Disclaimer: Scarecrow and Mrs. King is the property of Warner Brothers and Shoot the Moon Productions. This story is the property of my own imagination and is for entertainment purposes only! I retain the right to the plot, not the characters! No copyright infringement is intended!
Lanie, thank you for your continuing beta support.
Crazy Little Thing Called Love
Lee Stetson couldn't help it. He didn't know how often he had been sneaking around here lately, but with every time he did; he felt the object of his desire being a little closer. His highly trained skills as a secret agent worked in his favor even though he knew all too well he shouldn't use his status for his private preferences, but he did it anyhow, and tonight had been no exception…
It was late fall and already dark. The wind increased so Lee pulled up the collar of his woolen coat. "What the hell am I doing here?" he cursed quietly. Spying on your baby, an inner voice replied. "Shut up, Pal!" he snapped in irritation and shook his head. Great, just great! Here he was, in the middle of the night because he couldn't sleep, standing across the house from where he knew his baby lived, and was talking to himself. Things have come to a pretty pass!
Could get it any worse? He wondered. Yes it could. Raindrops began to fall. One by one at first but then it seems that the heaven had opened its floodgates and fat raindrops splashed mercilessly earthwards, leaving the only standing outside person soaked wet in its wake. "Damn it! I finished off my dinner plate tonight, but it seems you didn't, did you?" grumbled Lee into the pitch black sky. Great! Now he was not only talking to himself but with God also. The response followed promptly on spot. Thunderbolts were flashing in the distance, lighting up the nightly sky as a few seconds later the loud clap of a thunder could be heard.
BOOOM!
"Seriously? Fine! You won – this time", stated Lee and jogged hurriedly to his car he had parked within sight down the street. After tossing his soaked and heavy coat carelessly onto the passenger seat, he slipped behind the steering wheel started the motor and sped off to his empty apartment.
The next day at the Agency...
"My, my, my, Scarecrow. Look at you! Have a roll in the sheets last night, did you?" smirked Francine from her desk as her co-worker entered the Bullpen. The light dark circles under his eyes obviously an evidence of yet another night with not all too much sleep.
"Can it, Desmond", snapped Lee and headed for the coffee machine without giving her any further attention.
"Still stuck on first base!" she spoke quietly and shook her head. No wonder he's been so cranky this morning. Wait! Only this morning? No, he's been cranky for a while now, hasn't he? Francine wondered and watched in amusement as Lee discovered that there was no coffee left. She quickly ducked her head. "Oh Lord. Here we go again," she mumbled. "Grumpy Scarecrow, take two. Aaaaaand action…"
"Congratulation, Stetson! Your day at work without coffee has just begun. Welcome to hell," he said in his most sarcastically cheering voice and banged his empty mug frustratingly back on the tablet. As luck would have it, the little spoons in the nearby standing cup jumped out and landed on the Bullpen floor with a loud clatter. "What the hell?" He knelt down to retrieve the offending spoons, grumbling all the way as he did so and pointed with a warning finger as he placed the spoons back in the mug, "Stay put!"
He hoped it couldn't get any worse…
The office door of his superior Billy Melrose opened and his booming voice filled the busily occupied Bullpen.
"SCARECROW! My office. NOW!"
Out of the danger zone and safely seated behind her desk, Francine watched the whole scene in fascination. "Serves you right," she mumbled barely audible. "And don't think you are out of the doghouse. The best is yet to come." Her perfect colored lips curved in to a devilish grin just by the thought of what was about to come. Oh how she would love to be a fly on the wall in her boss' holy four walls.
Without any further complaints but with not much motivation either, Lee entered Billy's office. As he closed the door behind him he spotted a mug filled with hot and still steaming coffee.
"Thank God you have coffee," Lee exclaimed relieved and without greeting him properly, he grabbed happily for the mug and sat down in front of Billy's desk as if he couldn't care less. Lee then took a greedy swig of the black gold and almost choked, but not because of its hotness. "I hate sugar in my coffee!" He made a disgusted face and set the mug back down on Billy's desk a little too forcefully. The black liquid almost spilled over the rim of the mug.
"Your coffee, Scarecrow? Did you just say your coffee?" Billy's voice rose with each word as he glared at his all but domesticated best agent, leaning threateningly over his desk, staring him down all the time.
The Bullpen turned quiet for a moment upon hearing the drowning voice coming from inside of Billy Melrose's office. As if on cue, his head turned through the opened blinds toward the Bullpen and everyone turned back to their tasks at hand immediately, so did he.
Both men stared silently at one another for a moment before Billy sat down in his big office chair and reached for his mug. He didn't say a word; he just sat there and sipped silently his coffee.
Lee, always feeling uncomfortable around silent treatments, rose and ran a hand through his hair while he began to pace. After a few seconds of absolute silence he stopped his pacing and spoke, "Look, Billy," he began, "I'm sorry for … you know …," he gestured to the mug in Billy's hand. He paused to look at his superior.
"And?"
"Uhhh. And … what?"
"Need a little reminder to refresh your foggy mind Scarecrow, do you?"
Billy's tone was dangerously calm considering his little outburst a few moments ago, a little too calm for Lee's taste and before Lee could respond, he reached into his desk drawer.
"Here," Billy said and tossed an empty foil wrapper across the table.
