Hi readers. Here's Sake Lullaby, back up and running again. For those of you that don't know, this story was removed not too long ago for being a songfic and going against the TOS. So, to please Xing and the other admins, I deleted the lyrics. The only reason the title is the same is so that old readers will be able to recognize it. Anyway, please enjoy, and don't forget to review afterwards!
Disclaimer: I don't not own Inuyasha. It belongs to Rumiko Takahashi.
"I can't take it anymore Miroku!" screamed Sango, tears of frustration and rage coursing down her face as she headed for the door. He'd cheated on her again, and gossip about the event was spreading like wildfire. Naturally, Sango was the last of the village to find out.
"Sango, you have to believe me," said Miroku, desperately trying to calm her down. "It's not true!"
"How do I know that Miroku?" she asked furiously, her voice slowly rising in volume. "It sounds perfectly likely to me!" Outside, a clap of thunder resounded through the region, helping to emphasis the mood inside the small hut. Miroku was silent, unsure of what to say. He'd seen Sango angry before, but this was something totally different. It wasn't as if she was any more or less angry than he had seen her before; it just felt like something was different, somehow.
At his silence, Sango gave a frustrated yell and threw the door to the hut open, letting rain pour down against the wooden floor. Outside, the rain made the ground slick and sticky with mud.
"Wait Sango!" Miroku shouted, walking toward her in a last, frantic attempt to stop her. "I didn't-"
"No Miroku!" she screamed, glaring at him with an intensity that made him stop in his tracks. "I'm not going to take it anymore! I hate you!" Then, without another look at him, Sango slammed the door shut behind her with a reverberating bang. Miroku wasn't sure if it was the finality of the sound, or the echoing of Sango's words inside his head. But either way, he didn't go after her.
Miroku poured himself another small cup of sake and tilted it to his mouth. The burning liquid trickled down his throat, and he licked his lips. This was how he'd spent the last few weeks. After Sango had left him, he'd immediately turned to the drink to clear his mind and destroy his memories, for it was the only thing he thought could help. It had worked, but not nearly well enough. The morning after, Miroku would always awake to a flaming headache and the memories returning full force, after which he would start drinking again to subdue them.
Miroku hiccuped and gulped, the intoxication slowly starting to force the memories of Sango to ebb away. Dropping the cup, he put the neck of the bottle to his lips and tilted it, gulping the liquor down greedily. As the last drops slid down his throat, the world around him slowly began to blur and spin. Before he realized what was going on, he had fallen to the floor, the empty bottle clanking against the ground. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see the blurry forms of many others bottles that he had successfully emptied that night. At seeing these, what was left of Miroku's sane and conscience mind realized he'd gone too far.
'Strange,' thought Miroku, surprisingly calm for a dying man. 'I always thought I'd die from the Kazanna.' How odd it was indeed that after being ridded of the Kazanna, he would still die young. He looked at his right hand, which had been relieved of the air void not long ago. In it was an ofuda with an untidy note scrawled on the back. He'd written them himself not much earlier in the evening.
As he felt himself slowly begin to slip away, he wondered what he had written. It hadn't been very long ago, but he still couldn't recall what it was. However, as his eyes closed and his heart took one last beat, he remembered it was about Sango.
Sango sat on the grass, staring at the sunrise, the light creeping along the ground and painting the sky orange and pink. Behind her stood the cabin that belonged to Inuyasha and Kagome. Months ago, when Naraku had been killed and the Shikon Jewel fully assembled, Kagome and Inuyasha had made the decision to stay together. God knows it was a long time coming.
"Sango?" Speak of the devil. Sango turned her head to see Kagome standing behind her, a concerned look on her face. "Are you all right?"
"Yes Kagome, I'm fine." Said Sango, giving her friend a reassuring smile. Kagome had been worried about Sango ever since the Taijya had shown up on their doorstep, soaking wet and irate. After forcing the story out of Sango, Kagome immediately welcomed her to stay as long as she needed to. Though Inuyasha had seemed aggravated with this, he too wished for Sango's wellbeing, even if he wouldn't admit it. "I was just doing some thinking."
"Was it about Miroku?" Kagome asked after a short pause. Sango looked at the ground and slowly nodded. "You miss him?" Kagome persisted.
"I-I think I do." Said Sango, nodding as she spoke. "I think I went a little overboard. I'm not even completely sure that it was true. I just heard what others were saying…and I snapped. It has just happened so much before, I assumed it was true."
"Are you going to go back to the village?" asked Kagome.
Sango looked behind Kagome toward the west. The village was only a few miles away from here, so it would only take about an hour to reach it. Sango would have much preferred to live in the Taijya village when she settled down, but agreed it was far too depressing, even with her kin avenged.
"I…I was actually planning on going back today, after you woke up that is." She said, looking up at Kagome. "You've been so kind and hospitable, I had to thank you before I left."
