Before The Beginning
Agent 99, the girl thought happily, with a great sense of purpose, I have finally made it!
The tall, beautiful, well poised twenty-four year old stood in the bedroom to her tiny apartment, staring at her reflection in the full length mirror that hung on the back of the door. She straightened out her new undercover uniform. She was currently dressed in a finely tailored, form fitting chauffeur's outfit. She couldn't help but to smile at the picture of perfection she made. Then, she tucked up her hair into her cap, picked up her suitcases and headed downstairs to hail a cab to the airport.
She stepped outside, and waved for a taxi. Five cabs pulled up to the curb at once, each fighting like crazy to be the one drive the breathtaking girl off into the sunset. She blushed, as the cabbie that won the fair- er, fare- packed her suitcases into the trunk, then opened up the door to the back seat for her. "Hop on in, doll," he told her, in a gruff, but friendly taxi driver tone.
The girl smiled shyly at him, and averted her eyes from all of the manly attention. "Thank you, sir," she replied, sliding into the back seat.
The cabbie grinned at her, then hopped back into the driver's seat, pausing long enough to gloat at the other drivers, because he got the girl, so to speak. He pulled back out into traffic, staring unabashedly at the pretty passenger through the rear view mirror. "So, uh, where to, sweetheart?"
"To the airport, please."
"No problem." The cabbie was quiet for a moment, but finally, his curiosity got the better of him. "So, uh, tell me, honey; I just gotta know. What's with the get up? You goin' to a costume party, or something?"
The young woman glanced down at her admittedly unusual attire and smiled politely. "Actually, it's my uniform. I'm . . . starting a new job today."
"Well doll," the taxi driver informed her, "I don't know how good a driver you are, but you can take me anywhere!"
Smiling in embarrassment, and averting her eyes, 99 replied with a simple, "Why thank you. Thank you very much."
XXX
She tried to keep to herself for much of the rest of the ride to the airport, so she could concentrate, and prepare herself for her mission, but the cab driver just wouldn't let up. He kept chattering away at her, asking her about everything from her job to her family, to how nice the weather had been lately.
99 realized that he was just trying to be nice; make polite conversation (and maybe do a little flirting on the side), but she was understandably distracted, and she responded to him in mono syllables, trying to keep the talking to a minimum. It wasn't easy, however with Chatty Cathy in the front seat, though.
Despite the lack of interest the young woman showed, the taxi driver eagerly helped her out with her luggage and didn't overcharge her fare. He was rewarded with a generous tip and a ravishing smile that frankly made his day. He drove away wearing a huge grin on his face, and whistling a happy tune.
XXX
On the plane ride to New York- her final destination- 99 opened up one of her carry ons. It was a small duffel bag that held a change of clothes, a spare handgun, a make up case and a yearbook with a bunch of loose papers folded up in its cover. She opened the book and carefully unfolded one of the papers. It was yellowing with antiquity, yet the sentiment rang as true today as on the day she'd first received it.
She read it with tears in her eyes.
My Dearest Amanda-Panda,
I am writing to let you know that I will be detained even longer than I'd first anticipated. I know you're disappointed, and I'm sorry, honey-bear, but it just can't be helped. The greeting card company waits for no man!
Right now I'm at a card convention in Australia, but as soon as I can, I will be coming home to you and Mom and I'll bring you back a Koala bear- a toy Koala, mind you, not the real thing. I got into enough trouble with your mother last year, when I brought you that javelina back from Tucson.
Anyway sugarplum, I have to go now. Have to catch that plane! But I'll see you soon. I love you and miss you very much. XOXO
Love Always,
Daddy
99 wiped the tears from her eyes. That letter had been written nearly thirteen years ago. It was the last letter her father had sent. He'd died- rather mysteriously- a week later, while still abroad in Australia. She and her mother had received a government telegram almost a full month later, informing them of her father's passing. Although it was somber, respectful and praised the man's character, the telegram did nothing to describe or explain how her dad had died. It was completely lacking in details, and it would be many years before 99 would discover the true nature of her father's job, and his demise.
