Super-evil-villain-meeting
A very stupid story By Miriam G.
Disclaimer: I don´t own any of the characters except for Lord Patrenabo - and me, hopefully. Voldemort is property of J.K. Rowling. Vegeta is property of the guy -what was his name? Something Japanese, you know the DBZ-guy, oh well. Darth Vader is probably property of George Lucas and The Emperor as well. Bowser is property of Nintendo, Ernst Stavro Blofeld is property of Ian Fleming. Hmm, whose property is Mojo Jojo? Well, the same one´s who owns the Powerpuff Girls. Visser Three is property of K.A. Appelgate, Sauron is property of J.R.R. Tolkien and Quaki is property of my older brother.
Okay, here´s a short description of all the characters in case you don´t know them. If you know them, you don´t have to read this.
LORD PATRENABO: He´s a character of a story I wrote that I won´t publish on fanfiction. He´s trying to take over the world by turning all the people into zombies who do everything he tells them. okay, it´s kinda complicated to explain the story quickly and if I tell the whole story, there would be no point in reading the book after ten years or so. Oh well, just imagine a guy in his mid-thirties with dark blond hair and clear blue eyes (kinda cute actually, I know, I´m a nut).
VOLDEMORT: He´s the evil wizard from Harry Potter. He´s pretty tall and thin, bald, with red eyes and really long fingers.
VEGETA: Vegeta is a Saya-jin (is that spelled correctly?), that´s some kind of alien that looks exactly like a human except that he´s got a monkey tail. He´s a lot stronger than a human and in the full moon he turns into a huge gorilla. His hair is pitch black and spiky. In this story he´s still wearing the cool blue Friesa uniform with the long white gloves (that looks so cool).
DARTH VADER: Well, everyone knows Darth Vader but in case you´ve just spent 30 years in the jungle far from any civilisation; Darth Vader is the bad guy from Star Wars. He´s always dressed in black with this weird black mask, which makes his breathing really loud. His weapon is a laser sword, called a light saber.
BOWSER: Bowser is Super Mario´s worst enemy. He looks like a strange dragon with a spiked turtle shell. He can breathe fire (at least he can in Super Mario 64), but he´s not a dragon or a dinosaur.
ERNST STAVRO BLOFELD: He´s a villain from James Bond, you know, the one with the huge scar on his face and the kitty on his lap. Actually it´s enough to call him just Blofeld but my brother always calls him Ernst Stavro Blofeld (what a weird name).
MOJO JOJO: Mojo Jojo is an evil monkey. No, really. He´s wearing a uniform that looks a bit like Vegeta´s, but his brain is so big that it swells out of his head and he has to cover it with a big hat. I know, he´s kind of stupid, but I think he´s cool.
THE EMPEROR: Of course, he´s from Star Wars too and he´s cool although he´s really old and ugly. He´s always wearing this weird black hood over his head and speaks in a raspy voice. Maybe it´s kind of unfair to have two villains from Star Wars, but I think they´re both cool. The Emperor is probably the reason why I starting being interested in villains and Darth Vader is classic.
VISSER THREE: Okay, that´s kind of hard to explain. Visser Three is an alien called a Yeerk. Yeerks look like slimy little slugs and they crawl through people´s (or other aliens´) ears into their brains and control them. Visser Three is the only Yeerk who has managed to get an Andalite host. Andalites are the Yeerks´ worst enemies. They look like blue centaurs with a scorpion tail, stalk eyes and no mouth (they communicate through thought speak). They have the ability to morph; to change into every creature whose DNA they have acquired. SAURON: Of course, Lord of the Rings! Good movie. It´s been kind of long since I saw the movie, but I think Sauron used to be pretty, but then he died and now he looks like a big ugly eye. He´s the one who created The One Ring, you know The One to Rule Them All.
QUAKI: Quaki is a duck. He´s mad and evil and he´s got a Donald Duck voice. He´s got his own country, Quakiland, which is underground. That´s where he builds all his huge evil robots to take over the world. Only two people live in Quakiland; Quaki and, um, me (it´s a long story, the only reason he made me inhabitant of Quakiland was that he needed a player for his soccer team).
