Disclaimer: We only own the OCs in this story; most of which are based on our friends, who we don't own. The idea behind Kitsune Corp belongs to phoenixyfriend, who was awesome enough to let us use a similar idea. You should seriously look at her stories with her Phoenix Corporation; they are funny as! Anyway, on to our first Naruto fic!
It was a cloudy day in Konoha when this story began.Uzumaki Naruto was walking home after a training session with Team 7; ranting to himself about not managing to even hit Sasuke when they were sparring.
"Stupid teme, thinks he's so perfect...I'll show him tomorrow, dattebayo!" Naruto was so absorbed in imagining his victory against Sasuke; he didn't even notice that he walked straight into a purple-swirly vortex (AKA a fourth wall breach) until he walked into a steel wall.
"Itai, itai, itai!" He howled before glaring at the wall. "Who the hell put that there!?" Naruto looked around and realised something. "I've never seen a place like this in Konoha before..." Yes, he is that hopeless. After further scrutiny, he discovered that he was in a long corridor and that he had apparently walked through the wall behind him to get in. "Dattebayo... what's going on here?" Seeing no way out, Naruto just began to randomly walk down the hallway, until he reached a door.
'Maybe this is a way out...' He thought, pushing it open and walking through...Problem was the floor kind...wasn't there. "AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" Naruto fell through open sky and eventually landed in a tree...in Mexico...with a group of Mexicans standing in front of him, wearing ponchos and sombreros. Naruto looked around in confusion. "Where am I? This definitely isn't Konoha...Hey you lot!" He turned to the Mexicans. "What's going on?"
The Mexicans ignored him in favour of whinging. "Another one, seriously?!" one moaned.
"That's the fifth kid this week!" The others nodded in agreement. A Mexican in a blue sombrero spoke up, "They always speak a weird tongue...with no Spanish either." Yes, they were speaking Spanish and Naruto Japanese, wasn't it obvious?
"What are you all saying, dattebayo?!" Naruto yelled at them. Poor clueless Naruto-kun, confusing both himself and the poor Mexicans.
"How do they always land in the sacred tree of invisibility?" Questioned the first Mexican. They looked at Naruto. To them, he appeared to be hovering about ten feet in the air, lying across an invisible tree branch...don't ask us how Naruto could see the tree though...maybe because he's a ninja? "Would you like some tacos?" said another Mexican, acknowledging Naruto for the first time. "Or perhaps an enchilada? Maybe nachos? Doritos?" Credit for persisting even though Naruto had no clue what he was saying. "Nani?" See?
Out of nowhere, another purple-swirly vortex appeared above Naruto's head and this time he saw it. He blinked rapidly, when a young girl stuck her head through. Her eyes flicked to Naruto before returning to the Mexicans. "We're very sorry, senores," she said in slightly off Spanish. "My college, Iris, is working very hard to fix this breach in the fourth wall, and should be done by this afternoon, or redirected it to Texas at the least. Kiseki, Yume, Unmei and Shinkou wish to apologise for the inconveniences, so here's 1000 Mexican Peso." She handed them the money before whirling around to face Naruto, frowning.
Naruto gulped and thought back on what she'd said to the People In Funny Hats (as that is what he christened the Mexicans). He'd recognised the Japanese words for miracle, dream, fate and faith but other than that he was lost. "Hey, Hibiscus!" Naruto looked up to see another person look out of the purple-swirly vortex, glad to hear a sentence he understood. "I've finished fixing the wall, grab Naruto already!" A boy with purple hair yelled.
"I'm getting there!" Hibiscus called back. She hauled Naruto to his feet and dragged him to the vortex. He started to struggle, but she gave him an impressive death glare. "Don't even start with me, Naruto-san," she warned him. "I've got a shit load of paperwork to finish already, and you've just added to it." Naruto decided to shut up. 'She's as scary as Sakura-chan!'
Hibiscus lead Naruto through the vortex, then she and the boy lead him back through the hallway, into another vortex and dumped him in front of...his apartment? "What the heck just happened, dattebayo?" He asked them. The boy grinned at him in a sheepish way. "You went through the fourth wall, to the sacred invisible tree in Mexico, off the Mexican Gulf." He explained. "That's all we're allowed to tell you, so...just forget this ever happened and don't tell anybody unless you want to go to the loony bin." He added cheerfully. "Ja ne!" They turned around and went back into the purple-swirly vortex, leaving a confused-as-hell Naruto behind. He decided to go get some ramen and sleep it all off.
