Disclaimer- I do not own "South Park", this is soul property of "Comedy Central". I do, however, own any characters not mentioned in the show at anytime.

How y'all going? This is my first EVER attempt at writing a FanFic… So please be nice!

I don't know many of the terms used on here yet, like 'Slash' or 'HPDM' or 'OneShot'…Even if someone just made it up… So expect the unexpected, that's what I gotta say… Just to let you know. Hope you enjoy!

P.S: I got this idea off a website. If you can e-mail me the site you think is related to my story that would be greatly appreciated. I would like to acknowledge the creator of this fabo idea! Story is written in my own words though. Enjoy.

-Jessica

I'm going down to South Park
gonna have myself a time.

Friendly faces everywhere
humble folks without temptation.

Going down to South Park
gonna leave my woes behind.

Ample parking day or night,
people shouting HOWDY NEIGHBOR!

Heading on up to South Park
gonna see if I can't unwind.

Muffled Speech.

so come on down to South Park
and meet some friends of mine!

(South park Banjo plays: Stan, Kyle, and Cartman wait at the bus stop)

"Dude, did you do your math homework last night?"Asked Kyle.

Stan looked at his friend in a glum way."No, dude, I was up all night watching a stupid movie my Mom made me watch."

Cartman smiled slightly and chuckled as he made a joke."What stupid movie, Stan? 'One night in Paris?' Hehehe…"

Both Kyle and Stan looked at their fat friend.

"No, dude, it was called Yentl! I couldn't get to sleep for hours!"

"Oh, man. That would suck!" Kyle exclaimed.

"Hey, where's Kenny?"

Kenny made his way up the road from his house to the bus stop, which was only a few blocks away.

Mumbled speech

"Hey Kenny." said both Stan and Kyle in chorus

Mumbled speech

"Oh, I'm sure your Mom had packed you a 'healthy' lunch of paperclips and toenails." Cartman laghed.

Mumbled speech

"What did you call me, you poor pussy eater?"

Mumbled speech

Cartman was gob smacked. How could Kenny, his BFF, saysuch thingsto him? It was only a joke!

"That's fine! That's fine! Your mom is a Dirty nympho whore who has to get her cummupins by giving out head jobs for ecstasy and crack out on the Broncos and eats off her own aborted fetuses too!"

Kenny growled at his rude friend and smacked him hard upside his head.

Mumbled speech

"God-dammit, Kenny!" Cartman returned the hit by smacking Kenny in the stomach.

"Whoa, dudes! Take it easy!" Stan said, watching the two buddies quarrel.

Soon after the boys began to fight, Ms. Crabtree's bus came roaring down the road. As Kenny and Cartman were punching, hitting and kicking in the noots, Cartman 'accidentally' pushed Kenny in front of the bus!

Mumbled speech

In the blink of an eye, Kenny was squished and splattered all over Ms. Crabtree's Bus.

"Oh my god! They killed Kenny!" Stan Shouted.

"You bastards!" Kyle followed.

As the boys said their famous quote, the door of the bus opened to reveal the horrid Ms. Crabtree. "WHAT DID YOU SAY!" Ms. Crabtree yelled in the boys faces.

"Uhh... I was telling Kyle about the suburb Killkenny" Stan shuddered.

"Yeah… And I said I know a person from there called Hugh Masters." Kyle replied.

Ms. Crabtree withdrew back into her normal stance.

"Uh… Me too…"

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnd….. Cut!

All the cast members got up from there place and walked off set, aside from Kenny, who had to brush off the fake blood from his orange parker. He took off his hood and walked to the director, who was conversing with the choreographer.

"I'm telling you! The scene wasn't believable! We want to let the people know that Kenny McCormick was dying… Not posing as a hood ornament! Redo the scene!" The director, known as Ben Dover, sighed and looked at Kenny.

"Kenny! My main man! Hey, how you doing? Listen... The director is chewing off my ass for this scene to be absolutely perfect. He says that you gotta redo this scene with more empathy. You think you got it in ya?"

Kenny solemnly looked at Ben. "No. I don't have it in me! All I do all day is get hit by a bus or have my head chopped off in a log mill! And I don't even have proper lines! I gotta yell in a jacket, which may I remind you smells of tar and vinegar, and people think it's hilarious! Dude, I-"

"Kenny, don't be such a pussy!" Stan interrupted from afar, looking through his scrips. "Be thankful for what you have got and just roll with it!"

You see, it was easy for the other actors in the show to say that, because they didn't have to do 283 takes of a brutal murder, just to make the audience go 'Eww'… They even got paid a lot more!

"Stan, you have nothing to do with this! Just go and-" Kenny was interrupted by the director, who didn't hear a word he said.

"Hey, that's great kid!" He said in an upward tone, which soon turned into a growl. "Now get back on the set."

"Kenny looked at Stan, who was staring at him with arms folded, and then looked at the director, who continued chatting away with the choreographer and heaved a huge sigh.

"God-Dammit…"

Well, that's chapter one done! I'm not a very good or confident writer, but please review. As this is my first story, I'm not expecting much.

And for all of you that don't get the story so far… Let me explain…

The "South Park" boys are actors on the TV show "South Park" in this version. Kenny is unhappy with the quality of the show and just is a complete pussy about it.

"Chapter Two: I SAID SIT DOWN!" Coming soon…