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: That would be me! I know, girls are not supposed to be Lords, but it sounds so much cooler than Lady or Queen. Okay, that´s me: a really short teenage girl with brown curls, blue eyes and glasses. I don´t really look like an evil Dark Lord but whatever.
Wow, that was pretty long! Okay, here goes the story:
Warning! Read only if you are a totally strange and whacky person and promise not to flame me for being one (a strange and whacky person) and if you like villains and/or are one yourselve.
All the coolest villains of the world have met in a conference room where they are sitting at a table. They have no idea why they´re here.
MOJO JOJO: I wonder who sent that letter and asked me to come here.
THE EMPEROR: Who´s that monkey sitting next to me?
MOJO JOJO: Who you callin´ a monkey?
VEGETA: I hope this meeting won´t take too long. I still have an Earth to destroy.
LORD PATRENABO: What´s the point of destroying the Earth?
VEGETA: It´s fun. Wuahahahahaha!
SAURON: Great, I´m surrounded with geeks. I´m the only normal person here.
VOLDEMORT: You call a huge eye normal? I feel pity for you. You probably don´t have any friends apart from that stupid ring.
SAURON: Don´t talk like that about my Ring. Don´t you think she can hear you?
DARTH VADER: She?
SAURON: Yes. She´s mine. My prrreciouuus! My prrreciouuussss.
QUAKI: You definitely need a girlfriend.
MOJO JOJO: Okay, I still wonder who sent for us.
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: That was me!!!
Everyone turns around to see a short girl with glasses, dressed like a total geek in jeans and an orange T-shirt that reads: "Talfrelsi á Íslandi". VOLDEMORT: Who is that muggle?
QUAKI: I know her. She used to be the Vice-totally-highest-high-emperor of Quakiland.
VISSER THREE: The what?
QUAKI: Never mind. She destroyed half of my evil robots.
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: Did not! It was my brother´s fault! He had this other evil robot and. uh, whatever. I have asked all of you to come here for a special reason.
For sake of coolness she quickly puts on a black robe with a hood and now she looks like The Emperor. She sits down in the only empty seat.
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: You are all the coolest villains of all the movies, TV-shows, books, comics and so on. So I was thinking that if we all worked together we would be much more successful than if we work by ourselves. Than at last we could have. (dramatic pause) world domination.
VEGETA: No way, I want to destroy the Earth, remember? And it´s not fun to destroy something I own. Just like when I cut all my sister´s Barbie dolls´ heads off when I was little, but then my Mummy gave me a whole bunch of Barbie dolls for my birthday and.
VOLDEMORT: You owned Barbie dolls when you were little? Heeheehee, that´s funny.
VEGETA: (blushes) Oh, yeah? I heard you still sleep with a teddy bear.
VOLDEMORT: (blushes too) Noooo, that´s something some nasty kids from fanfiction made up.
Vegeta snickers.
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: Hellooo!! Could we please stay with the topic?
MOJO JOJO: Me working with all of you? No way! I´m the great Mojo Jojo! I don´t need a partner! I´ve never had a partner. I work all by myself. I always work all alone. That´s how I do it; by myself. I don´t need anyone else for my evil schemes. I can do everything alone. I don´t need help and I´ve never needed help because I am Mojo Jojo, the great!
ERNST STAVRO BLOFELD: I don´t need any help either. All I need is my kitty. Isn´t that right, kitty?
ERNST STAVRO BLOFELD´S KITTY: This is so humiliating!
QUAKI: I like the idea. First we all work together to achieve world domination, then we´ll have a big fight and the winner keeps world domination, the rest goes home and.uh. does something else.
VEGETA: And if I don´t win, do I get to destroy the Earth?
QUAKI: No.
VEGETA: That sucks.
BOWSER: I think this is a great idea. And if anyone of you doesn´t like it, I´ll grill ´em.
Voldemort turns Bowser into an innocent fluffy white bunny. VOLDEMORT: I don´t work with muggles or giant mutated turtles.
