Author's note: This is my first attempt at a Twilight fanfic and I do hope you love it. As you may notice, English is not my native and is a third language to me. So soooorrrry if there is some grammar or spelling wrongdoings! and pleease pretty please tell me if there is something. AT ALL.. :D
Background for the story: This is my look on how it could have turned out after Edward leaves Bella in New Moon. It is all in Edward pov.
The song is Storm - Lifehouse and I loooove it looove it.
There are some sensitive language and situations, so if you have problems with adtempting suicide, don't read!
Disclaimer; ofc I don't own Twilight, but I get to play with them! :D
Strom
I never expected to feel like this. I knew that this path I chose would be gruesome, but never did I expect it to be deadly. And I can't even die and still it feels like I'm drowning. These feelings of loneliness and despair are making it hard to draw even one breath and I just want to curl up it my own misery.
How long have I been in this storm?
So overwhelmed by the ocean's shapeless form
Water's getting harder to tread
with these waves crashing over my head
Right now seeing the moonlight across the ocean and sound of waves on the beach isn't calming me down at all. It still feels like my insides are going to tear open and leave me laying here with a hole in my chest. My still heart is broken. "She is better off. I have to believe that she is.. Edward, your to dangerous to be around her." Grate, now I'm even talking to myself. I am going completely insane without her. Without my love.
Suddenly voices and laughter are drifting into my range. I can smell the sweat on their back and their obvious arousal. Fan fucking tastik, humans. Humans on the beach under the midnight moon with other plans than talking. And I haven't fed in a long time. The burning creeps up and into my throat, leaving it almost unbearable. I want to rip their throats out for having everything I want. A low growl erupts thought my teethes and I can feel the venom pool in the back of my mouth. My muscles flexes and I find myself thinking out the best way to approach the loving and unknowing couple walking down the beach. The most effective way to kill them without making a sound.
"You don't want to be the monster baby.." Her voice is crystal clear, like she should be right next to me. I can almost feel her delicate hand trace my face and her sweet breath blow over me. She smell like nothing I've ever smelled. Like roses and lavender. Like heroin to the addictive. Like the one thing that ever matter. Wow. Suddenly all my thoughts on the couple that are staring at me with curious eyes disappear. I get up and start running as fast I can without becoming suspicious and disappear into the room I'm currently renting. She is right; I don't want to be the monster. I don't want to be the thing that lurks in the night. I don't want to be anything but hers. As I pull myself unto the bed the numbness start to fade and I'm expecting the hurt start to tug on the edges of my already rippled still heart. And as the darkness overtakes me, I can't remember the time or what day it is. I can't remember where in the world I am. I can just remember her face, the scarlet color of her face when she blushes and how her lips feels against mine.
If I could just see you
Everything would be all right
If I'd see you
This darkness would turn to light
I slowly return to awareness when the shrilling sound of my phone breaks the silence. She has her own personal ringtone, set by no one else but herself. My sister. My little pixy shining Alice.
"What do you want?" My voice comes out sharper then intended. "Bella" is all breaths out. And now all my senses are red alert. " WHAT!? What happened? Is she ok?!" the rest of my words are stuck in my throat. " You got to get home Edward. She won't last much longer." She is cracking and I don't think anyone can put her back together." She start making a sobbing sound… "I'm losing her and you got to save her." And I took off running. I was running for what all that was in me and running for my life. I stole the first motorcycle I could find and threw myself on it. I would get to her before it was to late. I had to get there.
And I will walk on water
And you will catch me if I fall
And I will get lost into your eyes
I know everything will be alright
I know everything is alright
I took of though the airport in Seattle, trying to locate some form of transportation. Spotting a sleek black Ferrari my mind was made up. Stupid people, thinking that something like that beauty wasn't going to get stolen. Grand theft auto wasn't the worst thing I've ever done and I frankly didn't care. I threw myself into the car and drove off. Hitting a 200 on the highway and pushing it further. In any other settning the sound of the engine would be soothing, but now I only cared about getting there in time. Alice had called and said that I didn't have the time and would start the dry sobbing that we vampires do. We can't cry but we feel the pain, the agony, the utterly emptiness. We feel the air hitch in our throats and the pain in the body. We feel love and probably love better than humans ever would.
Finaly getting to her house I notice that the cruiser is gone. "where the fuck is Charlie?" It make it to her door and up the steps in less than two seconds. " Bella! Love where are you!?" her room is empty, and then the smell hits me like baseball bat to the back of my head. Blood. And a lot of it too. The bathroom. I broke down the door only to fall to my knees.
I know you didn't bring me out here to drown
So why am I ten feet under and upside down
Barely surviving has become my purpose
Cause I'm so used to living underneath the surface
The hitching sound starts in my throat as I lounge forward to the bathtub. The water is deep red because of her blood and her head lolls back against the wall. "I knew it. You had a soul" the words are whisper as she looks at me. "I love you Edward." The words are only mumbles in my arms as I drag her out of the tub. I can hear that her heart is shutting down and that she is on the edge of her life. "SAVE HER!" my thoughts scream at me! Save her! Be selfish! Keep her! And I do, I bite her neck and wrists and directly above her heart, her beautiful heart and I close the wounds with my lips.. And she sighs and look p at me one last time before her body starts to tremble and the fire overtakes her.
If I could just see you
Everything would be all right
If i'd see you
This darkness would turn to lightAnd I will walk on water
And you will catch me if I fall
And I will get lost into your eyes
And everything will be alright
Carlisle is already when I get to the house with Bella. My family had been informed by Alice and her vision. "Let her go son, lay her down on the bed" Carlisle looks at me with those compassionate, fatherly eyes and the constant trembling in my arms are laid down on my bed. I watch her turn and shake in pain, but not a single word escapes her lovely lips. I feel two strong and loving arms hug me from behind. Esme, my mother for all purposes are just being who she is. Love in its human or more correctly inhuman form.
On the third day her heart suddenly stops and the transformation is complete. The whole family is gathered in my room waiting for Bella to open her beautiful eyes. And she is breathtaking. She was stunning before, but the transformation has left her divine. She is goddess. Her brown hair has become more vibrant and her skin is now marble and hard. She is looking like a statue there she lies. Like an honor to the pagan gods of old.
The intake of air is the first thing I hear and its like sleeping beauty is opening her eyes for the very first time. She jumps up from the table and crouches against the wall, and I watch her closely as she makes her new observations. She must be extremely confused. But when it looks like she is going to attack she just straightens up and looks at me. "Edward". It comes out like a whisper "Am I dead? If I am you should say sorry to Carlisle for every doubt you had about having a soul." I can feel my face break out into a big grin. "Bella love, you are not dead. And I will do that."
She looks so confused and scared there she stands. " but I can somewhat remember killing myself." Everyone winch a that word. I step towards her with my arms open "love, I know. That's why you are here. With me, Immortal in all its glory. I couldn't lose you like that; I couldn't live in a world where you did not exist. I love you more than you will ever know." She looks at me like she has never seen me before. And then she steps into my arms and kisses me with all her might and glory. And it is more than I would have dreamed of. There is no holding back more. There is no more hesitation. There is only us.
As we break free from our grasps she says "You've been holding out on me!" and I'm finally home again.