Disclaimer: I do not own the Marvel Cinematic Universe, nor the awesomeness that is Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. I do give excellent nicknames, though.
Darcy stuck her head into the lab and spotted Fitz and Jemma flirting, but no Jane. That was good. I should bring Thor next time, too, she thought as she headed for the elevator, clutching the super-spy encrypted files Coulson had just entrusted to her. If she was lucky, Jane and Thor were already waiting in the hangar for her.
The doors opened when she hit the button, and when she stepped inside she was followed by an agent she'd never been introduced to, who was of the tall, dark, and 'really, really ridiculously good looking' variety.
She poked the button that would take her upstairs, then lifted her eyebrows to ask where he was headed.
He glanced at her hand, hovering over the panel, and nodded at the choice she'd made.
The doors were closing when he cleared his throat, but whatever he was going to say was interrupted by someone shouting, "Hold the elevator!" He bravely sacrificed his forearm for their convenience, and the doors swung open again.
Melinda Freaking May leaned against them to prevent them from closing, and focused immediately on Darcy. "I missed you the last time you were here," she said.
Darcy began freaking out internally, hoping it didn't show much on her face. All she had heard about May was that she was the baddest of badasses, and that from Natasha. So.
"Give this to Barton for me, would you?" She held out an envelope, which Darcy took.
"What is it?" she asked.
"Settling an old debt," May told her, allowing a smirk to invade her face. "He'll know."
"Okay..." Darcy agreed, trying not to look weirded out.
"Oh, Mack, this is where you've been hiding," May said to the man standing next to Darcy. "Daisy was looking for you."
He nodded, looking a little uncomfortable. "Right, thanks," he said, and turned sideways so he could exit the elevator, tossing a glance back at Darcy before he disappeared down the hallway.
May smiled at Darcy again. "Thanks for your help."
"Yeah, sure, no problem."
May leaned away from the elevator and Darcy was free to go.
"Visiting S.H.I.E.L.D. has always been weird," Darcy told Clint and Thor as they walked away from Tony's lab after dropping off both Jane and the super-secret encrypted files. "But today was the weirdest yet. FitzSimmons was all, 'Need to Know in the lab today,' even though I've been in on it with Jane from the start, and Coulson was all, 'avoiding using the actual names for things' as though I didn't already know exactly what he was talking about."
"We may not understand their methods, but those who work from the shadows for the good of the world are necessary to protecting this planet," Thor pointed out, not for the first time.
Darcy waved him off. "Yeah, I know, but leaving was the weirdest. Agent May gave me this—" She passed Clint the envelope, "—and the hottest guy I've ever seen nearly shared the elevator with me."
"You downgraded Steve?" Clint asked.
"How many times do I have to tell you this, Clint? People in relationships are automatically less attractive than All the Single Ladies. I don't help people cheat; Steve is T-A-K-E-N."
"How do you know the guy on the elevator wasn't taken?"
"No ring," Darcy replied.
"But—"
"Let me live in my fantasy world!" Darcy insisted.
"I could find out for you," Clint volunteered.
"Thanks, but we're not in junior high, so I'll just ask myself the next time I'm there."
"You'll just say, 'hey are you seeing anybody? I need to know so I can determine whether or not you're hotter than Captain America?'"
Darcy shrugged. "Something like that."
Darcy did a double take three weeks later when she saw Agent Hotter Than Steve talking to Helen and Tony when she was walking past the lab. Suddenly she remembered that she'd lost her iPod in there, and even though she was looking forward to getting some sleep after getting Jane to bed for the first time in three whole days, she figured that right this second was the perfect time to look for it.
"It's about time," Tony was saying as she spotted it lying under the table they were standing next to.
"Coulson didn't want you to have to come to us again so soon," Agent Easy on the Eyes told Tony.
"Lewis wouldn't have minded making the trip again," Tony replied as he spotted her slinking closer to them.
"We're thankful you could make the time to bring this to us, Agent Mackenzie," Helen said. Darcy ducked under the table to grab her music, and emerged victorious. "This is Darcy Lewis," Helen introduced.
"We sort of already met," Darcy informed the scientist as she shook hands with S.H.I.E.L.D.'s Finest.
"Then you won't mind walking him out," Tony said with a smirk.
Darcy rolled her eyes and jerked her head at Agent Mackttractive. After a goodbye nod to Helen and Tony, he followed her out into the hallway.
As she pushed the button for the elevator, Darcy figured she might as well get it over with.
"So do you have a special someone or anything?" she asked when the doors opened. "I need to know for reasons."
Agent Mackjestic looked like he wanted to reply but wasn't quite sure what to say.
"Okay, so the reasons are sort of 'so I'll know whether or not to rank you higher on my Hottest Hunks list than Steven Grant Rogers,' but I'll let you decide whether you think those reasons are good reasons."
He laughed as they stepped onto the elevator. "And here I couldn't even get up the courage to ask you what your name was," he said, leaning his head against the back wall.
"Holy whoa, are we Soulmates?" Darcy gasped, delighted.
"If we are, where does that put me on your list?" he asked with a grin.
"Like, so far above everybody else that I don't need to even bother keeping a list anymore!" she replied. "Hey! Wanna make out in the elevator?"
He laughed again. "How about we start with getting to know each other a little first?" he suggested. "I don't have to head back just yet. You could show me around this place."
"You drive a hard bargain, Hot Soulmate," Darcy told him. "I see your Tour Guide Small Talk offer and raise you one Guided Tour Complete With Hand-Holding And Me Introducing You To Everyone As 'Agent Macksquisite.'"
He tilted his head, considering the nickname.
"Agent Macklicious," Darcy pitched.
His eye twitched.
"Agent Macknificent."
"Slow down there, Vocabulistics." He smiled at her as he took her hand in his. "How about just 'Mack' to start?"
She grinned back and laced her fingers with his. "Done."
Author's Note (August 11, 2016): Thanks for reading! I'm also on ao3 as CatrinaSL, or you can check out my fic blog: iwillwriteyourfic . blogspot 2016 / 05 / fydl-darcyland-poc-week . html