ONE MONTH LATER...
"Kiseki, I know we're just subordinates, but why did you have to call a corporation meeting at four am? Why?" Questioned the purple haired boy.
"I'm with Iris," agreed Hibiscus. "We've been up 'till one am practically all month, Iris had to fix that fucking breach that kept popping up and I'm still behind on my contracts because of all the paper work!" Iris nodded in agreement, while stifling a yawn.
A brunette girl added her two cents. "They have a point ya know, we could've at least scheduled the meeting for eight. I mean seriously, Mock Orange and Flytrap both look like shit when they're half asleep."
"Shut the fuck up Black Rose," snapped a girl with orange-yellow hair. "It's too early for your 'brutally honest' bullshit."
"Mock, that's rude," chided an almost identical boy. He turned to the greenette girl beside him. "Tiger Lily, when I asked you to wake up Nee-chan, you probably shoulda bribed her with cake." His tone was matter-of-fact.
Tiger rolled her eyes. "She'd still be grumpy, Flytrap and you know it. Anyway," she directed her attention to the four entities seated at the head of the table. "What's so important?"
The entities looked slowly around the table. Even though it was just their subordinates present, they'd donned their usual cloaks. Said cloaks obscured any of their features and the only way to tell them apart was the kanji on the hoods- Kiseki (miracle), Yume (dream), Unmei (fate) and Shinkou (faith). They were quiet until Unmei spoke.
"We've planned a new fic..."
"Hold on one mother-fucking minute!" roared one of the boys. His hair was jet black with violet flecks. "Another one?! If you do that, your first one'll never be finished! I don't care what you guys say about girls and multitasking, you know I'm right..."
"If you'd allow us to finish, Cannabis," interrupted Shinkou. "We know that two fics at once is a challenge, but those demonic plot bunnies have scored a place in our heads, plus we're kinda losing inspiration for 'High School for the Mentally Unstable'. This fic will also include you guys being directly involved with the story, and we kinda want to show the rest of the internet our favourite bunch of crazies." She added the last bit like it was a compliment.
"So what exactly are we doing?" Inquired Iris "…and where are we going?"
"The Naruto verse…."
"THE NARUTO VERSE! CAN WE MOCK SASUKE?!" screamed Mock Orange.
Yume winced and covered her ears. "Ear drums, Mock…Anyway, we'll be inserting you all in the Chunin Exam arc, as genin teams of four. You will all be from the Mangrove Village, which is in the Land of Beaches…yes; we did just make them both up. You'll also have to bribe the Hokage so he doesn't investigate you all too much…"
"What will we bribe him with?" Asked Flytrap.
"Up to you guys…" said Kiseki. "Teams will be Earth and Air, so Mock and Fly can use their Divine Creation Jutsu, and Fire and Water will be together as well."
"Sweet! We can use our special jutsu!" cheered Mock, high-fiving her brother. "Rules?"
"No killing anyone important, but maiming and psychological trauma is okay. Only use mild power levels, as we don't want too many people to begin to suspect us, or we will no longer be able to mock people," concluded Yume.
"Soooo….GET THE HELL OUTTA MY OFFICE AND LET ME SLEEP!" screeched Kiseki, throwing her shoe at Crabgrass who had been standing by the door.
The subordinates then decided not to push her buttons even more and left, dragging a spluttering Crabgrass with them.
"THAT MEANS YOU GUYS TOO! GET OUT OF MY OFFICE!"
The three other authorities then poofed out of the office into their own offices, muttering about coffee.
"I still know you're here. Now get out or atomisation awaits you all."(Yes dear readers she is talking to you)
Authors Note: YOSH! WE FINALLY FINISHED THE FIRST CHAPTER!I CAN NOW SLEEP! The bloody plot bunny kept kicking me in the face and wouldn't let me sleep. Next chapter we shall explain where the Kitsune Corp came from, who they are , what they can do, and what their goals are. Ja ne!