Lee's face turned red as he stared at it and suddenly his tie began to close around his neck automatically with every beat of his wildly pounding heart. Instinctively he reached for the tie in an attempt to loosen the offending garment. He swallowed down the hard lump that had formed in his throat. Again he ran a hand through his slightly tousled hair.
"Wh … where did you … uhh … who did find it where?" he stammered wide eyed at his superior.
Instead of answering Lee's question Billy fired quizzically back at him, "Where were you last night, Scarecrow?" He glared at his best agent.
"Are you kidding? Is that an interrogation or … -"
"Do I look like I'm kidding?" Billy interrupted him, his voice began to rise again and he needed to pop in one of his acids pills to calm his stomach before he continued, "Don't get smart with me, Scarecrow! I'm so damn tired of your cocky and cranky behavior. Just answer my question – pronto!"
Billy's eyes darkened with every second passing by without an answer.
"I was out last night because I couldn't sleep. Are you happy now?" Lee looked at his superior and folded his arms in front of his chest.
"Have you taken the car?"
"Of course I've taken the car. And before you ask, I have put in some gas," he stated in self defense.
Billy's voice rose extremely high in stereo with his face turning red.
"Damn the gas! That's not the point. I would like to know why the car, which, by the way, you have gotten on Agency account is stinking like a herd of sheep had slept in it, not to mention that the passenger seat, is soaking wet."
"Geez, Billy, I can explain this. I got soaking wet myself on my way to the car. It had rained cats and dogs all of a sudden. I had worn my old woolen coat and tossed it onto the passenger seat. That's probably where the smell and wetness came from." Lee's jaw clenched as he continued angrily, "And I swear to you, if I ever get my hands on that stupid weatherman Don, Dan or whatever his name is, from channel 9, I'm going to whack his slimy grin out of his face, with my umbrella before I'm going to stick the end of it in his damn …," Lee ended abruptly at seeing the furious look on Billy's face, "he…uh…he…ruined my coat," he said flatly. "My dad's coat. I, at least want him to pay the cleaners."
"I see," said Billy. "But that's no excuse for screwing around in any of the Agency cars with your last night's conquest, is it?" He pointed to the empty foil wrapper on his desk.
"WHAT?! I beg your pardon!" Lee looked shocked at Billy. "I wasn't … -, never mind," he finished with a wave of his hand. "You wouldn't believe me anyway, would you?"
"And how the hell did that," he pointed at the object of their argument, "turn up in the car you borrowed from the Agency car pool?" Billy demanded to know. Riley found it this morning when you brought back the car for inspection among other things. You left the car in a pretty mess. It looks like your apartment, just on four wheels! Why haven't you at least cleaned the car before you returned it back? Are you really as brainless as your codename would suggest? Man, what's just wrong with you?"
Billy sighed deeply. Lee Stetson was his best agent and like a son to him. He felt responsible for him somehow. Lee's past has been one of those you would never wish for your archenemy. He just hoped that maybe someday he would find a person who could break down the ten feet tall high wall he had built up around his vulnerable being.
"I'll take care of the mess I left the car with," Lee finally said, his professional agent face sat back in place. "You get the car back in the same condition you gave it to me by the end of the day. You have my word."
Billy nodded approvingly as Lee headed for the door.
Before he left the office he turned his head. "Thank you, Billy. I promise this is never going to happen again."
Billy fixed Lee with a deadly look. "Get out of here before I change my mind to have your brainless head on my platter." His voice carried an unmistakable message.
"Yes, Bil… errr…Sir."
One week later…
With a light bounce in his step and a smile on his face as bright as the sun Lee Stetson entered the Bullpen. He whistled and greeted every person who crossed his way.
Francine's head shot up as her co-worker stood in front of her desk. With his arms folded in front of his chest he grinned at her broadly.
"Finally got to third base, huh?"
"Forget all about third bases," he swooned. "My baby is beyond every damn base in the universe."
Francine arched an eyebrow as Lee went on.
"Her body is the hottest I have ever seen. She's fast, damn fast and the sounds she makes when I take her on a ride are indescribable," he paused and sighed wistfully, "The only thing I have to complain about though is she's a little tighter and smaller than my last baby. First I thought I wouldn't fit but I somehow managed it, after all I have promised not to hurt her."
"Don't you think you just exaggerate here a little on the fitting part?" Francine's blue eyes were boring challengingly into his as she continued, "I mean you sure are…uh…blessed with a talented package, but it's not like it needs to be sent with the UPS service when a station wagon would be enough."
Lee looked puzzled. "What the hell are you talking… -," He stared at her as realization settled in. He couldn't help the snorting laughter that made its way from deep down his stomach up his throat, while he fumbled for something in his jeans pocket.
Now it was Francine who looked puzzled.
"May I have the honor of introducing you to my new baby?" Lee's eyes were sparkling as he pulled out a key to dangle it in front of Francine's face.
She stared at Lee, then to the key and back at Lee again."This is your baby? You were talking about a car?"
"Of course I was talking about a car … my car," he added proudly before he said in a mock shocked voice, "Get your mind out of the gutter, Francine! Backgammon was yesterday; today is all about my Porsche classic from 1963, my new baby, and if you are nice to her I'm willingly to give you a test ride. But I hope you won't be disappointed it's not a UPS vehicle nor a station wagon." Lee winked at her and turned on his heels, leaving his co-worker gaping open mouthed after him…
Please No Spoilers in the reviews. Thank you.