WAITING FOR HOMURA

I

"the greatest guilt of man
is that he was born."

A barren desert. A black, barren structure, like a wilted tree, but something else entirely.

Sundown. Light breeze.

Kyouko, standing by a corner, takes a red apple out from within her magical girl gown. She tosses it up in the air several times. Then, she bites into it –

"Nn?! The hell?"

– but fails. Gnashing at it with teeth, she still cannot break past the peel.

Annoyed, she materializes her spear. And –

Slice!

The spear misses, digging into the lukewarm sand, and whips up a cloud of dust.

She coughs and squints her eyes until the powder is cleared.

Fed up, she gives up and rests for a moment, staring at the apple. And she tries again.

"Hyaa!" Slice! Thud. "Ack, fu – blergh!"

But it ends the same way.

In the distance, from within the dusk, Mami walks towards her.

Her presence does not go unnoticed.

"Agh, damn," she swears and sighs, "nothing to do."

She raises her spear back up and swings it down once more – thud. – and a cloud of dust picks up. Kyouko gives up again.

"Maybe it is true," Mami says, seating herself on a sandy mound at an angle towards Kyouko, "but nevertheless… or maybe…"

They do not face each other. They do not meet eye to eye.

As Kyouko readies herself for another strike, Mami contemplates.

"And here you are again," Mami chimes in.
"Am I?" thud.
"I thought you were gone forever."
"Heh. Fuck you."

Mami shoots Kyouko a sharp glance. Kyouko is smirking.

Then she swings down. Thud.

"What are you doing?"
Irritably, Kyouko replies: "Not yet. Not yet."
"Hmm."

The wind rises. Yellow clouds keep the sun down.

"How did you spend the night?"
"Sleeping, of course. What kinda question is that?"
"Where?"
"...Sayaka's."

A hush glooms over.

Breaking the silence, Kyouko chuckles.

"Heheh, just kidding. It was in a mosque."
"A mosque! But where?"
"Over there," she says, but she doesn't gesture anywhere.
"And they didn't chase you out? Or did they invite you in?"
"Nope. Couldn't even find me."
"The same people?"
"The same?"
"As yesterday."
"Beats me."

Swing! Thud. "Ack!" And cough. Like a clockwork nutcracker.

"…I wonder… how would it have been if we'd never met…"
"What's there to wonder about? I live; you live; everybody lives."
"But if I died?"
"I die; you die; everybody dies. Simple. It is what it is."
"But it isn't what it should be."
"So what?"

Thud.

"Still… but then again… thank God I'm alive."
"Lies," Kyouko whispers. Mami doesn't hear.
"And if in the end… so…"
"Ah, mou, shut up for a while and come help me with this bloody thing."

Mami raises her head and looks at Kyouko.

"Really, what are you doing?"
"Trying to cut an apple, obviously."
"The apples you bring are always so tough. That's why you should always cut them, so that you don't hurt your teeth and gums. I've told you this so many times already, but you still don't listen to me."
"You bitch! If ya ain't gonna help, don't bother me."
"I'll help," she sighs, "I'll help."

Mami stands and walks to Kyouko's side.

"You're hungry?"

Her tone is smiling, but it doesn't show on her face.

"Hungry? Haha! Ya don't say! Y' think I'm practicing real-life Fruit Ninja instead?"
"Why are you so bitter today?"
"And why'd ya forget to wear your bra today?"
"Hmm? A-ah!"

She quickly covers her breasts with her arms.

Thud.

"Ack! I – hrmm! Hmph! Christ... – they're poking through the fabric."

And she magically conjures up a bra beneath her clothes, and huffs, face reddened.

"What an embarrassment. Never neglect the little things in life."
"Y' asked for it. Always appreciating, waiting till the last minute."
"I don't."
"You do."
"…"

Mami remains quiet. She goes back to sit on her mound.

Thud.

"The last minute… 'Hope deferred makes the something sick, but something fulfilled is a tree of something.' Who said that?"
"The hell if I know."
"'To the far west of this world, beyond many something, there is a Pure Land…'"
"This is the west already."
"…"

Slice! Thud.

Kyouko misses again. Now the apple is completely dusted in sand.

"Screw this."

Frustrated and exhausted, she throws her spear on the ground and lets herself fall to her knees, with her back towards Mami.

All is quiet.

But in a small, feeble, agitated voice, Kyouko asks: "Why don't you help me?"

Mami does not notice. She mutters to herself.

"…sometimes when I'm alone, I feel it…"

She fiddles with her ribbons, tugging lightly, as if thinking to yank them loose from their Gordian knot.

"At peace… but appalled… appalled… Hm," then she sighs and looks up into the madder sky, "There's absolutely nothing to do now."

Suddenly, Kyouko gets to her feet and readies her spear.

Slice!

Kerchunk!

"Well?"
"Well what?"
"You've cut it?"
"Smashed it."
"Show me."
"There's nothing to show. Nothing's left."

She sighs.

"Should've brought better apples."
"There we go again. Blaming the apple for the fault of your arms."
"…"

Kyouko takes a deep breath in, and kicks fiercely at the sand where the apple once was – whipping up a dust cloud much larger than before.

"Gah! Fu – hckhck…"

She coughs even more severely, and tears well in her eyes.

"Are you still hungry?"
"Y' think?" she remarks, still coughing intermittently.
"I brought some cake along. How about we share it?"
"Don't need it. Save your sympathy for yourself, like you always do."
"Sakura-san…"

Neither speak for some time. Mami looks down at the sand behind Kyouko's back.

"Mami," Kyouko calls, turning her head to the side.
"…" she remains silent.
"Let's have some cake."
"… oh, well."
"Yay! Cake~"

With that, she turns around and walks briskly to her side, with a smile growing on her face. Forgetting herself entirely, she becomes as the little child she always was once again, once more. Mami warmly smiles for the first time today. Everything is easy again.