto were there, not even he would believe this. Somehow this little dilemma was going to make the game a tad harder to beat...

To be continued...

1) I wanted Vamp Moka to have a name, so I gave her one.

2) In this universe, Yami or Yugi can take off the rosario. Let's face it, if Tsukune gets screwed over somehow, she's helpless.

3) That'll be explained later. Just know that people in denial and vampires make for a VERY BAD combination.