A/N: Hello guys! This is 1st-huge-tiva-shipper talking to you from Italy where I'm on holidays. I planned to upload this earlier but too maby relatives and fun got in the way and I didn't get the chance to type it. Today though is my birthday and everyone was doing something else preparing my party so I sneeked 5 hours to type this. This is my first attempt of writing something on my own and I want to hope that I did good.
Disclaimer: I own nothing besides the places mentioned which are fictional and mistakes off course which are plenty as English is not my native language.
Enjoy!
Los Angeles
The city of angels indeed. But not for Anthony Dinozzo Jr. Thsi city has always brought him bad things always happened whenever he visited it.
The first incident that made him hate the city happened almost two decades ago. Him and his fellow college students decided to spent their last spring brake in LA. That is when he was in a relationship with Jessica. Yes, it might sound shocking but Tony used to be a relationship guy. Jessica dumped him for a Mexican dancer who just happened to have more abs that him and could play with fire. Big deal!
Needless to say that he spent the next days drinking at a remote bar somewhere in downtown LA. That day he vowed to himself that he would never be in a relationship again. EVER.
Second strike was Jenny's death five years ago. He still blames himself for her murded no matter what Ziva says. It was his fault that they were not there when she was attacked.
What hurt the most was that she was the only person,besides Gibbs, who believed enough in him and his abilities that she offered him a job as the leader of an elite team in Spain which he unfortunatelly didn't accept.
Unfortunattely because had he accepted the offer back then he would have left DC and the team, including Ziva. He would have not fallen in love with her.
Yes, he has finally admitted it to himself that he is madly in love with Ziva David and will be for the rest of his life, that's for sure.
He never thought he would ever love someone that much. The last person he loved was his mother,who like Ziva, abandoned him and broke his heart. The first didn't have a choice to make because apparently God wanted Izabella Dinozzo by his side.
He is more than sure that his mother is in heaven as she was an angel. Not only did she look like one but also had the heart that only an angel could have.
Ziva on the other hand decided to leave him. She thought that she was cause of all the pain that people around her suffered from. That was not entirely true. When Ziva was around people even her smile would lighten up the brightest room and her laugh was like music to anyone's ears. But now that she was gone she had taken all the happiness and joy replacing it with pain. A kind of pain that stabs your heart so many times and so deep that you want to rip it of your chest and cut it to a million pieces and then watch them burn until they turn into black ashes, the color that his dreams have taken.
That kind of pain, which noone can understand or even imagine it before he or she has fallen in love head over heals with someone and then get deserted by that person. The pain is so unbearable that the only wish you have is to curl up it your bed and cry until you die. That's what you want to do, DIE because you can't imagine your life without your other half,practically.
He doesn't know many people who have ever felt like that. Gibbs is one, He is sure that Sharron was the love of his life because none of his other 4 marriages were a success because they were not her.
Another man who has felt that way was his father. It looks like the Dinozzo's are bound to be heartbroken. He found that out from the conversation he had with him when he e first and only person who knew about what really happened in Israel.
"Junior, I've never seen you like that. What is wrong with you son?" asked a worried Dinozzo Sr when he saw the state his son was at.
"She left dad, she left me" said Tony sinking to the nearest couch.
"Who left you? You're losing me here kid" he said while making his way to the cabinet and getting a bottle a scotch and two glasses.
"Z-Ziva" he said with a trembling voice.
"Ziva as in your partner?" asket a more confused Sr.
"Do you know any other Ziva?"
"Well I never thought you would be smart enough to actually innitiate something between you two."
Tony looked at him with a raised eyebrow. How useles did his father think he was?
"Tell me what happened?" he said giving him the glass of scotch
"She went to Israel where she was attacked and then disappeared" he said taking a sip from his drink.
"And you went after her"
"How do you know?"
"Because behind a man's pain there is always a woman"
Tony didn't reply but just kept starring at his glass. "She invited me,you know. I asked her if she wanted some company and she said yes. So I booked the next flight for Tel Aviv. Some things happened in the meantime and I got there after she was attacked. She was not the Ziva I knew and lo...-
-loved. Don't be afraid to say it out loud,son. Anyone with a pair of eyes could that you two had feelings for each other. How many time have I told you to sweep her off her feet?" he asked emptying his own glass.
