A/N - This is a short one shot that is intended to be light-hearted and humorous. I've given it an M rating as a precaution. While there is no actual sex, there is lots of sexual references so I decided to place it in the M category so no-one would have any reason to complain about the content. Enjoy!
Despite it being a Saturday morning, Harry Potter and Ron Weasley were sitting in Gryffindor Tower doing something they hated to do; homework. Even though they hated homework, it had to be done since they were in their last year and exams were fast approaching. Unfortunately without their best friend, Hermione Granger, around they were struggling to complete their work.
"This is impossible," Ron sighed, throwing his quill down in frustration.
"We need Hermione," Harry said as he placed his own quill on the table. "She can explain this in a way that makes sense."
"And even if she can't, she'll at least have notes we can copy off," Ron said. "Should we go and see if she'll help us?"
"Yeah," Harry nodded as the pair stood up and packed their work back into their bags. "We're never going to get anywhere without her help."
Picking up their bags, Harry and Ron left Gryffindor Tower and made their way to the head dorms, which was where Hermione was residing this year as Head Girl. When they arrived at the head dorms they knocked, but when they got no answer they used the password to gain entry to the dorms. The common room was empty, and while Harry and Ron were disappointed not to find Hermione they were relieved to find no sign of the Head Boy, Draco Malfoy. While Hermione had developed a solid friendship, which was slowly turning into romance, with her fellow head student, Harry and Ron still didn't get along with the icy blond Slytherin.
"It doesn't look like she's in," Harry said, once they'd checked the small kitchen alcove. "Maybe she's in the library."
"She might be upstairs," Ron suggested, dropping his bag onto the sofa. "It's not the first time we've come round and thought she was out, while she was upstairs all along."
"Yeah, but we promised that we wouldn't go upstairs," Harry said. In exchange for knowing the password to the head dorms, they'd agreed not to go upstairs when they just let themselves in.
"If she's not in, she'll never know. And if she is in, we can say we needed to use the bathroom," Ron replied as he made his way towards the stairs at the far end of the common room.
Dropping his bag beside Ron's, Harry took off after his friend. By the time he reached the tops of the stairs, Ron was peering into a bedroom. Coming up beside his friend, Harry saw it was Hermione's room and it was empty.
"See, she's not here," Harry said. "Let's go and try the library."
Ron nodded in agreement as he shut the door to Hermione's room. Turning to Harry the pair were just about to head back downstairs when they suddenly heard the Head Boy's voice coming from the room across the hallway.
"So, what do you think?"
Harry and Ron froze, thinking he was talking to them, but before they even had a chance to register that the door to his room was closed, a familiar voice answered his question.
"It's big," They heard Hermione say, sounding rather impressed with whatever Malfoy was showing her. "I'm no expert, but are they always that big?"
"It's bigger than most," Draco replied, sounding smug.
"Do you think they're talking about what I think they're talking about?" Ron quietly asked Harry with a grimace.
Before Harry had a chance to answer, they got distracted by events in the Head Boy's room as the conversation continued.
"Do you want to hold it?" Draco asked.
Harry and Ron didn't hear Hermione answer, but they assumed she'd said yes as Malfoy then proceeded to tell her to grip it firmly and run her hands up and down its length.
"It's smooth," Hermione said with a saucy purr to her voice. "And very hard."
"It would be no good soft, would it?" Draco chuckled.
Harry and Ron shared another horrified look at the disturbing way the conversation was heading. They both knew they should be leaving, before they heard even more than they already had, but some strange sense of curiosity kept them glued to the hallway just outside the Head Boy's room.
"Do you want to try?" Draco questioned, after Hermione told him how good it felt in her hands.
"I don't like it," Hermione replied.
"That's because you've never done it with me before," Draco said. Harry and Ron could practically imagine the smirk on the blond's face as he bragged about his sexual prowess.
"I just don't get the appeal," Hermione said, sounding unsure.
"Why don't you try it for size?" Draco suggested.
Harry and Ron shared another uncomfortable look as Hermione said yes, but warned Malfoy not to move.
"I really don't think we should listen to any more," Harry whispered to Ron.
"I know, but I can't tear myself away," Ron whispered back.
"Well, what do you think?" Draco asked, drawing the two Gryffindors attention back to the head students.
"It's not bad, but we're not moving. It's the movement I hate," Hermione replied.
"Give it a chance, Hermione," Draco pleaded. "Just give me ten minutes, and I promise you'll have fun."
"Ten minutes, he mustn't be up to much if that's all he can manage," Ron said as he and Harry chuckled quietly outside the bedroom door.
"I'll think about it over lunch," Hermione said.
