Chapter 1
CPOV
I sighed, happily, content with my look. I had curled the ends of my once brown, now blonde hair and done my make up perfectly; a little lip gloss, eyeliner, mascara, a bit of eye shadow and blush. Mom tells me that I'm too young to wear makeup, but I can't go listening to her if I want to look good for the boys. I winked at myself in the mirror, at the thought of boys drooling over me. Besides, what would Brittany and Miranda think if I didn't match their standards? They'd kick me out of the club and make my life miserable! Mom will just have to deal with it.
She's just old, she doesn't understand us popular girls! I rolled my eyes in irritation. I got up and looked at the outfit I chose to wear today, which was on my bed. I had picked out a pair of tight, light grey-ish skinny jeans, a plain white low-cut top with my cute royal blue blazer. I grabbed my black high heels, strapped them on, and picked up my blue sparkly clutch. I stared at myself in the mirror. Perfect! I smiled, seriously I must have the most fabulous life ever, all the boys want me, I'm one of the most popular girls in school and no one hates me! I mean, how could they? I'm perfect! I checked myself out in the mirror. Watch out everyone, here come Casey McDonald... I flashed a quick smile at myself in the mirror, Derek won't be able to say no! He's the hottest guy in school and on the hockey team, making him very popular. He's so-Uggh! I can't even explain how cute he is! I sauntered out of my room and down the stairs heading towards the kitchen. My room was the biggest, I convinced Mom to change with me after Dad left. I mean, she's alone in that room, and I have way more stuff than her, so it's only fair if I had it, right? Of course I'm right, I'm always right! She told us that Dad left because they just didn't love each other anymore, when we all know that he was screwing some other woman behind her back, and Mom kicked him out. I'm 15, not 5! I scoffed, good thing that douche is gone. He never actually loved us! But who cares? I certainly don't.
I walked into the kitchen to find Mom sitting at the dining table, writing something on a piece of paper, sipping her coffee from time to time. My 13 year old sister, Lizzie, was plopped on the sofa, cereal bowl in one hand, remote control in the other, eyes fixed on the stuff happening on the T.V. Liam, my 6 year old brother was next to Lizzie, chewing on some bacon also watching T.V. Uggh! Why couldn't I've been an only child! Brittany is so lucky, she doesn't have any siblings and get's everything she wants!
"Morning!" Lizzie greeted.
"Yeah, hey. Mom, do we have any organic cereal?" Mom just stared at me. "You know, the one I told you to get," Nothing. "The one I wrote on the shopping list!" I said, my frustration level increasing every second.
"Oh!" Her face lit up. Finally! "What about it?" My jaw dropped.
"Did you get it?" I said slowly, like I do when I have to explain something to Liam.
"No." She turned back to continue writing. S-she didn't get it! I can't believe this!
"What?! Mom, how could you? I never ask you for anything, and the one time I do, you don't listen! Why?!" I shouted. This is not fair! She get's Lizzie and Liam anything they want, but me? Never.
"Honey, I didn't get it because you don't need that food. Look at you, you're so skinny," She said as she put down her mug of coffee and turned to face me.
"That's a good thing! I should be skinny!" What does she mean? Does she want me to be fat and ugly? Unpopular?
"No. You are too skinny. I got a call from your doctor, and he said you're underweight, that you need to eat and take in more calories. You don't want this to end in anorexia, do you?" My mom said, sadly.
"No, of course not. I just-" I whined.
"Casey. Stop it. You look like a tooth pick, stop worrying about being fat. You're perfect the way you are. I made some bacon and sausages. There's also pancakes, just the way you like them," Mom picked up the plate of pancakes and wiggled it about, trying to tempt me. To tell you the truth, those pancakes do look really good, I'm sure a little bit won't hurt- snap out of it! You need to be skinny like Brittany and Miranda. Remember...
