Hi everyone! So, this one-shot is something I've been working on for awhile, and I finally got around to finishing it. It is in screenplay format, and I hope you enjoy it!

I do not own Merlin.

EXT. MOUNTAIN PASS - NIGHT

MERLIN moves through the pass slowly, leaning heavily on his staff, bones stiff from the cold and old age. He pulls a long white beard back over his shoulder, only for it to whip behind him, and he sighs - it is obvious this is not the first, second, or even third time this has occurred, and he's tired of it - as he leaves the beard be. Merlin pauses by a large boulder, behind which a crystal clear pool gleams crimson under the bloody moon. He glares into its depths.

MERLIN (grumbling):

Blasted light. Blasted moon. Honestly, even the toad couldn't have turned the moon red, but all it took was one wish to a genie from that stupid-arse monkey and boom!

Merlin throws his hands up.

MERLIN (CONT.) (sarcastically imitating a different voice):

Oh, I'm sorry, you wanted a tomorrow? I thought you wanted an apocalypse with a bloody red moon day and night, and the earth crumbling, and the sun gone, and everyone gone! I thought you all wanted to be the last people alive! So sorry I was wrong, wish I could fix it!

MERLIN (CONT.) (switches voices):

Oh wait, I could, except I want to save my last two wishes for something more useful than the end to the bloody apocalypse!

Merlin chokes on the last word and bends, one hand going to his throat while the other dips into the pool. Bringing the water to his parched lips, Merlin drinks, and sighs in relief when the water goes down slowly.

MERLIN (CONT.) (in his normal voice; addressing the pool):

You better not be poisoned or anything. I don't have a clotpole to save me anymore. Though why he hasn't returned yet, I don't know. If Albion ever needed the Once and Future King, it's now. But...

Merlin sighs, glancing around, clearly searching for something, and sighs again.

MERLIN (CONT.):

And there's no bloody place to sit!

Merlin glares at the boulder, too tall for him to climb on. He glares at the pool, bank too unsteady for him to climb down. He glares at a random flower, too delicate for much of anything, and -

MERLIN (CONT.) (softly addresses the flower):

Well hello. How did you get all the way up here?

Merlin glances around again, as if some other living thing might pop out from a hidden cave.

MERLIN (CONT.):

How did you manage to live through the apocalypse, huh? I suppose this pool is to be thanked, which means it's not poisonous after all. What a relief. Unless, of course, it's only deadly to mammals. Or anything but a flower. Or -

A petal, previously barely attached to the flower, splits away from the others, and floats to the ground. Merlin yelps.

MERLIN (CONT.):

What are you doing!? You can't die, you're the first -

Merlin chokes on his words again and, leaning heavily on his staff, thumps to the ground.

MERLIN (CONT.):

There's no actual place to sit, no one will fix the bloody apocalypse, Arthur won't come back to life even though it's surely past time for him to return, and the last living thing on Earth besides me and that stupid-arse monkey and his bloody genie is a dying flower! And there's no one around to help a kindly old man create new curses to use, so I'm stuck with 'stupid-arse' and 'bloody'! I'm bloody tired of saying them!

Merlin's breath hitches, his fingers tighten around his staff, and he stares heart-brokenly at the dying flower. He's so distracted, he doesn't notice as the pool water slowly rises, creating an arch as a blinding red light - the moon reflecting off of golden hair and a matching crown - comes to stand gently on the ground beside him. It takes until the water splashes back down and a familiar voice speaks for him to look up.

ARTHUR:

You could always use 'shitty'. I've been told it became quite popular in the twenty-first century. And honestly, Merlin, were you always this much of an idiot without me?

MERLIN (holding back tears):

You know I was, you cabbage-headed clotpole.