That stupid little mortal! Where in Arda's name did she come from? Oh, I remember.
:Flashback:
"I'm from earth! I don't know how I got here…don't hurt me!"
:End flashback:
We've seen enough of her kind…these…Mary-sues. They all come with hopes of capturing the heart of a certain Elven Prince. Well…I've just about had enough of it!
This one's name is Jaime. And if she doesn't keep her delicate hands off of my betrothed's body…I'll shatter every bone in those "petal soft" hands!
I feign a smile as she walks past, in her own personal world. No doubt in that world she's got my betrothed lying on top of her in a heap of their clothes. The mere thought nearly sends me over the edge to insanity.
I walk through Galadriel's realm in search of my beloved. I don't know how, but Jaime managed to find him before me and had him pinned against a tree. His eyes locked with mine and I heard him scream "Please! My love! Save me!"
That was the last straw. With all the agility I possessed in my Elven body I launched myself into the air doing a somersault and landing on the mortal girls back.
She let out a blood-curdling scream as I tore at her hair with one hand and bashed her head with the other. Somehow she managed to shake me off, running to Legolas for aid and protection. The poor Elf scurried up the tree he had been pinned to, taking shelter in it's concealing boughs. "Legolas! Save me! Love of my life! HELP!" the young girl had no hope of escape. "There's no one to save you now!" I growled. She tried to run off, but I leapt in front of her.
"What's wrong with you?!" she screams. I grabbed her by the collar of one of Galadriel's old dresses and pulled her within mere centimeters of my face, "I am sick and tired of you girls barging into a world where you do not belong and are not wanted!" I threw her down sending her sprawling ever so gracelessly on her rear-end.
She stood up brushing the dirt off of her gown. "I AM wanted here! Everyone loves me! I am nice, and beautiful, and I have a great personality, and Legolas is going to marry me!" A malicious grin crosses my features as an evil laugh escapes my lips. "Legolas…marry you?! Oh! You are so naive! If you had an inkling of sense, you would know that Legolas and I are to be married! You fool!" I pounced on the girl, pinning her to the ground, and grab her by the neck. I started shaking her, so her head smashed into the ground over and over. "Go Uruviel! Wooo! Go for the kill!" I was distracted momentarily by Legolas' shouts of encouragement, but that moment was all it took for Jaime to squirm away and drag me over to a weeping willow. She grabbed a hanging branch and began hitting me with it. I blocked her blows with my arms. I grabbed the branch, as she was about to hit me again, ripping it out of her hands. "AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" From my position on the ground I sprang into an awkward charge tackling the girl.
I landed punch after punch on her "beautiful" face bloodying it up quite nicely. Her teeth and blood were scattered across the grass, when suddenly she disappeared. She just vanished, never to be seen again. Legolas gracefully leapt from the tree. We embraced "I am so proud of you Uruviel." He held me and finally we kissed. We've never had a spare minute to be with each other like this before
A flash of light brought us out of our revelry, and a squeal pierced the air. "Legolas! Oh Legolas! I love you!" Legolas groaned and I started messaging my temples with a sigh, "Valar give me strength! Here we go again…"
end