As nice as it was to have no more stories to update, I needed an excuse to get away from dreaded maths revision ;) This is my first completely none Chelsie fanfic :o very foreign territory ;)

"That poor wee babe."

"How's her ladyship doing?"

"I'll take her up a tray in a minute though I dare say she won't touch a bite"

Everyone was blank and silent, no one knew quite what to say and after the fight between Thomas and William, no one wanted to be sociable.

True to her word Mrs Hughes took up the tray, cautiously entering the room and quietly set the tray down on the table beside her bed. Cora made a faint smile but looked out of the window ahead, she looked paler than the sheets she was lying between, her usual chestnut brown hair now looked dark against her skin. Her face, devoid of colour, even her eyes had dilated to a milky grey and her lips, normally cherry red, now had only the slightest pinky hue about them

"I brought you a tray milady, in case you wanted something"

Cora didn't speak, simply stared ahead and nodded. Mrs Hughes knew she shouldn't pry but she could see the sadness in her employer's eyes.

"Are you alright my lady?" she knew the answer but she knew it was the only way she would get the true answer.
She didn't answer for a while, simply let her tears fall down her cheeks. Sad to see her employer so distraught, Mrs Hughes sat on the edge of the bed, taking Cora's hand into hers and stroking her knuckle.

"I can't begin to understand what you're going through milady but I can understand how upset you are"

They were silent for a while, Mrs Hughes didn't want to leave her side. She knew this would usually have been what O'Brien would do but for some reason she was nowhere to be found, she was reminded of when she was a young housemaid and had waited on her ladyship, as housekeeper she rarely did and most tasks went to O'Brien, but for once she was able to offer some comfort and support to Cora when she really needed it.

"My son… my first son" she managed the words but the realisation only upset her more. Mrs Hughes laid a hand on her shoulder,

Cora looked at her, stunned, no one had asked about him, after Dr Clarkson had left, Robert had been quick to hurry off to be in private, knowing she wouldn't want to see him crumble as well. O'Brien too seemed to disappear, busying herself in the servants hall and avoiding coming back up. Mr Hughes had been the only one to not only inquire after her but also to ask about the baby.

"When i fell, Dr Clarkson said his head was the first thing to hit the ground and it…broke his neck. He was so helpless, lying there, Dr Clarkson is making arrangements to have him buried but ... To see it, lying there lifeless, held by Dr Clarkson, you.. You can't imagine Mrs Hughes"

She was right, she couldn't imagine how it would feel to see your unborn child lying in there, she didn't want to imagine, she'd had enough imagining.

"Tell me about him my lady, what would he have been like?"

Cora thought for a moment before she smiled, more than before but not convincing enough to fool Mrs Hughes.

"Our first son...no doubt we'd have called him Robert, though I'd have preferred something a little nicer"

"What would you've preferred?"

"Well my fathers name wasn't particularly English but I would've liked something George or James"

"I confess I prefer that to Robert"

"He would have had blue eyes, I can tell, Mary and Edith have brown but Sybil had blue so he would have as well. He would take after his father in so many ways, I can just imagine him having sandy hair the kind you just like to tousle"

Mrs Hughes smiled, she'd only seen Sybil growing up but she too could imagine Robert and this sandy haired boy, similar in so many ways. She could just see him tousling the hair of his little boy - his son.

"Robert would have adored him, not that he doesn't love the girls but this would be his son, the son he'd always wanted. When he was big enough, they would no doubt go for walks together, Robert would teach him about what goes on around the estate. Robert would have lifted him to sit on his shoulders so he could see over the hills, look back at Downton and know this was his home.

He would have no doubt gone down into the servants hall from time to time, as they all did."

Mrs Hughes smiled; recalling memories of the young ladies coming downstairs, pretending they were asking after someone when really they wanted cocoa and a cuddle which Mrs Hughes frequently gave them. Even Lady Mary who had always relied on Carson for and paternal need, had always gone I Mrs Hughes when she was in need of motherly affection. Mrs Hughes hadn't known her as a young child but even though she'd been ten when she'd arrived, she was just as in need of a cuddle as five year old Sybil would be.

"He would have taken a shine to you and Mr Carson, no doubt as soon as he could stand he'd be copying Mr Carson. He'd be looked after by a nanny for most of his childhood so you and Carson would probably become parents to him as well. He would have been bright, as they've all been, but there were different ways he could've been, he could've been clever and stubborn like Mary he could have been quiet and studious like Edith or independent and opinionated like Sybil, but he would have been a very bright boy. He would likely have been running the estate by the time he was about fifteen, being the heir, Robert'd be making sure he knew exactly what to do as soon as he was old enough. Edith and Sybil would fight over him, wanting to spend time with him. Edith would've liked to have someone to spend time with and they'd all have got the mothering experience with him, taking turns to looks after him and teaching him things as he grew up. I can just see Sybil teaching him about politics, convincing him how to think. Letting him have his own opinion but just pushing him towards hers"

They both smiled, Robert had been angry at her for her political escapades but both Cora and Mrs Hughes admired her for her passion and secretly Mrs Hughes was very glad that she'd gone that night, not that she'd been hurt but it spoke well of her that she supported he changing world.

