This is my second Katnick fanfiction and I may say I worked quite hard on this one. Though, I enjoyed writing it so much and I might write more for Katnick. But this is a one-shot, for now.

*spoilers ahead*

...

And I am mad at Suzanne Collins because in an interview (recently) she admitted that she regrets having killed Finnick. I mean, DAMN RIGHT WOMAN! Regrets don't matter now. Finnick being dead breaks my heart :(

Okay, I stop babbling. Enjoy the fanfic! ^^

A/N: English is not my native language so please ignore my grammar mistakes if there are any. Thanks!

Disclaimer: I own nothing but this fanfiction. All credit goes to Suzanne Collins.

I looked at the clock in the creepy white bedroom they put me in—forcefully and saw it was past midnight. I knew everyone was fast asleep because they were spending their days planning the revolution, trying to come up with a strategy that I would accept. Somehow, by their own, they chose me as their leader and I was not having none of that. Being a leader was not my area. And they told me all these just after they took me away from the arena but left Peeta behind. They all said they tried to find him but couldn't. Yet, I didn't believe a word they uttered. Haymitch, my mentor, was a betrayer. Plutarch, the game maker, was a betrayer. Even Gale, my bestfriend, was a betrayer in my eyes. Oh and then there was Finnick Odair. The capitol-darling. He was in this all along. It seemed like everyone knew everything before I knew them myself. Like always.

I got out of my bed, walking out the door on tiptoes. I walked through a dark, long hallway before I reached a certain room I knew. Nobody gave me an actual explanation of what exactly happened back in the arena when I fainted. Everybody knew the truth but didn't even bother telling me. Did nobody see what a mess I've become in the past two-three days that I've lost track of? I kept asking about Peeta's whereabouts and all they did was to say "In Capitol". There was much more to that and nobody told me anything. I deserved to know. Even if I had to learn them from the hard way.

When I reached the door of his room, acting as silent as I could, I stood outside still for a few minutes. I listened my surroundings and heard a few footsteps approaching me. I guessed they belonged to the guards so I opened the door and got into the room without a second thought. I closed the door gently before making my way to his bed. I had no weapons with me whatsoever, so if he wanted to hurt me, he could easily manage that. Plus, I was in no state of protecting myself. The drugs they kept giving me to ease the pain were also sedatives which meant I was feeling in peace all the time whereas I was actually not in peace at all. They kept saying it was for the best but I never once asked them the best for whom? I already knew the answer. The odds were never in our favor.

I sighed and sat on the edge of the bed. I knew it would wake him up.

And it indeed woke him up. He jolted up and tried to grab something beside the nightstand but didn't seem to find it. It seemed like his weapons were taken from him too after all. Appearently, they still saw the sex-slave of Panem as a threat.

Then he saw me and shook his head, letting out a frustrated sigh. "God, you scared me Katniss." He hissed at me as he threw his hand to his hair, ruffling it a little.

I got straight to the point. "I need answers."

He narrowed his eyes, but it wasn't because he couldn't see me because of the dark, it was because he was suspicious. "I don't have them."

His answer was automatic and it let me know he actually had the answers. Well, maybe not all of them but some that'd suffice my needs.

"I know you do have some of them. Please, Finnick, I need to know." I stared intensely at him, trying to break through his walls of mind. I needed him to open up to me because he was the only one left from the arena. I mean, besides Beetee. And he was still unconscious so he couldn't know anything.

Finnick sighed and lay back down on the mattress. He put his arms behind his head on top of the pillow. Then he started staring at the ceiling. He looked like he was searching for the right words to describe what he knew. Suddenly, I felt dizzy. I didn't remember when was the last time they drugged me but it seemed like its effects didn't pass yet. I lay beside him—not so willingly—but I had to. My head was spinning and I felt like something inside me was draining all my energy out of me.