VISSER THREE: What about aliens?
THE EMPEROR: Aren´t we all aliens?
LORD PATRENABO: Uh, no.
THE EMPEROR: Yes, you would also be an alien if you were on a different planet.
SAURON: What planet are you from?
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: Oof, this bunch is giving me a headache! Ok, have you decided if you want to join me or not?
QUAKI: I´m in!
THE EMPEROR: So am I!
DARTH VADER: Me too.
SAURON: Me and my Ring too.
VISSER THREE: Ok, I´ll only join you if you have a good plan.
LORD PATRENABO: Me too. ´Cos practically I already have world domination. I am the king of the world! Hahahahaha! And noone can stop me!!
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: Actually that´s kind of wrong. All I need to do is to erase your name out of the story and you´re dead. You´re not powerful.
LORD PATRENABO: Yes, I am!!! I am the most powerful person in the world!!! Noone else!!! Only me, me, me, me, me.
Lord Patrenabo is now totally freaking out and banging his fist into the table, while The Mighty and Evil Dark Lord Miriam G. With a Big G. of the Something-Empire just watches him calmly.
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: Have you been drinking too much coffee again?
LORD PATRENABO: No! Shut up!
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: Don´t you know coffee is very bad for you? Why do you think the heroes in my stories never drink coffee?
DARTH VADER: Hello?! Weren´t we talking about our plan to take over the world?
VEGETA: And destroy it afterwards!
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: Oh, yes! And I already have a brilliant and evil plan! Heeheehee! It is so brilliant that you have to be a real genius to think of it but yet it´s so easy that it can´t fail.
BOWSER: (who is still an innocent, fluffy white bunny) Oookaaayyy, and what is it?
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: Don´t worry, I´ll tell you. But not until the next chapter. Just so the readers will have a nice cliffhanger. Muahahahahaha! I´m so evil!
Okay, that might have been kind of strange, but I hope it was funny. Please review. All good ideas are welcome.
A very stupid story By Miriam G.
Disclaimer: I don´t own any of the characters except for Lord Patrenabo - and me, hopefully. Voldemort is property of J.K. Rowling. Vegeta is property of the guy -what was his name? Something Japanese, you know the DBZ-guy, oh well. Darth Vader is probably property of George Lucas and The Emperor as well. Bowser is property of Nintendo, Ernst Stavro Blofeld is property of Ian Fleming. Hmm, whose property is Mojo Jojo? Well, the same one´s who owns the Powerpuff Girls. Visser Three is property of K.A. Appelgate, Sauron is property of J.R.R. Tolkien and Quaki is property of my older brother.
Okay, here´s a short description of all the characters in case you don´t know them. If you know them, you don´t have to read this.
LORD PATRENABO: He´s a character of a story I wrote that I won´t publish on fanfiction. He´s trying to take over the world by turning all the people into zombies who do everything he tells them. okay, it´s kinda complicated to explain the story quickly and if I tell the whole story, there would be no point in reading the book after ten years or so. Oh well, just imagine a guy in his mid-thirties with dark blond hair and clear blue eyes (kinda cute actually, I know, I´m a nut).
VOLDEMORT: He´s the evil wizard from Harry Potter. He´s pretty tall and thin, bald, with red eyes and really long fingers.
VEGETA: Vegeta is a Saya-jin (is that spelled correctly?), that´s some kind of alien that looks exactly like a human except that he´s got a monkey tail. He´s a lot stronger than a human and in the full moon he turns into a huge gorilla. His hair is pitch black and spiky. In this story he´s still wearing the cool blue Friesa uniform with the long white gloves (that looks so cool).
DARTH VADER: Well, everyone knows Darth Vader but in case you´ve just spent 30 years in the jungle far from any civilisation; Darth Vader is the bad guy from Star Wars. He´s always dressed in black with this weird black mask, which makes his breathing really loud. His weapon is a laser sword, called a light saber.
BOWSER: Bowser is Super Mario´s worst enemy. He looks like a strange dragon with a spiked turtle shell. He can breathe fire (at least he can in Super Mario 64), but he´s not a dragon or a dinosaur.