"Forget it. I'll just eat at school," I said, pouring myself some low fat milkshake. I finished it in one go, wiped my mouth with a napkin and stood up to leave.
"Casey. You need to eat. I'm sorry, okay? I was just trying to do something for my children, is that so much to ask?" Mom said, tears rolling down her cheeks.
"Whoa, I wasn't trying to make you cry!" I put up my hands in surrender."You always do this! Stop trying to put the blame on me, it's your fault! Everything is your fault! It's your fault, Dad left, it's your fault, that I get embarrassed about how I'm not as rich as Brittany and it's your fault that no guy will ever even take a second glance at me! It's your fault I'm ugly! You know how? You NEVER listen! NEVER! Are you deaf? Lizzie or Liam say one word, and you're all ears! I say something, the answer's always NO!" I shouted, outraged. I know I hurt her, I could tell from her face, but right now, I couldn't care less!
"Casey, darling-"
"NO! Don't call me 'Darling'," I growled. "I HATE YOU!?" I shouted and ran out of the house, ignoring the calls of my Mom, Lizzie and Liam. I took my phone out of my bag and called Miranda. It rang once before she picked up.
"Hello?"
"Hey, Miranda, it's me, Casey. Where are you guys?"
"Oh! Hi Casey! We're just around the corner, why?"
"I'll tell when you get here. Just please hurry up. Mom's put me in a bad mood, and I haven't eaten anything either." I pulled my bag closer to me and rocked back and forth on my heels.
"Okay, be there in 5. Bye!"
I put my phone back into my bag and waited for the girls. Not even a second later, a Red Porsche, a boxster to be exact, came to a stop in front of me. Woah, that was fast! I quickly hopped into the back and greeted the girls. They asked what happened as Brittany drove to Smelly Nelly's to get breakfast, I explained how I was so happy about the day, how Mom yet again ignored my needs and how she ruined my entire mood.
"Aw! Babe, that's so sad." Miranda said and Brittany nodded her head in agreement.
"Yeah. I'm so lucky that I'm an only child!" Brittany flipped her straight blonde hair out of her face and put on her sunglasses.
"Oh, come on. Having siblings isn't THAT bad," Me and Brittany stared at her, disbelievingly. "...is it?" Miranda asked with doubt and I scoffed.
"No, it's ten times worse! Especially when your Mom only gives attention to your younger siblings, it's like I don't even exist! I really wish I was an only child." I said, sadly.
"Ah, forget it. No need to ruin your mood even more. I'll be right back." Brittany strutted out of the car and into Smelly Nelly's.
"So, you gonna ask out Derek today?" Miranda asked, turning in her seat so she could face me.
"I might..." I bit my lip.
"Well, you better hurry up. You know that almost every girl in school wants him, you don't want to take the risk of him getting together with a different girl, do you?"
"No!"
"Then you better make a move, or someone else will, like Kendra!" I crinkled my nose in disgust.
"That ugly anorexic girl?" Brittany asked as she slid into the driver's seat. She passed us our food and took a sip of her coffee.
"Yup, that's the one." Miranda answered.
"She's nothing compared to Casey. She'll never get someone like Derek! You don't need to worry about nothing."
"But-"
"No! Anyway, Casey you bought the iPod, right?" Brittany interrupted.
"Huh?" What?
"For cheerleading practice?" Oops!
"Shit! I'm so sorry! I forgot to pick it up when I ran out of the house, it's just Mom made me so mad and-"
"Forget it." Brittany rolled her eyes. "Miranda? You have yours, right?"
"Let me check..." She moved things about in her bag for a while. Her face suddenly lit up. "Found it!" She held out the iPod for us to see.
"Yay! I knew I could always count on you Randi" Ouch! That's got to hurt...First Mom and now this... I shook my head.
"So...I heard Max broke up with Sally, making him available now..." I nudged her as we stepped out of the car and started to make our way to the school entrance.
Brittany giggled. At least she's not upset with me anymore! "I know..." She smiled.
