By: Neko-chan
Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing. I wish I did, but unfortunately, I don't. I just write fics about the characters. This is my fourth 'mind' fic that deals with the G-boys. This one is about Trowa.
I wear a mask. People cannot see it, but it's there. It allows my emotions to be hidden, never showing themselves unless I allow it.
My mask is my green eyes, never showing emotion, never allowing people to see what I feel.
I hide behind my bangs, they are my wall between myself and the world. They hide my expression even better than I can, myself.
I am cold. I feel nothing. My life is a play, which I must act out; showing people what they want to see. My portrayal. One moment, I am a Gundam pilot; another, I am an OZ infiltrator. But no one knows how I really am. Not even Cathrine.
I fight, but I do not really believe in my cause. I feel nothing for no one. No one. I have never loved, and no one has ever loved me.
I suppose that I once was loved, but I do not remember. I have never felt that emotion, so I suppose I wouldn't be able to recognize it in others.
I have always been alone, that is how I learned to don my mask. Showing emotions is a sign that you are weak. I am not weak; and, therefore, I do not let my emotions show.
I am cold, nothing fills me. Nothing gives me joy. I am always alone, even when I am with other people; but I am never truly lonely. I have myself, and that is enough.
When I was younger, I felt pain. But now........I never do. This startles Cathrine, especially when she accidently nicks me with one of her knifes. But I never feel the prick, the stinging sensation of pain.
In a way..................
I am alive.
Yet.....................
I am dead.
But always..........
I am empty.