But that tragedy had left the eleven year old fatherless, and it had put an extra burden on both her and her mother to keep their farm running. In between homework and baling hay, or pulling weeds in the garden, 99 had never had much time for socializing. Things were tough, but she and her mom never gave up. They managed very well. The farm produced enough vegetables and hay to keep them comfortable. And if that wasn't enough, the compensation checks that kept pouring in from the United States government (something that the girl could never figure out), left them rather well to do.
Taking a deep breath, 99 folded up the note- which still smelled of the cologne her father used to wear- and stuck it back into the folds of her yearbook. Next, she retrieved an old photograph of her and her mother, standing in front of their farm. It was taken the day 99 had left to come to Washington. Both she and her mother were smiling- but they were sad smiles. Though 99 was glad to be out on her own, and pursuing a career, she had been terribly depressed about leaving her mother behind- so much so, that she kept pestering the woman to come out with her, so that they could share a nice apartment somewhere in the city. But her mother had vehemently refused. But there was no denying that Mrs. Stevenson was heartbroken. 99 had always been sort of a daddy's girl, but after her husband's untimely death, the child had grown very close to her mother. And now the middle-aged farmwife was devastated to be losing her baby. Still, she was a proud woman. And she refused to leave her home- her husband's home . . .
XXX
Wiping away even more tears from her soft, rounded cheek, 99 returned the old photograph to its hiding place, and found a farewell card to look at instead.
Dear Mandy,
I just wanted to say that we're all going to miss you around here at U.N.C.L.E., but we know that you'll do very well in your new job at Control. We wish you all the best, and should you ever need anything, do not hesitate to ask. I'm just a phone call away.
Your Pal,
Napoleon
This particular note didn't make her want to cry. Only made her smile. She had certainly enjoyed her two years working for U.N.C.L.E. as a Portuguese
translator, but it had gotten too mundane, too fast. She'd craved adventure and excitement. A Portuguese translator craves not these things. And since she plainly wasn't getting enough stimulation in her position there, she was always trying to get her buddy, Napoleon Solo- a fellow U.N.C.L.E. agent who was much higher up in the ranks- to enlist her services on a top-secret mission.
The kind hearted, but condescending Solo, wasn't too keen on sending the pretty young Mandy out to her death, so he continually told her (in a most gentle fashion, of course!) to just be content in her little room in the translator's office. But when she'd almost caused a couple of security breaches, Napoleon finally relented, and sent her off on a bogus mission- one that turned into a very real, very dangerous assignment.
Number 23 (as she was known in the translation department) went into her case with a gung ho attitude, but zero know how. Realizing right away that she was in over her head, Mandy became paranoid and made a lot of mistakes. Yet, despite her fears and inexperience, the girl had managed to do such a good job at thwarting THRUSH- the enemy agency- she was given a commendation and the chance for advancement.
As much as the commendation had given Mandy a boost to her career (as well as her ego), the fact remained that U.N.C.L.E. was a small, close knit organization, and she realized that it would be difficult and slow going trying to climb the corporate ladder there. So, when U.N.C.L.E.'s sister organization, Control, was established, the slightly experienced, but extremely intelligent Mandy Stevenson decided she had no other choice but to transfer.
She had already gone to a primary four-year college, so she was able to forgo most of the basic classes one had to pass before venturing into the more advanced stages of training. In fact, the youngster who would be assigned the most feminine number of the lot- 99- was so gifted, that she breezed through courses that were designed as two to four year commitments in only a year and a half.
99 realized that the career she'd chosen for herself would be a tough one. It would mean that she probably wouldn't have much of a social life- not that she'd ever really had one. 99 had always been something of a bookworm, and in between reading and working on her mother's farm, she'd never had much chance to go out with friends. And boyfriends? Forget it! Amanda Stevenson had been the biggest wallflower ever to graduate from Abraham Lincoln High School.