Miranda spoke up. "I heard that Amy Collins has a crush on him!"
"Amy Collins has absolutely no chance, right?" I said.
"Right." Brittany smiled as we strutted through the school corridors.
"But, she is pretty, I guess, and her family is loaded!" Miranda gushed with wide eyes.
"Whatever. She's okay looking, and I guess her clothes are good but I have way more money than her." Brittany flipped her hair and opened her locker, smiling at her reflection.
"So Miranda, everything alright with you and Scott?" I asked as I took out the books I would need. Brittany doesn't actually pay attention to our classes, but Miranda and I do, secretly obviously, wouldn't want to ruin our rep, now would we?
"Oh yeah! We are like so destined to be together forever! I mean, could Scott be anymore perfect?"
"Of course!" Brittany and I chorused together. It was the same thing every day, she would ask the same question and we would give her the same answer.
"Now, we just need to get Casey and Derek together!" I blushed as Brittany and Miranda nudged me. The bell rang before I could say something, phew! As we strutted to first period, hips swaying back and forth, I noticed the banner hanging up across the hallway and all the posters scattered all over the place.
"Spring dance is coming soon!" I giggled.
"I know. There's like posters all over the place!" Brittany rolled her eyes.
"Hey, why don't we go get dresses together?" I asked, excitedly.
"No offense and all, you don't really have enough money to go shopping with us..." I frowned.
"I can ask my Mom for money!"
"You really think your Mom's gonna give you money? After that fight?" Miranda raised her eyebrow. Her and Brittany walked off in their own directions to first period. Ouch! That's just plain rude...
I walked into first period, Art. I scanned the room for a empty seat, ignoring the ones near the freaks...Ooh! A empty seat next to Derek! This could so be my chance to make him realize that we're perfect for each other! I fixed my hair, put on a smile and stood in front of Derek. I cleared my throat to get his attention. He looked up. "Is this seat taken?" I fluttered my eyelashes.
"No, feel free to sit down," He said then continued to read a novel that probably had too many words for my brain.
"Soo..."
"Soo..." He repeated, eyes still fixed on the stupid book.
"Taking anyone to the dance?"
"No."
"Want to go with me?" I flashed him a smile.
He put his book down and sighed. "Look, Cassidy-"
"Casey," I interrupted. He looked at me, puzzled. "My name, it's Casey not Cassidy." I said, hurt evident. He doesn't even know my name! I suddenly wished I didn't say anything to him, this is so embarrassing!
"Right, sorry. Look, Casey, you're pretty and all but I'm going to have to say no,"
"B-but why? You just called me pretty and now, I don't understand." I shook my head
"Let's just say, outer appearance is not what I'm currently looking for. I'm really sorry." He gave me a small smile, probably to lift my spirits, then got up and moved next to Trevor, someone on the hockey team.
My mouth shot open. What? H-he just rejected me, me! This must be one of the worst days in my life, first the fight with Mom, then Brittany practically saying I'm poor and now this, the guy I've liked since like ever, just rejected me! Ugh! I hate my life! I took out my book and angrily started taking notes when the teacher came in.
~Time Skip~
"That was an awesome practise today!" Miranda squealed.
We had just come from Cheerleading practise and were walking towards Brittany's car. I still feel upset about the rejection, but I'm much better now!
"I know right, that triple flip I did that ended in a split was awesome!" I said, gloating a little bit.
"I guess, but it was my cartwheel and spilt that pulled it all together!" Brittany smiled, flipping her blonde hair.
Honestly, Miranda and I are awesome gymnasts, but Brittany? Let's just say that 'cartwheel' she's talking about, was a flop. It was so bad that she slipped and ended up in a split. The only reason why she's even on the team is because the head cheerleader, Miranda, is too scared of her to say anything.
"Yeah, that cartwheel was...erm, awesome! We could have never done that, right Randi?" I turned to Miranda with wide eyes and a tight smile, hoping she'd go along with it.
