I do not own Evangelion, they belong to Gainax. Hopefully this is a bit of a better attempt.

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Shinji Ikari was running flat out down the long and endless corridors of NERV. As he passed people, they looked on in confusion as to why the boy was running so fast. However, as to answer their unspoken questions, a second person shot passed them in a blur of red.

"Werden Sie zurück hier Drittes Kind!" Asuka screamed. "Sie haben kleine Scheiße verdorben, werde ich Sie lebend enthäuten und werde Ihre Knochen in Staub mahlen! "

"I said I'm sorry!" He shouted over his shoulder! "Its not like I wanted to see you naked!"

"Oh so I'm ugly now! How dare you! Stop running you Feigling! Seien Sie ein Mann und nehmen Sie Ihre Strafe! "

How did this happen? Well after the 11th angel attacked and infected the main computer system and everything connected to it was corrupted. Everything was effected. Lighting, Ventilation, and even the water. Asuka mentioned the fact that there was no longer any hot water running in the girls show room.

It was that day that the repairs were being done on the shower system, and thus Asuka went to use the boys, begin to impatient to wait the hour. The maintenance team was 'ordered' by Asuka to keep Shinji the pervert out while she was in there. They followed their orders. She however, didn't specify which change room.

Shinji, upon entering the room, wondered why the maintenance guys were grinning. He shrugged it off, took off his suit, and walked to the showers, towel in hand. Now, Shinji, being the native boy that he is, didn't fathom the possibility that there could be another person in the shower. The signs were there: running water, thick steam. It just didn't click in his mind till it was to late.

"That you wonder girl?" Asuka said turning around.

Shinji's whole body was frozen in place, like a dear caught in headlights.

Asuka looked at him in shock, but that changed instantly. Her small snarl and twitching brow were clear indications. It was then he had a moment of pure clarity. He was so fucked.

"Uh...I..." He squeaked.

"Shinji..." She growled.

"..."

"Well...you going to say anything?" She asked, stalking towards him.

"...uh..."

"Time to die," she said rearing her fist back.

It was then Shinji made one of the smartest choices in his life.

He ran.

Ran right out the locker room and down that hall, with Asuka not to far behind, while the massive laughter of repairmen echoed down the halls.

And thus, here he was, running for his life, with the German goddess of Pain and Suffering right behind him. He had lost track of how long he had been running, and how many times he rounded corners long ago. Feeling his limit, he entered a random door and prayed she didn't find him.

"What the hell?"

Snapping his attention in front of him, Shinji saw an American man with dark short hair and green eyes. He had a mild beard, making him look in his late twenties, and was wearing a dark blue coverall.

"...uh ...Who...are...you?" Shinji wheezed.

"Who, me?" the man said pointing to himself. "The names Smith, Chris Smith. Now? Who are you?"

"...Shinji...Ikari..."

"Well holy crap." He laughed scratching the back of his head. "The pilot of Unit-01 uh. Well this is certainly unexpected."

"Uh yea..." Shinji said looking around. "... where am I again?"

"Ah forgive me," he said standing at attention. "I welcome you Mr. Ikari, to the glorious Section-6. NERV Supply Warehouse." He indicated with his arm the towering shelves and endless isles behind him. "Nothing gets into NERV or shipped out without it passing through us. We carry everything from toothpicks to N2 mines. That being said... looks like you could use a pare of pants."

Shinji retied the towel around his waist and blushed while Chris laughed.

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Werden Sie zurück hier Drittes Kind!

"Get back here Third Child!"

"Sie haben kleine Scheiße verdorben, werde ich Sie lebend enthäuten und werde Ihre Knochen in Staub mahlen! "

"You perverted little shit, I'm going to skin you alive and grind your bones into dust!"

Feigling! Seien Sie ein Mann und nehmen Sie Ihre Strafe! "

coward! Be a man and take your punishment!"