"I knew what they were planning from the beginning but you must have figured that out already." He said to me mockingly. I rolled my eyes and he continued. "Back in the arena, the plan was to take you out. The plan has always been to take you out of there firstly. You were our priority. But we also were supposed to save Peeta. Then… You threw that bow to the sky and we blacked out. I was the one who was supposed to go back for Peeta, Katniss. But when the force field started crumbling down on us…" He didn't finish that sentence and swallowed hard before continuing. "All I remember is you flying to the nearest tree because of the explotion and me running towards you before fainting halfway. The rest is… Well you know the rest. We all know the same story."

He shook his head, clearly not approving of Plutarch and Haymitch's so-called plan for revolution. He looked like he didn't believe them either but he seemed to be more hopeful than I was. Maybe I was wrong to have blamed him for helping Plutarch and Haymitch. He didn't have much of a choice, now, did he?

"I'm sorry for shouting at you the other day." I muttered a silent apology as I remembered how I shouted at him in front of everyone the other day for betraying me. Though I had no idea why I apologized just now. I guess I still saw him as an ally even after all the things that has happened.

He turned his head to me. I saw him smiling but his eyes looked so sad that his smile didn't reach his eyes. He was sad too, just like I was. How could anyone be happy after all the hell we've been through anyway?

"I'm sorry. About Peeta." Was all he said before he turned his back to me, facing the wall. I bit my lip and I climbed out of the bed. It was clear he didn't want me there and he made it obvious by just turning his back on me. I went to the door, my hand on the doorknob. He was feeling guilty for not having protected Peeta and I was not even trying to make him feel better. Did I actually put all the blame on him? Could I do that? No. It wasn't fair.

Then it hit me. My head rewinded all the things he explained to me and I found just one particular sentence going around in my mind: All I remember is you flying to the nearest tree because of the explotion and me running towards you before fainting halfway.

Why… Why did he… "Run to me?"

Oh god. Before even noticing it myself, I talked out loud. I was thinking to myself and it just got out without me realising! Asking this to him was wrong. It would put him in a difficult situation to explain. He already said it anyway. I was their priority. But it was his duty to go find Peeta after the explotion. So why, instead of going back for him, did he run to me?

"Sorry?" he didn't seem to hear what I said. Well, at least not the first part of it since it was just in my head before I uttered the last part accidently.

"I said why did you run to me instead of going back to save Peeta?" I parroted. That's when he sat up on the bed, his legs crossed. His eyes looked at me first and then slided down to my hand on the doorknob. He cocked an eyebrow at me but didn't say anything about that matter.

"You were our priority." Finnick repeated his sentence to me, as if I was too stupid to understand what it meant the first time he said it.

"No. I was their priority. Your duty was to protect Peeta." I talked slowly. It was my turn to act like I was talking to a very stupid person.

Then he got up from the bed and approached me, taking slow steps each time. He walked like a cat. Elegant, slow, charming… No wonder why every Capitol girl choked on their own spits when they saw him.

He stopped when he was right in front of me, mere inches putting us apart. He was tall, so I had to look up to see him fully. Even in the darkness, his sea-green eyes were shining like stars. I felt warmth inside me suddenly. His presence was having a calming effect on me for some reason.

I wasn't one of those stupid Capitol girls but I think I was beginning to understand them slightly. I could now understand why they went to Finnick Odair for comfort. I could now understand why they liked to be around him. He had an aura that was impossible to name. Call it charm, call it lust, call it love, call it elegance… Whatever you call it, it didn't matter. You would always fall for this irresistable guy if you let him get close to you so much.

"I don't know, Katniss." He whispered. We were so close, there was no need to talk loud.

He leaned in closer now, bringing his lips on top of mine. They lingered there for a few seconds before he stepped back from me. "It felt right… to come back for you."

