A/N: This was a silly bortherly type fic written for batfic_contest on livejournal. Let me know what you think!

The Light Spectrum According to Dick Grayson

Or

Organizing Your Villains

"What are we doing down here?" Tim asked, impatient as ever looking around the Cave. "And what is that?" He demanded spotting the sheet-covered board and easel Dick had set up near the computers.

"Hold on a second and you'll see. God you're grouchy." Dick grumbled. "Sit." He pointed to a chair set in front of the easel. "Good," He said once Tim had reluctantly taken his seat arms crossed and eyes narrowed ever so slightly. "And now, ta-da!" He pulled the sheet away revealing a large board that said "The Villain Spectrum" in big fancy letters at the bottom.

"I think the circus gave you a flair for the overly dramatic," Tim grumbled staring at the board.

"Shut up and take a look at it." Tim rolled his eyes but did as he was told. It was, from what he could tell, the light spectrum but with the names of villains instead of colors. "Roy G Biv," He said aloud to himself recalling the mnemonic he had learned years ago in elementary school.

Dick had set it up so that the lesser villains were on the left, under the "R" escalating until they reached the "V" at the end. "R" was The Condiment King, a villain Tim had never personally faced, but knew was considered a joke. Next was "O" with Mad Hatter, followed by "Y" for Scarecrow, "G" for Poison Ivy, "B" for Penguin, "I" for Two-Face, and "V" for (surprise, surprise) the Joker.

"You know that it's ineffective to use the mnemonic for the light spectrum when the letters don't stand for anything. It ceases to be mnemonic at that point and is just your weird system for keeping villains straight."

"Whiny. And it's a gradient. It's meant to teach you that not all villains are created equal. You can't treat The Condiment King like the Joker. It doesn't work." Dick told him which was still ignoring Tim's point completely.

"Why isn't Lex on there?" Tim said spotting another apparent problem.

"Huh?"

"Luthor, Lex Luthor. Superman's biggest enemy, former President of the United States. Should you be the one teaching me this? Maybe I should get Bruce."

"Don't get cocky, Tim. You could be doing pull-ups. And it's your own fault you can't spar. You didn't wait for me to spot you. Just be glad it is me and not Bruce, he'd be a thousand times worse, and way less fun. And be happy that your ankle will be fine in a day or two.

"And he's not on here because he's Superman's greatest enemy. That means he has relatively little interest in Gotham most days. Therefore Lex is filed in the computer as a minor threat to Gotham herself but a major threat to both Metropolis and The U.S. in general.

"Be glad you're not reading the files like I did. The cross referencing alone would give you a massive headache. Instead you get my awesome Spectrum. Which makes complete sense."

Tim sighed. "What's with the pink?" He asked noting a pink mark under Violet.

Dick brightened. "You noticed! I was afraid I'd have to point it out!" Tim looked at him expectantly. "God, you should be happier. You're Robin! You're the bright, cheery one!" Tim just glared and Dick huffed. "Fine." He pointed at the pink.

"This is for Harley Quinn. She's not as dangerous as the Joker and works for him, hence why her color is a shade of his, but in her devotion to 'Mista J' she will do just about anything he asks her too that makes her very dangerous.

"This," Dick said pointing to a peach color below Orange, "Is for Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumb. They're next to no threat. Even compared to the Mad Hatter but they are well known for working for him, hence a shade of his."

Tim stared. "Did you ever think that maybe you've spent way too much time with Bruce?"

Dick laughed and affectionately cuffed him on the head.