Memories of Mortality: Watching Russel, Bee is reminded of another young human friend he had on Earth not so long ago and where he went … And why he cannot contact him.

Image: Art Card-RID 2015 Bumblebee by ShouYume

Disclaimer: If only, if only, the plot bunny sings.

Rating: Teen.

…

Memories drift over my mind,

Like a thousand grains of sand.

With each carries a different thought,

Returned to this land.

…

Russel was smart. He picked up things easily when interacting with Fixit. In fact, Denny was kind of a genius in his own right. In a crazy way, mind you, but a genius none the less. But they would never, could never, compare to his old friend Raf.

Bumblebee flinched at the thought when Russel laughed at one thing or another in the background. Raf rarely laughed that loud and boisterously. He was more reserved, but sometimes … he would laugh like that. And how it made Bee's spark ache knowing he only had fifty or so accounted for clips of those kinds of laughs. He only had fifty moments of unreserved ecstatic joy that went beyond a soft smile.

It was his own fault he supposed. He could have stayed on Earth longer like Ratchet. He could have bonded more with his human friend and enjoyed the pleasantries of a human soul. He could have done that. Instead, he had been afraid of the future and the frailty of flesh. It was like he had been looking for an excuse to stay in the safe confines of Cybertron, and so he had not fought the council's judgment to close the space bridge to Earth.

Then he knew Raf no more.

He just couldn't go back. Every time he visited Earth, after every trip, his spark grew heavier and heavier with guilt until it was all-consuming. He just couldn't face the truth.

Raf was forever changing and would not linger long.

It was like Unicron had merely given humans these vibrant souls and minds so that they could live just enough to wither and squirm at the end, fading away in less than a day. They weren't even given a vorn to truly know life. Unicron must have taken joy in watching them wither.

Truly, Unicron was a cruel god.

It was a simple truth that horrified Bee, human mortality, especially after Fowler passed. He hadn't even known until an earth year after. The man six feet in the ground.

It was weak of him. Bumblebee knew it, but the more he got to know Raf, the more he didn't want to watch him age and terminate. If was like watching a friend deactivate from rust or energon lost. He could not watch that. Not again. So the space bridge had been a perfect excuse.

He could have stayed and basically recorded Raf's life, start to finish. A glimmering moment in time and space.

Bumblebee didn't think his spark could take another death though. Not so soon after Optimus.

He had wanted to heal along with Cybertron. And he had. He even got his vocalizer back.

Now though, he had no excuses. He was on Earth. He currently stood upon the sleeping shell of a cruel god in the presence of his brutal, beautiful and oh so frail children. And humanity was their name.

He had to know now as he stood here, on this hallowed earth, the fate of Rafael Jorge Gonzales Esquivel. Or simply, Raf.

There was only one person to ask. There was only one being that would not judge him for running way like a cowardly Con. There was only one person that would understand his inner turmoil … and he wasn't a person at all.

Bumblebee still remembered the comm frequencies even after all this time. He had only entered them once himself, but it had been a grave day. It has been the day he had told the Rescue Bots that Optimus Prime was no more, and if they so wished it … they could return to Cybertron. Ultra Magnus had offered to do it, to deliver the grim news, but Bumblebee had felt it was his responsibility. He had not spent much time with the sheltered team, but he dared to call them friends.

Such news should come from a friend...

Luckily, Fixit hadn't asked why Bee needed the communication device or why he wanted some privacy. He hadn't even asked why Bumblebee had been acting downtrodden the entire day. He was glitchy and broken in many ways, but Bee respected the minicon's subtlety and his unasked respect.

The call went through without a hitch. And unlike Earth, unlike Raf and Miko and Jak and the culture of humans themselves … Heatwave hadn't changed one bit.

"B-bumblebee? Is that you?" said the mech, his tone happy and not the least bit angry about the yellow Autobot's long absence. Well, long by human standards.

"Sure is Heatwave. How you doing?" said Bee politely, wanting nothing more than to space bridge over that very klick and embrace his friend.