So, that meant that dating, which usually led to marriage, which usually led to having children was probably out of the question. Although it broke her heart to give up such a dream, 99 knew that she was giving her life to a greater cause than her own happiness. She was working for the happiness of the entire United States of America- and possibly the whole world! And when she thought about it, such a sacrifice would be an honor to give to her country.
Of course, sacrificing her personal happiness wasn't the only thing she was risking. Her very life hung in the balance every day being a spy. It was quite a sobering thought to realize that any given day, any little moment could be her last. But, her strong sense of duty and honor prevailed, and the brave little soldier continued to march on to battle- at least, all through spy school. This being her first big assignment in the real world was a bit more unnerving.
Opening up her yearbook, 99 went to the 90's to look for her picture. She found it easily enough. She stared down at the smiling, fresh-faced youngster in the photograph. Underneath her pretty picture, 99 checked out her stats. Number: 99. Class valedictorian, spring of 1965. Crowned queen of the secret agents' winter prom. Activities include: Knife throwing club; a member in the spy follies group; President of the Control Vamps society. Awards: Most popular trainee of 1964- 65. Highest grade point average. Winner of the What I Want For Christmas essay contest. Voted most likely to succeed. Quote: "Everything that I do; all that I am; it is all for my country, and I will fight to protect it."
Underneath all of that, she saw the inscription made by the Chief of Control himself! It read:
To Agent 99,
I will watch your career with great interest. I'm sure you will go far in whatever you do.
Best Wishes,
The Chief
The little note caused 99 to smile, at the same time, her heart to race. First of all, she was genuinely touched that someone as distinguished as the head of the organization would not only take time out to sign her yearbook, but that he would praise her for the talent he was so certain she possessed. But it also put a fair amount of pressure on the girl to perform well. She was determined not to disappoint the man.
A sudden thought occurred to 99, and she thumbed back through the yearbook to the 80's section, to look up her new contact, Agent 86. She was rather disappointed to find that, in the space where his picture should have been, there was merely an empty space with the words photo unavailable printed on it. She sighed, but decided to find out as much about the man as she could from his list of vital statistics printed below the empty box. From his stats she discovered that Max had graduated the semester before her at the top of his class- after a full six years of schooling! It also noted that he'd gone through school with the help of his best friend, Agent K-13. They'd joined and graduated Control's academy at the same time.
It further said: Once injured himself proving himself wrong. He was also voted most likely to miss his own wedding, a fact which amused the young Control agent to no end. 99 figured that nobody could be that incompetent, and that it had to be a joke. She read on . . . Activities: None. Clubs: None. Awards: None. Quote: "So many memories."
99 found herself smiling at the prospect of working with Maxwell Smart. Well, he certainly sounds interesting, if nothing else.
Noticing that the plane was beginning its descent, Agent 99 gazed lovingly once more at her collection of paper memories, then closed the yearbook and stowed it away, back in her duffel bag.
XXX
Once she had arrived at the airport, 99 opened up her envelope, given to her by the Chief of Control, and containing her latest instructions on what she was to do during this highly classified and most vital mission. She was told to secure her belongings in an airport locker. She did so. She was also told to locate her limousine out in the parking lot, and have it ready for a quick get away, should the need arise. She complied. Then, she was to find her new co-worker, Agent 86- a.k.a. Maxwell Smart- and identify herself with the password: New York Mets Win Double Header.
99 glanced over at the magazine stand and noticed the headline for the daily news. It read: New York Mets Win Double Header. The girl groaned inwardly. She realized that such a circumstance could prove cumbersome in regards to establishing contact with her partner- whom she had no idea as to what he looked like.
Oh well, no use crying over spilled milk, she thought, forcing herself to recall her training and to remain optimistic about the situation. Just think, Mandy. You'll do all right, as long as you don't panic, and use that little noggin of yours.
Then she squared her thin shoulders with determination and began her search for this mysterious Control agent, who would hopefully assist her in saving the world from certain doom. Come on, now. No dawdling. Just keep your eye out for someone who looks like he could be a Control agent. Stay focused, Mandy. No, not Mandy. Not anymore. Agent 99. You are now and forever Agent 99!
