Connie was one of those people who lived for work, but contrary to common belief it wasn't entirely because she wanted to. Grace, Connie's daughter had gone to live with her dad again even though Connie had raced to stop her going; Grace saw Jacob as a threat and blackmailed Connie into breaking up with him causing her to slide deeper and deeper into a depressive state. Connie shut herself off resulting in Grace feeling rejected and going back to America. As a result Connie felt more and more alone, she had no one to go home to; staying at work as much as possible was the only solution she had. Sleeping in the on call room and only going home to shower and get fresh clothes.

Everyone could tell that she was unhappy by how short tempered she was, she had reverted back to the frosty personality she had when she first started in the ED. It was getting to the point that everyone avoided her as much as possible for fear she'd bite their head off; everyone except Charlie and Jacob.

It was a sunny day and that meant the ED was very busy, just as Connie dealt with her tenth heatstroke patient she felt a sharp pain in her stomach and then snapped at Robyn when she asked what was wrong. Connie charged past her in the direction of her office trying to hold back the tears. Charlie watched her go past before quickly following:

"Come on Connie this needs to change. You've gone back to the 'ice queen' all closed off. What's wrong? I thought it was getting better"

"Maybe I'm just sick of being happy and opening up to people only for it to be slammed back in my face the next minute. I just can't do it anymore. It's easier to shut everyone out than allow someone into a situation that will inevitably end in tears."

"He still loves you, you know and I know you love him too"

"But that's not enough is it. I need his help in order to look after Grace but Grace won't stay with me if I'm with him. So its better to just have neither, that way no one gets hurt"

"No, everyone gets hurt that way."

"But what else can I do?"

"I don't know Connie talk it out with them. I've got to get back to work now but if you need me I'm always on the end of a phone." Connie just nodded, trying not to show how much pain she was in; she still had cramps in her stomach and she had been having them for a while, she'd put it down to stress but her period was two months late and there was a thought in the back of her mind which was driving her crazy. She decided to buy a pregnancy test and go home, she only had an admin day anyway. She left to get one from the supermarket and then went home properly for the first time in weeks. After getting into her comfiest clothes she took the pregnancy test and then sat twitching as she waited for the result.

She checked the test after what seemed like an age; reading the positive result she screamed so loudly she was surprised the neighbours didn't come to see if she was being murdered but shrugged it off saying they probably wouldn't care. For the next three hours she just sat frozen on the sofa turning the test over and over in her hand. She didn't know what was she going to do with her and Jacob split up, unable to be together due to her current child. This really threw a spanner in the works, she'd have to talk to Grace. She couldn't do this alone and it was only fair that Jacob had involvement after all it was his child too.

She sat in her lounge holding the test in her hand for another hour oblivious to the world. There was a loud knock which sounded through her house but she just sat there not even registering it. They persisted and eventually the loud knocks broke through her haze and she went to answer the door to find Jacob stood on her doorstep.

"Connie I need to talk to you and I need you to listen" he followed her through to the lounge as she nodded unable to form words she quickly hid the test so he wouldn't see it "I've been thinking over things a lot recently and I need to know."

"Know what?"

"The reason for it all. To know you're okay, everything"

"Firstly I can't tell you why because you'd hate me, or call me weak; secondly that's not really your concern anymore and thirdly you shouldn't even be here." He could tell this was going to be hard but he could manage it

"I have a right to know the reason, I won't call you weak or hate you I never could okay? Sometimes I wish I could, it would make this process so much easier but it's just impossible. Therefore I at least deserve to know why one minute I'm the happiest man alive and the next its all ripped away from me like it meant nothing"

"Fine Jacob, fine... Grace! She didn't want us to be together because she felt she'd lose attention, she said either I chose her and broke up with you or I chose you and she goes back to America. I can't lose her! She's gone back now anyway but I still I can't, if I did then there's no chance of her coming back."

"Its okay I understand but why couldn't you tell me"

"I was scared you'd think me weak for not standing up to my 11 year old child"

"Never. I would never think that. Are you okay?"

"I-I I'm adjusting after I broke up with you I slipped into a dark place and I was depressed. I snapped at everyone and avoided home as much as possible and eventually...Grace had enough and left and that just made stuff worse. But I'm fine"

"You're clearly not, what is it?"

"Nothing Jacob. Please just go"

"Connie..."

"Leave now! I said go! Please just get out of my house!" Jacob started leaving then before turning to look at her.

"You know if you ever need anything all you have to do is pick up the phone."

"Just go!" He did so as she collapsed on the floor tears pouring down her cheeks. 'Why do I screw everything up?' She asked herself as she went to the kitchen too find a bottle of wine but then remembering her recent news she smashed the bottle in the sink, punching at it so her hands were cut to ribbons and it was clear she was going to need stitches. Even so she just sat in the kitchen for half an hour letting her hands bleed before she finally picked up her phone and started dialling a number, it wasn't until it was ringing that she realized who she was calling "Hello? Connie? Is that you?"

"J-jacob h-help please my hands... Blood... Stupid..." She managed to say through the tears

"Okay, okay calm down... Are your hands bleeding?"

"Yes... I'm I'm gonna need stitches"

"Okay I'll come and get you"

"Not Holby..."

"We'll go to St James', Will you be okay till I get there?"

"I think so"

"Okay I'll see you in a bit then." He hung up before driving over as quickly as possible he was panicking after all he left her and that was probably the trigger. Arriving at her house he knocked on the door but when he got no answer he searched for a spare key finding one under a flowerpot "Connie baby where are you?"

