One hundred twenty-two.
A lie. The number on the scale was a lie. But wasn't it always?
The scale says what it says, and then you add five pounds. That was the rule. That was what Emily Prentiss had taught herself.
The twenty-eight year old was told every day by her boyfriend she was beautiful and nothing needed to change; that nothing could ever live up to her.
What a lie he had been feeding her.
Emily Prentiss hadn't eaten in twenty-eight hours, thirteen minutes and forty-two secconds. The last thing to make it into her stomach was a piece of toast and peanut butter, and it was all because her boyfriend had stayed late at home before work so they could go in together.
He didn't know her addiction. No one did. Not even her best friend, who basically tried to watch her every move.
Penelope knew something was wrong. When Emily didn't get a chance to throw up, she got mad, and Pen knew when the brunette was mad.
It was not a fun time.
Emily sighed as she stepped off the scale, brushing her ebony hair away from her face. Her doe eyes looked to her reflecction, her lips curling into a frown. She looked disgusting. Her hair was frizzy, she was pale and her cheeks were fat. That was only from the neck up. Her boobs were small and her arms jiggled, her stomach was pugged and her hips were wide, her thighs fat with barely any gap in between.
She was a disgrace.
To be an Ambassador's daughter she had to look pristine; tip top condition. Because of that, her addiction started when she was just nine years old.
A nine year old running to the bathroom to throw up the waffles the cook had made her for breakfast? How pathetic could she get?
Emily groaned, walking into her room and stripping off her clothes, grabbing the three quarter sleeved dress she had planned to wear off the rack and slipping it over her head. Quickly stepping into her favorite black heels and running her fingers through her curled hair, the brunette agent stepped out of her bedroom and into the hall. She quickly put on a smile at the sight of her boyfriend's son, and she bent down to peck his forehead. "Morning buddy."
Jack looked up to his father's girlfriend, smiling wide. "You look pretty mommy."
The agent felt her heart pang at the sentiment. How could a screw up like her be someone's mother? "Thank you, baby. Where's your daddy?"
"Right here."
Emily looked up just in time to catch a kiss from the older man. "Hi there."
Hotch smiled, leading his son and girlfriend towards the kitchen. "You eat yet?"
"Yeah," she smiled, lying through her teeth. "Ate the remainder of our pancakes we had last night."
Hotch nodded, picking up his son's backpack from the floor. "Ok. Do you want to come with me to drop Jack off?"
Emily bit her lip, her stomach quietly rumbling as she looked to the older man. "Actually, I think I'm gonna go in a little early. Give you and Captain Jack some time to be alone, you know?" She looked up into the older man's eyes and smiled. "Guy time."
The older man paused, catching the same pained glint in his girlfriend's eyes that he had been seeing more and more lately. He gently nodded his head, pessing a warm kiss to the brunette's ivory forehead. "I love you. You know that, right?"
Emily felt her eyes water at the whispered words, and she mutely nodded her head before making her way out the door.
Two hours. The brunette couldn't even last two hours after arriving at work.
She needed food.
The chocolate eyed woman's gaze flickered from the empty coffee cup on her desk to the small brown bag beside it. A muffin. Her genius friend had bought her a muffin for breakfast, commenting on the fact that she seemed to have lost weight.
She needed food.
With one last look around to make sure no one was around, Emily grabbed the bag and ran towards the faculty bathrooms.
She needed food.
Hotch watched with confused eyes as his girlfriend practically sprinted from her desk with a bag in hand, her dark eyes checking the woman's bathroom before walking in.
His eyebrows furrowed. Was she pregnant?
The Unit Chief shook his head, quickly dismissing the idea. She hadn't gained any weight or shown any other signs.
In fact, she had lost weight.
Hotch stood from his desk chair and walked out of his office, making his way towards the womens restroom. His girlfriend needed help, and he was determined to get her through whatever she needed. He gently knocked on the restroom door, pressing his ear against the cool surface. "Emily? Sweetheart, are you in there?" His eyebrows furrowed at the sound of the ebony haired woman's voice behind the door. "Emily?"
