Chapter one
Fern
" On the outside"
Fern is twelve years old at middle school, trying to find her way through the changes of child to teenager aswell as her own inner suffering which none of her school friends, once so innocent and friendly really care or know about. A writer, soft soul and depressive loner...fern battles daily hoping one day someone will listen
Loosely based on MY experience as a tween and upwards into adolescent pre adult years
Fern rubbed her eyes and yawned.
Morning had hit the city of Elwood and a new day and school week had begun.
She grabbed her hair brush and a modest pair of clothing. Looking glamorous was not high on her list if priorities, in fact just being ab!e to make it through the day was the most important achievement these days.
Brushing her teeth and washing her face, she then looked up and cringed at the adolescent staring back at her.
There was nothing wrong with the girl with the deep blue eyes and soft smile. In the eyes of the beholder however she was a messy and uncooth disgrace.
She took out two fluoxetine antidepressants and gulped them down with some water before heading downstairs for a cup of peach and passion fruit tea. This was her routine and had been for awhile now.
"Good morning darling" her mother said.
As always Mrs walters greeted her precious daughter with a warm hug.
"Hello Mom" She replied nonchalantly.
"Sweetie have you taken your medication this morning?"
Her Mother as any mother of chronically depressive pubescent would be, worried constantly for her daughter.
She was anxious of the downward spiral her once creative and content child had started on.
As if out of nowhere, depression had hit Fern as puberty arrived. Not uncommon in girls of her age yet a terrible thing for any young person to face.
"Yes" She sighed, in between sips of her tea.
The medication quelled her moderate anxiety she started feeling last year toward everything and everyone.
She had spent the summer crying in her room for the days now gone that she would no longer be spending at Lakewood Elementary.
The only activity the female engaged in was writing and speaking via Skype with Sue ellen Armstrong.
The Armstrong's travelled alot and unfortunately for Fern, Sue Ellen's Dad had accepted a job abroad in London.
Fern was eager to visit tthe most fascinating historical city.
She yearned to explore the tower of london were many a consort, an advisor to the kings and queens before had perished at the hand of the axe man.
Most notorious was the beheading of Queen Anne Boleyn...
Her friends had quickly lost interest in the once easy going fascinating dog with a keen eye for investigation.
Their view had been simple, as pre teens it was paramount you mainrain friendships or as Fern found out they slip away...she however, was too consumed in her sadness and world of creative writing to care.
So the months passed on this the first day of a spring week.
The flowers blew inthe mild air as she walked to school.
Feeling most apathetic she took in a deep breath and held her hand on her head.
The medication was not without its side effects and sweating, dry mouth and long term apathy were some of them.
When blues get me down
Then I get turned around
Still better to feel numb than peirced with painful memories and irrational thoughts swirling around in her mind.
"Dearest log" she wrote during english.
"I feel as though world war two is going on in my head"
"The battle of Stalingrad is in full swing" "the Nazis are coming toward me and..."
A hand fell flat on her desk. Fern looked up.
"Mr Turner?"
"Fern, would you keep your mind on the assignment at hand?" The part cat with thick glasses and heavy whiskers asked in a rather intimidating tone.
A few gasps could be heard from her fellow classmates.
Fern never got scolded by a teacher. Granted she was a dreamer but to be apprehended in class infront of the likes of Binky barns and Muffy Crosswire, the chattering loud mouths of the class it was a surprise.
Once Fern slid her journal away she ocused on the task at hand.
Her most favourite of classes was English and short stories were her forte.
As she started writing she felt the familiar prod of a pencil against her back.
"Hey Fern" Binky whispered.
She sighed. "What is it this time Binky?"
"I um need help with my english homework" "The history of great inventors and discoverer's"
Ferns eyes widened. "Its due tommorrow"
"Yeah" he whispered back. "You're into all that stuff so could you..?"
Fern closed her eyes and paused for a second.
"Which inventor do you want me to write about for you?" She said with great defeatism.
"Ah the guy whose apple fell on Francine's head" he replied.
"Binky she Portrayed Sir Isaac Newton, he didnt drop an apple on her head personally" Fern corrected.
"Yeah him" He smiled.
"Fine" "ill have it for you tommorrow" she sighed.
"Thanks you're uh well not such a weirdo, you're nice"
Fern smiled. For Binky that was a compliment.
"Thanks".. She replied.
Once English was over and social studies had ended, it was time for recess.
Muffy chatted with Francine at the lockers with Buster and Arthur.
" Fern" Muffy called out.
Fern wanted to make it to the library and add more to her novel and her only pleasure in life.
It appeared this was not going to happen.
"Yes Muffy" she replied.
The nicely dressed red head placed her hands on her hips.
"Why are you helping Binky?" She questioned.
Fern was shocked. "How did you..?"
"He text her" Arthur informed.
"You shouldn't really help him" Francine added.