From behind her, she could hear an enthusiastic, and nasal voice ask someone, "Are you 99?"
Spinning round, she could see the back of the man's head, as he bent down to speak with a small boy. "No," she heard the child reply, "I'm six and a half!"
She watched as the short, dark haired man sighed in frustration, and walked away. 99 chased after him. This guy was her contact! He had to be! She had to get to him fast. The fate of the world depended on their meeting. The well being of all of humanity rested upon it. This was their time now. They would become each other's destiny! (99 had no idea how prophetic her proclamation would prove to be.)
Finally catching up to the man, 99 paused long enough to take a deep breath and compose herself. She saw that Agent 86 had noticed the day's headline in the newspaper. As she began her initial approach, she suddenly became acutely aware of her surroundings. This was her first assignment. Her first contact. This was a moment she would never forget. She noticed how busy the airport was today. People were bustling to and fro, trying to catch their flight; looking for loved ones arriving on the noon plane. She could feel the air conditioning pulsing through the vents, keeping her cool on such a warm day. She could smell fresh brewed coffee from the vendor located across the way. And over the PA system, a man's voice was announcing the arrival of flight 17 at gate 8-A. It was then replaced by music, a pleasant pop tune hitting the airwaves.
"This is it," she whispered to herself. "Here goes nothing."
99 watched her new contact intently, her vivid blue eyes never leaving the back of his head. He then turned around. She got her first look at his face; the long nose, the thin lips, the dark, beady eyes . . .
Over head on the PA system, 99 could clearly hear the words to the pop song:
"Today I met the boy I'm gonna marry
He's all I wanted all my life and even more
He smiled at me and then the music started playing
'Here Comes The Bride' when he walked through the door . . ."
Her eyes growing wide, her face turning pale in astonishment, Agent 99 got her first glimpse at fellow Control Agent 86, Mr. Maxwell Smart. She fell in love with him in an instant.
Forcing herself to speak, 99 couldn't hold back the seductive purr in her voice, when she said to him, "New York Mets win double header."
Maxwell Smart didn't bother to look up at her. "I know, I know," he muttered in frustration.
She smiled, in spite of the fact that he hadn't even noticed her. "But you don't understand," she informed him, her tone as smooth as silk, "the final score was 99 to 86."
The man finally looked up at her, and up and up . . . as 99 was extremely tall, with legs that went on a mile. (She'd put herself through college as a fashion model.) Their eyes met- and locked. Max seemed taken aback at meeting such an . . . alluring ally.
They spoke for a moment, then discovered that they were being watched by a KAOS agent. Thinking quickly, they disposed of him, then retrieved the aforementioned Agent K-13 (who turned out to be a big, fluffy pooch by the name of Fang, who had a slobbery tongue, and eyes as big and brown, and as sweet as Max's), then headed out into the streets of New York. It was time to save the world!
Max opened the door, held it for her, all the while, shaking his head. He stared at 99, seemingly confused. Years later, 99 would come to learn that Max had been more than a little unsettled at his undeniable attraction to a fellow Control agent. (But that was another story!)
The End
By Lisa M. S. Stiles 02/2002
For Barbara Feldon, who was not only an awesome Agent 99,
she was an adorable Mandy Stevenson- #23
Notes:
01. This story is to take place directly before the pilot episode Mr. Big, which premiered in the fall of 1965.
02. 99 is wearing a chauffeur's outfit, as she had in the pilot episode. Her age is given as twenty-four. In the 4th season episode "Closely Watched Planes" Max tells a fellow agent that he and 99 are engaged, and that he'd known her since she was "24".
03. The cabbie who drives 99 to the airport was based on the restaurant owner from the 1967 film Fitzwilly, which starred Dick Van Dyke and our very own Barbara Feldon. The restaurant owner flirts with Barbara's character much the same way the cabbie flirts with Agent 99.
