Title: Broken Infinity
Pairing: Fabian Prewett/Remus Lupin
Word Count: ~8600 words
Rating: NC-17
Warning(s): Sexy time, Slight angst, character death.
Disclaimer:Harry Potter characters are the property of J.K. Rowling and Bloomsbury/Scholastic. No profit is being made, and no copyright infringement is intended.
Notes: First off, thanks a million to Segundite for beta reading and editing it like a pro. I've never wanted to do a soulmate fic until now and somehow once the idea took hold of me, I couldn't stop writing! I always enjoy trying to write Remus with any other male so this was a newfound love for me! :3 And of course thank you, mods for putting up with my lateness.
Summary: Scenario: Molly and Remus have a complicated relationship for a reason. Soulmates; that was what they signified if two people had the same mark on the inner side of their left wrist. A lot of fluff, bit of silliness and of course some drama and general teenage cuteness because Remus needs happiness in his life!
OOooOO
It was common knowledge among the Gryffindors that no one could top James Potter when it came to loudness, so of course Remus had to tear his attention away from the game of chess he had been playing with Peter—and losing—when somebody in their common room let out a victorious laugh loud enough to be heard over the sound of James' current bout of laughter. That somebody turned out to be Fabian Prewett: Hogwarts photographer of anything and everything, discernable from his brother only because of the atrocious manner in which his tie hung around his neck.
"You've got to be kidding me! Come on, now. How is that even possible?" That was Davey Gudgeon.
One would think that, being in the same house for five years, Remus would have spoken to Fabian at least once, but busy with being a werewolf and trying to keep it a secret from nosy best friends, albeit the most brilliant friends on Earth, and with general Marauder business, Remus had overlooked actually speaking to the more mischievous redhead of the twins,Fabian Prewett. Remus saw Lily join the raucous pair interestedly as she bent to look at whatever they were doing.
"Wonder what's going on there," Peter commented curiously as he craned his neck to get a look at whatever it was that could make someone beat James' volume. James himself was standing up and prodding both Sirius and Peter in the ribs to check out the commotion. Of course he avoided doing so to Remus who stood up, curious. When they joined the small group of people around Fabian who now sat opposite to Lily, Remus couldn't help but let out a delighted sound of acknowledgement.
"Scrabble!" Remus' friends turned to look at him curiously, and it was the first time that Fabian spoke to him directly.
"Wanna play?"
Did he want to?
"If it isn't a problem."
Fabian's eyes crinkled at the sides as he waved his hand; he was definitely used to expressing a lot of positive emotions. A black wristband adorned his hand; someone very much like him who didn't want to know his soulmate, perhaps. Remus answered by grinning uncontrollably and sitting down between Lily and Fabian.
He could hear Sirius and James furiously whispering behind him, quite loudly. "He's sitting beside Lily!" "I thought Moony only talked to Gideon." "Sirius, focus; he's sitting with Lil—" "Shut up James, this is—" Remus tuned them out with a smile; so yes, he didn't usually initiate conversation with people, but it wasn't completely unheard of for him to do so… once in a very long while.
"That was a good game," Remus admitted once Fabian had won yet again. "It's been a while since I've been up against an excellent opponent."
Surprisingly, Remus received a somewhat bashful shrug. "You weren't too bad yourself, Lupin," Fabian returned with a hint of red on his cheeks. That puzzled Remus; perhaps it was the heat of the common room, or he was just one of those boys who didn't take compliments well. "Let's play again sometime," Fabian offered with that easy, lined smile and Remus couldn't help smiling back.
"That sounds great."
OOooOO
When Remus was five he finally asked his parents about the black symbols on their wrists. Soulmates; that was what they signified if two people had the same mark on the inner side of their left wrist. But then why were theirs not the same?
"Because we fell in love," Remus' dad told him with a smile that crinkled the corners of his eyes, and his mother let out a tinkling laugh. He didn't exactly understand how someone could fall in love and be so happy about it… falling always hurt him.
OOooOO
Right after Remus' fifteenth birthday his left wrist began hurting, just below his palm, and he knew from previous conversations that his soulmate mark was finally about to appear; five years too late. Anxiety and hope continuously stirred in the pit of his stomach, almost making him sick for days, until the pain stopped one day and he knew it was there—a mark that supposedly would lead him to his one true love.
Well, he wasn't about to be led on by destiny; it had somehow thought that turning him into a werewolf was a good idea after all. Besides, look at his parents; neither of them had needed their soulmates to be in love. He looked at the mark for a minute; an incomplete infinity sign with a dot beneath, as if destiny had already decided to let Remus suffer and cast a glamour charm over it.
OOooOO
"Can I sit here?"
Remus looked up from an interesting paragraph about Grindylows to see one of the Prewett twins with his Care of Magical Creatures book—ah! Gideon with his tie stiffly knotted around his neck and hair brushed carefully.
"Sure." Remus moved his stack of reference books to make space for the redhead who sat down beside him. "Starting the essay Kettleburn assigned us?"
"Yeah, but seriously, three rolls for the habitat of Grindylows is just mad," Gideon complained. Remus didn't think so; he had already found enough material for one and a half rolls of parchment.
"I actually need a little help with it." Remus winced suddenly as his left wrist tingled strangely, just where his mark was. Gideon cleared his throat and shot him a wary look and added, "If it's not a problem, of course."
"It's alright," Remus told him, and covered up his hand; he did not need his classmate asking all sorts of questions about the supposed absence of his mark. He could have said "no," he could have told Gideon the truth about having a pile of homework, but something about Gideon's slight shyness made Remus pull the reference books closer to them. He began opening up the books to the page numbers according to the index and turned to Gideon, who was surprisingly resting his chin in his hand and looking at him with a soft gaze.