"Oh no, it was no problem." Said Kagome, raising her hands and waving them in front of her. "We were glad to have you." Sango smiled at her friend. She knew very well that even though she kept to herself most of the time, her presence did interrupt Inuyasha and Kagome's life quite a bit, especially when it came to their love life.
"Well all the same, I appreciate your kindness. Thank you so much." As she said this, she stood and bowed. She stayed in the position for a moment before she returned to a standing position and smiled at Kagome.
"May I come with you Sango?" asked Kagome.
Sango blinked then shook her head. "You don't have to accompany me Kagome. I'll be fine."
"Oh, but I want to come!" said Kagome, almost pleadingly. "I haven't seen Miroku-sama in a long time. Plus, I want to give him a little lecture on how to treat a woman." As she spoke, Kagome starting waging a finger like you would to a child who has misbehaved.
Sango snickered, then nodded. "All right Kagome, just be careful that the lech doesn't grope you. I don't think he's quite gotten over that yet."
By the time they reached their destination, the sun was already high in the sky. However, the orb was masked by gray clouds, making it much darker than it would have been otherwise. The two women walked up over a small grassy hill, reaching the edge of the village. To both their surprise, the area was completely deserted. Sango blinked and looked back and forth as they walked down the dirt path that was the main path through the village. The huts were all empty, and there was hardly a sound to be heard.
'This is odd,' thought Sango, her eyes shifting between the huts. There was no sign of a battle; no blood, no bodies, and the huts still stood, though hauntingly empty. The muscles in Sango's body tensed, ready for whatever would come next. However, that hardly helped to prepare her.
Then, Kagome raised a hand to her ear, listening. "Do you hear that?" she asked, to which Sango merely nodded. Voices, however distant, could be heard, carried to them by the wind.
Sango pressed her back against one of the huts and held up a hand, signaling Kagome to stand back. The miko did was she was told, pulling out her bow and arrow to ready herself. Sango paused a moment, then carefully looked around the corner of the hut.
Not far away, a large group of villagers (quite possibly the whole village) were gathered around and within a single hut, talking to each other frantically. Sango narrowed her eyes, confused, when she realized that the hut was the one that she and Miroku shared.
The crunching of the earth between the two women's feet soon got the attention of the people on the throng's outer ring. As one of them- a man- turned and saw them, his eyes widened and began to shine with a look of dread. As each person turned to face the two women, they did the same. However, none of them were looking at Kagome. All of them were completely focused on Sango. She looked back and forth between the men and women starring at her, confused and suddenly fearful. What had happened to make them like this? Unfortunately, the answer wasn't in her favor.
As the two women reached the front of the hut, where the crowd was thinner, they noticed a large object wrapped in blue cloth lying on the ground. When Sango noticed its size and shape, her stomach immediately twisted in horror. It was both the size and shape of a human body. And if it was in front of her and Miroku's hut…
"Sango-sama…" said one of the villagers at her side. "We're…sorry. We found him this morning. There were bottles of sake all across the floor. It must've been the sake that took him…"
Sango dropped to her knees, her ankles too weak to hold her up. It couldn't be. Miroku had survived the insect poison. He had survived the brutal beatings at the hands of Naraku. He had survived the Kazanna that had killed two generations before him. There was no way he could really be dead…
Slowly, she crawled over to the object and felt through the fabric. A hand…arm…shoulder…Carefully, she unwrapped a bit of the fabric, begging that she wouldn't see Miroku's face. Unfortunately, fate is a cruel master.
Sango's hand shot to her mouth, muffling a sob as it left her lips. The face was unmistakable; it was Miroku. She slowly traced a finger across his cheek, tears gathering in her eyes. Miroku, the man she had waited so long to truly love, was dead. And he died thinking she hated him.
She could hear whispers all around her from the other villagers; malicious whispers. Sango knew what they were saying. They claimed it was her fault that Miroku was dead.
A hand rested gently on Sango's shoulder. "Sango-chan…" said Kagome, her voice filled with sobs as well. "I…I'm so sorry…"
'Don't be, Kagome,' thought Sango as she brushed a bit of Miroku's bangs from his face. 'It's…my fault anyway…'
"Sango-sama…" said the same villager, holding something in front of her. "We found this in his hand."
Slowly, Sango looked up. It was an ofuda, and something was written on the back. Gently, she took the small piece of paper and attempted to read it. When she finally had to deciphered, a tear dropped onto it, smudging the ink.
'Sango,' It read. 'If you're reading this, I've probably left, either physically, or spiritually. Either way, I want you to know that I love you, despite what you may think, and I always will. I pray that we will meet again in the next life.'
Roughly a month later, Sango could be found on her knees in front of Miroku's grave, praying. The wind blew, sending leaves swirling across the ground and throwing her hair into the air. Ominous black clouds began to creep up on the village, a clap of thunder frightening birds from their perches. Sango however, ignored it, and continued with her praying. As she did, tears began to form in her eyes.
