Victoria, the beautiful white queen of the Jellicle Junkyard had an utterly repulsed expression upon her face as her friend Electra rambled on about her tomfriend being such a "knight in shining armor." Tori's nose was scrunched, her brows were knitted and she scowled as she physically felt herself getting nauseous as the young orange, black and brown stripped queen tittered on. Everyone knew that Leccy had the biggest crush on her tomfriend, Mr. Mistoffelees. Victoria, secretly, had a crush on the handsome tuxedo tom as well, but she had never openly admitted it to anyone. The tom himself was in the dark on the subject.
She listened to this queen gush over him every single day and it was beginning to wear on her and turn her sorrow into pure jealousy, if jealousy could even be deemed as such. Today, however, she decided to let her mind wander instead of sitting quietly and politely, listening on and on. How ridiculously cliché of Leccy to pick such a phrase for Mr. Mistoffelees. True, he had saved Old Deuteronomy and he had also saved some queens from "certain death." This, of course, consisted of finding a lost fur brush, removing a thorn from a paw, rescuing Cetty from boredom and carrying Victoria to the medical den when she sprained her ankle. That memory brought a blush to Victoria's tan rimmed alabaster cheeks.
He had taken such care and consideration for her, always making sure that she was comfortable within his arms. She hadn't expected him to carry her, especially considering his small build. There again, he was a dancer and his muscles were more powerful than appearances would tend to believe. Just like his powers, she mused with a soft smile. No one would ever expect such a petite little tom to have such awestriking magical powers, but that was Mr. Mistoffelees.
She sighed dismally, giving Electra a quick nod as the queen asked her some question or another. Ever since the Ball, Victoria had wanted to tell him she had a crush on him. Most cats thought she would have been head-over-tail in love with Plato. He was a great tom, truly, but she could never see him as anything more than a friend. The tom himself had told her that he simply wanted to be friends. He felt he didn't have to try and please her or impress her. They were good friends. Besides, he had been chosen to bring her of age at the Ball and she hardly remembered it. She had been a little too maddened by the moonlight to recall it. It was a very foggy memory. She had much clearer memories of the times Mistoffelees had graced her with his presence. They had even napped together when it was time for all of the Jellicles to rest and recharge after dancing so wildly.
Victoria couldn't take it anymore. She was sick to the brim with stories of "Mistoffelees said this and it was so cute," or "I wish you girls had a shining knight like me." It was truly stupid that Electra called him such things. Angel, hero or savior could be better, and far less cliché, choices. Even so, Victoria thought Mistoffelees was too good, unique and eccentric to be put into a labeled box such as these things were. He was himself, and that was good enough for her. How she longed to be good enough for him.
She left, sighed and trudged along dismally, aimlessly wondering through the 'yard. She was all alone, pretending that the tom she admired wasn't taken and was with her. She could close her eyes and feel his arms around her. She imagined him whispering words of love into her ear and a wide grin spread across her face. Her heart raced inside of her chest as she entertained this internal game of pretend. He took her paws in his, bowed lowly before her with that characteristic smirk she loved so dearly and he asked her for a dance. She kept her eyes closed for she knew the vision would fade if she opened them even just a crack. She accepted the phantom's invitation with a wide grin and curtsied before him.
She and her imaginary Mistoffelees danced a slow and gentle waltz. She could just feel his paw grasping her paw, his other planted firmly on her side. Every so often, she would toy with the idea of him stroking over her headfur and giving her forehead a kiss. She shivered at the thought of it and a smile graced her gentle lips. She softly twirled in a little spin, feeling rather than seeing the rain that had begun to fall. She continued to dance with this imaginary partner, getting more and more carried away with the dance. She didn't care if she seemed crazy. She was madly in love, after all and she couldn't do anything about it. She had finally admitted it to herself. She loved him. She was insanely in love with a tom who saw her as a best friend or a sister and nothing more. She tried to push the thoughts away, stubbornly keeping up the charade of dancing with Mistoffelees. She was trying to forget that he hadn't spoken with her since the Ball. She was trying to wipe away from her memory the fact that he had chosen one of her friends over her. She tried not to recall that Mistoffelees could never or would never love her. He was happy while she faded away into depression and listlessness.
She paused in her dance, her eyes as firmly shut as when she had begun. She shook her head and resumed, squeezing the imaginary paw of the conjuring tom all the tighter. And ignored the pain of her claws digging into her pads. She was going to dance with her Mistoffelees. In her daydreams, he could always be hers.
