In the Waiting Line
By Kami-chan
Song: Zero 7 – In the Waiting Line
Fandom: Weiss Kruez
Pairing: Yohji/Ran
Rating: R
Warnings: Strong yaoi hinting, strong implications of sexual activity, and strong language.
Disclaimers: Don't own Weiss Kruez, don't own the song, bleh bleh bleh…
Notes: This is sort of a stream-of-consciousness fic in Yohji's POV. I see Yohji as being kind of flighty when he's thinking to himself. Sorry, no graphic sex in this one, kiddies. I just heard this song, and thought it SCREAMED Yohji/Ran. Of course, that's what I think about most things. X.x;
---
()Wait in line
'Till your time
Ticking clock
Everyone stop()
I haven't been able to bring any girls home lately. I know, that must sound absolutely shocking. Oh, they were a pleasant distraction for a while, but boredom set in quickly. Set in too quickly for my tastes, really. I appreciate ladies. Well… I like sex at the very least. Ladies are just easy to manipulate. I'll use them and throw them away one by one, just like my cigarettes. Call me a chauvinistic manwhore if you will, that's just the way things go. After Asuka, I can never love another woman.
Woman, however, is the operative word here.
()Everyone's saying different things to me
Different things to me
Everyone's saying different things to me
Different things to me()
After everything I've been through in the past few years, I think I deserve to be a little selfish about things. I shouldn't have to care about other people's feelings. You think I use people, but I've had my fair share of being used. Used, and lied to. It's to the point where I can't really pretend to give a shit anymore. I've had too much taken. I want to take a bit.
And then I look at him. Him, with his blindingly red hair that reminds me so much of the many different shades of blood. Him, with his cutting eyes, the same sickly, violent lilac of the sky before a hurricane. Him, with his porcelain-perfect ivory flesh that I SO want to sink my teeth into. Him with his bitchy, haughty, moody, greater-than-thou attitude about every damn thing.
I want him.
()Woooohh
Do you believe
In what you see
There doesn't seem to be anybody else who agrees with me()
They don't see him like I see him. They don't know how to look beneath the surface like I do. Under his skin, he's begging for attention. Beneath all those angry stares and bitchy comments, he's screaming for someone to force love onto him. He won't go into it easily. I know his past. I know all about his sister, and I know all about Yuushi. He likely has one of those martyr complexes; thinks that everyone he loves winds up getting hurt. Thusly, he distances himself from everyone, afraid to involve himself with any relationship, particularly romantic.
In a twisted way, he's an incredibly caring, selfless person. I admire that.
()Do you believe
In what you see?
Motionless wheel
Nothing is real()
In short, I'm not really sure why I want him. I only know that I want him – again. Oh, he won't admit it to the others. He probably doesn't even admit to himself that it happened. Knowing him, he wants to forget that night ever happened. He liked it. I never disappoint any of my lovers. He gasped, he screamed, he moaned my name. He reveled in it. He reveled in the fact that his naked ass was beneath me, getting fucked into oblivion. I could tell by the look in his eyes.
I wanted him that night, and I took him. There was no resistance. Maybe at first, but once I convinced him that he needed it, he submitted easily. They all do. I was shocked to find that for once in my life, I felt complete. It felt right and natural to hold him, and kiss him, and fuck him. Like that was the way it was always supposed to be. It was a feeling that was immediately addictive, and all I've wanted since then is to feel it again -- to feel him again.
()Wasting my time
In the waiting line
Do you believe in
What you see?()
For a few days, I did feel it. I felt myself in him, I felt him in myself. Stolen moments were had in the stock room sharing heated kiss and mindless sex against the rough brick walls. It was wonderful. I needed this feeling, this completeness. I needed it forever, and I'd jealously guard it to any extent. I even started snapping at the lady customers that got a little too friendly to him. I was like a rabid dog. And in a way, I think he liked it.
Oh but then, what a fatal mistake I made. Three simple words, and suddenly he wanted nothing at all to do with me.
()Nine to five
Living lies
Everyday
Stealing time()
"I love you."
I went to his room that night, and he pushed me away just like the first time. But this time, unlike the first, he kept pushing no matter how I persisted. He glared, he sneered, he even hit me until the point I was so bruised that I had to leave. In a way, this sudden refusal reassured me. It meant he was pushing me away to protect me from himself. It meant that, yes, he loved me too. He probably realized that I knew this on some subconscious level.
()Everyone's taking everything they can
Everything they can
Everyone's taking everything they can
Everything they can()
As long as I know he loves me, I will persist. As long as he keeps pushing me away, I'll pull back even harder. I could care less what he wants. I need him. Why am I the only one in this dysfunctional household that believes it's alright to love someone? Did I suddenly stumble into some strange alternate dimension where no one wants to feel anything? Where no one wants to feel another's skin against their own?
Did I suddenly stumble into America?
()Woooohh
Do you believe
In what you feel?
It doesn't seem to be anybody else who agrees with me()
At any rate, I suppose I'll simply have to wait. Contrary to popular belief, I can wait for things. I'll wait as long as I need to. I'll follow him to the ends of the earth and back. I'll keep stealing kisses from him when no one's watching. I'll make him admit he loves me, whether he likes it or not. I can be just as bitchy and stubborn as he can.
I'll wait forever for something this good.
"Yohji…"
Why is his robe around his ankles?
"I love you too."
()Wasting my time
In the waiting line
Do you believe
In what you see?()
END