"Sango-san?" came the voice of a village woman. The woman, who went by the name Aiko, gently set her hand on Sango shoulder. "It's going to rain soon Sango-san. You should be heading home if you don't want a cold."
Sango sighed and dropped her hands to her sides, opening her eyes. "Thank you Aiko-san," she said, looking up at her and forcing a smile. Unfortunately, Aiko apparently could tell that it wasn't genuine.
"Are you all right Sango-san?" she asked, her voice filled with concern. "You've been in a slump ever since Miroku-san…" she trailed off, not wanting to say anymore for fear of upsetting Sango further. However, the Taijya merely continued smiling her fake smile.
"I'm fine Aiko-san," she said, getting to her feet and brushing her knees off. "But thank you for asking."
In truth however, Sango was far from fine. Miroku's death was her fault, and she knew it. She'd believed the villagers' gossip instead of his word. Of course Miroku would turn to the drink. It was in his nature to do so. Even if Miroku had died via alcohol poisoning, Sango was the one that put the cup to his lips.
"I'll walk home with you if you'd like, Sango-san." Said Aiko, doing her best to be helpful. Sango shook her head.
"No, I'll be fine on my own," said Sango, bowing. "Thank you anyway Aiko-san." With that, she turned and walked back towards her hut.
By the time darkness fell, Sango found herself laying on her futon, staring straight ahead. An empty sake bottle lay beside her, tipped on its side. It was the last one Miroku had left. At the moment, Sango's breath wreaked of the substance. She'd never drank before, but had heard it calmed the mind and took away your troubles. Apparently though, one bottle wasn't enough to do the trick. Even though she was intoxicated, it made her feel worse, not better.
Her hand was stretched out to lay on his futon, stroking it as memories of him came flooding back to her. Miroku and she had brought their two futons together, and had always slept in each other's presence. She wasn't always happy about it, since she usually disliked waking up to his hand on her backside, even though they were promised to each other.
She remembered what his face looked like as he slept. Of course, there were times when his face was troubled as he slept, for he was only human. However, his face usually held a sweet, genuine smile. It wasn't lecherous, nor was it apologetic, which were the two sorts of smiles he usually gave her. It was a contented, loving smile. She'd once spoken to him about it, why he smiled like that in his sleep. "It's probably because you're near." He had said.
Tears slowly started to fill her eyes once again. Outside, the rain poured down, a flash of lightning illuminating the tiny hut.
'All he ever wanted was a son,' she suddenly thought to herself. 'He'd always wanted a child…I never gave him one…'
She gripped the futon tightly in her hand, twisting it between her fingers. She clamped her eyes shut, and gritted her teeth. "I'm so sorry Miroku," she said into the nothingness. "It's all my fault…I'm sorry…"
She begged for sleep to take her, to take her away from this horrible reality. She could dream of Miroku, be with him, even if only for a short time. However, sleep eluded her, just as it had since Miroku's death.
"I…I can't sleep without him by me…" she said aloud, choking back a sob. Slowly, Sango got to her feet, stumbling in her drunken state. She trudged to the door and slowly pushed it open, immediately becoming drenched from head to toe. The rain was coming down unrelentingly.
'Just like that night…' thought to herself. Slowly, she slid her sandals on, walking out onto the muddy ground. She quickly lost them to the sticky sludge, but being in her current condition, she hardly noticed.
All the windows in the many huts were dark, the residents sleeping peacefully despite the rain. Had anyone looked out their windows at that moment, they would have seen what looked like a zombie trudging down the path, heading to the outskirts of the village.
Swaying dangerously from drunkenness, Sango stumbled across the grass until she came upon the fresh patch of upturned earth that was Miroku's grave. She stumbled and fell onto the ground.
"Miroku," she asked in a whisper, leaning her head against the earth. "Can you hear me?"
She heard no response, and rightly so. However, she still continued speaking.
"I'm so sorry I did this to you Miroku…" she said, biting her lip. She didn't notice when she drew blood. "You shouldn't be here…you shouldn't be dead because of something I said…God Miroku…I miss you."
She thought of all the people that had passed on, leaving her alone in this cold, unforgiving realm known as life. Her father, her family, her kin, her brother, Kilala…everyone. Kagome and Inuyasha were still alive of course, but she couldn't cling to them forever. They cared about her, she knew, but she couldn't possibly continue to trouble them. Besides, she was too tired to keep going.
"Can I sleep now Miroku?" she whispered, stroking the earth gently. "I'm so tired…"
Though normal, sober ears would have heard nothing, Sango smiled and nodded, as if someone had just spoken to her.
"Thank you," she said, shutting her eyes. Then, finally she was able to fall asleep; a sleep she would never wake from. However, she was perfectly happy with that. After all, she had been tired for quite a while now.
Author's Notes::taps her fingers together: This story makes me rather nervous. I'm afraid I might not have dealt with it in the right way. I don't want this to be at all angsty, but I'm afraid that's what I've ended up with. What do you guys think? Please review and tell me.