04. The line, "Thank you. Thank you very much," was taken from my all time favorite Disney animated movie, Beauty And The Beast (1991). The line was first uttered by Belle.
05. 99 compares the cabdriver to a Chatty Cathy doll, which was a popular doll for girls back in the 1950s and 60s.
06. 99's plane is bound for New York, where her and Max will face Mr. Big, the evil KAOS agent intent on blowing up the Statue of Liberty.
07. The phrase yellowing with antiquity I took from my favorite play, Tennessee Williams' A Streetcar Named Desire.
08. The mention of Tucson (in Arizona) is my place of birth and current home town, as well as the home of fellow Smartian Gina "Wiggles" Woodard.
09. It is learned in the 4th season episode that 99 grew up in the country with her mother on a farm. Her late father- who was described as strange, but a good provider- was outed as a spy.
10. The mention of the organization U.N.C.L.E. was taken from the 1960s TV series The Man From U.N.C.L.E. starring Robert Vaughn as Napoleon Solo and David McCallum as Illya Kuryakin. In 1965, Barbara Feldon guest starred (before starring in "Get Smart") as a wannabe spy, Amanda "Mandy" Stevenson. She worked for U.N.C.L.E. as a Portuguese translator, but always pestered her friend Napoleon for a real assignment.
11. Mandy craved adventure, excitement; a translator craves not these things. Just a take of Yoda's (from The Empire Strikes Back [1980]) "Adventure. Excitement. A Jedi craves not these things."
12. In U.N.C.L.E. Mandy Stevenson's number was "23".
13. The baddies that U.N.C.L.E. fought against was THRUSH. In a 5th season episode (as well as the TV reunion movie "Get Smart, Again!"), it is said that KAOS traded agents with THRUSH. I figured if that were true, then it is highly possible that U.N.C.L.E. and Control would be interchangeable also. Therefore, the over eager youngster named Mandy Stevenson from U.N.C.L.E.- number 23- (portrayed by Barbara Feldon) could easily become the demure and mysterious Agent 99 of Control (also played by Barbara Feldon).
14. The Chief writes in 99's yearbook, "I will watch your career with great interest", is actually a line from 1999's Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace, in which Senator Palpatine- the future Emperor- makes that same comment to little Anakin Skywalker, who is destined to become the evil Darth Vader.
15. When 99 looks up in the yearbook for Max, and only finds photo unavailable, I got from when I was looking through my husband's senior yearbook, only to find that he hadn't shown up for picture day.
16. Max was voted "most likely to miss his own wedding". During the 4th season, he and 99 get married and he almost misses it, due to a run in with KAOS.
17. Simpsons alert: When 99 reads Max's short list of activities, clubs and awards, and then reads his quote: "So many memories", I took from an episode in which Homer was looking over his yearbook and reading his stats. It went activities: none. Clubs: none. Awards: none. Then he sighs wistfully, and says, "So many memories."
18. The password for 99 and Max to meet was New York Mets Win Double Header, but it actually happened, so the newspaper headline read just that. A little boy at the airport reads the headline to his mother, and Max overhears it and takes him for the Control agent he's supposed to meet.
19. The song "(Today I Met) The Boy I'm Gonna Marry" was sung by Darlene Love most likely sometime in the early to mid 1960s.
20. 99 worked as a fashion model to get through college. In the first season episode Shipment To Beirut, 99 mentions to Max that before she became a spy, she was a fashion model- just as, before Barbara Feldon became an actress, she, too, was a fashion model.
21. 99 discovers that Agent K-13 (who seems to be Max's main man) is actually a big, lovable dog who is very sweet, but not too bright.
22. Max is confused by his attraction to this fellow Control agent. During the pilot episode, after a close call, 99 removes her hat, and reveals her hair. Max realizes that she is a girl, and says as much, before leaning in right away to kiss her. Obviously, he'd felt some sort of instant attraction to her, especially to want to kiss her so quickly after discovering her gender. He might have been questioning his sexuality before hand, then. Just a guess.