My legs went all wobbly and I knew this time it wasn't because of the drugs. This time, it was because of his closeness and his effect on me. My life sucked, my beloved ones' lives were at stake, my independence was not even a matter anymore because I had none and suddenly all I thought of was Finnick's lips. How they would taste. Their warmth…

His body was a magnetic field. I became certain of it when I found myself closing the few steps between us. It was wrong yet it felt right at the moment.

"Explain." I demanded, trying to keep my voice as steady as possible.

He grinned at me. After a long time, he finally seemed like the boy I met. The mocking, seductive, lively boy who tried to give me a sugarcube when we first met.

"Do you want to know my secrets, Girl on Fire?" he said mockingly and wrapped his one arm around my waist. He pulled me closer to him and I put my hands on his chest, trying to leave a little space between us. Don't even ask why I did that. I would probably never admit that I did it because I wanted to feel his heartbeat underneath my hands. Nope. I did it to put some distance between us. Yeah, let's stick to that.

"Why?" I asked and smiled as good as I could. "Any secrets worth my time?" It was the exact same sentence he told me that day when he offered me the sugarcube. He asked me if I had any secrets worth his time. And I told him I was an open book. I still am an open book, nothing changed about that. But he has always been a mystery.

He chuckled and hugged me tight. I was surprised at first but I got used to his touch almost immediately. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he put his head on the crook of my neck. He sighed and I felt his breath, tickling me a little.

"I'm so sorry, Katniss. I wish there was something I could do to make this better." He whispered.

"You can't do anything about it, Finnick. None of us can." I whispered back. I wasn't blaming him anymore. He lost his friends too. Mags was a big loss for him and now Johanna was being held in the Capitol just like Peeta was. Finnick and I were on the same boat. When Haymitch told me before the games Remember who the real enemy is, I never thought that the real enemy he was talking about was indeed himself. That bastard.

He plented a small kiss to my neck before pulling himself back from me. His arm was still on my waist though. Guess he didn't want to break the contact.

"We will get Peeta back, Katniss. We will get all our friends back, I promise." He said sincerely. And I trusted him.

I nodded as answer to him. "I should head back. Guards might check the rooms out to make sure we're still there. As if we could go anywhere." I muttered but my voice gave me away. I didn't actually want to go back to my room. It was lonely there. Well, sometimes Gale would come to see me but I was mad at him and I had no intention of forgiving him for a long time.

"You don't have to go. As long as you're not out of their sight, they wouldn't mind you staying here."

Why did everything he said had to make sense? Or maybe, I just wanted to think like that.

"Uhmm…" I started off but he crashed his lips to mine, silencing me. At that moment, all my questions were answered. His lips tasted like peppermint and they were cold, becoming warmer when colliding with mine. Though, it felt weird at first. He was skilled, that was for sure and I wasn't really a kissing girl. All that kissing on screen with Peeta were fake and I didn't kiss Gale back when he kissed me so… I felt pretty inexperienced.

But then his other arm wrapped my waist and I noticed he was quite enjoying himself. Then why was thinking about other things? I was kissing Finnick Odair, the dream of every girl and I was thinking about how inexperienced I was about these kinda stuff. I was supposed to enjoy the kiss just like he was.

I tried my best to focus on his lips. And it felt really good. His lips were moving slowly on mine, finding their own rhythm. When he licked my lower lip, I opened my mouth to him, letting him explore. Our tongues touched each other and it ignited a spark within me, which I never knew existed. My hands made their way from his chest to his hair, caressing it. He must have liked it because he smiled against my lips and bit my lower lip gently, his lips sliding slowly to my neck.

I let out a sigh, liking how his lips there felt so good. His tentiveness made me feel special like a diamond.

He kept placing kisses along my jawline and I kept caressing his hair slowly. Then he started walking backwards, also bringing me with him, not breaking the kiss. I found myself on the bed with him, him on top of me. I didn't even know what we were doing or for how long we were going to keep kissing each other. Not that I cared. This feeling was new to me and I liked it. I saw myself as a monster but even I deserved to get away from everything for a few minutes. I deserved to forget about everything for a while.

