My first Fic, hope you like it! :)
Out
The suburban street was almost completely silent that night, save for the occasional gust of autumn wind and the quiet footsteps against the sidewalk. The figure that the steps belonged to walked slowly, as if in a trance. His green eyes were red and puffy from crying and a purpling bruise was on his cheek. He wore an old, over stuffed, messenger bag over his left shoulder while his right one was slightly slumped as though it were painful to move.
His name is Antonio Fernandez Carriedo, he's 14 years old, and he has just been kicked out of his home by his own parents.
'Why,' he thought 'why did they- why didn't they-?' Antonio bit his lip as the tears leaked from his eyes.
'This wasn't supposed to happen, they weren't supposed to react that way!' He let out a weak sob as he clutched his messenger bag's strap tightly. "To think that the evening had started out so well" he whispered bitterly.
That evening Antonio had decided to tell his parents the secret he had been keeping from them for over two years now, that he was gay. He was only twelve when he realized it but there was no doubt in his mind that he preferred guys.
'What did I do wrong?' He thought desperately. He screwed is eyes shut as he thought over the night, searching for his mistake.
Like he thought, it had started off well. He had helped his mother in the kitchen as dinner cooked and then set the table in perfect order as is father liked. Once they sat down and finished their prayers he told them how well he did on his algebra test and about how he blew his music class away with is performance on his guitar. His father patted him on the back and told him how he expected nothing less.
Then, Antonio gathered his courage and was about to make his confession, but was interrupted by his mother.
"I ran into that Belgian girl at the market today, she asked about you." She said with a smile.
"Really?" his father asked.
Antonio frowned, but quickly painted on a smile when they turned to him
"Is there something you're not telling us?" his dad asked while nudging his son in a joking way.
Antonio gave a light laugh but swallowed hard, "Actually I-"
"You should invite her over some time!" his mother exclaimed.
He really didn't like were this was going, so he tried again. "You see, I would, but-"
"Well why not? She sounds like a very nice girl!" is father pressed.
Antonio bit his lip in frustration "Because I-"
"oh, I see, you don't want to face her brother! Understandable, but if you really like her, you're going to need to stand up to him sooner or later." He said with a reassuring voice.
Antonio tightened his fist slightly but smiled at his father's advice. This time when he spoke he thankfully went uninterrupted, "First, Bella and I are only friends, and there's actually something I have to tell you,"
His mother slightly pouted at the first half, but then got worried when she heard the second. "You're not in trouble are you dear?" she asked, his father's eyebrows drew up in concern at this suggestion.
"No no no!" Antonio exclaimed quickly, his parents features relaxed a bit at this. "You see I'm," He took in a deep breath in as futile effort to calm his nerves.
"I'm gay."
What happened next was something he was completely unprepared for. There was no 'we love you any way!' speech he hoped for, no sudden dramatic gasp or instant punch to the jaw he feared of; there was nothing, just silence. A very eerie, a very cold, and a very unstable, silence.
The once light and cheerful family atmosphere fell crashing down in icy flames. His parents stared at him with blank faces for a total of 8 seconds before his father burst into laughter, his mother joined in with a quiet, somewhat nervous laugh.
Calming down, his father stood and placed a heavy hand on is shoulder, "You shouldn't say such terrible jokes, they don't suit you." Antonio winced slightly as he felt is fathers hand squeeze a bit harder then necessary, this made him start to sweat.
"No, I really am ga-"
"Antonio!" his head snapped up at his mother, taken back by the harsh tone of her usually soft and kind voice. "You realize what that word means right? That it means, it means…" she pursued her lips in disgust before whispering it, "homosexual, and that that's a sin in Gods eyes?" by now she was clutching her rosary.
Antonio could feel his heart cracking. "Yes, Mamá, I know, but please listen, it's not that ba-"
"'Not that bad?'" his father repeated in a low and chilling voice "Antonio Fernandez Carriedo I raised you as best as I possibly could, in every way I remember my father raising me. And you are not that!" by now the hand on his shoulder had squeezed much tighter.
"Yes I am and you're hurting me!"
"Stop, just STOP! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO US!" his mother shrieked, she then started to sob, he tried to go to her but his father forced him back down, not once lightening his grip.
"Tomorrow you will go to confession and admit your sin, after we'll look for away to fix this. You will not speak to anyone about this unless told, and you will stay away from those sinners you call friends. They're probably the reason you started thinking like this in the first place." The look his father gave him as he spoke made Antonio feel like he wasn't even human, or that he had some plague like disease. It wasn't right.
"No." he said, his voice almost shaking.
His father tightened his grip even more. It felt as if his bones were about to snap under the pressure, and if they didn't there would no doubt be a nasty bruise. "As long as you live under my roof you will not disobey me." He threatened. Antonio could feel tears prickling his eyes.
