A/N:
written like this, thus a more emotional story.
This is also a a new take on my previous story, "Stupid Silly Girl", which I wrote about 3 years ago. I don't think it will follow it exactly, but similarly.
..: Stupid Silly Girl :..
I fumbled with my keys as I tried to unlock my front door. Taking a second to steady my hand, I leaned against the barren wood. Memories of the day came to me in violent waves.
Today was the first day of school, I was now a junior. Sadly, it was terrible from the get-go. As soon as I got to my locker, Lana was there.
"Chloe!" Lana exclaimed, a bright smile plastered on her face. "Guess what?"
"What?" I asked, not particularly in the same cheerful decorum as her. I tried the combination to my lock.
"Clark finally asked me to go to the homecoming dance! He's so timid that I thought he never would." She gave me a knowing smile, her eyebrows raised. I screwed up my combination, and had to try it again.
"What's that look for?" I asked. She flushed.
"Oh come on Chloe, I know you convinced Clark to ask me. Thank you." Lana put her soft white hand on my shoulder. It made my skin squirm, and I felt like I would break out in rashes at any moment.
"It's nice to see that even after what happened to your father, your still the same."
My gut flopped. Dad.
"Well thanks anyways, but I didn't pressure Clark to ask you." I forced a smile. "I guess he got up the courage to ask you himself."
I could feel my skin sag and my brows furrow. He asked her.
"Really?" Lana asked out loud. "I thought since you guys are so close..." she started.
"No." I stopped her, a little irritated. My locker remained closed, the lock forgotten. "I've been busy lately, so I haven't talked to him all summer."
Lana stood there with a look of shock and curiosity. "Uhhh..." she said. "Well, I should get going, I have to find Clark before the bell rings." She skittered away, and I immediately regretted my actions.
It's not like I hate Lana, even though I often tell myself that I do. It's just that the way she treats Clark sometimes bothers me. Like the way she always gets mad at Clark, saying that he's so secretive and
a fabricator. It makes me think that she really doesn't know him at all.
Without any distractions, I made a second attempt at my locker. 2-26-6. I had just begun to open it when suddenly it was slammed shut. Clark's hand was holding it closed, and he looked at me with a look of concern and contempt. I thought it rather sexy.
"Chloe! Where the hell have you been? Are you ignoring me? Are you alright? I tried to get a hold of you all summer!" He said, rushing his words. My hands fidgeted, I was getting nervous. "One question at a time Clark, what are you? A Neanderthal?" I asked, pointing out his hand, which still held my locker shut.
He looked at his hand, blushed, and pulled it away. "Sorry." he said. I opened my locker, cursing. My day was sure taking a toll for the worse. I could feel Clark's eyes on me as I bent down and gathered my Calculus 30 and Math B30 textbooks. He looked at them confused. "Your taking senior classes?" He asked.
I avoided his eyes, looking at passing students instead. "Yeah. When my Dad died I decided to take some summer classes. To keep my mind off of it." I said. Clark went quiet. I looked at him. His eyes bore into mine, I felt myself shrinking. Claustrophobia enveloped me like a straight jacket.
"Chloe. Are you alright?" He asked me. "I mean...really. How are you holding up?" His hands gasped my shoulders, strong, but gentle at the same time. Unlike Lana's touch, I felt warmth flow through my shoulders and down my legs. I felt like I was turning from a cold shade of Grey to a bright tint of white.
"Clark finally asked me to go to the homecoming dance!" Lana's voice rang in my head.
I moved away from Clark's grasp. I felt cold again. "I'm fine, Clark." I said and started to walk away.
Clark didn't try to stop me.
Taking a slow breath in, I unlocked the door and went inside. The quietness stroke me as odd at first, but then I remembered that I lived alone now. The usual aroma of supper never greeted me anymore. Nor the warm "Hello" and "How was your day?"
The giant house didn't feel like home anymore. It was just there, taunting me with echoes of laughter and flutters of footsteps. I felt like I was losing my mind.
My life was like a routine now. Get up, go to school, come home, and cry myself to sleep. I never wanted to become like this. Back before my Father died, I could never understand Lana's pain. Now I could. But I think that she had it easier, because she was so little when her parents died, she didn't have all the memories taunting her. She could move on. I couldn't.
I have found a way to deal with the pain though, to stop these memories from burning my very soul. It started right after my Dad died. Before, I could handle my feelings. I had a sense of control. But that died along with my father. Now I couldn't handle anything, even the littlest things bothered me.
I hurried up the stairs to my room. I didn't turn on any lights. I could find my way around this house with my eyes shut. I located my dresser and pulled open the bottom drawer. In it were neatly folded panties and bra's. But along the bright prints of flowers and delicate patterns of lace lay a dirty folded rag. I pulled it out and left the room silently.