ERNST STAVRO BLOFELD: He´s a villain from James Bond, you know, the one with the huge scar on his face and the kitty on his lap. Actually it´s enough to call him just Blofeld but my brother always calls him Ernst Stavro Blofeld (what a weird name).
MOJO JOJO: Mojo Jojo is an evil monkey. No, really. He´s wearing a uniform that looks a bit like Vegeta´s, but his brain is so big that it swells out of his head and he has to cover it with a big hat. I know, he´s kind of stupid, but I think he´s cool.
THE EMPEROR: Of course, he´s from Star Wars too and he´s cool although he´s really old and ugly. He´s always wearing this weird black hood over his head and speaks in a raspy voice. Maybe it´s kind of unfair to have two villains from Star Wars, but I think they´re both cool. The Emperor is probably the reason why I starting being interested in villains and Darth Vader is classic.
VISSER THREE: Okay, that´s kind of hard to explain. Visser Three is an alien called a Yeerk. Yeerks look like slimy little slugs and they crawl through people´s (or other aliens´) ears into their brains and control them. Visser Three is the only Yeerk who has managed to get an Andalite host. Andalites are the Yeerks´ worst enemies. They look like blue centaurs with a scorpion tail, stalk eyes and no mouth (they communicate through thought speak). They have the ability to morph; to change into every creature whose DNA they have acquired. SAURON: Of course, Lord of the Rings! Good movie. It´s been kind of long since I saw the movie, but I think Sauron used to be pretty, but then he died and now he looks like a big ugly eye. He´s the one who created The One Ring, you know The One to Rule Them All.
QUAKI: Quaki is a duck. He´s mad and evil and he´s got a Donald Duck voice. He´s got his own country, Quakiland, which is underground. That´s where he builds all his huge evil robots to take over the world. Only two people live in Quakiland; Quaki and, um, me (it´s a long story, the only reason he made me inhabitant of Quakiland was that he needed a player for his soccer team).
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: That would be me! I know, girls are not supposed to be Lords, but it sounds so much cooler than Lady or Queen. Okay, that´s me: a really short teenage girl with brown curls, blue eyes and glasses. I don´t really look like an evil Dark Lord but whatever.
Wow, that was pretty long! Okay, here goes the story:
Warning! Read only if you are a totally strange and whacky person and promise not to flame me for being one (a strange and whacky person) and if you like villains and/or are one yourselve.
All the coolest villains of the world have met in a conference room where they are sitting at a table. They have no idea why they´re here.
MOJO JOJO: I wonder who sent that letter and asked me to come here.
THE EMPEROR: Who´s that monkey sitting next to me?
MOJO JOJO: Who you callin´ a monkey?
VEGETA: I hope this meeting won´t take too long. I still have an Earth to destroy.
LORD PATRENABO: What´s the point of destroying the Earth?
VEGETA: It´s fun. Wuahahahahaha!
SAURON: Great, I´m surrounded with geeks. I´m the only normal person here.
VOLDEMORT: You call a huge eye normal? I feel pity for you. You probably don´t have any friends apart from that stupid ring.
SAURON: Don´t talk like that about my Ring. Don´t you think she can hear you?
DARTH VADER: She?
SAURON: Yes. She´s mine. My prrreciouuus! My prrreciouuussss.
QUAKI: You definitely need a girlfriend.
MOJO JOJO: Okay, I still wonder who sent for us.
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: That was me!!!
Everyone turns around to see a short girl with glasses, dressed like a total geek in jeans and an orange T-shirt that reads: "Talfrelsi á Íslandi". VOLDEMORT: Who is that muggle?
QUAKI: I know her. She used to be the Vice-totally-highest-high-emperor of Quakiland.
VISSER THREE: The what?
QUAKI: Never mind. She destroyed half of my evil robots.
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: Did not! It was my brother´s fault! He had this other evil robot and. uh, whatever. I have asked all of you to come here for a special reason.