"No!" he then forced himself from his father's grasp, falling from his chair in the process. Mr. Carriedo face turned red with anger as Antonio scrambled to his feet.
Mrs. Carriedo said nothing as the actions took place.
"I don't want to change! I like who I am!" Antonio exclaimed bravely, despite his shaking hands.
Another sob was heard from his mother as his father's fist clenched, a short silence, then, "If you want to continue living like... that, then you are no longer my son."
Through those words Antonio's world shattered. "Wha- I- you can't-" Mr. Carriedo ignored him as he walk passed toured his wife who was still sobbing. "You can't do that!" Antonio exclaimed as he reached out to them, but his father's backhand stopped him. Antonio fell to the floor, clutching the right side of his face in pain. A new wave of sobs came from his mother, but she did nothing to help him.
"Leave" Mr. Carriedo said before turning his back to comfort is wife.
Tears broke free as Antonio ran to his room for the last time. He felt so much emotion overpowering him, fear, grief, rage, and most of all regret. He packed whatever he could fit in his old messenger bag and threw it onto his shoulder, only to wince and switch sides.
He tried to wipe away his tears as he made his way down the steps, but it was useless. From the hall he could hear his parents quiet prayers for forgiveness and his stomached twisted. After taking one last glance at his now former home, he turn away and left, closing the door softly behind him.
Antonio stared down at is feet as a dieing street lamp flickered above him.
'I tried so hard and they wouldn't listen.' He thought. He let go of a shaky breath, 'They wouldn't listen at all!' clenching his jaw he picked up his pace, faster and faster, until he was all out running down the sidewalk.
He ran as fast as he could, block after block, until his legs burned in exhaustion and he could barley breath. Tears continued to pour from his eyes once he stopped, his heart painfully pounded in his chest. He hunched forward to catch his breath, his chest aching at each gasp.
'It's not fair, it's not fair, why did this have to happen?' He sobbed weakly as he slowly regained his breath, but his legs felt to heavy to move. 'It's not fair'
Opening his eyes, he stared at the ground and noticed something. There, on the concert beneath his feet, was a drawing of a pouting tomato that had been scribble out. Despite his current state he couldn't help but laugh at it in recognition, he himself being the one who drew it just that afternoon. As for the one to scribble it out, that had been Lovi, the adorable little Italian he looked after.
Looking up, he gave a tired smile at the moderately large house before him, the Vargas household. Now that he thought about it, it wasn't to surprising he ended up here, as he had walk this way about a thousand time's by now. When he was little, his parent's would drop him off here to be watched after by Mrs. Vargas. After she left the family, it was just Mr. Vargas (or Romulus as he preferred) and little Feliciano and Lovino. (Despite his parents pressuring, Romulus always remained tight lipped of why his wife left him, leading them to believe that adultery had come into play.)
His wife no longer home to watch them, Romulus tried taking the little ones to work with him. Although Feli got along great with the staff and their kids, Lovi always threw a fuse and even declared his never ending hatred on one of Romulus business partners and his family. For about a year Romulus tried every babysitter he could find, but none lasted more than a few days, one even ran out screaming in the first ten minutes. It wasn't until his family visited one evening that Romulus practically broke down and begged Antonio to watch Lovi. He was only ten, but seemed to be the only one the little seven year old didn't completely refuse. His parents agreed and from then on he would visit almost daily to play with Lovino.
Antonio's smile grew slightly as he thought about all the fun memories he had at that house. From the time Romulus snuck him his first sip of wine one New Years when he was seven, to the time he and Lovi planted tomatoes in the back yard after he started to watch him. The tomato plants had now conquered most the backyard garden thanks to them. Antonio couldn't help but giggle at that as he made his way up the path to the door. He remembered all the sleepovers he had there when Romulus was working late, or during the few time's he was sick Lovi would come over to his house to babysit him. To be honest, this place was like a second home to him. Now on the door step, Antonio had raised his hand; ready to knock, when reality just about smacked him in the face.
'What am I thinking!' immediately he jumped back away from the had been so lost in thought he had almost forgot the reason he was out here and, most importantly, the state he was in. Showing up in the dead of night, bruised, tearful, and exhausted. If he had knocked and they had answered there would've no doubt had been questions, and Antonio didn't think he could handle the same treatment twice in one night. The Vargas's were a devoted Catholic family, even more so then his family, at least back when Mrs. Vargas was still around.