"What is it?" Remus asked, trying to remember if he had any remaining bits of green gloop on his hair—thanks to Sirius' crazy experiments in the dormitory, or—oh dear Merlin!—did he have chocolate on his face—?
"Nothing," Gideon told him with an unusual mischievous smile lurking in his eyes, and pulled his chair closer to Remus'. "So, let's get on with it." The smile on Gideon's face with his eyes crinkling at the corners gave Remus a sense of déjà vu and his pulse heightened for a fraction of a second, but for the life of him Remus couldn't explain why and chalked it off to his mind playing tricks on him.
OOooOO
It was such a bright day outside; the sunlight streaming in through the windows made Remus long to stretch himself out in the grounds like a cat. Of course he wouldn't do it, but it didn't hurt to imagine. He stretched, trying to be discreet about it as the rest of the Arithmancy class settled down; Tuesdays were the worst, with no free classes and with the upcoming OWLs…
"I can give a mean back rub if you want one." Startled, Remus straightened up and looked up to see—which one was thi—? Right. Fabian, of course; it was something in that slightly disheveled look… and the smile. Odd, really.
"N-no, that's quite alright," Remus answered hurriedly, and Fabian took that as an invitation to occupy the seat beside him. Well, that was new. Fabian turned towards him and was about to speak up when Professor Vector threw a tongue-tying spell at the boy. Fabian immediately held up his joined hands in a "please forgive me" pose, eliciting a small round of laughter. Professor Vector pinned the class with The Look until everyone stopped shuffling, and undid the spell.
Twenty minutes later a piece of parchment was pushed towards Remus with the word Hi. He glanced beside him to see Fabian trying to hide a smile behind his hand.
Hello to you too. How's your tongue now? Remus pushed the paper with his fingers.
Funny. Still stings a bit. Thanks for helping me with the COMC essay the other day. Remus stared at the reply, confused for a few seconds and quickly wrote down his reply. He heard Fabian clear his throat and nudged his knee. The paper flew out of his hands and into the Professor's hand. Well… shite!
"Lupin? Care to share this with the class?" Vector shook the piece of paper and Remus wanted to sink low into his chair; the one time he decided to pass messages in class and he had to be caught. The Professor opened the paper and read it silently before deciding Remus' verdict. Not detention, please don't let it be—
"Mr. Filch was saying that the Owlery needs a thorough cleaning. A good way to spend a beautiful afternoon, I'm sure," the Professor told Remus in that voice which didn't warrant any arguments, and he groaned internally.
"But, professor—" Fabian started.
"Take Mr. Prewett along with you. The two of you can finish up quicker. Now then, the fifth slide here…"
Remus let out a heavy sigh and his shoulders drooped; this was officially the longest Tuesday of Fifth Year.
"This is actually kinda fun, isn't it?" Fabian remarked as he brushed bird droppings into a dustpan during detention later that day. Remus coughed behind the handkerchief that Fabian had lent him to cover his nose and mouth as an apology for getting him into detention in the first place.
"Not my idea of fun," Remus said honestly, and then stretched fully as he stood up from where he was scrubbing the floor. He needed a break so he dropped the rag and lowered his makeshift mask before speaking. "So, care to tell me why you'd impersonate your brother?"
"Err… that?" Fabian suddenly seemed uncharacteristically shy and began brushing the part of the floor that had already been cleaned. "Impersonate makes me sound like a criminal but uh—" He scratched his cheek that was slowly turning red, Remus noted interestedly.
"It couldn't be that you actually just wanted to talk to me, right?" Remus asked, and as Fabian stopped brushing to look at him, he couldn't help noticing the freckles on his cheeks standing out in the orange-red rays of the setting sun.
"I was scared, alright?" Fabian exclaimed, startling Remus. Fabian gripped the handle of the broom tighter as he looked at the wall. "I wanted to talk to you but I wasn't—wha—oi! Don't laugh when I'm pouring out my feelings here!" Fabian stared at the boy in front of him; Remus didn't make a habit of losing composure in front of most people so it might have come across as a surprise.
Remus calmed down and tiredly leaned against the wall. "Sorry, sorry. It's just the first time I've heard that, that too from someone like you." He looked at the redhead, who sniggered then and scratched the back of his head. "Though for future reference, pretending to be someone else isn't exactly the best way to befriend somebody."
"I know that," Fabian protested, but relieved at Remus' reaction began walking towards him, when they heard a series of shouts and the door to the Owlery banged open to reveal a furious Sirius.
"There you are," Sirius said in a dangerous voice as he advanced on Fabian, cloak billowing behind him as Gideon hurried behind him.
"Black, come on now—" Sirius grabbed Fabian by the front of his shirt and both Gideon and Remus immediately stepped up between them.
"Sirius, what's going on?"
"Nothing you can help with," Sirius snapped at the werewolf and then, trying to soften his remark, "I just need to hex this nutter's bollocks off." Remus would not get in Sirius' way but he couldn't let Sirius possibly murder a student if he wanted his friend to remain at Hogwarts and not behind bars in Azkaban; the rage on his face warranted it. Remus had become quite good at damage control after the incident with Snape.
"What the hell, Black?" Fabian managed. That was Remus's question exactly; Sirius wouldn't hesitate to turn his wand upon almost anybody but never on his fellow Gryffindors—
—or so he had thought until Sirius threw a punch that connected with Fabian's cheek. Fabian gasped while trying to land a kick on Sirius' groin. Remus had to give him credit for being able to keep the next few punches at bay.