"How could you be so stupid? Come on Emily, you know better than that!" There was a small sigh from behind the door. "Ok. Five minutes. That's all I need."
Hotch slowly pushed open the restroom door, his eyes immediately shooting to the only closed stall door. He eyed the now empty muffin bag, crumbs littering the sink and counter, before stepping into the room. "Sweetheart?"
The brunette woman froze, her fingers immediately extracting themselves from her mouth. "Oh God..."
"Emily are you alright?"
Tears entered the agent's eyes at the concern in her boyfriend's voice, and she quickly shook her head. "Aaron I'll be out soon ok?"
Hotch knelt down outside the stalls, seeing the ivory woman's toned legs kneeling before the toilet. "I didn't know you had an upset stomach, sweetheart. I would have gotten you some medicine."
Emily couldn't hold back as she burst into tears, her hands holding on tight to the toilet bowl. She was caught.
The older man pushed the door open, spinning his girlfriend around and pulling her into a warm embrace. "Hey hey, calm down sweetheart. Everything's ok." He pulled back slightly and picked up the brunette's hand in his. That's when he felt his heart sink.
The woman's fingers were covered in her own saliva.
Emily's eyes widened when her gaze followed his, and she quickly pulled herself out of Hotch's arms, taking a piece of toilet paper and wiping off her fingers.
"Emily..."
The brunette quickly shook her head, her earrings swinging from side to side. "No Aaron. Everything's fine."
Hotch did his best to keep his patience in tact. "Emily, this is not ok."
Emily's head vigorously shook. "No no no! Aaron, I am fine."
The older man set his hands on his girlfriend's shoulds. "Honey calm down."
Emily had her eyes wide and fixed on her boyfriend, her head shaking as much as it could without falling from between her shoulders. "No Aaron, everything's fine. I'm ok, I'm ok!" Her mouth hung open to let out a cry at the look in her boyfriend's eyes, breaking down in the older man's arms. "I'm not ok."
Hotch pressed Emily's head down onto his shoulder, holding her shaking body close to him. He cooed softly in her ear, rubbing his hands up and down her back as he tried to calm her. "How long?"
The brunette's body shook and she cried, whispering the answer into the older man's warm neck. "Nineteen years."
"Oh Emily..."
Emily's head shot up and she pushed at his chest, her red eyes boaring up into her Unit Chief's. "You don't understand. I had to be perfect; better than everybody else. If my weight went up then the tabloids would have a field day! An Ambassador's daughter that couldn't even do something as simple as go on a diet?"
Hotch cupped the younger woman's flushed cheeks. "Emily, this is not a diet. This is dangerous."
The chocolate eyed woman shortly shook her head, her gaze dropping down to the floor. "I've been doing it this long and I'm ok."
Hotch felt his heart break for the vulnerable brunette that knelt before him. "This doesn't only harm your body Emily, but your mind. If this continues, there won't be any way for me to save you." His own eyes watered when her gaze shot back up to his. "Don't you want to be my wife? Don't you want to stay around long enough to have that family we wanted?"
Emily's lips quivered at the thought of their own little brown eyed baby in her arms. "You know I do."
"Do I?" he asked. "Because this can take that all away from you; from us. I know you love Jack, and you can easily love another baby that may present itself to us, but this has to stop. I need you here; so many people need you here baby, but if this continues, I don't know what could happen," he whispered. "You're sick, Emily."
The younger woman let out a cry. "I know."
Hotch brought his girlfriend back into his arms, holding her tight against him as they cried. "Let me help you."
Emily quickly nodded her head, her arms wrapping tight around the older man's neck. She pressed a small kiss to his neck, their tears blending together in the material of the Unit Chief's shirt. "I love you."
Hotch let out a breath, smiling into his girl's dark hair when she hugged him back. "And I will always love you."
...
A/N- Eating disorders are serious, and deadly. If anyone has a problem that is similar, please find a hotline and call or tell an adult. Every life is special, and everyone is perfect in their own way. I will always love each and every one of you, and I know others will to.