Releasing a heavy sigh, Antonio sat down on the front step to rest a bit, his legs still feeling heavy from the run. Staring out straight ahead he thought over his predicament, he was without a home and needed to find one fast, and his closest option being out on account of religious reason. The only people who knew of his orientation and accepted him were his two best friends, Frances and Gilbert. The problem was Frances lived about 16 miles away in the city, and Gilbert had moved back to Germany nearly a year ago and could only be contacted via phone or internet. Neither of which he had nor been able to use without is parents' permeation. Antonio hugged his legs and rested his chin on his knees. It was too late to catch a bus to the city and even if it wasn't he didn't have enough money to get on. He blinked his eyes to keep the tears at bay. He was too young to get a job and didn't know where or how to get one. He bit his lip. What is he going to do for food? Taking in a sharp breath, he closed his eyes and rested his forehead agents his knees, trying to keep calm. It didn't work well, as a few tears did escape.
Through his eyelids he saw a faint glow of light. Startled, he wiped around only to see that the door was still closed and that the light wasn't from the front hall lamp, but the neighboring kitchen window. Actually it was from the kitchen fridge to be exact, and who was standing in front of it? A half asleep Lovino accompanied by his equally as half asleep little brother, Feliciano. Antonio almost laughed at their adorable expressions before a thought dawned on him. This might be the last time he'll ever see his little tomato again. Frowning, Antonio looked away.
Knowing he couldn't stay any longer, he carefully and quietly tried to push himself up off the steps, only to have a bolt of agony rip through his shoulder. He yelped in pain and cursed himself for such a stupid action. A pair of screams were heard from the kitchen, shortly fallow by the thundering of Romulus running down the stairs. The front door was forced open letting loose a flood of light, causing him to wince.
Romulus stood in the door way, ready with a bat and a scary look, both of which dropped when he saw Antonio.
"Antonio? What the hell ar-" his confused expression switch to concern in a flash when he saw the tears and bruises, "What happened" he demanded. Antonio paled, if he tried to run Romulus could easily catch him and if he stayed he could end up in worse shape.
"Fratello Toni!" A shocked Feli cried out as he and Lovi emerged from the kitchen. Feliciano ran to him and hugged him while Lovino look on in shock. Antonio let out a hiss of pain as Feli latched on to the bruised arm. Romulus frowned deepened at this while Lovino smacked his brother for being so careless; this caused Feli to erupt into a fit of 'I'm sorry's!'
Letting out a nervous laugh, Antonio patted his head. "It's ok, I'm fine." He assured the tearful Italian.
"No you're not, come inside and let me help." Romulus told him.
With a thick swallow, Antonio got on his feet and slowly fallowed the man in. He felt Feli take one of his hands and shortly after, much to his surprise, Lovi took his other one. Antonio smiled weakly as a thought crossed his mind. 'Maybe if I stick close to them Romulus won't get as upset.'
About ten minutes later Antonio was sitting on the couch, his bag and jacket on the floor beside him. Much to his dismay Romulus tried to send Lovino and Feliciano to bed, but thankfully they refused and were now sitting on either side of him while their father retrieved a pair of ice packs from the freezer. Once he returned he placed the packs on the coffee table and moved Feli to his lap so he could get a better look at the bruising. Antonio nervously unbuttoned his shirt and pulled it out of the way. The boys gasp at the sight of the bruise while Romulus eyes narrowed at the hand like shape. Antonio looked away from him and ended up facing Lovino. The 11 year old had a look of concern before it immediately turned to rage and he spoke to him the first time that night. "What the HELL happened?" he demanded.
Antonio bit his lip at the question that was currently on all three of the Vargas's minds. His attention was snapped back to Romulus's when he felt the ice be placed on the bruise.
"It's definitely going to be changing plenty of colors over the next few days so I suggest you should prop your arm up a bit and keep both the bruises iced. Now will you please tell us what happened, and who did this?" he asked.
Antonio nervously looked at his feet as he faintly felt Lovi squeeze the hand that he hadn't realized he was still holding. He slid it away from Lovino's grasp and instead took the smaller ice pack and press it gently agents his cheek.
He felt like he was standing in the middle of a mine field, and anything he said would result to injuries or worse. His breath got shaky as his eyes weld up again. "I-" his voice cracked. Romulus patted his back in reassurance but it only made the teen flinch. With another shaking breath he closed his eyes, 'The sooner it's said, the sooner it's over' "I-I'm gay."
He waited for Lovino to jerk away, for Feli to shriek, and for Romulus to kick him out just like his parents did. But instead all he heard was a soft "Oh"
Antonio look up in surprise while Romulus gave him a look of slight amusement "I can see it." he said while scratching his chin in thought.
Antonio felt completely dumbfounded at this reaction.
Then out of no were his expression turn from light to dark causing Antonio to tense and leaned away from him, and into Lovino by accident.
"So the reason your over here like this is because of your parents, right?" he asked, Antonio nodded.