"How about after lunch we head outside to do it," Draco said. "Blaise and Daphne are going to be doing it, we can watch them while you decide. You can even speak to Daphne and she can tell you how fun it is."
"Bloody hell, is sex a spectator sport down in the dungeons?" Ron whispered, wide eyed at the mention of Blaise and Daphne.
"Ginny says that all the time, but I'm still not convinced," Hermione argued. "She loves it, and she's always encouraging me to try it."
Ron grimaced at the mention of his little sister, while Harry beamed proudly as he heard Hermione saying how much his girlfriend loved sex.
"For once, I agree with Red," Draco said. "You should give it a go."
"Yeah, but she likes it on her own," Hermione said. "I'm definitely not doing that."
"Has she never done it with Potter?" Draco questioned.
"Once, but she didn't enjoy it," Hermione answered. "She prefers it solo."
Harry's proud grin fell from his face at Hermione's latest revelation. It was true he and Ginny had only slept together the once, a few days ago actually, but he'd been under the impression it had gone well. Ginny had certainly appeared to enjoy herself at the time, and she'd made it clear they would be doing it again. But clearly she was just humouring him, and he wasn't very good in bed.
"I don't know whether to offer you my sympathies, or thump you for bedding my sister," Ron muttered.
"Daphne's like you," Draco said, drawing Harry and Ron's attention back to the head students. "She didn't like it until Blaise came along. Now she can't get enough and is always begging Blaise to do it."
"We can go and watch Blaise and Daphne after lunch," Hermione announced. "If I decide it looks like fun, we can give it a go."
"Excellent," Draco said happily. "You won't be disappointed, I promise. If you agree, you'll have a great time."
"Well, I haven't agreed yet so you can put it away," Hermione retorted.
"Do you not want a final stroke?" Draco asked teasingly.
"Just a quick one," Hermione replied with a chuckle.
Outside the bedroom door, Harry and Ron turned to one another before silently making their way down the stairs in the head dorms. Picking up their bags from the sofa they exited the common room, their minds still reeling from what they'd heard.
"We really shouldn't have listened to that," Harry muttered miserably.
"Maybe not, but I'm worried about Hermione now," Ron said as they began making their way back to Gryffindor Tower to drop their bags off before lunch. "The Hermione I know, wouldn't agree to go and watch some sort of kinky Slytherin sex. And what's with going outside to do it, what's wrong with a bed?"
"Don't ask me, apparently I'm no good," Harry retorted sharply.
"I'm sure Ginny didn't mean that," Ron said soothingly. He didn't like to think of his best friend and sister in bed together, but he did like the fact they were together and he didn't want them to break up over something as trivial as sex. "Maybe the pair of you just need practice. First times are usually pretty bad, I know mine was."
"Don't tell me the story again," Harry said quickly, holding up a hand to stop Ron from sharing the story of his first time with Lavender yet again. Harry had heard the story a few times before, and the last thing he needed right now was to hear Ron moan about how badly he performed the first time he had sex.
"It has a happy ending," Ron huffed. "I know what I'm doing now, and Lavender reckons I'm pretty good. We just pretend that first time never happened."
"Obviously that's what Ginny wants to do," Harry sighed. "She'd rather take care of herself, than be with me again."
"Okay, now there's an image I didn't want in my head," Ron said with a grimace as the pair entered Gryffindor Tower and made their way up to their room.
After dumping their bags, the boys headed down to the Great Hall for lunch. When they arrived they found Ginny waiting for them. Still reeling from what he'd just heard Harry barely grunted a greeting to his girlfriend as he slid into his seat opposite her. Ginny looked at Harry questioningly but when he ignored her, she turned his attention to Ron. Ron merely shrugged at his little sister as he grabbed a plate and began piling it up with food. Not sure why her boyfriend and brother were acting so strangely, Ginny grabbed some food for herself and ignored the looks Harry kept shooting her way when he thought she wasn't looking.
Luckily for Ginny she didn't have to put up with the awkward silence for too long before Hermione entered the Great Hall and made her way towards her friends. Greeting everyone with a large smile, Hermione grabbed a plate and began filling it up with some lunch.
"You look happy," Ginny remarked as Hermione slid into the seat next to her. "Have you had a good morning?"
"It was okay," Hermione replied with a shrug.
"Did he do it?" Ginny questioned with a wicked grin. "Did Malfoy persuade you to try it?"
Harry and Ron's head's shot up at the girl's conversation and eager to hear more they pretended to carry on eating, all the time eavesdropping on what Ginny and Hermione were saying across the table.
"I said I would think about it," Hermione told Ginny.