Her eyes lit up with realization and she nodded, frantically. "Yeah! That was like so fab!" I sighed in relief, but gasped when someone bumped into me, making me fall onto the ground, bruising my elbow in the process.
"Hey! Watch where you're going fatass!" Brittany shouted as I rubbed my elbow, hoping it wouldn't bruise.
"My name is Emily." I got up and turned around to face this so called 'Emily' or 'fatass' as Brittany called her. This girl was probably a few inches shorter than me, had chocolate skin, brown eyes, brown curly hair and was very round. By round I mean fat.
"Emily!" Sam, Amanda and Ralph called, running toward her, worry on their faces. Amanda knelt down and checked her over, probably for bruises.
"Are you okay?" Ralph asked her, Emily opened her mouth to speak but was cut off by Sam.
"Do you need me to call the nurse?" She opened her mouth again but it was Amanda who cut her off this time.
"Here let me help you,"
"Yeah, take my hand," Sam offered with a worried smile.
They all looked like they cared a whole lot for each other, and for a moment I felt jealous. Yes, I know, I, Casey McDonald is jealous of a nobody, a unpopular freak. It's shocking! I suddenly realized that I've been standing here doing nothing and opened my mouth to speak.
"Emelia-"
"It's Emily."
"Yeah whatever, Emily. Next time watch where your fat bounces, we wouldn't want to have the entire school in the hospital now would we?" I smirked, raising one eyebrow.
"What is your problem? Do you live to hurt people's feelings?" Sam asked me, determination in his eyes.
"Back off Sammy boy! We weren't talking to you!" Miranda retorted, narrowing her eyes at the fairly good-looking boy. But no one can compete with Derek! Ugh! I need to stop thinking about him!
"Just watch where you're going! Geez, people these days. Look at this, I try giving some advice and instead I'm the one who's getting yelled at. Never try helping anyone! They don't deserve it!" I rolled my eyes in irritation.
"Stop the lecture! We don't need advice from someone like you anyway!" Amanda said and I raised my eyebrow.
"And what's that supposed to mean?" I crossed my arms, getting into my defensive mode.
Amanda shrugged. "Exactly what I said. Why would you take advice from a bunch of bimbos?" Sam and Ralph laughed.
"You did not just call me a bimbo!" Brittany shouted. "Do you know who I am? Brittany Thompson!"
"Yeah, we know who you are!" Ralph rolled his eyes.
"Ugh! Whatever. Let's go, I'm getting a headache at just being in their," I pointed at the group of freaks. "presence. I don't think even aspirin can help me!" I turned on my heel and walked away, making sure to sway my hips and flip my hair.
"That was so cool! You so showed them who's boss!" Miranda gushed.
I smirked. "Well, someone had to put them in place, right? And who's better than us?"
"No one!" Miranda and Brittany chorused together and we all chuckled.
As we left the field, I turned around, smirk in place, to taunt them, but it faltered as I saw Derek reach down to help Emily. The rest of the hockey team stood behind him checking out the other girls that had joined Amanda and co. I quickly turned around. Ugh! What does that thing have that I don't? Apart from the all that fat, nothing!
The ride to my home wasn't anything exciting since I was kind of bummed out about being rejected by The Derek Venturi. I waved bye to the girls and rung the bell, waiting for someone to open the door. I waited, and waited, and waited! All I was stuck with was a whole lot of nothing!
"Ugh! Mom, you're so lazy!" I groaned, loudly. I crouched down and took out the spare key that was hidden under the flower plant. "Typical," I muttered under my breath. I walked in, slamming the door behind me. "Mom!" I shouted. No response. Great! This is officially the worst day of my life! I searched around the house before shrugging and making my way toward the kitchen, dropping my bag onto the blue couch.