"What in Merlin's name is wrong with you?" Remus heard Gideon shout as he tried to valiantly pry Sirius off his brother, resulting in an all-out brawl that Remus had no intention of stepping into without a wand. Damn Filch for confiscating their wands! Suddenly Sirius doubled over and Fabian stepped out of his reach.
"You've gone mental or what?" Fabian shouted at Sirius with a frenzied look, broom held like a weapon. Remus almost laughed at the ridiculousness of the moment; it was strange even by Marauder standards.
"Fabian, shut up for once," Gideon snapped suddenly, and Remus took the opportunity to approach Sirius and place a comforting arm around his shoulders.
"Alright, that's enough now." Remus commanded, and quickly locked fingers with Sirius'; a bit intimate, judging by the Prewetts' gazes, but nothing new among them. "Would either of you care to explain what's going on?" Remus directed this more towards Sirius after a glance at Fabian, who was being held back by Gideon. Sirius' whole being shook with anger and Remus squeezed his hand.
"What's going on, Sirius?"
"Pictures," he heard Sirius bite out before replying properly, "the bastard's been stalking me and selling photos of me."
"What?" Remus and Gideon glanced at each other quickly at that, and Fabian laughed.
"Is that what's got you so mad? You should have just said something if you had a problem with it." Remus stared at Fabian, gobsmacked; he really was…
…an absolute idiot.
"Fabian, no," Gideon let out, and looked up at the ceiling as if asking for help, "that's illegal, you can't go around taking people's photographs without their permission."
"It wasn't such a big deal," Fabian reasoned, and then raised his hands in a mock surrender. Remus noted the black wristband again. "I'll stop, alright? Mates?" He held out a hand that Sirius ignored as he tried to shake off Remus' arm.
"Let me go, I won't hit him." He straightened his uniform all the while glaring at Fabian, who had a smile plastered on his face. "We're not mates," Sirius told him, and then suddenly grinned ferociously. "We'll see how you like Aubrey having your photo, though with your ugly mug I doubt anyone could get off."
"Aubrey?" Remus turned towards Sirius immediately, "Sirius, you guys promised—"
"I know, I know," Sirius interrupted him, "I'm not gonna hex him again just cause he's queer. Honestly!" he added when Remus looked skeptical.
"Alright then, here you go," Fabian said loudly, making a show of taking out a bunch of photographs from his pockets with a pitiful look. "They were selling so well, I'd have been a rich man by Christmas." Sirius snatched the photos from the redhead and counted them—twenty four pictures, all of Sirius from various angles, mostly after Quidditch practice and a few of him just lounging in the common room. Remus was impressed and creeped out at the same time.
"How did you possibly capture this?" he couldn't help asking, holding up a photo of Sirius on his bed sucking on a sugar quill. Fabian grinned.
"Disillusionment charm," he replied easily, "but it made me feel like a stalker so it was just that once." There was nothing about feeling like one here; he was a stalker! However, Remus smiled as he handed back the photo to Sirius.
"Your photography is amazing, I have to admit. It is," Remus added when Sirius opened his mouth, "trust me, even I'd buy one of these if you weren't my friend." Sirius stared at him gobsmacked and Remus wondered if he had taken it too far.
Just then as Sirius let out a mirthful laugh Remus felt a nudge at his arm and he turned to see Fabian standing close. Very close. Remus' eyes widened as the redhead reached out almost as if in a trance and cupped the side of his face.
"You don't look like it but you are really good looking, Remus. You've a really good bone structure." Fabian's words came out in a soft murmur as his hand moved lower and his fingers brushed the edge of Remus' chin and lower lip. "Really good. I noticed it before." Remus' mouth felt unusually dry and he didn't even know why. Fabian locked eyes with him, fire burning in his gaze.
"Let me photograph you," he whispered, almost fervently. Remus stared back at him, feeling something, wanting to close the distance, see the freckles on Fabian's cheeks clearl—
"So that you can make money off Moony? I don't think so," Sirius interrupted and Remus moved away, almost backpedaling. A second of silence stretched into a few seconds and Remus tried to cover up the awkwardness with a polite smile at Fabian, who was still looking at him.
"I'm afraid I'll have to refuse your request; I'm very camera shy," Remus told the redhead, who blinked and then stepped back while his ears took on a furious shade of red.
"O-of course," Fabian replied, unusually flustered, and before anyone could say anything he turned and hurried off in the direction of the stairs. Gideon cursed and, with a frown at the two Marauders, left to catch up with his brother.
"What in Merlin's name was that?" Sirius asked softly and Remus turned to see a serious look on his friend's face. Remus bit his lip, wondering the same.
"I don't know," he replied, staring in the direction where the Prewetts had gone.
OOooOO
Remus closed the door to the sound of Exploding Snap behind him and looked for the trolley witch, who was nowhere to be seen. Another door opened and a red haired boy came out of the compartment.
"Remus!" he called out, and Remus waved his hand at Fabian who approached him in muggle clothes; he looked different, but good. Definitely good. "I was just about to come looking for you. Are you alright?" he asked, jovial voice turning concerned instantly as he inspected the fresh bandages around Remus' fingers.
"Yeah, these things happen all the time," Remus lied, and rolled his eyes for good measure. "Sirius and his potions experiments. Anyway, what did you need me for?"
Fabian didn't look convinced but he let it go and then laughed nervously.
"I was just thinking that maybe we could exchange addresses, you know, keep in touch over the summer and all." He looked expectant but also a little wary of Remus' answer. Remus wasn't going to refuse; he should have known that by now.
"Of course, I'd like that." This time Fabian let out his usual laugh and handed Remus a folded piece of paper. Once Remus had given his address to the boy they looked at each other, a little awkward at the end of a conversation. "So err—I guess I'll see you after the holidays."
