Why do I love him?

Summary: After getting beaten and raped by his abusive boyfriend repeatedly, why does he find himself always crawling back? (shizaya) Other pairings in story, read to find out more!

A/N: 안녕! First fic. Yes, this is immensely OOC on Izaya's part, but don't you want to see the vulnerable, clingy side of him? This story may continue depending on the feedback. Reviews, questions, comments and critiques are encouraged! Thank you! ✿(｡◕‿◕｡)

Disclaimer: I don't own Drrr!

I know that Shizuo cares about me, I just do, Izaya thought as he was rubbing alcohol on his wounds for the hundredth time since they started "dating". He refused any thought whatsoever that Shizuo didn't love him. Kida, Mikado and even Namie have warned him that Shizuo had a really bad temper, but he decided to pursue him anyways, whether the blond was gay or not. To other people, the brute was scary, mean and extremely strong,. They never made eye contact with him. Being Izaya, he had provoked him a few times, even had 3 or 4 vending machines thrown at him. Hmmm, not bad at all.

As he finished cleaning up his shoulder wound, Izaya looked in the mirror. He had captivating brown-red eyes and an angular face. Basically, he was very handsome…if you ignored the huge black spot that took up the entire upper left side of his face. He smiled and told himself 'Shizu-chan loves me'

He sat at his computer and started to work, tap away at his computer with lightning speed moving around the mouse looking for information that he need for his client. 'Oh, this guy is paying a lot for this information, wonder why…' He heard a fast rap on the door.

He got out of the swivel chair and opened the door. It was Yagiri Namie holding groceries. Her face was beautiful but very harsh and cold looking. She spoke with an emotionless monotone that made Izaya bored and depressed.

"Izaya help me with these" She ordered. Izaya just smirked and stared at her as she grunted and did it herself. "Useless", she muttered.

She set the groceries and stared at Izaya's face. He looked genuinely happy, just eating the Ootoro she brought for him. 'Pretty happy for a guy that gets the shit beaten out of him twice a day'.

"Hey" Namie said

"whftt" Izaya's mouth was full of food.

"Izaya, seriously, how much longer are you going to take this from Shizuo? You can't even sit properly because he's always…r-rap.."

" You mean making sweet love to me, then yes. And what do you mean " take it from Shizuo"? He loves me and I love him, so butt out and finish up work. Shizuo is on his way"

Right when Namie was on her way out, Shizuo came to the door. He looked tired, and as always…angry. He brushed past her violently and went straight to the kitchen where Izaya was plating the food that she made for them. Shizuo pulled him in for a rough embrace squeezing his waist. Izaya squirmed in delight and gave the blond some food.

"I missed you Shizu-chan!"

"I told you to stop calling me that" Shizuo's bottom lip twitched. As much as I love Izaya, I hate him so much.

" Don't be like that Shizu-chan! Did you miss me back?" the informant brightly grinned awaiting Shizuo's answer.

"Yeah, I guess so. How's your face?"

"I've gotten worse". Oh man I shouldn't have said that

The blond dropped his chopsticks, and looked at Izaya with a weird expression. It was about 60% guilt and 40% rage.

"well, then I guess…that we shouldn't be together. I`m obviously hurting you." This is why I can`t have a relationship with anyone. My stupid anger problem. DAMN. Every girlfriend and well…boyfriend I`ve ever had has left the relationship bruised and broken.

"Shizu-chan are you okay?" Izaya asked like nothing happened. Damn. This is when I get annoyed. He never takes anything seriously.

"why wouldn't I be?"

"You just broke a pair of steel chopsticks and there's a vein popping out of your temple right here…" The informant brought his hand close the blond's head that was slapped away harshly by him.

"Don't touch me. I'm leaving."

"Why? Shizu-chan please staaaaaaaaaay" Izaya pouted and started to whine. Oh my god this will be a long night.

Izaya pressed his lips to Shizuo's which were chapped. The blond made no effort to kiss him back. His jaw was wired shut, like his eyes, replaying everything that happened the past hour. Have I really hurt Izaya that much?

The informant still tried to kiss Shizuo, trying to pry his mouth open which (obviously) angered the blond. He grabbed Izaya by the shirt and threw him the floor. He landed with a thud on his back and groaned. Shizuo rushed out of the apartment furious, surprised with himself that he didn't actually kill him. Damn flea. Doesn't understand when to give up.

My back…ugh…so strong Shizu-chan. Izaya had a hard time getting up because of his shoulder from earlier which still ached. Oh and of course don't forget the pain in his ass from last night. It was their 10th time in a week. Shizuo was very impatient, often going in dry if he had to, when they never had…equipment. Obviously, roughness was part of his kink and made Izaya hard, but when Shizuo started going inside, halfway through he'd go soft because he was crying and screaming. The blond thought that Izaya actually liked it, and continued harder and faster which made Izaya in turn cry harder and scream louder. Shizuo would never notice Izaya's soft dick because he was thinking of his own. Izaya even considered the blond "merciful" if he made Izaya give him a blowjob. BJ means moisture, I need all that I can get.

He crawled into bed, smiling sadly. Shizu-chan is probably just going through some stuff. I know he loves me. But I need to find out what, before I die this time.

A/N: Sucky chapter is sucky.