Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any of the characters related to it. So go sniffing around for a lawsuit somewhere else. ;)
xxx
She knew that after Draco invaded Hogwarts, everything would change.
Even before Pansy made the trip to Hogwarts on the Express, she knew Draco wouldn't be seated next to her. She'd be without a single friend when she returned to school. It had been a feeling eating away at her for the lonely summer. Draco had been her one, true friend, and now that he was gone, a piece of her was too.
She'd been lucky to have Draco. It was the only thing she was really sure of.
Along with the rest of Hogwarts, Pansy had watched him deteriorate over their sixth year. She'd watched his form become frail, she'd watched him go from looking indestructible to delicate. She had a front row seat to his silent suffering, and a behind the scenes look to his failure.
His words had become few as the year went on, and his pride faded away entirely. Its absence destroyed him. His absence destroyed her.
"Pansy," he'd said one night in the common room as he held her hand, "why don't you go make some new friends?"
The words burned. "I don't need new friends, Draco. I don't want them." Pansy had shot back without thinking. She'd been flustered, trying to recover from the emotional shock of having Draco call her Pansy. Because hadn't she always been Parkinson to him?
"Fine. Be a stubborn brat." He'd snapped. They'd continued bickering about it until Pansy apologized. It was the last argument she'd ever had with him. It was a month before he stopped fighting for anything.
"Draco," Pansy remembered perfectly. They'd been walking the grounds together. The only reason Draco had come outside was because of Pansy's shrill nagging. She remembered tugging on his arm, trying to get his attention, but he only stared blankly off into space, lost somewhere on the wings of an impossible task.
That was the night that Pansy had realized that Draco wasn't coming back. Not ever. He'd abandoned his own body, and he was no more than a ghost of what he could have been.
And she would have done anything to change that. Anything.
It hurt to think that his smile had forever abandoned his face, and that the curiosity in his eyes had been replaced by emptiness. It wasn't the way she wanted things to be, it wasn't the way they were supposed to be. She was a Parkinson, she was pure, and she deserved a happy ending just as much as the next girl. But she forgot the days of dreaming about a happy ending when Draco forgot about her.
The last thing he'd ever said to her was, I have to do this, I have to do it for my mum. It wasn't so much the words she remembered, but the hollowness of his voice and the absent look in his eye. Determination had finally swallowed him.
She'd always thought of death eating as being a glamorous opportunity, and she was intrigued, ready and willing to burn the scar into her skin that pledged her allegiance to Voldemort like so many before her. It was everything she'd always believed in.
But after Draco joined the Death Eaters, the façade dimmed, and Pansy could see death eating for what it really was.
The darkmark had stolen Draco Malfoy from her, and she wasn't sure if that made her want to walk the other way or step straight into the fire.
xxx
a/n: in honor of the fact that it's Friday I've posted this. yay for Fridays and escaping from unstable Social Studies teachers, lol. If you're in the mood to make my day, review. ;) concrit? suggestions? 'dfsdgsdf'? Anything. thanks.