When he stopped kissing me abruptly, I felt empty. As if he was filling a hole in my soul while kissing me. Maybe in a way, he really did fill a hole in my soul. I just didn't want this to end. But I had no courage left in me to continue this. The reality fell down on me and what I have done with Finnick Odair started sinking in. I kissed him. He was not Peeta and I kissed him. People were dying out there and I kissed him. Just a moment ago I didn't give a shit but now I couldn't feel any more guilty.

"I… I got caught up in the moment, Katniss." He mumbled and he lay on his side, putting some distance between us.

I bit my tongue to not ask him why he stopped. Of course he would stop. The love of his life was being held by Peacemakers. My love of my life was being held by Peacemakers. This wasn't right.

"Me too, I guess." I said and it suddenly turned into an awkward silence between us. It was disturbing. I thought I did something wrong and appearently so did he. But why did it bother me? Why thinking that he thought it was wrong bothered me so much?

Without saying anything, I sat up straight, ready to leave the bed. Then he wrapped his hand around my wrist and stopped me. His thumb was caressing my forehand.

"It's not what you think, Katniss. I didn't stop because I thought it was wrong."

Did I talk out loud again? Seriously?

"How did you—"

"Your face gives you away, Katniss. Remember? You're an open book." He replied and gave me an award winning smile of his. "I stopped because you were thinking it was wrong."

I sighed and closed my eyes, knowing I screwed things up. "This isn't right though, is it?" I asked him, returning his gaze. "I mean, Annie is being held by the Peacemakers and so is Peeta. We can't do this to them."

Once again, I was thinking about them rather than thinking about myself. Maybe I had to be selfish to be happy. But then again, how could I know what happiness felt like? A few minutes ago, I felt happy but was it really happiness I felt? Or was it what people called lust? How did people distinguish them anyway?

"I know. But still… It felt good." he said and held my hand, pulling it to his lips. He kissed my knuckle gently and looked at me. "I haven't felt like that for a long time. Thank you."

I blushed like a teenage girl with a crush and looked away from him. Even in darkness, I bet he could see my tomato-red face. He wouldn't make fun of it of course, but I still didn't want him to see his affection on me.

He let go of my hand and turned around to my side. We were now face to face. I could see his eyes sparkling and a small smile on his lips. Then he wrapped his arm around my waist, holding me closer.

I could feel his hot breath on my face when he gently whispered "Goodnight, Katniss."

"Goodnight Finnick." I whispered back and let my eyelids close.

And for the first time in a very long time, I didn't see any nightmares. That's when I understood Finnick was my anchor. I held onto him to keep holding on to life. It was weird but it made sense because he was the only one who could actually understand me. Seems like the only thing Haymitch did right was to set us up as allies. I would thank him for that later.

For now, I just wanted Finnick by my side. With him, I was stronger. With him, I could bear all this crap. With him, I could actually smile. I held him while sleeping like my life depended on it. Well, at least my sanity depended on it. He was the only one keeping me in one piece.

I needed him more than I needed anyone else. Nobody would understand me if I told them that but it was the truth. The Finnick Odair was my friend—or more than a friend, I dunno—and I appreciated it.

I needn't think any further. I didn't know what was ahead of us tomorrow, I didn't know how we were going to survive this, I didn't know how we were going to save Peeta and Annie… I basically knew nothing whatsoever. But in the light of the new day, we could somehow manage all of them, right? The odds were not in our favor but we had hope.

I stopped thinking finally when I drifted off to a nice, peaceful sleep. Tomorrow is tomorrow. And tonight, I just needed sleep.

xx

Well… I guess this turned out to be a lot faster than I thought it would, but, this is a one-shot so it is acceptable, right?

Anyways, I hope you like it and I'd appreciate it if you left a review about your opinions on this fanfiction. They make my day and they are my inspiration.

Til next time…

xoxo Louvreangel