A/N: So yeah, I was listening to Learning To Fly by the Foo Fighters when this fic just burst into my mind. I had to get it wrote down before I forgot it :P
Ichigo looked at Renji dumbfounded. "What did you say?"
"I wanna learn to drive!" Renji said, smiling.
Ichigo stared at him a little longer before bursting into a fit of laughter.
The smile dropped off Renji's face. "What's so funny?"
It was a while before Ichigo could answer and, when he could, he was gasping for breath and wiping tears from his eyes.
"You? Learn to drive? You gotta be kiddin me!"
"Why? You can drive."
"Yes but Renji, I need to so I can get to college, plus, it can be really complicated."
"It can't be that complicated, loads of people drive."
"Loads of people aren't you."
"It's nice to know you think of me as individual."
"That's not what I meant!"
Renji looked away from the yelling strawberry and down at the raven haired girl on the floor.
"You think I could drive don't you Rukia?"
"Sure, why not." She said absent mindedly, not looking up from her drawings.
"Thanks for the encouragement Rukia!" He grinned, moving over to the window.
"Hey! Don't get ahead of yourself pineapple. You can't even work a microwave never mind a car."
"I'll manage!" And with that, he was gone.
"Thanks for the help Rukia!" Ichigo huffed, dropping onto his bed.
"Help with what?"
Ichigo looked at her like she was insane.
"You just basically told Renji to go drive a car!"
"I did?" She blinked.
"Yes!"
'Hmm…I'm sure he'll be fine."
"I have no doubt about that. But I'm leaving you to perform the konso on all the innocent people he kills."
Rukia snorted.
--
"Renji Abarai?"
Renji looked around, but there was nobody in sight. He glanced down and flinched in shock. In front of him stood a man no larger than 4 ft 6, with white wispy hair and large, thick glasses that magnified his eyes. He looked like a decrepit owl.
"Yo."
"I'm Mr. Namikawa and I'll be your driving instructor."
"Cool!" He grinned uncertainly.
Renji followed the little old man over to a Renault Clio, getting in when the little old man gestured. Within no time, Renji was sitting in front of the steering wheel and raring to go.
The little old man began to talk, explaining what everything was and how to use it and Renji tried his best to listen but, after five minutes, he was sitting staring blankly at the man, wondering to himself how big his eyes would be if Renji took his glasses off him.
Is that clear Mr. Abarai?" Mr. Namikawa asked, pulling Renji out of his stupor.
"Oh yeah, crystal clear." He smiled, in all honesty, the only thing he had heard was about the accelerator and break.
"Shall we go then?"
"Let's do this!"
The little man jumped, slightly startled by this redheads enthusiasm.
"Okay," he said, "Lightly press the accelerator and I will tell you where to go."
Renji placed his feet on the pedals and shook his shoulders, getting ready to prove Ichigo wrong.
He started to press his foot down lightly on the accelerator and the car started inching forward, agonizingly slowly. He pressed foot down a little harder, but the car barely sped up that much. Every so often he would press down a bit harder and the car would move a bit faster. The painful minutes crawled by until-
"Fuck it." He slammed his foot down on the pedal and shot off down the road, well and truly breaking the speed limit.
--
Ichigo shivered. "Can you hear that?"
"Hear what?" Rukia asked.
"The screams from across town."
"Now that you mention it, yeah I can…"
"You don't think that coz of Renji do you…?"
They both looked at each other for a second.
"Nahhh."
--
Renji had his head stuck out of the open window yelling to tell people to get out of the way as he drove, waving his spare arm wildly.
"Get out of the road you maniacs!" He yelled, swerving to avoid a group of girls.
"They're not on the road! And neither are you!!!!" The driving instructor screeched, clinging onto his chair for dear life.
"I'm not? Oops." He swerved off the pathway, narrowly missing lamp post and pulling in between two cars that honked angrily.
"So how do you think I'm doing?" Renji grinned wolfishly, looking at the little man.
Said little man just stared back at the boy in horror. Only tearing his eyes from his face to yell about there cross road and red light he was about to run though.
"STOP!"
"Why?"
The driving instructor just closed his eyes tight shut and waited for the pain to come, listening to more angry honking and the screeching of brakes. When it didn't however, he opened his eyes and found they were past the crossroads.
Renji continued this crazy driving for what seemed like forever before he turned left down a street. Ahead he could see a brick wall but no exit. Now he knew he was screwed.
"Where's the break again?"
"WHAT!?"
"I said where the god damn break old man? Do you wanna die?!!!"
"Next to the accelerator you imbecile!"
Renji began to laugh, "Who says imbecile anymore?"
"JUST STOP THE GOD DAMN CAR!"
"Fine!"
Renji slammed his foot on the break, worried that it might have been a little too late.
As luck would have it though, he stopped just centimeters short of the wall.
He laughed again, a feral grin spreading over his face. "That. Was. AWESOME!...How do you think I did?"
For a while, the only sound in the car was that of Mr. Namikawa's gasping breaths.
"Get out of my car."
"Huh? Was I no good?" Renji asked, the grin disappearing again.
The old man just began to laugh…and laugh….and laugh some more. Manically. This sight scared Renji , a little ball of old sitting and screeching next to him. He chose that moment to slip out of the car and flee.
--
"I told you so." Ichigo smirked
"Shut up." Renji pouted, lying on Ichigo's bed.
"How many people died?"
"No one as far as I know but I'd be happy to add you to the body count."
"Bring it pineapple."
Rukia sighed. 'Maybe I should learn to drive?...'
MisaxMisa: Remind me never to get in a car with him driving.
Ichigo: The only car Renji will be driving are stolen ones.
Renji: Why? *looks confused*
Ichigo: Because no one in their right mind would give you one.
MisaxMisa: It's so true XD