"Yeah. Yeah, after the holidays, of course. Not any time before that." Fabian shifted on his feet and Remus was about to return to his compartment when Fabian stepped in front of him. "Err—there's something I wanted to ask you. You still won't let me photograph you?" Remus shook his head and smiled.
"I make the strangest faces when faced with a camera, just ask James." Fabian chuckled at that and took out his camera from a pocket in his trousers. Remus stared at it; where in the world did that even fit?
"Extension charm," Fabian informed him with a grin, and stepped around Remus so that he was behind him. "I think I know what your problem is," he said, standing close enough that Remus could feel the heat from his body. Fabian placed a hand on his hip only to pull it away when Remus couldn't help the hitch in his breath.
"It's okay," Remus found himself saying, and Fabian laughed a little nervously before resting his hand against Remus' side again.
"Bring on your strangest face, Lupin. Let's see whose is the silliest." Before Remus could respond Fabian was clicking away and Remus, wrist tingling, suddenly found himself smiling at the camera when he felt Fabian's hair tickling the side of his neck. Okay now, calm down. Keep it calm and cool.
"Well, that wasn't so bad, was it?" Fabian asked, and Remus made a show of thinking on it. "Oi!"
"No, it actually wasn't," Remus admitted, and they moved away when a compartment door opened. "Err—well, don't forget to send me a copy of the pictures." He felt bold, slightly breathless without even having done anything, but Fabian gave him a thumbs up and left with a wave.
"What took you so long?" Sirius asked when Remus entered the compartment. He sat down and held his story book up, hiding a smile that wouldn't stop stretching his face.
"Bathroom."
OOooOO
Back in Third Year after his friends had found out about Remus' secret and accepted him, he started opening up to them. That led him to realise just how much hope James was still putting into the whole soulmate idea, even while confronted with countless hopeless interactions with Lily Evans. That was their James Potter, alright.
Peter shrugged when asked about it but Remus would catch a dreamy tone when he spoke about finding his girl; his only condition was that she not have a nose like Snape. They all laughed at that. Remus didn't have his mark and that was—"probably a wolf thing, Moony"—said by none other than James using his James logic.
Sirius never contributed anything to these conversations and Remus respected his need for privacy. Everybody had their secrets.
"I'm knackered, Wood's making us practice like it's the World Cup or something," Sirius grumbled one rainy day as he trudged into their dormitory, trekking mud in his wake. Peter chuckled from his bed where he was busy with a muggle sketchbook that Remus had gifted him for his twelfth birthday.
"There there," Remus comforted his friend, closing his book. Sirius grunted as he took his Quidditch uniform off and rolled his shoulders.
"I need an elf, bollocks! I hurt all over," Sirius exclaimed and then plopped down on his bed tiredly. Remus refrained from retorting; it would take time for Sirius to realise that elves were not meant to be slaves. He approached Sirius and offered up his pain-relieving potion. "I can't take that Moony, you'll need it on Thursday," Sirius told him, shaking his head. "I'll be fine."
He raised his arms to stretch and that's when Remus saw it and flinched—a black line where Sirius' soulmate mark should be.
"Sirius, what happened?" Remus asked urgently as he dropped the bottle on Sirius' bed and reached out for his friend's hand. Sirius looked confused for an instant and then pushed away Remus' hand roughly.
"It's nothing, Remus. Honestly—"
"Did someone hurt you? Why is it—?" Sirius looked up at him angrily and he changed track: "I'm not going to pry if that's what you want, but please don't keep things from me if it's something serious." Remus knew Sirius couldn't ignore the subtle plea, and sure enough it earned a sigh from the black-haired boy.
"The glamour must have worn off. It's not a big deal, this." He pointed at the thick, black line. "It happens to a lot of Purebloods, a tenth birthday gift of sorts, you could say." Sirius smiled wryly at Remus and rubbed a hand over the line. "There's no point in us knowing who our soulmate will be since we're supposed to be married off anyway."
"That's—" Remus began and then closed his mouth; he didn't know how to express his shock, not when Sirius seemed to be trying so hard to act nonchalant. It was surprisingly Peter who spoke up.
"But isn't your soulmate supposed to end up with you no matter what?" the blond exclaimed earnestly. "Your parents can't keep you apart, it's destiny!" Ah, Peter and his unwavering belief. Remus smiled and found Sirius doing the same.
"Sometimes you just surprise me, Pete," he said with an unusual affection and nickname. "I'll show them who controls my life," he promised to himself, and Remus touched his own unblemished wrist; would he ever feel as strongly about someone?
OOooOO
The holidays flew by and of course with Sirius running away, Remus hadn't had time to dwell much on anything other than his friends until two weeks before the end of summer holidays, when he received a letter with an unknown owl.
"Hello, beautiful. Who're you supposed to be?" And it was a beautiful owl, small in size, snowy with black spots in its tail. It hooted softly when Remus untied the letter from its feet and offered it a piece of his chocolate biscuit. It hopped on to his desk in front of the window and promptly fell asleep, perched on a pencil.
Remus stared in surprise for a second and then proceeded to read the letter. A letter from Fabian? Without realising it Remus was grinning and he sat down on his bed, laughing when he read that Fabian wasn't "supposed to use Martha for long journeys. Gid's gonna kill me if he finds out."
He penned a letter immediately, strangely excited to be writing to someone else other than his best friends, with a flutter in his stomach. When Martha left, he fell back down on his bed, staring at the photograph Fabian had attached with the letter. Had he honestly had that soppy look on his face? Could he possibly be—Merlin's pants!—crushing on Fabian? He reread the last part of the letter again.
