"Unnnnnnngg..." Edward Nigma moaned in despair. Joker looked over at him, glaring.

"Unnnnnnnnnnnnnngg..." Edward exclaimed again. Joker's glare intensified and Jonathan Crane turned to give a menacing stare in the puzzle master's direction. Edward merely slumped his head into his hand.

"UNNNNNNNG..." Edward moaned, almost yelling. Joker at Cane stood from their chairs and appeared to loom over an unnoticing Nigma.

"What is it?" Joker and Crane said through gritted teeth and clenched jaws. Nigma spun away from the computer on the desk chair, turning to the pair. Riddler looked absently at Crane's hand, itching to find his fear gas his and at Joker's balled fists, itching to punch a hole in his face.

"I'm boooooooooooored." he whined. Crane's hand found his gas.

"That's IT." he proclaimed, gassing Riddler and pushing him out of the desk chair and into the corner. Joker watched contemplatively as Nigma shook back and forth chanting "I can't be mediocre, I can't be the common man, I'm sorry father..."

"What are we supposed to do about him NOW?" Joker asked, turning to look at Crane who was typing away on the computer keyboard. Crane grunted slightly, and waved him off with a hand. Joker grinned and leaned over, peering over Crane's shoulder. The website displayed was done up in cheesy shades of blue and pink, and had pictures of happy people holding onto each other. At first Joker thought it might be a site for a mental hospital, but realized quickly from the title of the site that it was, in fact

"Internet dating?" Joker asked. Crane nodded without turning to Joker.

"It's the only option, don't you see?" Crane said. "He's got far too much time on his hands. This is the obvious answer. Help me fill it out."

Joker looked it over.

" 'First Section : Basic Information' " Joker read aloud. " 'Name.' Well, it's not as if we can type in 'Riddler', or 'Edward Nigma'. His birthname was Nashton, right? So how about 'Edward Nashton'?" Crane nodded.

" 'Height'." Crane mused, looking over at the now slumbering (and snoring) Ridder. " 'Six Feet and One Inch'."

" 'Gender' is 'Male'. 'Interest' is 'Women'." Joker said, pointing to the next box down. "It is women, right?" Crane turn to stare at the snoring supervillain again. He shrugged.

"Let's put that in. At the least he can make a new friend." Crane said. " 'Sexual Preferences'-"
" 'General... Sexual... Deviance...' " Joker typed in. Though Crane rolled his eyes he did nothing to correct it.

" 'Initiated by Me'. " Crane said, typing simultaneously. Joker nodded.

"Mmm. He is the pompously blunt give-me-whatever-I-want type." Joker concluded. They'd come to the penultimate section: 'Personality Traits/Likes and Dislikes'. The pair of villains looked at one another, and soon there was a battle for the keyboard in progress.

"Genius!" Joker typed, pushing the wheeled desk chair aside.

"Romantic!" Scarecrow typed, ramming himself into Joker's side.

"Self Righteous Bastard!" Joker typed...

"Intelligent!" Scarecrow typed.

"Chivalrous!"

"Arrogant!"

"Confident!" with that final retort, Jonathan clicked the 'next' button and they were finally at the end of the process: 'Personal Information'.

" 'Email' '.com', 'Phone' '212-743-3537' " Joker typed in, to a questioning look from Crane. "What? Nigma's the only smart one here?"

They both looked at the final box. 'Picture: Upload_(BROWSE)'

"Can we use a picture of him?" Joker asked. Crane tapped on the table in thought.

"His face isn't widely known. Not even the Bat knows what the face behind the mask looks like now." Scarecrow pointed out. Joker nodded.

"To the file labeled "Vicki Vale" " Joker said and left-clicked with a flourish. The file opened not just tens, nor hundreds but thousands of pictures of Edward Nigma: topless, wearing a suit, wearing a dress-

"You're sure it's women?"

-wearing nothing at al-

"Dear god in heaven, my eyes."

"I never knew he had a belly-button tattoo... Go Nigma!"
-and wearing a spandex suit with hundreds of question marks.

"He's just so full of himself!" Crane commented, still in shock. Joker nodded with a condescending smirk.

"This one. He's wearing a black suit with a white tie, no green at all." Joker pointed to one in which Edward looked as though he was modeling the suit.

"Is that Armani with the cuffs peering, or peeking?" Crane muses aloud. Joker looked at him oddly.

"Not women, huh?"

They clicked upload, and in seconds Edward Nashton was floating about in cyberspace, waiting for science - or what passes for science in the Internet - to find him a suitable life partner.