He laughed at the last sentence. A bitter laugh that sounded more like a cry that a laugh. " Not enough, not enough." he said finishing his drink and staring at the glass like he wanted to make a hole in it. "I spent a week there. I asked her to come home with me, I told her about my feelings, my fears, my dreams... hell, we even made love... but at the end, she decided to stay in Israel. Not even my love was able to change her mind." By this point tears were streaming down his face. He seemed to not have noticed them while Sr on the other hand was aware of them but decided to not say anything because even a man has the need to cry sometimes.
"Don't worry son" he said placing a reasuring hand on his shoulder giving it a gentle squeeze" she will be back when she is ready."
"What is she is never ready? What am I going to do then?"
"Then you do what most men do" he said at Tony who looked at him, his green eyes shinning with with pain and hurt. He really did love Ziva.
"Which is ?" he asked hope evident in his voice.
" You move on"
Which he did. He wasn't seeing another woman, it was too early, but he joined a men's support group. He spent all of his free time there, leaving no room for "Ziva thoughts" as he called them. He even slept more as his dreams were not haunted anymore by scenes of the time he spent with Ziva in Israel.
He and his Group were visiting LA to get away from Washington and enjoy the sun and sea which were ample here. Today was the only day they got to spent alone, doing whatever they wanted. He decided to have a drink at a quiet place and then walk all the way back to the hotel.
He stopped in front of a bar called "Mac's haunt". It seemed quiet enough so he pushed the wooden door and got inside.
It had been a month since Kensi left. A MONTH. Or 31 days, or 744 hours, or 44640 minutes or 2678400 seconds, 2678401, 2678402, 2678403... Yep, he missed her so much that he was counting not only the days they were apart but the seconds too.
The waiting was driving him crazy. His place was filled with images of her being domestic and doing all sorts of things in his living room, kitchen and bedroom. God that bedroom held so many memories along with her scent that he has benn sleeping on his sleeping bag since she left. It was a mutual zone, Kensi had never used it before.
He still was trying to figure out why Hetty reassigned her. She was the one who gave him her permission and pushed him into making the first move with her "sunshine and gunpowder" note. Why would she brake them apart?
One option was that she didn't want them involved but that thought was immediately dismissed because if it was so she would have sent Deeks back to LAPD which she didn't.
That leaves only one more option was that she wanted to test their relationship. Can he really call it a relationship? They only were together for a single night, they didn't reall talk about their"situation" except for the next day, out of the ambulance when he promised that he would be patient with her. Of couse he would be patient, he would do anything for Kensi, his Kensi.
Yes, finally he can call her his. God only knows what Kensi would do to him if she knew that he was climing her as "his". He wants to believe and hope that she would let him call her that. It sound good saying"my Kensi" like she is only his and noone can take her away from him.( which is not entirely true because she is not here,is she?)
Man has he been thinking of her. Not like he didn't think of her before, but now it was different as he knew how it felt to hold her in his arms all night long,how soft her skin was underneath his fingertips and how wispering her name made her shiver and her lips. God those lips would be the death of him. They were so soft and sweet that like a song says, he could kiss them all day if she let him and...
That's it. He desperately needs to get out and have some fresh air to clear his haid.
With one swift move he turned off the TV and rose from his couch. He put on a t-shirt and a pair of shoes. With his right hand he grabed his keys, phone and gun and with his left he openedthe door and got out. The cold air that hit him right in the face was enough to make him lose his step. But his reflexes kicked in and he stadied himself on the wall.
He stood there taking deep breaths until he felt sain enough to drive. He was not sure where he was going until he stoped in front of a bar he hasn't visited in a long time.
Slowly he made his way to the door and got inside.
Immediately, he was greeted by the bartender and owner of the bar.
"Marty, long time no seen dude."
"Sorry Mac, I've been busy" replied Deeks sitting on a stool.
"Your girl's been keepin' you busy ?" he asked with an undertone.
"No, not anymore" he replied shaking his head
"What? Don't tell me you dumped her?" he asked dead serious.
"I'm not in the mood to talk, just grab me a beer, will you?" he almost pleeded.
"Ok, ok not gonna push you" he said raising his hands in surrender.
He drank his beer in silence thinking of Kensi.