… and in fear of sounding like a complete bird, I missed talking to an intelligent person rather horribly. That's you if you aren't sure. Yes, I missed you. Alright, lad, I'll send this before I get any sappier.
"That doesn't mean anything," Remus said to himself, but then he thought about the way Fabian smiled at him, chose to talk to him, the hand on him…
"This is ridiculous!" Remus chided himself, but then turned over, hiding a smile within his pillow.
OOooOO
"Working hard at the start of the term?"
Remus looked up with a smile to see Fabian, hands in his pockets. He closed the book.
"Not really, just trying to get a head start," Remus admitted.
Fabian rolled his eyes. "You don't need a head start, Remus; you're a genius." He leaned in closer to inspect Remus' face. "You look pale, are you okay?"
"I was sick last week, I'm fine now," Remus answered with a ready smile, worried; Fabian wasn't stupid, sooner or later he would notice a pattern and probably—
Fabian flicked Remus on the forehead with a put upon serious look. "See, your brain's rotting away with all this studying, you need fresh air."
"Ah, of course. What would I be without my brain?" Remus replied just as seriously. He sucked his cheeks in to keep himself from laughing as he packed up his bag. "Alright, lead the way."
It turned out to be a brilliant decision, coming outside. He followed an excited Fabian towards Hagrid's hut. "Are we going to visit Hagrid?"
Fabian knocked on the wooden door before answering. "Yeah, he got some new puffskeins to babysit yesterday so I thought I'd check it out, maybe help out a little." Remus glanced at him sideways; so he liked animals, did he? He asked Fabian about it.
"I'm not much of a pet person," Fabian answered, "I just happen to have a soft spot for puffskeins… and kneazles, and rabbits and—"
"Furballs," Remus concluded, and Fabian laughed it off but didn't deny it.
Hagrid welcomed them with a friendly slap on the back that hurt just a bit. He dropped on the table a basket of the colourful 'furballs' as Fabian had taken to calling them, much to Remus' amusement, and served them his famous rock cakes that Fabian ignored completely and Remus almost broke a tooth on out of courtesy. He dropped it the moment Hagrid left to check on the Threstals in the forest. Fabian let out a snigger while petting a blue puffskein.
"Could have warned me," Remus said from the corner of his mouth, sulking a bit as his jaw hurt, but he let it go when a yellow puffskein nuzzled his fingers. How could he not? He moved his index finger gently and rubbed his thumb under what was possibly its chin when another set of fingers joined in petting the animal. He turned to see Fabian looking down with a serious expression.
"I've been meaning to ask you something since our detention," he started. "Your hand, your mark I mean—" He hesitated, and Remus held up his left hand, palm up.
"I've got a mark but I don't want people making a big deal out of it so I always keep a Glamour charm cast on it," Remus explained, wondering why Fabian had brought it up suddenly. He felt as if he'd been doused in icy water; could it be that Fabian had finally found his soulmate and he had been misreading his signals all along?
"Ah, so you have a mark," Fabian replied but remained silent, thinking as he continued to pet the puffskein. Almost a minute later he spoke up. "I haven't got one."
"What?" Remus hadn't meant for it to come out so loud but his eyes immediately went to Fabian's hand to see the black wristband. "Is that even possible? I've never heard of it happening unless…"
Fabian let out something of a laugh but it sounded hollow. "Unless they're already dead." He echoed Remus' thought and leaned his head against the back of the chair, looking dejected in a way Remus had never thought he could be. "Or maybe I never had a soulmate, y'know, like I'm not capable of it or not good enough—"
"Don't say that!" Remus interrupted him. He sat up straight and the puffskein rolled away. He brought it back and repeated, "Don't say that; the mark isn't everything, a lot of people fall in love with those who aren't their destined soulmate. I—" He stopped before he made a fool of himself, before he got carried away and regretted it later on.
"You what?" Fabian asked then and Remus was surprised to find the redhead closer than before, directing a heated look that caused Remus to feel hot under his collar or that could have been the fire. "Remus."
"Yeah?" He couldn't answer, wouldn't do it because he didn't know if what he felt was love. What he did know was that he wanted to close the gap between them and release the butterflies that had taken to dancing in his stomach since months before, so he leaned forward and placed a kiss that barely lasted two seconds against Fabian's lips before moving back, ready to bolt. He didn't get the chance however as Fabian gripped one of his sleeves and then they were kissing, soft and shy; not quite first timers but a little inexperienced and nervous.
Fabian made a small sound of satisfaction that had them both turning red. They stopped to catch their breath when they heard the door creak open and they moved to opposite sides of the table. Hagrid entered and stared at them.
"Were ye two fightin'?" he asked suspiciously, taking in their breathlessness and glances at each other.
"Haha, yeah." Fabian was still an idiot. Remus smiled.
"But we've sorted it out and we should be getting back now." Remus exited the door first and Fabian followed him hurriedly. The moment they were out of sight of Hagrid's hut Fabian sidled closer to Remus as they slowed down, occasionally brushing hands accidentally.
Their shared silence continued on their way upstairs until they reached the third floor, deserted as always. Remus, unable to hold it in anymore, pushed Fabian against a portrait and was immediately pulled in by Fabian's bigger hands where they wrapped around his waist. This time Fabian didn't hold back and daringly slanted his mouth over Remus' as he touched his tongue against his earning a gasp.
They would probably have gone further if it were not for the man in the portrait choking on his wine and bellowing admonitions at them loud enough for all of Hogwarts to hear.