"I've told you before, you should give it a go," Ginny urged her friend. "It's amazing if you relax and enjoy it."
"After lunch we're going to watch Blaise and Daphne and I'm going to talk to Daphne," Hermione said. "Draco said that she didn't like it before Blaise, but now she loves it."
"You're going to try it, aren't you?" Ginny asked happily. She knew if Hermione was dismissing the idea totally she wouldn't even consider talking to Daphne about it or watching her with Blaise.
"I think I might," Hermione admitted with a small smile. "Draco has promised to keep hold of me the entire time, and I know it's something he really wants to do with me."
"I bet he does," Ginny chuckled. "I bet he's dying to show you all his moves. Boys are like that, any chance to show off."
"He better not try anything fancy. Slow and steady is all I want for now," Hermione said.
Across the table Ron choked on his piece of pie at the revelation that Hermione wanted it slow and steady. Ron's choking fit drew the girl's attention to him, and both Hermione and Ginny looked at him in concern.
"Are you alright?" Hermione asked.
"Yeah," Ron gasped, taking a drink of his pumpkin juice. "My pie just went down the wrong way."
"That's what happens when you gulp your food," Ginny warned her brother, before turning back to Hermione once it was clear that Ron was fine. "About this afternoon, could I come and watch?"
Harry had just taken a swig of his juice when Ginny asked if she could watch Hermione and Malfoy. He was so shocked by the question that the juice came flying back out of his mouth as he spluttered in shock.
"Watch what you're doing, Harry," Ginny scolded her boyfriend as drops of pumpkin juice landed on her empty plate. Luckily she'd finished eating, otherwise her lunch would have been soaked.
"Sorry," Harry muttered, wiping at the mess on the table.
"Anyway, as I was saying before we were interrupted," Ginny said, shooting Harry an unimpressed look before refocusing on Hermione. "Can I watch?"
"I'd rather you didn't," Hermione said, hoping she wouldn't offend her friend. "At least not at first. Maybe when I'm more comfortable and used to it, you can come and watch."
"Maybe I could join in as well," Ginny suggested.
"I'm not doing it on my own," Hermione warned her friend. "The only way I'm doing this is with Draco."
"You can be with Draco, I can go solo," Ginny replied. "Although you must really trust Malfoy to do this with him. I take it this means things are going well between you two."
"Things are going great," Hermione smiled.
"I'm pleased for you," Ginny told her friend. "And I say have fun this afternoon. I know you're nervous, but trust Malfoy and I'm sure you'll have a great time."
"As long as I don't chicken out," Hermione replied nervously. "I'm just not sure. I really don't like it, and I'm not sure if even doing it with Draco will help. What if I still don't like it?"
"If that's the case, you don't have to do it again," Ginny shrugged. "No-one's forcing you, Hermione. As much as Malfoy wants you to do it, I'm sure he won't hold it against you if you decide it's not for you. It won't stop him doing it, he can just do it on his own like he normally does."
Harry and Ron looked at each other in disgust, wondering how Ginny knew so much about Malfoy's sex life. Fortunately for them lunch was over before Ginny had time to elaborate further on what she knew about the Head Boy.
"Come and let me know how you enjoy it," Ginny told Hermione as the girls stood up to leave the Great Hall.
"I will," Hermione promised. "Draco's waiting, I better go."
"Have fun," Ginny called as Hermione rushed off to meet the Head Boy and his two friends. "Are you two coming back to Gryffindor Tower?" She asked her brother and boyfriend, who were standing watching Hermione chatting with the Slytherins.
"No, we've got something to do," Ron replied, before Harry even had a chance to open his mouth.
"What do we have to do?" Harry asked as Ginny headed off up to Gryffindor Tower while Ron led him towards the front doors.
"We have to stop Hermione," Ron said. "I know she and Malfoy are getting involved, but we can't let her partake in his dodgy sex games. We can't let her watch Blaise and Daphne going at it, before doing it herself. I'm worried he might have done something to get her to agree to have a go."
"I guess that's a possibility," Harry said thoughtfully. "I can't imagine Hermione is the type who'd indulge in sex outside. Not to mention we need to stop this before Ginny becomes embroiled in their seedy little world."
"Can we stop mentioning my sister and sex in the same sentence?" Ron grimaced. "I was trying not to listen to her when she was gushing about joining on and being happy doing it solo. That is just too much information for me."
"It's too much information for me," Harry muttered. His ego was still bruised from all he'd discovered regarding his girlfriend and her sexual preferences. "Now, where are Hermione and Malfoy?"
"I have no idea," Ron shrugged. "But they weren't that far in front of us. They can't have gotten far."