No matter what he did or where he was his mind always ended to Kensi. Her smile, her laugh, her courly dark hair and mismatched eyes, her sugar addiction, her smoking hot body, her... well everything was just perfect. She was erfect and he would not want her any other way.
He would have keept thinking about her had it not been for the song that began playing which caught his attention.
Even in your departure
Well, I still don't believe it's true
Why don't you stay just a day or maybe two?
So I can say these final words to you
We watched the rain together
You said you'd leave me never
This love could not be tainted
When you kissed me I almost fainted
When we curled up on the sofa
Never dreamt that this could be over
That song really hit home. It pretty much described their "thing". He still couldn't believe that she was gone and wished every day that she would have stayed another day or... a houndred but he knew she would be away for a long time.
They have never watched the rain together because it never rains in LA, but he had promise to her that he would never die, a promise he tried to keep every single day. He is not sure if can define their thing as love, they didn't really get the chance to talk about it, but if there is one thing he is sure is that he is in for the long run.
Now, he would never admit to anyone, but he was on the verge of fainting when Kensi first kissed him during their undercover OP almost 2 years ago.
He has lost count of how many times they have curled up on Kensi's sofa on a Friday night watchig Top Model while eating take out and drinking beer. And every morning he would be awaking by Kensi's soft snoring in his ear while their feet were tangled and Deeks had his hands protectively around her waist , making him wish for that moment to last longer.
He began laughing at the irony of the situation. This saong could not be more accurate.
"Did you think of a good joke or are you crazy which means that I should get the hell out of here?" asked a man who was sitting in his right.
Deeks laughed for some more before he answered." No, I haven't heard any good jokes lately and I've called before crazy as hell but that's not why I'm laughing. I'm just surprised by how this song describes my life righ now"
"Oh, I get it. " replied the man.
The man was curious and listened to the song too.
You are so...
You are so...
"Ok, if he says 'loved' I'm gonna kill someone." he thought to himself.
...beautiful
"Thank god he said beautiful instead or I should have done something stupid like start crying"
"I see what you mean" said the man taking a long sip of his drink
"And here that I thought that I was the only heartbroken man" said Deeks alughing.
"You're not alone at the battle of love, trust me"
They sat in silence as each other thought about that word. LOVE
It was a simple word really, just four letters but it was too harn to say or feel. Those who found true love could be compared to having won the lottery. Deeks broke the silence by asking a question.
"So, what's your story?"
"You really wanna know?". the man was surprised a stranger would be interested to know his story.
"Sure, why not? They say that talking eases the pain."
He thought about it. Telling the story of your life to a man he didn't know and would never see again was far better than going to a psychologist. That sounded like a good idea.
"Ok I'll tell you but you're gonna tell me yours too so that we can compare notes"
They both laughed at that joke and felt the tension between them disappear.
"Before I start I should warn you that it is a long story"
"And I have nowhere to be tonight"
"Ok then, first of all I'm Tony"
"Marty"
"Nice to meet you". Deeks nodded in responce.
"So..um... i don't know where to begin" Tony said with a sad smile.
"How about how did you two meet or what is her name?" replied Deeks trying to help him.
"Her name is Ziva"
"Ziva?"
"Yeah she is Israeli"
"Ouch...Israelies are tricky" Deeks commented making a painful grimac.
"Tell me about it!" replied Tony laughing.
"We met 8 years ago -
-that's a long time" Deeks interrupted.
"Are you going to let me finish or will you interrupt me all the time?" asked Tony getting kind of annoyed.
"Ok, sorry it's my nature to comment." he apologised. "But please go on I promise to not inerrupt you again."
"Like I said, we met 8 years a go when she walked into the office where I the moment I saw her I knew there was something different about her." He smiled remembering the first time they met. "You know what was the first thing she told me? She asked me if I was having-
BANG! BANG! BANG!
They both drew their weapons and made their way outside.
"LAPD"
"NCIS"
They both shouted at the same time but by then whoever was shooting was gone.
"You a cop? You don't look like one" said Tony hosteling his weapon.
"That's what makes me the best undercover operative" he replied with a proud smile on his face."NCIS?"
"It stands for Naval Crim-
-I know what it stands for. I work there."
"I thought you said you were LAPD."
"I am an LAPD detective but I work as a liasion officer with NCIS. What a coincidence."
"I don't believe in coincidences" said Tony.