"Later," Fabian told Remus with another hurried kiss as he jumped across to catch the stairs already moving away. Remus rubbed his wrist absentmindedly where it tingled, with a smile that he was slowly becoming used to.
OOooOO
"Remus!"
Remus winced before turning to see Fabian sit down beside him in Arithmancy class, without his usual cheer. "What happened to you? You've been absent for three days." Remus knew that Fabian would start noticing his absences at some point but… he couldn't let him know just now.
"I was sick," Remus answered vaguely and Fabian scowled, ready to attack him with questions again. He placed a hand on Fabian's thigh, trying to comfort him. "I was very sick, I don't want to talk about it." He was sure it was the plea in his voice that kept Fabian from interrogating him further, looking mollified.
"I don't want to badger you constantly," Fabian whispered to him as Vector entered the class, "but I wish you'd trust me a bit more." Remus didn't get a chance to reply as class started. However once class finished, Fabian took Remus' bag along with his and stuck close to him until they reached Transfiguration classroom. They had reached a truce for now.
OOooOO
"Since when are you interested in watching Quidditch practices?" Lily asked Remus when he asked her to accompany him to the pitch. He refused to blush. Refused. Fabian and him had been kissing a lot—snogging really—in all sorts of places. And then there had been that day behind the greenhouses, before October's full moon when Remus had lost all control and slipped a hand in Fabian's trousers, which had been returned in equal measure when he had come in Remus' hand, gasping his name against his neck.
Remembering how right after that Fabian had looked with lips red around Remus' cock as he had shot down his throat, muffling his cry in the sleeves of his robe, was probably a bad idea right now.
"James is always complaining about how I should be more supportive of him as a friend," Remus managed, erasing all thoughts of Fabian's smug smirk. "We'll leave if he starts harassing you, but he really has changed, Lily." A fabricated reason, but it would do. "Come on, the weather is brilliant today, you won't even need a coat." That did it for Lily and Remus thanked the anomalies of Mother Nature for allowing them to forgo their coats in the middle of January even if it was just for a day.
They remained standing as they watched Wood put the team through a grueling practice session for the next match. He squinted, looking for Fabian, who hadn't noticed yet as he was too busy goal-keeping. It surprised Remus when Lily tutted and began commenting on some of their techniques.
"It's not that I don't enjoy it," Lily told him, "I actually like flying, but when it becomes more about competing, it kind of loses its charm—Remus, is he flying here?" Remus turned to see Fabian, grinning as he zoomed towards them, ignoring Wood's angry shouts to "come back here, you berk!"
"Shouldn't you be up there?" Remus asked the moment Fabian landed, not wanting the redhead to be in trouble with the captain no matter how happy he felt just seeing him.
"'S alright." Fabian shrugged and greeted Lily with a sly grin. "So, here to see Potter?" Remus snorted before he could stop himself and pretended to cough into his hand when Lily frowned at him. She cleared her throat.
"It was more like Remus dragged me here to see Potter," she said sweetly, and Remus groaned. Fabian laughed it off and returned to the game.
"Shall we go back?" Lily asked, rubbing her arm, "it's starting to get a little chilly."
OOooOO
"So, you went to see Potter, did you?" Fabian asked Remus in between kissing his neck and tugging off his shirt later that evening in the Room of Requirement; at some point Remus had felt compelled to spill the beans on this room, probably when they had almost got caught snogging by Filch four times in a row.
"Couldn't help it," Remus replied dryly and looped Fabian's tie around his hand. "Have you seen how good his arse looks in those Quidditch trousers?" That earned a nip to his collarbone and he relented. "But I do prefer my Quidditch players redheaded."
"Oh, do you now?" Fabian asked, successful in ridding Remus of his shirt and moving on to the rest. "So who's the lucky bloke who gets your sexy arse all to himself?"
"Quite a jealous prat, sadly, but I do love… his body far too much to complain," Remus told the other boy, covering up his confession. Some part of him knew that the day Fabian found out the truth about him wasn't far off, not when he had a broken infinity sign constantly reminding of his luck in love. His thoughts must have shown on his face because Fabian stopped teasing him and instead enveloped him in a protective hug. The tenderness was too overwhelming and Remus broke the moment by resuming his earlier ministrations.
Right then he wanted Fabian inside him—needed him. When he whispered it, Fabian let out an inarticulate cry and shucked off their clothes with steady hands.
"Can I suck you off?" Remus asked, feeling hot and needing to feel some part of Fabian in him now as Fabian trailed wet kisses down his chest.
Fabian looked up at him, his lips red and slick. "I'd love it but I want to come inside you."
Remus grinned wickedly as he crooked a finger for Fabian to come to him who couldn't resist. Remus was on him in an instant as he pushed him back with a laugh and lowered himself, arse high for Fabian to prepare and licked Fabian's cock thoroughly. Fabian groaned in a way that sent shivers down Remus' spine despite the blazing fire crackling away in the fireplace. He was already this close?
Remus released Fabian's cock with a hungry look and turned around when Fabian was done lubing him. They groaned in unison as Fabian gripped Remus' hips tightly and entered slowly.
It was good, so very good to have Fabian inside him. Fabian reached around with one hand tugging and twisting Remus' nipples until he moaned brokenly and kissed the nape of his neck softly. So close, so close…
One, two thrusts and without warning right when Fabian was about to thrust back in, he let out a loud moan and shaking, came in the cleft of Remus' arse, semen hitting his taut buttocks as he tried to push inside.
"You weren't kidding," Remus commented incredulously as he craned his neck back to stare at Fabian who had turned red with his hands still on Remus' hips.
"I can't help it, it's the Quidditch practice!"