She pulled the nonexistent tom all the closer, standing up on her toes to give his forehead a sweet kiss. She shivered in the rain, her coat now almost completely soaked. She ignored the cold and the wet and continued with her imaginary waltz.
Unfortunately, it wouldn't last long as she twirled once, slipped in a puddle of mud and came crashing into the sodden earth beneath her. Her eyes opened automatically and she let out a faint cry as she came to realize it was truly her imagination she had been playing with. Mistoffelees wasn't with her, he hadn't caught her as she fell. There was no one to catch her and prevent her from colliding into the hard ground below her. She began to sob as she gently pushed herself up from the puddle, her arms shaking in pain, cold and grief. She was an idiot. What had she expected? A knight in shining armor to come and rescue her from falling? That hope was pure folly! There was no knight for her. Electra's knight wouldn't come running for her. Mistoffelees was Electra's knight, not hers.
She was all alone in the world. She had no hero, no angel, no savior. She had no other half, no completion or lover. She stood shakily, her tears brimming to her eyes and she sniffed as she wrapped her arms about herself from the cold. There was a sharp pain in her side and she gently wiped the mud away to find a large scrape going down her side. Not only was she alone and in the rain, but she was injured because of her own foolishness. The tears finally flowed down her cheeks and she choked out bitter, heart-wrenching sobs. She had never been so hurt in all her life. That tiny little part of her heart that had held onto a hope that Mistoffelees would come to her aid one day had finally shattered. He had only ever been there once. He had never come again. She shouldn't have nurtured a hope that he would have. It had only been chivalry. It was his duty to aid her at that time, nothing more.
Stupid and idiotic toms! How had he made her fall in love with him? He must have done something! She shook her head, trying to wipe away her tears. She began to head back to her own den, where she could care for her wound and tend to her broken heart. She knew she was a fool and was incredibly ashamed of herself. A sudden flash of lightning and a booming of thunder made her jump and she quickly dashed into the nearest possible shelter.
She cowered in this abandoned cavern of refuse, her tears striking with full force. Even though she had thought it cliché, she had still wanted a knight in shining armor. Her heart didn't care how cliché it was or how ridiculous, it wanted it all the same. She gingerly licked her newly made scrape until she could no longer stand its stinging. She hoped it would heal and wouldn't become infected. Once more, she had to attend to her own wounds. There was no one else to heal them or nurse them. She sighed, drying her tears though they continued to fall. She cautiously curled into a melancholy ball, shutting her eyes against the pain and the raging storm both outside and within. She might as well accept things for what they were. She had lost Mistoffelees. He no longer searched her out, he didn't even notice her existence. She felt used and abandoned, but she had to accept it. He had a queen who pleased him. She was just an interim queen for him. She had to let him go and come to terms with her loving him. It meant that she would be alone and single for the rest of her life. She would always be constant with him and would never take a mate besides him. He wasn't offering, so she might as well get used to the solo life.
With a shuddering sob, she drew as tightly into herself as she possibly could. She placed a paw over her aching heart, squeezing her eyes together very tightly. This hurt more than anything she had ever experienced. It wasn't just emotional, it was physical too. Her heart felt like it was constantly getting stabbed, it ached so badly.
She loved the tuxedo cat more than anything in the world. It was to the point where she was more concerned with his happiness and his success in life over hers. She was horribly in love with him, but she was willing to watch him live a happy life without her. His world would turn without her, as it had begun to do so. Her kittenhood friend was gone forever, even though he still lived in the junkyard. They were miles apart now, when they had once been inseparable. She blamed herself for it. Somehow, she must have pushed him away.
With all of these thoughts, her tears finally ceased and she dried them once and for all. Tomorrow would be a new day and things would be just as difficult as they were, but she would get through. All she needed was a good cry once a week. She could put on a brave face for the world. They didn't have to know how torn up she was over him. He didn't have to know how badly she hurt. He didn't seem to care anymore, anyhow. She relaxed her eyes and her body, allowing herself to begin to drift off into sleep. She would wait out this storm and return to her den once it passed. She didn't want anyone worried for her. She settled into herself and quickly fell asleep. Thought the storm did pass, she slumbered on. She found peace and happiness in her dreams; her only sanctuary in a world of hurts. She could finally have her shinning knight, Mr. Mistoffelees, in the fantasies of her mind.