"Talk about an upgrade. You now have a mouth," said the fire-bot with a chuckle, his optics squinting slightly in humor. "But I take it you are calling for business. So, tell me, did you lose something?"

Bee swallowed, instantly thinking of that little plot in the ground where Fowler would forever remain until even his bones were no more. Had he lost Raf when he was away?

Did he even want to know?

Heatwave immediately pointed behind himself, calming Bumblebee's worry. There were two prisoner capsules in the background. Its quarry still inside.

Bee shuttered his optics, almost glad to see the two stasis prisoners, before he smiled. "Yeah, we lost quite a few Cons honestly. Thanks for keeping them on ice. One less goose chase for me and my team I guess."

Laughing, nodding in agreement, the two mechs stared at each other in an moment of silence. Slowly, Bee looked away, opening his mouth before promptly closing it again. He did it two more times before he looked at the other bot, almost begging for him to speak in his stead. He couldn't voice his secret want. He was too ashamed.

Heatwave's smile faded into something mournful. Yet, without even a word, he seemed to understand. "You don't have to say anything at all Bumblebee. I understand. I know why you called today and it wasn't about Cons."

Another moment that felt like an eternity passed before the firefighter and scout before Heatwave added, "I understand more than you know actually. You see, watching the chief, I mean Charles, slowly age and … and pass on as the humans say, was hard. Chase … took it rather badly for a while there."

There was another moment of silence, thick and heavy like syrup crawling down the bark of a maple tree. When it finally seemed unbearable, Heatwave spoke again.

"I understand why you did not return to face him, Bumblebee. Why you didn't want to face a human's mortality. It almost broke Chase to lose his partner and as I watch Kade's form lose its vibrancy, his hair slowly turning grey, I understand why you did not return from Cybertron," Heatwave's facial plates pinched in a moment of agony as he whispered, "Unicron is cruel."

Bee bowed his helm, his EM fields in agony as he nodded in agreement, his vocals shaking as he asked, "I-I'm glad you understand, Heatwave. So forgive me for asking, for not coming myself and facing him, but how is Raf.? Is he doing well in Griffin Rock? Did he marry that fem-girl he liked? Does he have any kids? Is he … is he happy? I just need to know he is happy."

Heatwave sighed and looked away for a moment before meeting those cyan optics. His words stabbed deeply. "I will tell you today Bumblebee that Raf is alive. That he seems to have fit in nicely in Griffin Rock, but if he is happy … That is something you are going to have to gather your courage for and come and ask yourself. After all, you have two Cons waiting for your here. You cannot stay away forever. You must face this … and accept it."

Bee, door wings dipping in sorrow, smiled bitterly. Hope, fear, regret and elation were all mixing together in his spark like a terrifying cocktail. It was like some day soon, for only a day, he would get to see someone that had died long ago and would be allowed to speak with them for only a few blistering hours.

And how he would treasure it. He would treasure it like fifty clips of laughter.

"I know Heatwave. I know."

Goodbye was not a word he wished to know anymore.

XXX

Paw07: Sorry for the dark subplot, but honestly I feel it would haunt me if I could live millions of years yet here was this vibrant soul not even promised a hundred years. I would kill a part of me so I really wanted to touch on the mortality of humans compared to a Cybertronian that lives billions of years.

As for the crossover, every since I watched RID15 and now RB (what, they are both on Netflix), my mind has been making head cannon to properly cement the series together. Like what happen to Raf? Any of the humans from TP? Given that Bee and his team are stranded on Earth, why wouldn't he visit old friends? Honestly, I don't know if they are dead or not. Since RID15 is so vague with its time range, I can only estimate that its been no later than 50 years, but it has at least been over 20 years since TP. I really wish that RID would make its time line a little more obvious, because I am now wondering if TFA can realistically fit after RID15 now? Earth is obviously way in the future in TFA. It could be possible. Either way, this is now my personal head cannon on what happened to Raf.

Also, angst. XD