Remus turned and leaned back as he spread his legs. "Well, I suppose I'll just give myself a hand then." He trailed his fingers under his balls and trembled when he felt Fabian's come, sticky and trickling down his thighs. "Come on," he whispered when he saw Fabian react again. He grinned; being a teenager was so good.
They fell against the bed, sated and comfortable in the afterglow of the sex. It was moments like these that made Remus wish he was a normal boy more than any other time; it got tiring to always have a tiny dark spot in the midst of his happiness. He felt Fabian's fingers curl against his.
"Y'know, Remus," Fabian said and raised their left hands, linked, "when we're like this, doesn't it feel like we could be soulmates?" His eyes were on the clear skins on both of their wrists and Remus felt that familiar tingle on his mark. He remained silent and squeezed the other's hand, hoping that Fabian could feel his answer in it.
Yeah, sometimes Remus believed that he could defy destiny's choices.
OOooOO
The summer holidays before Seventh Year went by without much excitement. The only bright light in the midst of all the shite Sirius had put him through with his prank was having Fabian over at his house.
"Remus, I'm worried about you," Fabian told Remus with a hug from behind. Hope had suggested "how about calling that boy Fabian you keep mentioning in your letters, dear?" and Remus had taken her up on the offer. Only now it seemed troublesome, just because Fabian was persistent about finding out why Remus was fighting with his best friends, why Remus looked pale, why Remus kept getting sick; too many "whys", and it irked Remus irrationally.
"Don't be, I'm fine," Remus told him shortly and Fabian tutted, annoyed. Fabian moved away to sit on Remus' bed.
"You know Remus, I don't want to pressure you, I don't." Fabian gripped the bed sheet. "Sometimes it gets tiring to be the boyfriend who's always kept in the dark. I just feel so helpless… not knowing what's wrong with you—it's—" He hung his head and Remus sat beside him, unsure of what to do.
"I'm sorry you have to feel that way, but I can't tell you, not now." Remus closed his eyes, shoulders hunched to keep himself from leaning against Fabian.
"Why not?" Fabian asked.
Remus felt his gaze directed at him but he couldn't muster up the courage to return it. "I'm scared of losing you," he whispered, and when he looked up, Fabian looked hurt. He opened his mouth and closed it, lost for words. He watched Fabian stand up and wave his wand to pack his bag. "Are you leaving?" Good lord, he sounded as pathetic as he felt.
"Yeah," Fabian replied mechanically and without looking at Remus, left to bid Hope farewell.
Remus followed him downstairs and to the door. "I'll see you in school," Remus called out, unable to let Fabian leave like this, let them be over like this.
"Yeah, see ya, Remus," Fabian returned softly and disapparated.
OOooOO
Fabian was avoiding him.
Almost a week and Remus had only seen Fabian from a distance. He hadn't thought that a pseudo-breakup would hurt this much; he missed Fabian terribly. He definitely had to find a way to corner Fabian.
As a last resort Remus headed towards the Quidditch locker-room where he found Fabian… in a position he did not want to see him in with another man.
"Fabian?" Remus called out and the redhead turned to look at him, startled as he froze in the middle of unbuttoning Barney Patil's shirt.
"Remus, hi. Just give me a minute," Fabian said normally before continuing and then moved back. "Alright, now sit over there but try to look casual and wait—this way, the shirt..."
Remus finally saw the camera and relaxed. Calm down, now. There was no need to start acting jealous just because his boyfriend had his hands on a muscular Quidditch player. Really. He straightened up when Patil left, handing Fabian a pouch of coins and a friendly slap.
"What was that about?" Remus asked curiously.
Fabian joined him as they exited the room. "Apparently his girlfriend wanted a photo of him."
Fabian seemed like his usual self so Remus inched closer to the redhead and let their arms brush in hopes of reconciling. "I was thinking of starting on my Transfiguration homework, care to join me?"
"Err—" Fabian looked uncomfortable suddenly and exhaled heavily before coming to a halt. "Remus, are you still unwilling to talk to me about your sickness?" There it was again, Remus should have known that even Fabian's patience could reach its limit. When he didn't reply, Fabian huffed and resumed their walk, a large distance between them.
"Fine," Fabian said but things were far from 'fine,' Remus realised when Fabian did study with him but that was all; no touches or words of endearment involved even when they parted for the night.
OOooOO
"Prewett knows about you."
Remus woke up with a parched throat and an agonizing gash across his thigh that felt like it was on fire. He blinked at his friends. "What?"
"Fabian's been hounding us to let him in to see you but Lily's talking to him now," James informed Remus with a look of warning at Sirius.
"Actually, I saw him in the library a lot this week," Peter supplied, "with this—" he raised his hands, "—huge pile of books on Magical Creatures." The others looked at him.
"How do you always know these things and never tell us on time?" Sirius asked with raised brows.
"Lads, focus," James called them and looked at Remus seriously. "What to do about Fabian? I'm sure he can keep a secret—"
"He's a sneaky bastard, alright," Sirius interjected furiously, "researching up on werewolves. Who knows what he plans to do with it!" James began trying to placate him and Remus shifted his attention towards the door.
So Fabian knew, was most likely sure of Remus' lycanthropy and he wanted to see Remus so he could hex—
The door opened and Fabian strode in with Lily at his heels, looking worried. Remus tried to sit up but Fabian pushed in between his friends who had stood up, ready to defend him.
"Fabian, I—"
Fabian kissed him. In front of his friends and Lily.
Remus blinked in surprise before Fabian leaned back to look at him. "You don't look like a wolf," he said seriously.
"But I am a werewolf, been one since I was five. I turn to a hairy beast every full moon. Do you honestly want to be with someone like me?" Remus was aware of the others who had yet to utter any noise, but Fabian took priority.