For sake of coolness she quickly puts on a black robe with a hood and now she looks like The Emperor. She sits down in the only empty seat.
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: You are all the coolest villains of all the movies, TV-shows, books, comics and so on. So I was thinking that if we all worked together we would be much more successful than if we work by ourselves. Than at last we could have. (dramatic pause) world domination.
VEGETA: No way, I want to destroy the Earth, remember? And it´s not fun to destroy something I own. Just like when I cut all my sister´s Barbie dolls´ heads off when I was little, but then my Mummy gave me a whole bunch of Barbie dolls for my birthday and.
VOLDEMORT: You owned Barbie dolls when you were little? Heeheehee, that´s funny.
VEGETA: (blushes) Oh, yeah? I heard you still sleep with a teddy bear.
VOLDEMORT: (blushes too) Noooo, that´s something some nasty kids from fanfiction made up.
Vegeta snickers.
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: Hellooo!! Could we please stay with the topic?
MOJO JOJO: Me working with all of you? No way! I´m the great Mojo Jojo! I don´t need a partner! I´ve never had a partner. I work all by myself. I always work all alone. That´s how I do it; by myself. I don´t need anyone else for my evil schemes. I can do everything alone. I don´t need help and I´ve never needed help because I am Mojo Jojo, the great!
ERNST STAVRO BLOFELD: I don´t need any help either. All I need is my kitty. Isn´t that right, kitty?
ERNST STAVRO BLOFELD´S KITTY: This is so humiliating!
QUAKI: I like the idea. First we all work together to achieve world domination, then we´ll have a big fight and the winner keeps world domination, the rest goes home and.uh. does something else.
VEGETA: And if I don´t win, do I get to destroy the Earth?
QUAKI: No.
VEGETA: That sucks.
BOWSER: I think this is a great idea. And if anyone of you doesn´t like it, I´ll grill ´em.
Voldemort turns Bowser into an innocent fluffy white bunny. VOLDEMORT: I don´t work with muggles or giant mutated turtles.
VISSER THREE: What about aliens?
THE EMPEROR: Aren´t we all aliens?
LORD PATRENABO: Uh, no.
THE EMPEROR: Yes, you would also be an alien if you were on a different planet.
SAURON: What planet are you from?
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: Oof, this bunch is giving me a headache! Ok, have you decided if you want to join me or not?
QUAKI: I´m in!
THE EMPEROR: So am I!
DARTH VADER: Me too.
SAURON: Me and my Ring too.
VISSER THREE: Ok, I´ll only join you if you have a good plan.
LORD PATRENABO: Me too. ´Cos practically I already have world domination. I am the king of the world! Hahahahaha! And noone can stop me!!
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: Actually that´s kind of wrong. All I need to do is to erase your name out of the story and you´re dead. You´re not powerful.
LORD PATRENABO: Yes, I am!!! I am the most powerful person in the world!!! Noone else!!! Only me, me, me, me, me.
Lord Patrenabo is now totally freaking out and banging his fist into the table, while The Mighty and Evil Dark Lord Miriam G. With a Big G. of the Something-Empire just watches him calmly.
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: Have you been drinking too much coffee again?
LORD PATRENABO: No! Shut up!
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: Don´t you know coffee is very bad for you? Why do you think the heroes in my stories never drink coffee?
DARTH VADER: Hello?! Weren´t we talking about our plan to take over the world?
VEGETA: And destroy it afterwards!
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: Oh, yes! And I already have a brilliant and evil plan! Heeheehee! It is so brilliant that you have to be a real genius to think of it but yet it´s so easy that it can´t fail.
BOWSER: (who is still an innocent, fluffy white bunny) Oookaaayyy, and what is it?
THE MIGHTY AND EVIL DARK LORD MIRIAM G. WITH A BIG G. OF THE SOMETHING- EMPIRE: Don´t worry, I´ll tell you. But not until the next chapter. Just so the readers will have a nice cliffhanger. Muahahahahaha! I´m so evil!
Okay, that might have been kind of strange, but I hope it was funny. Please review. All good ideas are welcome.