"Kitchen" he walked in and was shocked to see her sat on the floor clutching her hands inside tea towels and her white blouse was covered in blood, then he noticed the smashed wine bottle in the sink which had blood on as though it had been continuously punched

"Okay let's get you up and then we'll go to the ED, Connie babe I don't think we have time to get to St James we'll have to go to Holby, I'm sorry" she just nodded as he helped her up and led her to his car and they sped off to the ED where Jacob had rung ahead and Charlie, Dylan and Rita were waiting for her

"Okay Jacob what have we got?" Charlie asked

"Connie Beauchamp age 43 found 10 minutes ago clutching her hands which seem to be bleeding, I've been unable to properly assess them as she won't let me but she says she'll need stitches. Caused by what seemed to be repetitive punching of a broken wine bottle." He then carried her through to resus where Charlie tried to make her show him "Connie please we need to assess you, you know the drill" reluctantly she held them out as Dylan checked her over "Okay can I have FBCs Us and Es and can we get some O neg down here as well please. Most of these look superficial with only fragments that we can get out down here but I'd like to order an x-ray"

"No! No x-ray"

"Connie there is a large piece that seems to have gone almost straight through on the left hand so that will need surgery, we need to see what damage its done" Connie nodded and then just stared blankly not really taking anything in. "Connie I said is there anything you're not telling us because your stats are all over the place?" Connie looked to Jacob worriedly biting her lip. She turned back to Dylan and sighed before speaking "I'm pregnant, I only found out today, approximately 2 months gone but I don't know for definite yet" Dylan just nodded

"Well that could explain some of it but I'll have an ultra sound done just to make sure everything's okay."

"Its my hands not my stomach Dylan, I know what you're doing but its really not necessary, okay I don't need a scan, I just need stitching up, this shard of glass removing and then to go home and sleep."

"Connie have you had any other symptoms, abdominal pains perhaps or stomach cramps?" Connie just nodded sheepishly "when? For how long? How painful? How frequently? Come on Connie we need to know"

"No I'm out of here"

"But your hands that needs to be taken out in surgery"

"I said no" she then gritted her teeth and pulled it out as they all yelled at her, thankfully it hadn't penetrated a vein or artery so there wasn't a sudden gush of blood "just sew me up so I can get out of here.."

"I can't we need to get you checked out and sorted"

"I said no, two things Dr Keogh: firstly patients wishes I will sign the form whatever I just want to go, secondly I'm your boss so just, just do as I say!" Dylan took a step back before asking Charlie to finish up and discharge her.

"Connie you know the drill, we advised you to stay, you need to sign this form saying you're leaving against medical advise etc."

"Yes Charlie, please just hurry up"

"Just making sure my boss doesnt sack me for not doing my paperwork...You know..."

"If I ever need to talk you're always on the end of a phone or in your office, I know"

"Yes but its true okay?"

"Yes, can we just get on with this please" Charlie continued stitching her hand.

"Connie why didn't you tell me?" Jacob asked

"Because I couldn't think how to start, how do you think Grace will feel? I wasn't going to keep it. I'd put it up for adoption or give it to you but I can't keep it."

"Why not? I'd help you"

"Because imagine me going to Grace 'hi Grace I know you said I can't see Jacob but I'm pregnant so now you're going to get pushed even more to the side"

"But she wouldn't, we'd be a family."

"I know that, you know that but she wouldn't. I need to go if you're done Charlie"

"Yes but you really should have an ultra sound somewhere even if its not here,"

"Fine but that's it , 10 minutes" Jacob nodded at her as if to say thank you as Charlie went to get Dylan and the ultra sound machine. When they came back they did a scan and she was then discharged "Connie, let me come back with you, you can't drive with your hands like that and we need to talk"

"No, I'll get a taxi"

"Connie babe..."

"I am not your babe, not anymore I can't be, why won't you understand that. If I'm ever going to get Grace back I can't do this, us."

"You're pushing me away because you're scared, that's what it is. Its nothing to do with Grace."

"No its not."

"What is it you're scared of? The commitment? Or is just that you truly don't love me. Look me in the eye and tell me you don't love me and I'll leave you alone"

"I can't Jacob. Its not..."

"Its not you its me right?"

"Well yes. This is me, all me and I'm sorry but I can't."

"Connie we are having a baby, there's no denying it now."

"You're having his baby mum?!" Connie spun on the spot when she heard the voice "Grace!" She screamed as she ran over to hug her but Grace pushed her away "I came back because I thought you'd changed but clearly I was wrong."

"No Grace its not like that, I'm two months that was from when we were going out it wasn't planned, it was an accident"

"So you're not dating him?"

"No, I'm not. You will always come first baby. And if that means me and Jacob can't be together then so be it. I've put you last before and look where that got us, miserable and half the world apart."

"Thank you mum" she said hugging her tight "But since you're having his baby, I suppose you two can be together as long as you" she said turning to Jacob "don't hurt her and I don't get pushed to the side."

"Really? You really mean it?"

"Yes Jacob's nice just before I felt like all your attention would be on him and not me."

"Thank you Gracie, that's very grown up of you."

"Right Jacob are you going to take us home or what? My bags are in the back of the taxi if you'd be so kind" Grace said jokingly before going to help

"Alright alright firecracker, let's get you two Beauchamps home eh?" They both nodded and then Grace looked at her mums hands as shed been about to hold one "Mum?"

"Yes sweetie"

"What happened to your hands?"

"Oh nothing, just me being careless. I broke a wine bottle"

"Hang on" Jacob said "why were you drinking wine when you're pregnant?!"

"I wasn't, I was about to and then remembered and dropped it in the sink it smashed I got glass in my hands" Jacob nodded and then helped her into the car as they all sped home.

When they got home Grace put a film on and they watched it with Grace curled up to Jacob on one side and Connie on the other who was smiling for the first time in months, finally happy that she had Jacob and her baby girl was home accepting their relationship.