Arthur agreed. "He needs to figure it out for himself"
Muffy rolled her eyes. "No" she hissed.
"I mean if you're helping him and I'm in your class, you could atleast help me out too."
Buster walked up behind Muffy. "Ooh can you help me too?" He asked.
"Guys stop pestering her" Arthur said.
Buster frowned. "Hey you two could help me but noooo'
Buster over dramatised the fact Arthur and Francine who were both good at english tried to encourage their friend to learn on his own.
Muffy hugged buster affectionately.
" You two are so cruel" she cried. "Why wont you at least give him your stories?"
Buster took advantage of Muffys hug by kissing her cheeks.
She giggled.
"I love when you stick up for me" he nuzzled his nose against her.
Arthur and Francine were somewhat annoyed.
"Lets go" she said holding the Aardvarks hand.
"Its your choice Fern but dont keep giving in" he called out.
"Forget about that" Francine smiled.
"We have your pizza party this weekend to plan"
"Oh yeah" Arthur replied.
"Good thing you have me to remind you" Francine teased.
They both innocently kissed while other kids walked by.
Some held hands while others threw packets of chips at each other and swore or threatened to kill someone after school for "cheating" with some other guy or girl, the usual pre teen dramas.
Fern wanted to agree with Arthurs advice but she felt somewhat compelled to help these two out. Buster was a nice popular guy and Muffy was forceful and wouldn't give up..
She handed a story over to Muffy.
"Oh whats this?" She scanned it over
"The year was 1888, the streets of london were in peril" " Mack the ripper was making a name for himself in the dark alleys of white chapel as the blood thirsty murderer that would define history for over one hundred years"
"This is perfect" Muffy sqeaked. "Can I have it?"
Fern shrugged. "I guess"..
"I have a few spare stories I like to keep on me" she said.
Buster then asked for one with a big smile.
Fern thought hard, his story needed to be watered down to a lower level the way Binky's did.
"I have a story about a boy who finds a diamond that transports him back in time" she said.
Buster was excited. "I want to know how it ends, what happens?"
"I wrote in fifth grade" Fern replied. "Ill give you the story tomorrow"
"Thanks" buster shook her hand.
"Okay well see ya" Muffy waved
Fern felt pretty empty. The stories she wrote were her version of special ornaments.
They had sentimental value. Yet there she was handing them over to her peers as though it were nothing. It was nothing...to them but everything to her.
Keep it to myself, it doesnt really matter
Sometimes we run for cover,
Im always on the outside
By lunch time Fern sat at one of the tables and took out her book and black pen.
"Unrequited"
"A novel from F. Walters"
Excitement filled her being when she went to add more intrigue and twists to her novel set in the early 1900s.
"Lady Lavinia Hawthorne was aware of Mr Everett's intentions" "By lineage he was the certian choice for the delicately slim and wide eyed dog."
"Her hair flowed like the ripples in the stream that she stood over."
"Mr Everett was a most handsome Moose and was somewhat consistent in his courtship of the eldest daughter and heir to the Hawthorne dynasty, not that the well bred Everetts were of common background and simple breeding"...
" Alas her heart no longer belonged to her nor did Mr Everett hold it the way he had so longed"
As Fern wrote it was as though her own unrequited love was drowned out and for those euphoric moments she was the dainty lady of whom the handsome and most chivalrous Moose desired.
Her writing was abruptly stopped by her friend George. The only light in her dark life and hidden desire. Mr Everett was the moose she longed for but would never have.
Mr everett was simply an ode to Lundgren.(formerly Nordgren)
George was a lovely guy with a kind heart.
He wrote lyrics and often sat outside with a group of his friends in a circle, mostly made up of girls casting flirtatious glances in his direction while he strummed his acoustic guitar.
Buster always sat and listened to thethe gifted singers insightful lyrics which were meaningful and in depth while Muffy rested her head on her bunnys lap..
"Hey fern" he smiled.
Fern blushed. "George"
He sat beside fern at the lonely table.
"I hope this seats not taken" he said with a small wink.
Fern looked down and hid her smile.
Prunella then walked past, interrupting Ferns only few minutes of beautiful release from this horrible world..
"You're song Broken but still holding on" Prunella squealed. "Its amazing"
George shrugged as though it were nothing. "Thanks Prunella"
"You'll be playing later on wont you?" "After school?"
Prunella asked with a bedazzled look in her eye's.
"Yeah probably" he replied casually.
He then told Fern she should come and watch him play with everyone else.
"You can sit by me" "like old times when Sue Ellen was here"
Fern shook her head.
Everything inside of her wanted to go.
Even more, did she want to let George know how she felt..
"Im sorry George Id really like that but I cant"
Oh how it pained her to say those words.
"Let me guess" George sighed. "You're still writing english assingments for Binky?"
Fern nodded sheepishly. S
he wasnt about to tell him shed also given away to of her stories to Muffy and Buster aswell.