The white walls of the bathroom burned my iris' as I flicked the light switch. Everything looked like it was attacked with bleach. Its shear brightness contrasted the rest of the house.
I took a step in and looked at myself in the cabinet mirror. My short, layered blonde hair framed my face. It seemed to keep my pale white skin from dissipating into the walls. Everything was becoming blurry, the five bulbs above the mirror twinkling and spanning my vision. I was crying.
I went to the tub and turned the silver taps, liberally turning the hot. Making sure it was plugged, I straightened myself out and began to take off my clothes. They weren't wet, but peeled off as if they were. Just like that night...
My hands went to my head, grasping at my hair. I shook myself, trying to force the memories back into the depths of my sub conscience.
The bathtub was full. I turned the taps off and slowly got into the water. The water wasn't as pleasant as I hoped it would be. The hot water rushed over my calves, thighs and butt as I eased myself in. The steam made it hard to breathe.
I unraveled the fabric in my hand. The blade was exposed. Its stainless steal reflected the white walls. I dropped the fabric that protected the blade to the floor. I placed the blade on my wrist. Just one good swipe. I thought. And the pain will leave.
One... I pressed the blade harder into my flesh. Two... A bright red bead of liquid exposed itself at the base of the blade. Three...I was shaking now.
I dropped the blade, the water swallowed it with a silent plop. I was exposed now, the memories would reveal themselves again. The water pulled me under, I was captured.
The rain came down hard. It was humid, which made it hard to breathe. My clothes were wet in seconds, and I felt myself slouch at the thought of walking home. But before I could cross the street towards the Talon, Clark pulled up beside me in his truck. He leaned over and opened the passenger side door for me. "Are you insane?" He said. "Get in!"
I reluctantly got in. I didn't like accepting help, not even from Clark. "My house isn't that far, Clark." I said, rolling my eyes. "I could have made it fine..." I started. Clark laughed. "Yeah right." He said. I couldn't help but smile. His laugh meant everything to me.
We chatted on for a bit, about meaningless things like coupe's and red Plymouth's. Eventually the conversation led to Lana. It always did.
"She's so different..." blah blah blah "...We talked at the Talon..." blah blah blah "...I'm going to ask her out!" He finished. I looked up at him, I hadn't really been paying attention. I'd rather not spend the rest of the night sulking around, wallowing in self-pity.
He stopped the truck. I opened the side door and got out. "Good luck, then." I said and gave him a thumbs up. He flashed a wide smile. "Thanks for the talk. I really enjoyed it." I nodded and shut the door. My clothes, which had started to dry on the drive home instantly clung at every curve of my body. The warm rain wet my hair, and probably smudged my make-up. I hoped I hadn't looked like a raccoon in the car with Clark.
I watched as Clark's red pick-up turned the corner, heading for the Kent farm. I walked quickly to the front door, getting out my keys and fumbling to unlock the front door. Before I could get the key in, though, I realized the door wasn't locked at all. "Guess dads home early" I thought, and walked in.
The house was quiet. "Dad?" I called out. No answer. I walked into the kitchen, no one was there. I walked into the dining room, and again, no one was there. "Daddy?" I called, getting a little bit scared. "I swear I locked the front door." I thought out loud. I started to walk up to my room when I heard a soft clunking sound, It was coming from the closet.
Hesitantly, I went back down the stairs and to the closet door on the side of the staircase. The sound remained soft, but still grew louder. My hand latched onto the doorknob, and opened it forcefully.
Nothing was there. "Must be my imaginati..." I thought, when suddenly I was pulled backwards. In a massive blur I was thrown onto the dining room table. It groaned under the newly added weight. My stomach fell to my feet as a body was pressed against my back, rendering me unable to move. Gloved hands roamed my body as I struggled to get free. "Cooperate, or I'll kill your father." a cold, calculating voice said.
"Where is he?" I screamed, malevolence laced in every word I spoke. I gritted my teeth as he clenched at my breasts. "On his way home, I suspect." He said nonchalantly. "What do you want?" I asked, my voice strained. My wrist felt like it was cracking under his weight. I wanted to turn around and see him. He leaned forward, I could feel his cheek against mine.
The opening of the front door could be heard. The hallway light was turned on. "Chloe?" My father called. "Why are all the lights off...?" He was only a few steps away from the dining room, I prayed he wouldn't come in.
I could feel the mans smile against my cheek. He whispered in my ear.
"Time to play."
I plunged out of the water, gasping for air. I quickly got out of the tub and let the water drain. I took the blade from the water and the fabric from the floor and threw both into the waste basket next to the toilet. I wrapped myself in a long, translucent nightgown which clung to my naked body. On the way to the living room I took a bottle of Jack Daniels from the liquor cabinet.
"This will make me forget" I thought, as I collapsed on the sofa. "That's all I want to do...Forget."