I opened the fridge and took out an apple, biting into it. I sighed, contently at the taste. It was a perfect mixture of juiciness and crunchiness. I looked around the kitchen, wondering where Mom was when I noticed a envelope on the table. Curiosity got the best of me and I moved closer to see that it was addressed to me. I smiled, maybe it's money from my Mom! She must have felt guilty with the way she behaved with me this morning. I picked it up and opened it, taking the letter out, but to my disappointment, there was no money.
"Hmm, it looks like the paper, Mom was writing on this morning." I murmured to myself, quietly. I opened it up and started reading, tears already prickling my eyes.
Dear Casey,
You looked so beautiful today, not that you don't always, but you looked extra pretty today. I'm glad that I get to remember you like that forever. Honey, this is-was the last day I got to see your beautiful face, your long blonde hair, though I wish you kept it as brown but never mind, and your bright blue eyes. This was also the last time I got to see Lizzie and Liam, my two babies.
You see darling, when I was pregnant with you, I found out that I had lung cancer. No I'm not blaming you! So don't even think about that. The thing is that I've been fighting it for too long and the Doctors said that there is nothing they can do now. They said I don't have long, 2 weeks maximum. That was 2 weeks ago...
I'm afraid today is the day of my death...
I am so sorry! I knew I should have told you before, but I wanted to spend my last moments with the people I love, not have everyone worry about me every second and never have fun. Please forgive me...
Don't worry about how you're going to get money for food, paying the bills etc. I have left you all the money in my bank account, exactly 1.5 million dollars. I know that you must be shocked because you thought I didn't have enough money, but I wanted to save it for this day. I am so sorry if you ever felt that I didn't love you or that I loved Lizzie and Liam more. I didn't mean for that to happen, I hope you can forgive me for this too.
I will miss you, Lizzie and Liam very much! Casey, darling, please break this to Lizzie and Liam gently, tell them that I will miss them and will always love them. I'm sorry this had to happen, I really am.
Love always and forever,
Your Mother, Nora McDonald.
By now I was full on sobbing. The tears just wouldn't stop! The apple I was eating, had slipped out of my hand, making it roll on to the floor. I gripped the fridge handle and let myself collapse onto the ground. I cried and cried until I couldn't breathe, my vision becoming blurry before I slipped into the darkness...
~Time Skip~
Beep...Beep...Beep...
My eyes fluttered open and I blinked. Where am I? I looked around and noticed Lizzie and Liam asleep on the sofa.
Beep...Beep...Beep...
And what is that beeping sound?! It's giving me a headache! Wait...white and blue walls, beeping sound, the smell of cleaning products? I'm in the hospital! But why?
I snapped out of my daze when the door opened and a man in a white coat, probably the Doctor, and my grandparents stepped into the room. The Doctor smiled and spoke up.
"Ah, Ms McDonald, it seems you're awake,"
'No, I just sleep with my eyes open," I mused, rolling my eyes inwardly. I smiled weakly for my grandparents.
"Okay, I'd just let you know that you're okay and have no injuries. You must have fainted from stress, by the way, I'm really sorry for your loss." He nodded atmy grandparents and left.
I stiffened. It all came back in a flash, the fight in the morning, the rejection, the letter. I think I started to breathe heavily and let some tears roll, because my grandma rushed to my side, grabbed my hand and tried to get me to calm down.
"Sweety, please calm down. Sh, now come on, stop crying," She said, besides crying herself.
"She's gone! She's really gone!" I cried. My grandpa joined us on my left side, putting his arm around me as I let my tears roll.
"I know, darling. I know," Grandpa said.
My cries got even louder as I remembered what I had said to Mom, the last words I spoke before-Ugh! The words replayed in mind again and again.
'I HATE YOU!?'
That's what I had said. But I take it back, all of the bad things I've said, I take it ALL back!
"I don't hate you Mom! I really don't! Please forgive me! I'm so sorry!"
I let some tears go and sniffed...I guess it's true...You really don't know what you had until it's gone...