Authors Note: Hello All! I'm not a big fan of Dean, I'm a Trory and even * Gasp * becoming a Lit, but I'm not a big fan of the way Rory treated Dean either, so here is a little short Dean fic.

I Hate You, I Love You

Damn it. Damn it. I didn't want to hurt her. Why did she have to cry? I wanted her to turn around and to tell me, "What are you talking about Dean? I don't like Jess at all. I'm into you." And I wanted it to be true. But it would have been a lie, and if I had gone with it I would have been acting like I have for to long. Ignoring It all. She played me for stupid, and I lay down like a loyal dog and took it, because I loved her. I wanted my mind to be playing tricks on me, and I tried to ignore their secret little glances. At first, when he was her good friend, it was all about borrowing books and discussing those smart things that Dean, good, loyal boyfriend Dean was certainly to infantile to understand. I hated that. I borrowed books from her too! Why didn't she talk to me about them that much? She thought his little notes in the margins were so great, the sign of a smart man. Hello! Who was the one flunking out of school? Not her stupid, stupid boyfriend. Oh, and about that. So sweet Princess Rory offers to play tutor to Jess, and made sure her boyfriend didn't know about it. She let him drive the car I built for her. Even after he broke her wrist in a car accident, even after he sent her to the hospital, she still defended him. She felt so bad that everybody hated him for hurting her. Damn it! It was like the more trouble he got her in, the more she liked him. One time I wrote something there, and she complained that I was tearing up her books. I still can't believe that she came to my window, I should have expected it, Princess Rory is to good not to tie up loose ends. Maybe they don't want to be tied, or maybe they can't because she's been tearing at them for months. She doesn't want me to hate her, and I said that I don't want to either. I lied there, for the first time ever to her. I don't hate her. I couldn't, because after everything, after all the hell she's put me through I will always love her. Then there was with that girl. Shane. Rory was so damn jealous and she had no right to be. She had a boyfriend, and she was all upset that some sex-crazy boy was with a sex-crazy girl having sex. Oh, and that's another thing. Sex. I didn't push Rory to anything, ever. In two years we never did anything but make out and only on princess Rory's terms. I was so patient, so good. I bet even if we'd lasted till we got married it'd been months before we'd have had sex. When he came back, I hated him more than I ever had, and I hoped she did to, I mean, he broke her wrist, and left town! Oh sure, she tried her hardest to convince me she hated him. She tried to convince everybody that she hated him, especially herself. She didn't though. Every time I hugged her I had to worry she was searching for him over my shoulder. Every time I kissed her I worried she was imagining his face. I remember when she devil egged his car. We laughed and had a good time over it, but secretly she was wondering if he was at this second cleaning it, and secretly I wondered why all roads always led back to him. It was always about him. Then came the dance marathon. It made me sick. We sat there to get food, and she dropped my name as her boyfriend, only to make him jealous. She pulled herself into my arms for the same reason. When we were dancing, it was all about Jess, Jess, Jess. She went on about it for forever and I told her to just ignore him. I should have known she couldn't. He told her to pay attention to her boyfriend, and then it happened. I don't know if it took minutes, seconds, hours or what before they became "Boyfriend and Girlfriend." All I know was that I lost Rory Gilmore to that son of a bitch. I hate her. I hate him.