"You still don't look like one," Fabian repeated and then rubbed Remus' cheek tenderly. "For a smart guy, you're really quite daft. I love you, so I'm not going anywhere." Remus couldn't stop falling for him right then.
"What?!" Right. The others.
Remus slowly looked at his friends; he had a lot of explaining to do.
OOooOO
Remus knew Gideon didn't have a problem with Remus or Fabian. What he did have a problem with was Remus and Fabian. But after five years in a relationship they had learned to adjust for Fabian's sake. While Remus didn't make it a point to engage Gideon in conversation often, he didn't have much of a choice when Fabian sat broodingly at a critical time instead of going over the plan for their next mission.
"Molly had a talk with him again about the two of you," Gideon told Remus when he asked.
Remus grimaced. "Still?" Gideon smiled wryly at that.
"You'd think she would have gotten tired of it by now but she swears that there's this girl—sorry."
Remus shrugged; getting angry over it was not worth it. Fabian obviously had no intention of seeing this 'girl' Molly was talking about and letting his own insecurity eat at him would only make Fabian worry over him.
All in all, Remus was better off not thinking too much. He walked up to Fabian and nudged him to follow him outside for a walk.
"I love Molly, I do but sometimes she can be such a pain," Fabian complained, scowling in a way that made him look younger than his twenty one years. Remus could tell how much Molly's continual disapproval of them upset Fabian. He linked his fingers with Fabian's in a comforting gesture.
"She'll come around, she's just worried that she won't get to see little Fabians running around." Fabian seemed to cheer up at that but Remus couldn't help adding, "We aren't going to be around forever, after all."
Fabian turned to Remus with an amazed expression. "Remus, you're brilliant! Let's go back inside." The reason for Fabian's sudden excitement turned out to be an impromptu photoshoot of the Order.
"Come on, everyone, line up now. Not so stiff—this isn't going on anyone's resumé." After a lot of jostling around and grumblings—mainly from Moody—the photograph of the Order of the Phoenix was clicked. Somehow everyone seemed less tense after that.
Fabian leaned in closer to Remus to whisper, "Wanna go back to mine to make some little Fabians?"
It was the worst pick-up line in all of history but Remus laughed louder than he should have and followed Fabian.
"Hey, Remus, show me your mark for a second." Unlike Remus, Fabian hadn't grown jaded enough with the war. That was why he could still be silly enough to stop mid-coitus and summon a black marker he had nicked from Remus to copy Remus' soulmate mark on his wrist.
Remus had laughed and laughed like he hadn't done in years; of the two of them, Fabian was the real romantic. He lost count of how many times he told Fabian how much he loved him then.
OOooOO
Fabian was…
Remus remained on his seat beside Sirius, unfeeling of the looks of pity thrown his way by his friends as he listened to Dumbledore update everyone on their current numbers and how valiantly the Prewett brothers had fought to stand up against the Death Eaters.
Fabian was…dead.
Five Death Eaters. It must have hurt, whatever they had done to Fabian and Gideon. Dumbledore could sugarcoat it but Moody's words had been "brutally murdered". Remus was nudged by Peter when the meeting ended and he automatically stood up to leave.
"Moony," Sirius said seriously but didn't offer anything else.
Remus didn't want to hear anything anybody had to say about Fabian. Ready to exit and apparate to his dingy flat with overdue rent, he didn't register the commotion at the gate until a pair of hands grabbed the front of his shirt and he was faced with a head full of red, frizzy hair.
"Why didn't you save him? How could you let that happen to my brother?"
Remus coolly looked at Molly, livid and hurt—so easy for her to express her feelings over Fabian's death. What were the odds that he and Benjy got out alive while Fabian and Gideon got captured by Dolohov?
Remus took hold of Molly's hands to release himself from her grip. "Molly, you're making a scene," Remus said softly.
At that Molly's eyes brightened with unshed tears. "You don't even feel anything, do you?" she accused him. "He could have had anyone; Fabian could have. He could have had a family—but because of you—all because of you—" She tightened her grip enough to rip his shirt and Remus watched, detached as her husband Arthur pulled her into his arms. Remus didn't stand long enough to watch her sob into Arthur's chest.
It wasn't until Remus laid down on his rickety bed that he looked at his hands. It took a moment to sink in, what he was seeing.
There was no mark on his wrist.
Immediately Remus tried undoing the Glamour charm that hadn't been there in the first place and continued until he realised what it meant and when he did—shocked—he fainted.
Three days later the gruff landlady rang him awake and Remus, left with no choice apparated to his parents' house. The moment he saw his mother's homely face he felt some form of emotion unfurl and when she hugged him, he almost cried. Almost, but he didn't, because he was twenty one and old enough to fight but too young to die.
He warded off all questions and when Hope got the hint, she let him go to his room where he sat for hours, staring at the cover of the album he had left on his table before moving out—a gift from Fabian which contained eight photos of him and Fabian, and four of Remus that he had finally gotten the permission to click.
A knock at Remus' door jarred him awake from where he had been sitting on the floor, leaning against the wall, and Hope came inside. She sat beside him and opened the album.
"I'm sorry he died. He was a really good friend, wasn't he?" Remus might have said a vague "yeah" but he couldn't be sure. Without another word Hope opened her arms. Remus laid his head on her chest and didn't cry; she wouldn't understand.
He was my soulmate, mama.
He didn't say anything; he needed to hold on to what shred of normalcy he had left. Fabian had been twenty one and too young to die, so full of life, so full of love…
"Oh, Remus," Hope whispered as Remus' body trembled and she stroked his hair. "My poor baby."
THE END.