"Those idiots" Romulus sighed. "Parents shouldn't kick their kids out for such a stupid reason." Leaning back into the couch, Romulus hugged Feli tighter while the boy looked between them in confusion.
"W-what does that mean?" Feliciano asked tiredly, his eyelids drooping from sleep.
Antonio blushed slightly "well, it's when, um, i-it's whe-"
"It's when a guy loves another guy." Lovino snapped bluntly.
"Yes, that..." Antonio mumbled, taking a glance at Lovi. The boy clearly looked irritated, arms crossed over his chest; eyes avoiding Antonio, and his face looking red with anger. Tonio could feel his heart sink, he expected this, he knew he'd be angry. "I'm sorry Lovi" Antonio reached his hand out to comfort Lovino, but the boy immediately backed away, his face reddening darker. Toni drew his hand back and looked away. He really didn't want Lovi to hate him; to lose their friendship was hard to bare.
Romulus, who saw it all, let out another sigh. "I Think it's time we all go back to bed." he exclaimed, nodding to Feli who was already a sleep in his arms. "Antonio, you can stay in the guest room."
Antonio smiled and thanked him as he picked up his bag and coat. Once he stud back up he realized that Lovino had already run up the stairs without saying good night to any of them.
Antonio laid in his bed, staring at the ceiling, thinking over the nights events again. He wondered if his parents missed him or maybe even regretted what they did. Romulus told him, after taking care of Feli, he would go over to talk to them in the morning. Antonio hoped it would go over well. He also hoped that Lovi would still at least speak to him. He honestly loved the little Italian. Sure, he may a little (very) difficult at times, and his headbuts could bring even Romulus to his knees, but he had is moments. Like when he was determined to help Antonio when he was sick or how cute and proud he looked after they pick their first batch of the tomato's they grew themselves. Antonio found himself smiling at the fond memories.
Having been so lost in thought, he almost hadn't heard the door open. Looking up he saw a short figure quietly close the door and run to the other side of the bed.
Stubbing his toe on the bed leg, the figure let loose a string of curses, giving away his identity.
"Lovino?" Antonio questioned.
The Italian froze, having not known the teen was awake. Instead of responding the 11 year old quickly lept under the covers and turned his back to the other.
"Was it a nightmare?" Antonio asked. Still no response. Sighing heavily he returned to looking at the ceiling. 'At least he's not completely avoiding me' he thought to himself.
A long silence hung between them after. Antonio was actually about to dose off when Lovino finally spoke.
"I don't hate you."
The teen released a small breath he didn't know he held.
"I-I mean I'm still mad, but it's not because you like guys! That's ok, I mean, Feli liked that German brat so, so…" Antonio had almost physically felt a weight lift off his shoulders.
"Then why are you mad?" he couldn't help but ask, sitting up to face the younger.
"Because!" he exclaimed shooting up right. His face turned three more shades of red and looked away. " Because, you… you didn't tell me…"
Antonio looked at him in confusion. "But I just told you down-"
"Yeah, with papa and Feli! But not with just me… I bet you already told those freaks too." Antonio looked away guilty. He didn't know Lovi would be this upset about it.
"I thought you would have been disgusted by me." Antonio admitted
Lovi stared at him, then pouted (so cute!)and crossed his arms, "Your stupider then you look, you know that? If you think that's all it's going to take to get out of doing my chores."
Antonio couldn't help but laugh at Lovi's response.
Now that he thought about it, despite how terrible and traumatic the events of that day were, despite how alone and afraid he had felt, it had been Lovi that made him smile again.
"Stop laughing you bastard! It wasn't even funn- Chigi!" Lovi yelp as Antonio suddenly pulled him into a tight hug.
"Let go! Bastard! Let-" Lovi stopped struggling when he felt tears trickle onto his neck.
"Thank you," Antonio whispered softly "thank you."
Lovi let out a small huff and hugged him back, hiding his bright red face in his good shoulder.
Moments ticked by and after pulling away they decided they should get some sleep, seeing as is was now nearly 1 in the morning.
Being so tired from the day, Antonio fell asleep almost the instant his head hit the pillow. Lovino watched him in silence as he breathed slow even breaths, his face now calm and peaceful.
Blushing, he carefully took Antonio's hand and gently laced their fingers together. A small smile tugged at Lovino's lips as he snuggled closer to the other.
"Buonanotte bastardo"
Fratello- brother
Buonanotte bastardo- Goodnight bastard
And that's it! Thank you for reading and please reveiw!
-Edit: I would like to thank everyone for their wonderful reveiws and help in correting my mistakes. Especially kirin-saga for the grammer/spelling and MelancholyMadness for the spacing. Thank you!