"I'm sure he would have been a delight to have around, I always loved the thought of a baby in the house."

"So do I. Though he would have no idea the chaos his birth would've caused, he would have gone around, smiling and happy, maybe one day we'd tell him but he'd never know about Matthew and any previous heirs, at least not until he was old enough to notice his age difference with his sisters. He'd ask questions eventually and we'd have to answer him, he'd have liked Matthew, I can imagine them being very alike but if course Matthew was only here because he had to be."

"I think Mr Crawley is here through choice now milady, if he's to marry Lady Mary of course he is."

"Oh I can't see that happening anymore, she's waited too long, she may love him but she's taken too long to answer. I don't know what'll happen but I can't imagine he'll still want to marry her - it seems as if she would have turned him down had the baby been born."

"Well we can hope my lady, if they like each other I'm sure they'll realise"

Cora raised her eyebrows and looked away again, the colour has returned to her cheeks and she looked slightly cheerier.

"Will you still want to host the garden party my lady?" as much as it would annoy her, all the work they'd put in downstairs to plan the Garden party, she would understand if Cora didn't want to be particularly sociable.

"Yes, I think so. There's no reason why all your hard work should go to waste and people mustn't think I'm really ill.

"As long as you're sure milady, we can easily call it off"

"No, it's fine" she sighed and leant her head back against the headboard. Mrs Hughes began to stand up.

"You're tired my lady, if you want I can…"

"No wait, Mrs Hughes, you said you could understand how upset I was, how? What happened?"

"Oh it doesn't matter my lady"

"If you have ever felt as I do now, I would very much like to know why."

It was Mrs Hughes's turn to look away, unsure if she wanted to tell her, but she knew she could trust her employer. So she sat back down.

"Well, in my family I'm the eldest then there's my younger sister Eleanor, but when I was sixteen, my mother became pregnant again. She'd had a miscarriage before I was born but the baby had only been a few weeks old; she hadn't even known but with this child, my brother, everything was fine, she was in perfect health and so was the baby. When it came to the night of the birth the doctor was out of town, my father took the cart to go and get him, asking me to stay and look after mother. But the baby came quicker than expected, I had to deliver it; I was only sixteen, I'd never experienced birth before, I knew what to do but it wasn't anything like I'd expected. I knew there was something wrong, there was a lot more blood than I knew there should have been and when he was finally born he was so small, smaller than I'd ever seen a baby and he didn't cry. He was very still and cold. I laid him on the bed, knowing he couldn't be alive, I checked, he wasn't breathing either. My mother was confused, she was calling my name but I couldn't hear her, all I remember is staring at this tiny boy; my stillborn brother. She kept asking what was wrong, she looked so scared yet with anticipation in her eyes, keen to hold her new son, but I told her everything was ok, constantly reassuring her everything was going to be alright.
I know it broke my mother's heart, she cried endlessly for days, refusing to see anyone, keeping herself locked in her room. We found her after about a week, she'd died quite literally of a broken heart though it had been through losing too much blood during the birth and the doctor found she was still losing blood in those few days. I never got to say goodbye; the last things I said to her were everything was going to be alright – I couldn't have been more wrong."

They were silent, Cora looked shocked and Mrs Hughes looked at the blanket she sat on.

"Oh Mrs Hughes I had no idea"

"No one does milady, I've never told anyone"

"I'm so sorry."

"Don't be my lady, it doesn't matter just… I don't want you to be too upset, it would only worry me more"

Cora smiled in understanding but it quickly turned into a yawn.

"I'll leave you to rest my lady. If there's anything you need..."

"Thank you Mrs Hughes" Cora squeezed her hand as she stood up. "For talking to me and understanding, you're always so kind"

She smiled and straightened the creases in the blankets she'd sat on.

"It's no bother my lady, I'm always here if you need me" she squeezed her hand back and let it rest on the bed before she left.
Quietly closing the door behind her, she hadn't liked to mention it, but when Cora had described what her son would've been like; it hadn't escaped her notice that Cora could have been describing a younger version of Matthew, it was clear that they already regarded him as their son, but she supposed having their own would have made a whole world of difference, good or bad. She descended the stairs and imagined the little knock at her sitting room door, but instead of seeing the little face of one of the young ladies, she'd see the little face of Master Crawley asking for cocoa and a cuddle as she'd done with a the Crawley children. Her little surrogate son. But now he was to be buried, a boy that didn't deserve to die, that poor, poor wee babe.

Hope this was ok, trying so hard I leave Chelsie out of it, my next planned story doesnt have Chelsie in either :o Apologies for any mistakes, I wrote this in the car. If you have time, please review :)