"What are you one of those people who believe that everything happens for a reason and that stuff?"
"No it's just that my boss has some rules and rule number 39 says that there is no such thing as a coincidence."
"How many rules does your boss have?"
"45"
"And you know all of them?"
"Yes"
"Have you broken any of them?"
"Let me re-introduce myself. Special Agent Anthony Dinozzo Jr. "
"You're avoiding the question which means that you have broken a rule and Junior huh?"
"What can I say, my father did love himself very much"
"I know that feeling. Anyway I'm LAPD Detective Marty Deeks"
"Deeks?Really?" asked Tony at the same tone with Deeks.
"Long story. And now that mentioned stories are you gonna finsh that one?"
"You still want to hear it?"
"Sure but only of you buy me dinner. I'm starving"
"Why should I buy you dinner.?" asked Tony mockingly
"Well you feds make more money."
"Says who?"
"Remember that I work with feds but I'm not one"
"Too much traing for you?" said Tony laughing.
"You think you're funny?"
"That's what people keep telling me."
"Well they've been lying. Now do you want that dinner or not?"
"Of course I do. You're gonna eat the best burger you've ever had. Trust me!"
They arrived at "John's burgers", the right place to go if you want to have the best burger on the whole sat at a booth and were immediately served.
"So you wanna begin?" asked Deeks
"Sure"
Tony spent the next 2 hours telling Deeks about Ziva. H
e told him about their first meeting and the undercover mission, Jeanne, Jenny's death which resulted to them being seperated for more than 4 months. He also told him about his encourters wirh Rivkin and Eli David and Ziva's capture in Somalia. How he spent those summer months wondering whether she was alive or dead. That was when he realised that he was in love with her and travelled halfway around the world to save her.
Then he mentioned CI-Ray and Barrett, the explosion that let them stuck in an elevator for six endless hours and how their relationship changed from that day and on.
Finally he told him about Ziva going off to Israel and him searching for her like a madman until eventually finding her, spending an amazing week with her before leaving her at Israel along with his heart and soul.
"That's my story"
"Dude you were right, that was a long story but what a story. Have you ever thought about writing abook? Women would buy it like crazy. "
"If I ever quit my job I will do that. Now I wanna hear your story."
"Really?"
"Yes, go on"
"Ok, so me and Kensi met undercover at a MMA gym. From the first moment that I saw her I knew that there was something different about her but she was just another suspect for me."
"When the case was over her boss,Hetty-
-wait you work for Hetty?"
Deeks nodded.
"How is that like?" he asked. Hetty was alegend and noone knew if she was real or just a myth
"Interesting" he replied without hesitation.
"Anyways, she offered me a job as a liasion afficer and I accepted it. From that day and on we have been partners. It was really hard for us to work. We were the total opposite, she was all business and nothing more while I joked around all the time. We had our ups and downs but we survived.
We were undercover too as a married couple for two weeks. That's when I began thinking of her as something more than just a partner, not a wife but I liked how she was domestic around the house, it felt just so...right you know.
I know everything about her from how she likes her coffee to which is her biggest fear you know. To me she is perfect. There is nothing that I would change about her.
He took a deep breath and thought about weather he should him about his torture or not.
"Last summer I was kidnapped and tortured but before that I kissed her. Like a real kiss not an undercover one. It was only me and her. We never talked about it until a month ago. That night I decided to ask her out on a date and we ended up at my place. It was the best night of my entire life. But because I'm on God's black list, the next day she was reassigned to a top secret mission in Afganistan and since that day I've only talked with her 3 times and I'm counting the days until she comes back."
"How long have you known each other?" asked Tony.
"Three years. Well, it's nothing compared to you and Ziva. Men 8 years is too much."
"I know, I know."
"So we're two heartbroken men alone in the city of angels. What an irony."
They both laughed at Deek's comment until Deeks's phone rang.
"It's from work. I have to was nice meeting you."
"You too" said Deeks shaking hands with him.
"Before you go, here is my number. Call me when Kensi comes back and tell me what happens with you two ok" he said giving him a card.
"I will, I promise."
With that said, Deeks left and their ways seperated.
That's it guys. I hope you liked it.
So I might have some ideas about writing a second chapter which is in the future but that is up to you. Leave me a review telling me if you want me to continue this or not.
Love ya all!