Turning the corner, Harry and Ron easily spotted Hermione and the Slytherins standing down beside the Black Lake. Hermione was talking to Daphne, while Blaise and Draco were talking to each other.
"Surely they're not going to do it out in the open?" Ron questioned as the pair snuck forward and hid behind a nearby tree. "Anyone can see if they get down to it here."
"Maybe they're moving on somewhere more private," Harry suggested quietly. "So when are we going to put an end to this?"
"At the minute Hermione seems fine, let's just watch for a bit," Ron said, as the pair peeked around the trees to watch what was about to happen.
Harry shook his head at Ron, knowing his friend was likely hoping to catch a glimpse of Daphne undressing or something like that. Ron may have been with Lavender but Harry knew he liked to look at other girls and he'd mentioned before how hot he thought Daphne was.
"Are you ready?" Blaise called to Daphne.
"Yeah," Daphne called back.
Harry and Ron's eyes widened in anticipation when Daphne went sauntering over to Blaise, while Draco and Hermione settled down on the grass beside the lake. However their anticipation turned to surprise when Blaise reached over to a nearby tree and grabbed a broom that was standing propped up against it. Smoothly he mounted his broom and helped Daphne settle in front of him. When he was certain that his girlfriend was wrapped securely in his arms, he kicked off and went soaring into the sky.
"I told you she liked it." Draco grinned at Hermione as they watched a beaming Daphne fly around the Black Lake with Blaise.
"Thank Merlin!" Ron sighed in relief, not realising he'd raised his voice significantly and attracted the attention of the two head students. "They were talking about flying."
"What are you two doing here?" Hermione demanded as she got up and stormed over to where her two best friends were hiding behind a tree.
"We were going for a walk," Harry answered.
"And do we want to know why you stopped behind a tree?" Draco questioned with a raised eyebrow.
"And what did you mean by we were talking about flying?" Hermione questioned suspiciously.
"We may have gotten our wires crossed," Harry admitted sheepishly. "Don't be angry, but we were in the head dorms before lunch looking for help with our homework. We went upstairs and heard a rather disturbing conversation between you two."
"I'm confused," Hermione said with a frown. "What was so disturbing about our conversation? Draco was just trying to persuade me to go for a fly with him."
"You never once mentioned the word fly," Ron argued. "All we heard was how Malfoy had a big, hard one. And how you didn't like it. We assumed you were talking about sex."
"I was showing Hermione my new broom," Draco chuckled.
"And you know I hate flying, I always have done," Hermione tutted. "Honestly the pair of you have minds in the gutter."
"Although if you thought we were talking about sex, why did you think we were outside?" Draco questioned.
"We heard you say that you were going to watch Blaise and Daphne. We didn't want Hermione to get caught up in your perverse sexual kinks so we came to rescue her," Ron said sheepishly.
"Did you honestly think I would watch two people having sex outside?" Hermione asked her friends in disbelief. "That's ridiculous."
"It's a relief, that's what it is," Harry grinned. It was only just occurring to him that the thing Ginny like to do on her own was fly.
"Since you know I'm not taking part in any kinky Slytherin sex, you can go," Hermione said, dismissing her friends. "And next time, I suggest you don't eavesdrop on private conversations."
"Yeah, next time my big, hard one might not be my new broom," Draco smirked at the Gryffindor duo.
"We're off now," Ron said hurriedly, shaking his head to dispel the image Draco had just put into it. "Enjoy your fly, Hermione."
"And we're sorry, we won't do it again," Harry offered before the duo turned around and fled back to the castle in embarrassment.
"That was interesting," Draco laughed as the duo disappeared back indoors.
"It was certainly an insight into Harry and Ron's dirty minds," Hermione retorted. "How did they come to the conclusion we were talking about sex?"
"To be fair there was a fair bit of flirtation and double meaning lacing our conversation in my room," Draco pointed out.
"There was from you," Hermione argued. "I was completely innocent."
"As if," Draco snorted. "You told me my broom was hard and felt good in your hands. That wasn't innocent, that was teasing."
"Maybe I was teasing a little bit," Hermione admitted with a smile.
"There was no maybe about it," Draco retorted. "You were teasing me a lot."
Hermione merely smiled in response as she turned her attention back to Blaise and Daphne in the sky.
"Are you giving it a go?" Draco asked as he wrapped his arms around Hermione's waist.
"Yeah, I'll give it a go," Hermione answered with a nod. "And if I enjoy it, I'll do more than tease you tonight. I'll make you very happy."
Draco grinned in response as he grabbed his broom from where it was standing propped up beside the tree. Mounting it, he settled Hermione in front of him before he whisked her off into the sky, vowing to give her the ride of her life.
The End.