"I also have kung foo three times this week" she lied.
The truth of the matter was, Fern had stopped her martial arts for a little while until this depressive spell she was under somehow lifted.
Fern knew sports and things like karate, judo and Taekwando which Sue ellen still practiced were great for confidence.
If Sue Ellen and Francine were anything to go by then sport and martial arts gave you confidence in spades...yet Fern had none
I tend to cut myself off, from things
I shouldn't run from
Keepit to mysel
It doesn't really matter
"Oh" George replied.
He felt a little hurt by the person he thought was one of his closest friends.
"Message me if you change your uh..schedule" he said, lifting himself off the table.
Fern naturally said she would.
If only she could..
The table across from her was filled with chatter, laughter and the odd snarky comment.
George took his place beside Alex and gave him a high five.
Arthur and his friends all sat together discussing his pizza party this coming Friday.
"So 6pm?" Muffy typed into her tablet.
Buster peered over.
"Why do you need to type it down?" He asked in between mouthfuls of taco.
Muffy brushed his hand away from her.
"Duh so I can send out evites" "that way noone will forget"
"Uh I dont think Francine's going to forget" Buster laughed.
"She better not" Arthur joked.
Francine punched her boyfriend in the shoulder.
"Seriously?" "As if I would".
Arthur rubbed his arm while LaDonna, Jenna and Binky talked amongst themselves.
"So is Molly coming?" Buster asked.
"I hope so George" said.
Muffy looked at Francine then over at Prunella.
"Oh and why is that George?" Muffy grinned.
Ladonna scratched her head.
"Well dang she is mighty pretty" she concured.
"Sure is" Binky nodded.
"Well then its sorted" Muffy typed in Mollys name.
"Hey don't I get a say?" Arthur asked, hand on hip.
Francine clutched his arm.
"Oh come on, it will be fun"
Arthur looked at George.
"Would you like Me to invite Molly?"
George nodded slightly flushed.
"If its not a big deal or anything"
All the girls at the table squealed excitedly and naturally Buster joined in.
"Yay you're gonna make out with Molly" he cheered.
Those words peirced at Ferns heart.
Yes she was little more than a child and they had years ahead of them but at that very moment in her life her world was once again torn into pieces.
While George tried to keep the gossip mill from turning, Fern overheard the conversations between her old elementary school peers.
Buster pointed at Fern.
"What about her?" He whispered.
"Pfft she won't go" Francine said shaking her head.
"I invited her to our slumber party last year" "she said she couldn't make it"
Prunella agreed. "She never goes anywhere"
"I know" Muffy lowered her voice. "She didn't go to the school dance I mean come on..."
"Shes just shy you guys" George said. "Leave her alone"
The group shrugged and moved on.
Arthur looked over at the lonely girl, absorbed in her writing..
"We'll if shes going to say no.." "Its best I leave it then"
Buster started eating his chocolate pie.
"You can always save her some pizza" he said , his mouth full of pie crust.
"Eww Buster" Muffy groaned. "Here" she handed him a tissue to wipe his moutg with.
"Hey what about DW?" Muffy asked.
"What about her?" Arthur said with folded arms.
The group then started laughing and lightly teased arthur about his smart yet precocious little sister.
Fern started to write again but was unable to immerse herself in her story as before.
Looking right at me
Wont receive my plea
Tell me what you mean
Im not whats on the screen
Taking what will be
Fighting the fatigue
Thats quite enough for me...
Makesme wanna scream
Keep it to myself, it doesnt really matter
Sometimes we run for cover, Im always on the outside
"You never seem to wonder
How much you make me suffer
I speak it from the inside..."
So another day ended. Then another week. Each day a small speckle of light that once gave fern her unique spakle fell off, disintegrated forever.
Her Mom asked how her day was.
"Fine Mom how was yours?"
Always the same reply.
A weary girl strung out and ever so tired would slump her backpack onto the floor and sit at her desk.
Writing stories for her classmates.
Writing in her journal "Let it just end"
Writing to Sue Ellen with a plea for her to "COME BACK SOON "via skype message.
Fern told noone how she felt. Only SueEllen and her Mother knew of her depression but they could not force her to seek help. She flat out refused it...
So she crawled into bed as the sun had long set
"Maybe tomorrow" she yawned.
"It will all go away"
"You never seem to wonder
How much you make me suffer
I speak it from the inside..."
Song lyrics
"Run for over" written by the sugabaes 2000-2001 copyright. 2000
I used Mack instead ofJack rhe ripper as it seems to be an Arthur thing to do when referring to history and certain things pertaining to copyright law. I just thought it would be funny.
The next one shot is much lighter and fluffy..
Its a sweet little pairing too. No its not ArthurXfrancine or Arthur X sue ellen its not Arthur atall...!
Chapter two "I got you"
Well please tell me what you think?
If only everyone had an Arthur or a george huh?